Hmph. No reviews? What's up with that?

Anywho, I've found this on somebody's alert list, but apparently, ahem they did not review ahem so…I'm not going to name any black magic names, but, here's the next chapter.

Brokeback Hogwarts Chapter 2

For the purposes of the story, we will now forget about all the girls in Montana.

Back to Wyoming

"A year! What the bloody hell?" Ron said (This is me making an attempt at British slang) .

"I dunno what goes on in that old guy's head," said Harry.

"Dyathink we'll make it without any girls for a year?" Asked Seamus.

"I dunno about that, either."

"Dyaknow anything?"

"Not really," Harry was getting annoyed.

"Alright kiddies, now we are going to go hiking!" Shouted Dumbledore.

"Hiking? Why?"

"Because there's a great view from the top of the mountain!"

"So, why don't we just Side-Along Apparate or something?"

"Because that would take the Muggle-ness out of it!"

"BUT WE'RE NOT MUGGLES!" shouted the guys in unision.

"We are pretending to be," Snape said, "Although I must say it's an idiotic idea."

There was a rumble of agreement throughout the crowd.

"Why the bloody hell are we agreeing with Snape? In fact, I dunno what year this is set in, but Dumbledore is supposed to be dead, and Snape ran away because he killed Dumbledore!"

"They're onto us, Albus!"

"RUN!"

"No stupid, APPARATE!"

And with a loud crack, the two were gone. The other male teachers, Flitwick, Firenze, Hagrid, and Slughorn, looked on in bewilderment.

"What just happened here?" asked Firenze.

"Um, I dunno," said Harry.

"WE KNOW YOU DUNNO!" shouted all the guys.

"Well, let's go for a hike!" Ernie said enthusiastically.

The crowd turned on Ernie MacMillan quicker than a Jack-Rabbit becomes a great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great­-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- grandfather. And that doesn't take too long, either.

"Just…kidding?"

"Well," said Hagrid, "I think we oughta go on a hike anyhow,"

"And I agree," said Firenze.

And for the sake of a plot, everybody got lost.

That night

Harry unpacked his tent and struggled to pitch it. And then, out of the bushes, jumped—

"Petrificus Totalus!" shouted Harry, who was really on the edge because he was so afraid.

Malfoy fell flat on on his face, squriming for his life.

"Oh, sorry, what're you doing here, this late at night? Unpetrifucus Totalus!" Harry said, which I don't think is really a spell, but it is now.

"Well, I lost my tent. See, there was this frog, and it was evil as hell, and it was all RIBBIT! And I freaked, and then I dropped my backpack off a cliff!"

"And now you have nowhere to stay," Harry finished for him.

"Yeah," said Draco, "I'm not really evil, my parents abuse me boo hoo!"

"Really? Aw, I'm sorry Drakie-poo," said Harry.

"I love you, Harry-Poo,"

"I love you too!"

They snog and, one thing leads to another…but to make a long story short they rolled off a cliff. Talk about tough love.

Next time: More sickening pairings!