I'm sorry its been so long between this update and the last. I've been crazily busy with schoolwork and stuff.
I just got round to watching some new episodes of The OC and there's something I think I should clear up about this story. I just watched the episode where Seth meets Summer's dad and Summer and her father are really close, like best friends. In this story they're not. He's really detached from her life. I hope that's okay and if it isn't its already written and I don't feel like changing it so tough.
Thank you so much for all the reviews. I really appreciate the feedback so if there are ever any comments or criticisms or compliments I would be very pleased to hear them.
***
She made her way through the tables littering the patio which looked out onto Newport and all of its property. She had never really looked at the world around her, and if she had she had never really seen it the way it was. It wasn't that she was completely superficial. She thought about things. But it was only as she had gotten to know Ryan and Seth that she had fully appreciated the positive and negative aspects of her life. Their presence had brought into sharp focus the people around her. She had never realised quite how boring her friends were. Marissa was very different because she had never seemed to fit exactly. She was much too intelligent and beautiful and funny to be a real part of the Newport community. But for Summer it was all she knew. She knew she wasn't that intelligent. She wasn't stupid, and she did well at school, hence her attendance at the most prestigious high school in the area but she was hardly the cleverest girl in the world. She also knew she wasn't beautiful, atleast not in the same way as Marissa. She wasn't awful to look at, in fact she was quite the opposite. She knew she was good looking but there was something about Marissa that separated the two of them and made Marissa the first choice for any number of guys while Summer was the one they used as a back up plan.
The truth was Summer had very low self esteem. She hid it well, she hid a lot of things well. Her fathers continual absence from her life; her stepmothers reliance on prescription drugs; her isolation in her own home. All of them were things hidden from the majority of the people who thought they knew her. Marissa was the only one who had any idea and even she didn't know everything.
Summer lowered herself into a chair and placed her bag on the table in front of her. It was lunchtime but she didn't feel like eating. She just wanted to go to sleep. The night before she hadn't gotten much and even when she had turned up at Marissa's she had been unable to drift off. Everytime something happened at home she would go to the Cooper household, knowing that she could find some sort of sanctuary there. And everytime she would be hit by insomnia, incapable of sleeping but too exhausted to move. She would lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling, watching as the moon, if there was one made its slow leisurely way across the black sky.
She looked up as she heard someone place a tray down on the table behind her, her thoughts lost to her for that moment atleast. She looked around her at all the other students congregating in the near vicinity. All of them had their own problems, she wasn't so superficial that she didn't realise that but, and this was the reason everyone thought she was such a bitch she could so easily get lost in her own that she didn't even notice theirs. She guessed that was how it was with everyone. Even the alternative kids had issues and though they would be loathe to admit it they were as self centered as she was.
'You not eating anything?'
She turned around quickly at the sound of the voice. When she saw the owner of it she rolled her eyes.
'Does it look I'm eating anything Cohen?' she bit back.
'No,' he replied.
She glared at him for a second before turning back round in her chair. She could feel his eyes boring into the back of her neck but refused to even acknowledge his presence.
'Are you okay?'
She frowned as she tried to think of an appropriate answer, some sort of witty retort. But the question had stunned her slightly. None of her friends had asked her that question that day. None of them had even noticed that she was out of sorts. And yet she had been acting in exactly the same way towards Seth all morning. She had been snappy and bitchy and mean and she had barely acknowledged that he existed and even though that was the way she acted all the time he had still seen through it and he had still asked her that one question.
Truth was she wasn't okay, she hadn't been for a long time.
But she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't just lay all of her feelings on the line, especially not to Seth Cohen. She had spent so long acting like she was perfectly happy she didn't know how to do anything else.
'I'm fine,' she said, a little defensively without even turning around.
He continued to stare at the back of her head. He knew Summer, hell he had spent the past few years of his life getting to know her without her knowledge. It involved a lot of body language and he had become pretty good at analysing it. He knew when something was wrong, and right now she was in some serious turmoil. But if she didn't want to let him in she wouldn't and there was nothing he could do to open her up. Summer had spent the past few years of her life perfecting the art of treating him with disdain and she had become an expert at shooting him down.
***
Marissa walked across the grass. The world practically shone in her eyes and she knew it wasn't just because the sun was shining so brightly. She couldn't help smiling to herself as she thought of Ryan. He was gorgeous, of course he was, but she had known that since she first met him. Last night things had changed, her thoughts towards him had changed. She didn't want to over think the whole thing, she knew that was the way to ruin a perfectly good relationship but she couldn't help it. Ryan was so much more than just a guy, which was exactly what Luke had been. She had stayed with him because he provided her with some sort of security. If she stayed in the relationship she didn't have to worry about meeting new people, she didn't have to care what other guys thought of her because she had a boyfriend. It had been safe and it had been nice having someone there who would always listen to her but she wanted something more. And Ryan was the one offering that to her. With him she felt invigorated, she felt alive for what seemed like the first time in years.
She looked towards the tables with numerous groups of students eating at them. Seth and Summer sitting at different tables even though they both had so much in common. Their relationship, if that's what it could be called was strange to Marissa. She knew she had never noticed Seth before and she felt sorry for that because she had been the one missing out. He was funny and intelligent and he saw things that others didn't. And Summer was funny, intelligent and equally observant but yet they never seemed to get round to talking to each other. She smiled to herself. They were so close to each other and yet so far apart because neither of them would relinquish their hold on the preconceived ideas they had of each other, Seth that Summer was some sort of Goddess, too far away for him to touch; Summer that Seth was some sort of mentally deficient loser.
She felt a hand on her arm and turned to look into his eyes. She smiled in greeting and he smiled back. After a few seconds she looked around her at all the people she had temporarily forgotten were there. He let go of her arm. She frowned. Everything had seemed so simple last night. They had kissed and the rest of the world had melted away into nothing. There had been no way of pulling her back from that but she knew now that she had been naïve. There were so many things which could destroy her happiness. She knew her mother didn't like Ryan, that was clear enough but there were other kids at school. She hated that she relied on their opinions to shape her life but she did. She couldn't deny it and she didn't know why she did it. Maybe it was because she had done it for the past few years and habits were hard to get out of but she didn't think that was it. She was scared of people thinking badly of her. It was the one thing she really didn't like about herself.
Ryan watched as her facial expression changed from one of happiness to self consciousness. He had always known that it would be difficult having a thing with Marissa. She had so much more to lose than him for a start. Her parents were protective over her whereas one set of parents didn't give a damn about him and the others were extremely lenient. The Cohen's pretty much left him to himself and he appreciated it. Plus there were all the people at school. He didn't care what they thought of him, he was able to handle himself but to Marissa they were her peers, her fellow students, a lot of them were her friends.
'You wanna get some lunch?' he asked, as they pulled apart a little and started walking to the tables Seth and Summer were currently situated at.
'I'm not that hungry,' Marissa said, her jubilation at seeing Ryan beginning to fade as reality set in. She tucked her hair behind her ear self consciously. She was suddenly acutely aware of how deeply within a dream world she had been. What an idiot she must have looked like. She ducked her head as she walked past people she didn't really want to talk to at that moment. She was already tired of the facade, she didn't want to have to keep it up for all of her friends as well as Ryan.
He looked around him, watching as people passed him and as he passed them. It was hard to believe that none of them could see what was going on. He knew he wasn't that good an actor and the smile that appeared on his face and the look that appeared in his eyes were so obvious that he was amazed they couldn't see it. He wanted so much to grab her and pull her to him, he wanted to kiss her lips and feel her warmth against his body. But he knew he would give her as much time as she wanted and he would do it happily. If it meant that he could be close to her eventually he would do it with a song in his heart.
He looked across at Seth. Everything seemed to be so much simpler for him. He never worried about what other people thought and he put his heart on the line at the slightest indication that he should. It was like he didn't have any concern for the consequences of his actions and that made him so much more liberated than everyone else. But the one thing he couldn't do was tell Summer how he really felt. And the one thing Ryan couldn't do was tell everyone else how he felt about Marissa. Their lives were far too complicated to be real.
'Hey,' Ryan said as he approached the two tables. He frowned and looked across at Marissa. The plan had been to eat lunch together but their friends clearly had different ideas.
'Hey,' Seth replied.
Silence engulfed the four of them and awkwardness filled the air and made them all squirm a little.
Ryan rolled his eyes in Marissa's direction and she smiled in return. Ryan pulled out a chair at Seth's table as Marissa did the same at Summer's. The silence didn't go away.
I just got round to watching some new episodes of The OC and there's something I think I should clear up about this story. I just watched the episode where Seth meets Summer's dad and Summer and her father are really close, like best friends. In this story they're not. He's really detached from her life. I hope that's okay and if it isn't its already written and I don't feel like changing it so tough.
Thank you so much for all the reviews. I really appreciate the feedback so if there are ever any comments or criticisms or compliments I would be very pleased to hear them.
***
She made her way through the tables littering the patio which looked out onto Newport and all of its property. She had never really looked at the world around her, and if she had she had never really seen it the way it was. It wasn't that she was completely superficial. She thought about things. But it was only as she had gotten to know Ryan and Seth that she had fully appreciated the positive and negative aspects of her life. Their presence had brought into sharp focus the people around her. She had never realised quite how boring her friends were. Marissa was very different because she had never seemed to fit exactly. She was much too intelligent and beautiful and funny to be a real part of the Newport community. But for Summer it was all she knew. She knew she wasn't that intelligent. She wasn't stupid, and she did well at school, hence her attendance at the most prestigious high school in the area but she was hardly the cleverest girl in the world. She also knew she wasn't beautiful, atleast not in the same way as Marissa. She wasn't awful to look at, in fact she was quite the opposite. She knew she was good looking but there was something about Marissa that separated the two of them and made Marissa the first choice for any number of guys while Summer was the one they used as a back up plan.
The truth was Summer had very low self esteem. She hid it well, she hid a lot of things well. Her fathers continual absence from her life; her stepmothers reliance on prescription drugs; her isolation in her own home. All of them were things hidden from the majority of the people who thought they knew her. Marissa was the only one who had any idea and even she didn't know everything.
Summer lowered herself into a chair and placed her bag on the table in front of her. It was lunchtime but she didn't feel like eating. She just wanted to go to sleep. The night before she hadn't gotten much and even when she had turned up at Marissa's she had been unable to drift off. Everytime something happened at home she would go to the Cooper household, knowing that she could find some sort of sanctuary there. And everytime she would be hit by insomnia, incapable of sleeping but too exhausted to move. She would lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling, watching as the moon, if there was one made its slow leisurely way across the black sky.
She looked up as she heard someone place a tray down on the table behind her, her thoughts lost to her for that moment atleast. She looked around her at all the other students congregating in the near vicinity. All of them had their own problems, she wasn't so superficial that she didn't realise that but, and this was the reason everyone thought she was such a bitch she could so easily get lost in her own that she didn't even notice theirs. She guessed that was how it was with everyone. Even the alternative kids had issues and though they would be loathe to admit it they were as self centered as she was.
'You not eating anything?'
She turned around quickly at the sound of the voice. When she saw the owner of it she rolled her eyes.
'Does it look I'm eating anything Cohen?' she bit back.
'No,' he replied.
She glared at him for a second before turning back round in her chair. She could feel his eyes boring into the back of her neck but refused to even acknowledge his presence.
'Are you okay?'
She frowned as she tried to think of an appropriate answer, some sort of witty retort. But the question had stunned her slightly. None of her friends had asked her that question that day. None of them had even noticed that she was out of sorts. And yet she had been acting in exactly the same way towards Seth all morning. She had been snappy and bitchy and mean and she had barely acknowledged that he existed and even though that was the way she acted all the time he had still seen through it and he had still asked her that one question.
Truth was she wasn't okay, she hadn't been for a long time.
But she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't just lay all of her feelings on the line, especially not to Seth Cohen. She had spent so long acting like she was perfectly happy she didn't know how to do anything else.
'I'm fine,' she said, a little defensively without even turning around.
He continued to stare at the back of her head. He knew Summer, hell he had spent the past few years of his life getting to know her without her knowledge. It involved a lot of body language and he had become pretty good at analysing it. He knew when something was wrong, and right now she was in some serious turmoil. But if she didn't want to let him in she wouldn't and there was nothing he could do to open her up. Summer had spent the past few years of her life perfecting the art of treating him with disdain and she had become an expert at shooting him down.
***
Marissa walked across the grass. The world practically shone in her eyes and she knew it wasn't just because the sun was shining so brightly. She couldn't help smiling to herself as she thought of Ryan. He was gorgeous, of course he was, but she had known that since she first met him. Last night things had changed, her thoughts towards him had changed. She didn't want to over think the whole thing, she knew that was the way to ruin a perfectly good relationship but she couldn't help it. Ryan was so much more than just a guy, which was exactly what Luke had been. She had stayed with him because he provided her with some sort of security. If she stayed in the relationship she didn't have to worry about meeting new people, she didn't have to care what other guys thought of her because she had a boyfriend. It had been safe and it had been nice having someone there who would always listen to her but she wanted something more. And Ryan was the one offering that to her. With him she felt invigorated, she felt alive for what seemed like the first time in years.
She looked towards the tables with numerous groups of students eating at them. Seth and Summer sitting at different tables even though they both had so much in common. Their relationship, if that's what it could be called was strange to Marissa. She knew she had never noticed Seth before and she felt sorry for that because she had been the one missing out. He was funny and intelligent and he saw things that others didn't. And Summer was funny, intelligent and equally observant but yet they never seemed to get round to talking to each other. She smiled to herself. They were so close to each other and yet so far apart because neither of them would relinquish their hold on the preconceived ideas they had of each other, Seth that Summer was some sort of Goddess, too far away for him to touch; Summer that Seth was some sort of mentally deficient loser.
She felt a hand on her arm and turned to look into his eyes. She smiled in greeting and he smiled back. After a few seconds she looked around her at all the people she had temporarily forgotten were there. He let go of her arm. She frowned. Everything had seemed so simple last night. They had kissed and the rest of the world had melted away into nothing. There had been no way of pulling her back from that but she knew now that she had been naïve. There were so many things which could destroy her happiness. She knew her mother didn't like Ryan, that was clear enough but there were other kids at school. She hated that she relied on their opinions to shape her life but she did. She couldn't deny it and she didn't know why she did it. Maybe it was because she had done it for the past few years and habits were hard to get out of but she didn't think that was it. She was scared of people thinking badly of her. It was the one thing she really didn't like about herself.
Ryan watched as her facial expression changed from one of happiness to self consciousness. He had always known that it would be difficult having a thing with Marissa. She had so much more to lose than him for a start. Her parents were protective over her whereas one set of parents didn't give a damn about him and the others were extremely lenient. The Cohen's pretty much left him to himself and he appreciated it. Plus there were all the people at school. He didn't care what they thought of him, he was able to handle himself but to Marissa they were her peers, her fellow students, a lot of them were her friends.
'You wanna get some lunch?' he asked, as they pulled apart a little and started walking to the tables Seth and Summer were currently situated at.
'I'm not that hungry,' Marissa said, her jubilation at seeing Ryan beginning to fade as reality set in. She tucked her hair behind her ear self consciously. She was suddenly acutely aware of how deeply within a dream world she had been. What an idiot she must have looked like. She ducked her head as she walked past people she didn't really want to talk to at that moment. She was already tired of the facade, she didn't want to have to keep it up for all of her friends as well as Ryan.
He looked around him, watching as people passed him and as he passed them. It was hard to believe that none of them could see what was going on. He knew he wasn't that good an actor and the smile that appeared on his face and the look that appeared in his eyes were so obvious that he was amazed they couldn't see it. He wanted so much to grab her and pull her to him, he wanted to kiss her lips and feel her warmth against his body. But he knew he would give her as much time as she wanted and he would do it happily. If it meant that he could be close to her eventually he would do it with a song in his heart.
He looked across at Seth. Everything seemed to be so much simpler for him. He never worried about what other people thought and he put his heart on the line at the slightest indication that he should. It was like he didn't have any concern for the consequences of his actions and that made him so much more liberated than everyone else. But the one thing he couldn't do was tell Summer how he really felt. And the one thing Ryan couldn't do was tell everyone else how he felt about Marissa. Their lives were far too complicated to be real.
'Hey,' Ryan said as he approached the two tables. He frowned and looked across at Marissa. The plan had been to eat lunch together but their friends clearly had different ideas.
'Hey,' Seth replied.
Silence engulfed the four of them and awkwardness filled the air and made them all squirm a little.
Ryan rolled his eyes in Marissa's direction and she smiled in return. Ryan pulled out a chair at Seth's table as Marissa did the same at Summer's. The silence didn't go away.