Fluttering Outside
by The Eighth Weasley
You have never had friends. You have had acquaintances, that hard-to-spell word that is equally hard on the mouth as it is on the brain and heart. You have never had a pal or a buddy or a best mate or a confidante. You have always been Loony Luna Lovegood, and you're fine with that. Being Loony means you never have to wonder if you're going insane. You already are, so what's the point in wondering? You'll always be on the outside, so there is nothing to be sad for. You'll never be on the inside with the "normal" people, those giggling girls who also cry when their friends, both girl- and boy-, let them down.
So when Harry asks you if you'd like to go to the Christmas party, as friends, you are both happy and sad and scared and yes, three things make a both. You are happy because Harry is a nice boy and he's going to be your first friend; and you tell him so. But then you feel sad because the look in his eyes is worried; he is worried that you will be too weird, and you don't want a nice boy like Harry to worry. And you are scared because perhaps you are suddenly too weird, perhaps you are fluttering too close to the flame of normality, and if you get too close you will lose yourself to it and you will be one of those girls who giggle and cry.
But you are happy, because Harry is a nice boy, and he is going to be your friend, even if it's only for one night.