Disclaimer: The only thing that I own in here is Tessa. That's it. And I'm not making any money off of this either.
So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love love
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
"Oh gee, I don't know Sirius," Tessa stammered. "I don't know if I…I mean, gee, I'm just so surprised…! But, if you really want me to go with you…I'm not going with anyone else, so if you're really sure…" Tessa groped for more words to express her confusion, and then she finally blurted out, "You aren't just going to embarrass me, are you, Sirius? Please don't, I don't handle social situations well, I'm a bit like the girl in the book 'Carrie'…also, I babble on a bit…"
Her face was now completely red as she looked down at her Mary Jane's, not daring to look at Sirius except for a few snatched glances. From what she observed, he wasn't smirking at her or anything like that, but simply smiling in a pleasant, patient, and almost bemused way.
"I have no idea what the book 'Carrie' is," he said agreeably, "But I do know that you don't babble on all that much." He suddenly looked at her much more intently, and Tessa found the courage to look up at him. He was gorgeous, and Tessa had often snuck glances at him during her long, quiet days. Now he was looking her full in the face, and her face was on fire with something a bit more extreme then a maidenly blush.
"I do want you to go with me to the Halloween Ball, Tessa. That's why I asked you." Now his nearly grim expression broke into a grin. "And I promise I won't embarrass you."
Tessa looked carefully at him with her blue-green eyes, the color of the ocean on a clear day. "Promise?" She asked timidly, biting her lower lip.
"Promise," Sirius said, and he smiled at her again. It warmed Tessa from the inside out. She hurried off in the direction of the library, her skin still not back to its usual pale color.
Sirius watched Tessa as she nearly ran off, her honey brown curls bouncing and her books nearly spilling out of her arms. Sirius chuckled to himself and turned to go to the Great Hall, thinking about the girl.
He had watched her often, sitting alone with her nose buried in a book. Occasionally she was sitting with someone else, and sometimes it was with a few other Ravenclaw girls, the ones that dressed all in black and wrote crappy poetry. Sirius thought that Tessa was cute, with her little button nose, curled hair, and she was so short! Barely even five foot, if that. He needed a date for the Halloween ball anyway, so why not her?
Sirius continued to watch her as the time went by, the ball drawling closer by the day. They barely talked, as Tessa barley even talked to anyone, but he did draw from her that she would be wearing a white gown.
He also knew that Lily would not shut up about the silly ball, and now drug a scarcely willing Tessa along with her wherever she went.
The night of the ball came, and since Tessa was a Ravenclaw they had decided to meet up in the Great Hall. Sirius was sitting there, joking with James as Lily and Remus were immersed in what Sirius supposed was a 'deep' conversation, when he saw her.
She was indeed wearing a white gown, and it was gorgeous. Tessa started blushing when she noticed that Sirius was looking at her, and her eyes dropped to the floor while she walked over to him. "Hi," she mumbled, sitting down.
"Oh, gosh Tessa, you look fabulous!" Lily gushed. Sirius, James, and Remus all knew that Lily was only nice to Tessa because A) she was Sirius's date and B) the girl was incredibly shy. It rather grated on her nerves, the girl seemed scared to even look at a person, let alone express her own opinions about something.
"Thanks," Tessa mumbled with a small smile, and proceeded to sit and listen to the others talk. Sirius watched her, amused. She hadn't been lying when she said she wasn't very good at handling social situations.
Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love
They were dancing when Sirius noticed just how beautiful Tessa really looked. She had on all this sparkly white makeup, and she was just so darn cute! The little thing was at least a foot shorter than himself. As he twirled her around and around, her hair and skirts floating and her lips actually smiling, something unsettling shifted in his stomach.
Perhaps not unsettling, but something different. He'd never felt it before, and it felt good. A bit warm and fuzzy inside, if you will.
And when she smiled, it made him smile. After the Ball, he kept watching her, more closely.
After the Ball, Tessa watched him too, and when their eyes met she smiled at him, a sweet, fleeting thing that was seldom seen on her face. She had a sprinkling of light freckles on her face, Sirius had noticed, and he was going over the exact pattern of freckles on her face in his mind one evening in the common room.
"Sirius…earth to Sirius, dammit!"
It was James. Sirius' gaze snapped from the fire's blaze that he wasn't really looking at to James and Remus. "Yeah? What, James?"
James shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You're never here anymore, Padfoot. What's up with that?"
"He's thinking about a new girl," Remus said absent-mindedly as he scribbled something on a piece of parchment.
"Oh really?" James asked with an evil grin. Not being single anymore, he lived through Sirius' triumphs. "Is it that redheaded Ravenclaw, Helena? No, wait…it's the blond girl in our house…what's-her-name? Janice?"
"Nope," Remus answered for Sirius.
Sirius actually blushed and made a threatening gesture towards Remus. "I swear," he said, suddenly knowing that he knew. "Don't you say a word. You don't even know who…not there's anyone…"
James lit up further, and stood up too. He crossed the few feet between the couch where he and Sirius had been sitting and the table where Remus was. "Tell me right now, Moony, or I'll skin you alive. I swear I'll do it!" He was half laughing, and had a huge goofy grin on his face.
Sirius' face was aflame now. It was one thing to snatch up a girl for a silly dance, but to fantasize about her for over a week, and not even have the guts to screw her and get it over with? That was taboo, and James would never stop mocking him for it.
Remus took one look at Sirius' face and knew it would devastate him if he told. So he just muttered something about messing with James and got back to his work. Sirius silently thanked God as James flopped back on the couch.
So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love
He finally got the guts to ask her out in December, and after the trip to the Three Broomsticks he brought her back to his common room. They were sitting together on the couch, not touching each other, both of them looking into the fire. It was late and the room was empty.
"…I had a really fun time tonight," Sirius finally ventured, suddenly and inexplicably nervous. He kept fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.
Tessa looked up at him for a moment, expressionless. And then she smiled warmly and shifted her weight a little bit closer to him. "I had a fun time too," she said in her soft, light voice. That's how Sirius always thought of it: soft and light, like a feather. Like her.
After a moment of looking in the fire again, Tessa said quietly, "That's the first time I've laughed in a while."
Sirius broke into a grin as he remembered that he had made her laugh that evening, even though it was a light and fleeting thing. He couldn't even remember the comment at the moment, some witty thing he supposed. "I'm glad I can make you laugh."
"So am I."
Sirius took a deep breath and a risky chance; he scooted over closer to Tessa. He shot a quick look at her, and she blushed. His hand that wasn't fiddling with the button settled itself between them, and Tessa looked at it. Then, hesitantly and carefully, she lifted her own hand and rested it on top of his. This little touch, so simple, so right, sent a little shock through the both of them.
Tessa looked into Sirius' dark eyes, a scared look on her face. She wet her lips and said breathlessly, "Sirius…I've never felt this way about anyone before."
"Neither have I," Sirius said quite honestly. He had felt lust, and this wasn't it. "But I like it."
Tessa smiled wanly at him and whispered so soft that he nearly missed it, "I think I like it too."
Taking an even bigger risk, but fearing what would happen if he didn't take it, Sirius slowly eased his top half closer to Tessa and brought her hand into his lap. He had to be careful with her, he was so scared of scaring her away. It would kill him if she ran away and never spoke to him again, all because he read her wrong at a crucial moment. But if he didn't act, how would the wall between them ever be breached? How would he ever know for sure?
To his relief and slight astonishment, Tessa leaned toward him too, and their lips crashed together in delicious, delirious, absolute perfection. It didn't take long for them to end up snuggling together on the couch, making out. Sirius would reach out and lightly graze his fingertips over the shape of her body, making her shiver. He instinctively knew that Tessa wasn't ready for anything too fast paced, so they talked and kissed and touched.
These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no
They fell asleep on the couch and were discovered (fully clothed) by Remus, James, and Lily. The three were sitting on a nearby couch when they awoke. Before he realized they were there, Sirius buried his face in Tessa's neck and kissed it delicately.
"I think we overslept, Tess," he said, judging by the light pouring in the window. "Good thing it's a Saturday, eh?" Sirius smiled and stretched. "Um, Tess, are you awake?" he asked idly. He looked down at her, smiling as he watched her sleeping face. She was positively adorable.
Sirius carefully sat up without disturbing Tessa and stretched again. And that was when he saw Lily, James, and Remus. Lily looked rather pissed off for some reason, James was nearly exploding with glee, and Remus had a small smile of satisfaction on his face.
"Don't – say – a – word," Sirius hissed urgently, glancing down at the sleeping form of what he now guessed was his girlfriend. He didn't want her to wake up and see the other three, and then be frightened off. He didn't want that. "Go – away," he hissed to the three, and they obliged him for the moment.
Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love
James teased him endlessly, and suddenly Lily was on a rant about how it was dishonorable to date those who weren't in the same house as yourself. Remus didn't have a thing to say on the subject, but Sirius could tell that he approved.
But amazingly, Sirius didn't care. Tessa didn't consume his entire world, but she was the biggest part in it now. Sirius was finding so much about her; and not just the little things like her middle name (Nadine), what her parents' did for a living, or even that she was allergic to strawberries. It was so much more than that. It was that she chewed on her lip when she was nervous, hummed Elton John or The Beatles when she was happy, had the most annoying habit of starting from her seat if you made a quick move around her, and simply couldn't stand to hear people talk about Quidditch, which she hated. It was all these things and so much more.
Sirius was knowing her, and she was knowing him. When he was with her, he felt complete and completely at ease, and Tessa even loosened up. She didn't laugh often, but she did smile a lot more.
Tessa and Sirius were sitting in the Quidditch stands one day, watching the Gryffindor team practice. Tessa couldn't stand the sport, but she came because Sirius liked it. She found herself doing things that she normally wouldn't have: going to Quidditch games, going out on dates, and even talking to Sirius' friends. She didn't mind doing these things, just as she supposed Sirius didn't mind the occasional quiet evening in the common room or library.
Just the other day they had been spending one of those quiet evenings together, and Sirius had suddenly snatched up her hand in his own, making her jump a little. He looked deeply into her eyes and said, "Tessa…I think I love you."
Tessa's eyes grew wide and she rapidly shook her head. "No Sirius, no no no! Please don't say that, it makes it so…so…real," she said finally, tears welling in her eyes.
"Is that so bad?" Sirius ventured, "Having our feelings for each other real, and out there?"
"No," Tessa said fitfully, "It's just that…I think I might love you too…and it scares me."
A tear found its way down her cheek, and Sirius tenderly brushed it away. "It shouldn't, darling. I love you." He told her truthfully, leaning close to her.
"I love you too," Tessa whispered back, and kissed him.
That night, they had made love, the first time for Tessa. It was the first time that mattered for Sirius. What they said was really true: it was better with someone that you loved.
And now she was sitting next to him, watching the players practice. She wasn't sad that she had made love to Sirius, she loved him. Tessa didn't think that it would last forever, but she could hope.
"Hey Tess," Sirius said nervously.
Tessa looked at him, a thousand worries popping into her mind. "What? Is something the matter? What's wrong?" she said quickly, quite alarmed.
"Nothing, darling," Sirius said, smiling at her. He licked his lips and took her hands in his. "Just…I want to give you something." And he pulled something out of his pocket, and Tessa realized with a strange mix of horror and absolute glee that it was a ring. "Tessa, I love you. I'm not asking for marriage, just a commitment. Please?"
Tessa blinked rapidly to clear her eyes of tears. The ring was a claddagh, she noticed, made from expensive white gold. "I love you too, Sirius. I don't know what I'm saying, but yes, I'll commit to you."
Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love
It was so odd, the way that they just fit together, and didn't care what anyone said or thought about them.
We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love
Accidentally
And it was an accident, wasn't it? The simple little school dance had led to some much more, what was ultimately to become…
I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally
…a six year long relationship. They had even had a child together, with dear James and Lily (who had never really warmed up to Tessa, just as she never really got over her shyness) acting as god-parents.
Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her
The little girl was the most beautiful thing in the world, and Tessa cherished her right up to the end, and Sirius cherished them both, even after Tessa was gone. For a very short time he had her child to comfort him, but then that was wrested from him. He still loved her, and wondered endlessly what would have happened had she turned him down any of the thousand little risks he took.
Love ...I'm in love