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To Kakashi-fan: You're welcome for the chapters! I can guarantee you more "dreaminess" in this chapter. Actually, what happens here is probably the fluffiest stuff I've ever written, much less posted! *re-reads it* Uck, I can't believe I WROTE that...
To JadeGodddess: Since Kenshin is the only one who knows about Tokio, it could get interesting. I'm not sure what I'll do with that, but the Kenshin-gumi will only be secondary characters!
Also a thank you to Msamandah and Shiro for reading and reviewing!
Chapter 7: Kamiya
I'm shocked to see that a woman runs the place, and she looks much younger than I. She seems surprised to have us visit. Her hair is tied up with a single band, and she's wearing a gi and a pair of hakama pants.
"Konban wa." I bow before her. "This is the Kamiya Dojo, correct?" I read the sign at the door.
The woman nods.
"I've been looking around for a school to enroll Eiji in. Is it all right if we come in?"
At that statement, the girl gets about as excited as Eiji and quickly welcomes us in. The dojo has a domesticated touch to it, and right off the bat I feel comfortable there. The girl takes us into the training room, a long room with smooth wooden floors. Several wooden swords and nameplates line the walls. She sits us down.
"My name is Kamiya Kaoru." She introduces herself, and we return the gesture. "I'm very glad you're interested in our dojo."
I smile. "A waitress down the street told us about it."
Kaoru lights up a bit more. "I'm the assistant director for the Kamiya Kasshin style."
"Kamiya Kasshin?" I repeat. It sounds a bit different.
Kaoru nods. "It's a technique use to protect people, not hurt them. I strongly believe in that."
I listen more. She doesn't give me a sales pitch like the others, but talks person to person.
"Yahiko currently is my only full time student." I catch that sentence as she speaks to us. "Eiji, he looks about your age."
Ah, the bonus arises.
"And you teach all of this?" I inquire.
Kaoru nods with a smile.
"Eiji would need classes in the evening, he has schooling during the day." I explain.
Kaoru nods again. "I can schedule classes whenever possible for about one to three hours, whatever works best. As you can tell, we use wooden swords." She pointed to the wall.
Eiji liked that idea.
Kaoru continued on about the school, and her prices were surprisingly low. At one point she actually picked a bokken off the wall and demonstrated a few things for us. Eiji especially liked that. By the end of the discussion, we were all standing.
"I must say Kaoru-san, you're one of a kind." I finish jotting down a few things. "Eiji and I will discuss it, there are two other schools we are considering, but I'll be sure to write and inform you."
Kaoru grinned. "That's great!"
I'm curious to something, and I find no harm in asking it. "By the way, Kaoru-san, you don't live here by yourself, do you?"
Kaoru shook her head. "No, Yahiko lives here, and so does Kenshin."
"Kenshin?" Eiji asks.
Kaoru nodded.
"That name sounds really familiar..." Eiji trailed off.
"Is he your..." I continue.
Kaoru lifts both her hands to me. "Oh, no, it's nothing like that."
Eiji suddenly jumps up, scaring me half to death. "Kenshin! He's the samurai!"
Kaoru looked at Eiji, concerned.
"Does he have red hair?!" Eiji raises his voice. I'm not sure whether or not to butt in.
"H-hai." Kaoru answers. "You know him?"
Eiji shakes his head. "I met him in my old town!" He turns to me. "Tokio, I want to enroll here!"
"Nani?" I ask. "Eiji, you can't just decide..."
He shocks both Kaoru and me by getting down on his knees and bowing. "Please Tokio! Onegai! I like this one better than the other two anyway!"
Speechless, I look over at Kaoru, who is speechless as well. Finally, after a moment of consideration, I speak. "Well... I suppose so..."
"YES!" Eiji leaps off the ground like a frog and embraces me tightly.
I speak to Kaoru for a few more minutes before bowing and leaving, Eiji does the same. I get a bit more information from her. She was kind enough to walk both Eiji and I to the gates and see us off. I can tell it's getting late, the mosquitoes are out, and they fly in small groups around the stream outside the dojo.
~
"You really shouldn't put me on the spot like that." I say as we walk up to our gate. "I said we were only looking." I walk slowly because of Kari. Though it's only about 7:00 or 8:00 in the evening, she's tired from today's activities. She's too big for me to carry her comfortably, though I wish I could. Luckily the Mikazukis were kind enough to give her dinner.
"I can't believe it..." Eiji goes on, the awed grin on his face never fading. "Kenshin lives in ~Tokyo~."
"Kenshin?" The name before had confused me, but I didn't think to ask until now. "What's his last name?"
Eiji thinks hard for a moment when we step into the house. "I...can't remember. I asked him, but I can only remember his first name. His last name... the weasel girl said something like Hi...Himo...."
I sigh. I honestly have no clue what he's talking about, though I know it was before he came here. "And what is so special about Kenshin- san?"
Eiji shrugged. "I saw him fight once, it was amazing..."
I don't pursue the matter much further than that, but I'm sure I will tomorrow. I like to think that Eiji will learn Kendo for self discipline and defense like my father and step father had, not for... anything too serious. But since the Bakumatsu ended, I don't worry as much as I used to. But I will admit those soldiers two weeks ago did bring back my paranoia.
I get Kari ready for bed early and read her the story of the Zodiac, one that I haven't told her in a long time. I can't find enough will to clean anything, and with the sunlight slowly disappearing, 'd be scrubbing in the dark. I brainstorm for a while for new activities to do at Seishun Preschool, and eventually go to sleep myself. Saitou doesn't get home until late in the night, and I wake up for a moment to see him. It's hard, but I suppose it's better than when he works the night. It's more dangerous, and he's so tired when he comes home in the morning... I feel terrible when something happens in the day that wakes him up.
The night is peaceful, quiet, calm. The summer crickets sing lightly outside the window, and Saitou sleeps silently at my side.
~
"AAAAAAEEEEEE!!!"
I quickly take Amaya and lift her onto the porch of the preschool while she wails excessively. Her face is red and heavy tears slip down her cheeks and nose.
"Let me see." I instruct, holding out her arm. The obvious red mark gives away where the bee stung her, and a small black speck lies in the center of it.
I carefully rest the girl's arms back down and cup her small face in my hands. "I want you to stay still, okay? I'll be right back."
I hear Amaya crying for her mother as I quickly go inside the building and quickly sprint to my table. I find one of my last few sheets of stiff paper and head back to the door, grabbing the pitcher of water as I go out. Amaya still whines just as I left her, gasping every now and then from the energy she's put into her wailing. I hold her arm out again and very carefully slide the paper across it, getting the black stinger out. I blow it off with a quick puff and run the cold water over the puncture wound. The other children have gathered around all ready, "ooing" and "ahing" at the spectacle. I'm only lucky that there's only an hour left, so she'll be home and in better care soon. After I'm done tending to the bee sting, I send everyone inside, the kids rushing past my legs and into the large room of the school. For the closing lesson I had decided to teach the children a little about gardening and caring for plants, since I planned on doing some gardening of my own once my teaching was over.
Eiji doesn't come after school for Kari and I, since today is one of the days where he has studying of his own to get accomplished. I plan to see him back shortly, though.
~
I pull up a large, pale turnip and brush it off, the specks of dirt falling back onto the soil. I place it in the basket beside me where one more lies. I lift up the leaves carefully on a third, but it doesn't seem ready yet. I scratch an itch under my eye with my wrist so that the dirt doesn't smear on my face.
"What's this?" Kari points, standing around the periphery of the garden. She points to a short, cord-like plant with thin leaves.
"It's a pepper, Kari." I respond, patting down the soil in front of me.
She looks slightly confused. "But pepper doesn't look like that." She says timidly.
I smile at her innocence. "It's a different kind of pepper. It's green, it's shaped like this." I hold my hands together to form what may slightly resemble the vegetable. Kari lifts her hands up and does the same.
"Yes, like that."
Kari studies her hands and giggles. "Like this!" She shows me again. "Mommy, what do we eat today?"
"We," I pause, pulling up a few blades of stray grass near the unripe egg plants, "Are going to have white fish and peas."
"With rice?"
"Yes, with rice."
"I don't like peas." She adds on.
I glance up at her. She still stands, her arms behind her back as she sways her hips back and forth. "You like peas, I've seen you eat them."
"No I don't." She argues back. "I like... peppers."
I shake my head and laugh a bit. She's so adorable... I can't help it.
"Daddy!"
I glance up and Kari runs past me. I can see Saitou coming in from the front gate, and he walks in our direction since Kari got his attention. When she reaches him, she holds her hands together high enough for him to see.
"Look, it's a pepper. I like these." She says.
I'm sure Saitou is bewildered as to what she's talking about, but he rubs the top of her head and smiles. "I see." He says.
I brush my hands off and stand up. "You're home early." I state.
He nods. "I'm not needed for the time being."
I grin inwardly. That's good, I think.
~
I serve out the rice and peas from the large bowl onto everyone's plate, serving myself last, of course. I'm glad that Saitou is able to eat with us, the occasion doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to.
"Eiji, what did you do in school today?" I start the conversation going.
"Ugh, English." He complains. "It's so confusing. One letter sounds like something with one words, and it completely changes with another."
"It's something you have to get used to." I explain, though my English isn't very good either.
"I hate it." Eiji stirs his rice with his chopsticks. "I hope it's not something we start doing a lot."
"With the trade of western countries and industry coming in, it's a good thing to know." Saitou spoke up.
Eiji didn't have anything to say to that, but I smile at Saitou. He's right. I glance over at Kari, who still uses her chopsticks like a spoon. She's barely tall enough to reach the table, and she has to stay on her knees to do so.
"Do you have home work for English?" I look back to Eiji.
"Nah." He responds. "Luckily. I don't have anything to do tonight."
"Saitou," I finally get to speaking to my husband, "how was work?"
Saitou wipes his mouth with a napkin before speaking. "I have to leave for Kyoto again, possibly tomorrow."
I feel my heart stop. Did... did he just say Kyoto? Again? Tomorrow? I sit there, frozen in place. He finally looks at me in my silence, and I force myself to snap back to reality.
"Kyo-Kyoto?" I repeat. "But, you just got back two weeks ago..."
"Kawaji has work up there that still has to be finished." Saitou continues.
I still look on in disbelief. "How long will you be gone?"
Saitou gets more rice on his chopsticks. "I don't know."
~I don't know?~ The words buzz through my head. That's exactly what he said before he left the first time, and he was gone for months. How can I stand him being gone again all ready? If it's not bad enough that I rarely see him anyway, how can he leave for Kyoto ~again?~ And so soon?
He says something else, but I don't hear it. I don't want to. Almost unable to control my body, I stand up from the table, not a word escaping me. I feel everyone's eyes on me, but I don't stop. I simply turn and walk into the kitchen, past the stove and shelves, sliding open the door to the back yard and shutting it the same behind me, not putting any shoes on. I just walk quietly over the grass and past the garden, and I turn around the bathhouse to the back wall. I lean against it and stare off into the air.
I feel like I'm going to cry, but I don't. I'm too angry to cry. How could Kawaji-san send Saitou out again so soon? How could Saitou go? Why does he have to be so dedicated in his work? I know that his work is what provides for our family, but... but...
I slide down the wall onto the grass, sitting with my knees close to my face. He's done this before, left, and come back, but the time with Shishio... the time with ~Kyoto~ had been the longest. Nearly four months... and with the time his work took up, I only got a few letters. Why does it have to bother me so much? After eight years...~eight years...~ why can't I be used to it?
My lip quivers and I cup my hand over it. I don't want to cry. I know I will when he's gone, so I'll save it until then. But I don't want to cry now.
"Tokio!" I hear him call me. I don't know whether I'm glad or angrier that he came after me. Doesn't he realize what this means to me? ~Doesn't he understand how I feel about him?~
I hear the door to the bathhouse open, and then shut. His feet go up and down the steps, and he calls my name again. I want to go to him, but I don't. I hear him go towards the front yard.
I fold my arms on my knees and rest my head on them. I cry silently. "Gomen nasai. I'm too weak..." I mutter.
I jerk my head back and harshly wipe away my tears. Be strong, Tokio, be strong for him. For Kari. As soon as I'm sure my sorrow is hidden from my features, I go back into the house.
~
I put Kari and Eiji to bed, but I find myself unable to sing when Kari asks me to. Eiji tells her that he'll read her a story, so she settles for that. I kiss both of them on the forehead and head back downstairs. The sky is dark again.
I'm not sure where Saitou is, but I hope he bought my fake countenance when he found me shortly after I left. I don't know why I care about him so much.
I pick up one of the rolls near the wall and place it on the hard floors, laying it out smoothly into a bed. I do the same with the second one, a little ways from the first for my own. I get the folded blankets in the corner and fan each one out over the futon, tucking the ends under the mat. Finally I lay the narrow pillows on each one. I may as well just get into my robe and go to sleep.
I get to my feet and head to my dresser, but I walk past it to the glass window. One of the candles rests on the sill, and it flickers as I approach it. I place my hands near it and stare up at the sky, part of it hiding behind the branches of a cherry tree. A few, bright stars twinkle at me. I wonder how far away those stars really are. I reach back and pull a long pin from my hair, sending it down in a loose braid. I take out a few more pins on the side and shake it out. It's still a bit wavy from how I wore it that day. I leave the pins on the sill. As I look back up to the stars, I feel my heart wrenching again.
I jump just a bit when I feel two arms around my shoulders, and I look back to see Saitou. He's still in his uniform, I didn't hear him come in.
"Saitou?" I ask.
"I'm sorry, Tokio." He whispers to me. I can feel his breath on my neck. He's apologizing?
"For what?" I ask, almost as quietly.
Saitou stands up fully, releasing me from his embrace. I turn and face him. He keeps his hands on my shoulders.
"It may be a week, maybe two." He states. "Any longer than that and I'll write you."
This was the side Saitou didn't show very often, even to me. Perhaps my storming off earlier expressed my feeling better than anything else could. I feel my eyes water again, and I can tell that he notices.
"Saitou..." I whisper, not knowing what else to say. His amber eyes grow closer to mine, and his hands move behind me, pushing me very softly forward to him. Our lips meet, and I close my eyes to savour the warmth. A small tear is pushed off my eyelashes, and it slowly trails down the line of my cheek, falling from me before reaching my jaw.
He pulls away and looks at me, but I don't want him to stop. I step closer and lift my hands to his face, lifting myself on my toes to touch him again. There's a mild roughness to his lips, and I push harder against it, tasting it. I know how strange it is for me to be so forward, but I really can't help it.
His gloved hand caresses my neck, and his other one brings me in closer to him. I try to make myself taller to experience more of him, but my balance struggles as it is. Seeing my dilemma, he lowers himself to me, putting more force between us. He breaks off for just a moment to catch his breath before we're linked again. It's so seldom that Saitou can come to me like this...
He pulls me away from the window, slipping by my mouth to place a few gentle kisses on my neck. "Tokio..." He whispers into my ear.
"Please," I say to him, my hands clasped tightly to his shoulders, "Please don't stop..."
I feel one last kiss on my neck before he backs up just enough to reunite our lips. There's a new vigor to how he kisses me now, as if he's trying to make up for any grief, any pain he put me through in his long absence.
My knees buckle from the sensations and I can barely stand anymore. Saito carefully lowers me to the floor so I don't fall.
Oh I love him... more than anything else, I love him...
To Kakashi-fan: You're welcome for the chapters! I can guarantee you more "dreaminess" in this chapter. Actually, what happens here is probably the fluffiest stuff I've ever written, much less posted! *re-reads it* Uck, I can't believe I WROTE that...
To JadeGodddess: Since Kenshin is the only one who knows about Tokio, it could get interesting. I'm not sure what I'll do with that, but the Kenshin-gumi will only be secondary characters!
Also a thank you to Msamandah and Shiro for reading and reviewing!
Chapter 7: Kamiya
I'm shocked to see that a woman runs the place, and she looks much younger than I. She seems surprised to have us visit. Her hair is tied up with a single band, and she's wearing a gi and a pair of hakama pants.
"Konban wa." I bow before her. "This is the Kamiya Dojo, correct?" I read the sign at the door.
The woman nods.
"I've been looking around for a school to enroll Eiji in. Is it all right if we come in?"
At that statement, the girl gets about as excited as Eiji and quickly welcomes us in. The dojo has a domesticated touch to it, and right off the bat I feel comfortable there. The girl takes us into the training room, a long room with smooth wooden floors. Several wooden swords and nameplates line the walls. She sits us down.
"My name is Kamiya Kaoru." She introduces herself, and we return the gesture. "I'm very glad you're interested in our dojo."
I smile. "A waitress down the street told us about it."
Kaoru lights up a bit more. "I'm the assistant director for the Kamiya Kasshin style."
"Kamiya Kasshin?" I repeat. It sounds a bit different.
Kaoru nods. "It's a technique use to protect people, not hurt them. I strongly believe in that."
I listen more. She doesn't give me a sales pitch like the others, but talks person to person.
"Yahiko currently is my only full time student." I catch that sentence as she speaks to us. "Eiji, he looks about your age."
Ah, the bonus arises.
"And you teach all of this?" I inquire.
Kaoru nods with a smile.
"Eiji would need classes in the evening, he has schooling during the day." I explain.
Kaoru nods again. "I can schedule classes whenever possible for about one to three hours, whatever works best. As you can tell, we use wooden swords." She pointed to the wall.
Eiji liked that idea.
Kaoru continued on about the school, and her prices were surprisingly low. At one point she actually picked a bokken off the wall and demonstrated a few things for us. Eiji especially liked that. By the end of the discussion, we were all standing.
"I must say Kaoru-san, you're one of a kind." I finish jotting down a few things. "Eiji and I will discuss it, there are two other schools we are considering, but I'll be sure to write and inform you."
Kaoru grinned. "That's great!"
I'm curious to something, and I find no harm in asking it. "By the way, Kaoru-san, you don't live here by yourself, do you?"
Kaoru shook her head. "No, Yahiko lives here, and so does Kenshin."
"Kenshin?" Eiji asks.
Kaoru nodded.
"That name sounds really familiar..." Eiji trailed off.
"Is he your..." I continue.
Kaoru lifts both her hands to me. "Oh, no, it's nothing like that."
Eiji suddenly jumps up, scaring me half to death. "Kenshin! He's the samurai!"
Kaoru looked at Eiji, concerned.
"Does he have red hair?!" Eiji raises his voice. I'm not sure whether or not to butt in.
"H-hai." Kaoru answers. "You know him?"
Eiji shakes his head. "I met him in my old town!" He turns to me. "Tokio, I want to enroll here!"
"Nani?" I ask. "Eiji, you can't just decide..."
He shocks both Kaoru and me by getting down on his knees and bowing. "Please Tokio! Onegai! I like this one better than the other two anyway!"
Speechless, I look over at Kaoru, who is speechless as well. Finally, after a moment of consideration, I speak. "Well... I suppose so..."
"YES!" Eiji leaps off the ground like a frog and embraces me tightly.
I speak to Kaoru for a few more minutes before bowing and leaving, Eiji does the same. I get a bit more information from her. She was kind enough to walk both Eiji and I to the gates and see us off. I can tell it's getting late, the mosquitoes are out, and they fly in small groups around the stream outside the dojo.
~
"You really shouldn't put me on the spot like that." I say as we walk up to our gate. "I said we were only looking." I walk slowly because of Kari. Though it's only about 7:00 or 8:00 in the evening, she's tired from today's activities. She's too big for me to carry her comfortably, though I wish I could. Luckily the Mikazukis were kind enough to give her dinner.
"I can't believe it..." Eiji goes on, the awed grin on his face never fading. "Kenshin lives in ~Tokyo~."
"Kenshin?" The name before had confused me, but I didn't think to ask until now. "What's his last name?"
Eiji thinks hard for a moment when we step into the house. "I...can't remember. I asked him, but I can only remember his first name. His last name... the weasel girl said something like Hi...Himo...."
I sigh. I honestly have no clue what he's talking about, though I know it was before he came here. "And what is so special about Kenshin- san?"
Eiji shrugged. "I saw him fight once, it was amazing..."
I don't pursue the matter much further than that, but I'm sure I will tomorrow. I like to think that Eiji will learn Kendo for self discipline and defense like my father and step father had, not for... anything too serious. But since the Bakumatsu ended, I don't worry as much as I used to. But I will admit those soldiers two weeks ago did bring back my paranoia.
I get Kari ready for bed early and read her the story of the Zodiac, one that I haven't told her in a long time. I can't find enough will to clean anything, and with the sunlight slowly disappearing, 'd be scrubbing in the dark. I brainstorm for a while for new activities to do at Seishun Preschool, and eventually go to sleep myself. Saitou doesn't get home until late in the night, and I wake up for a moment to see him. It's hard, but I suppose it's better than when he works the night. It's more dangerous, and he's so tired when he comes home in the morning... I feel terrible when something happens in the day that wakes him up.
The night is peaceful, quiet, calm. The summer crickets sing lightly outside the window, and Saitou sleeps silently at my side.
~
"AAAAAAEEEEEE!!!"
I quickly take Amaya and lift her onto the porch of the preschool while she wails excessively. Her face is red and heavy tears slip down her cheeks and nose.
"Let me see." I instruct, holding out her arm. The obvious red mark gives away where the bee stung her, and a small black speck lies in the center of it.
I carefully rest the girl's arms back down and cup her small face in my hands. "I want you to stay still, okay? I'll be right back."
I hear Amaya crying for her mother as I quickly go inside the building and quickly sprint to my table. I find one of my last few sheets of stiff paper and head back to the door, grabbing the pitcher of water as I go out. Amaya still whines just as I left her, gasping every now and then from the energy she's put into her wailing. I hold her arm out again and very carefully slide the paper across it, getting the black stinger out. I blow it off with a quick puff and run the cold water over the puncture wound. The other children have gathered around all ready, "ooing" and "ahing" at the spectacle. I'm only lucky that there's only an hour left, so she'll be home and in better care soon. After I'm done tending to the bee sting, I send everyone inside, the kids rushing past my legs and into the large room of the school. For the closing lesson I had decided to teach the children a little about gardening and caring for plants, since I planned on doing some gardening of my own once my teaching was over.
Eiji doesn't come after school for Kari and I, since today is one of the days where he has studying of his own to get accomplished. I plan to see him back shortly, though.
~
I pull up a large, pale turnip and brush it off, the specks of dirt falling back onto the soil. I place it in the basket beside me where one more lies. I lift up the leaves carefully on a third, but it doesn't seem ready yet. I scratch an itch under my eye with my wrist so that the dirt doesn't smear on my face.
"What's this?" Kari points, standing around the periphery of the garden. She points to a short, cord-like plant with thin leaves.
"It's a pepper, Kari." I respond, patting down the soil in front of me.
She looks slightly confused. "But pepper doesn't look like that." She says timidly.
I smile at her innocence. "It's a different kind of pepper. It's green, it's shaped like this." I hold my hands together to form what may slightly resemble the vegetable. Kari lifts her hands up and does the same.
"Yes, like that."
Kari studies her hands and giggles. "Like this!" She shows me again. "Mommy, what do we eat today?"
"We," I pause, pulling up a few blades of stray grass near the unripe egg plants, "Are going to have white fish and peas."
"With rice?"
"Yes, with rice."
"I don't like peas." She adds on.
I glance up at her. She still stands, her arms behind her back as she sways her hips back and forth. "You like peas, I've seen you eat them."
"No I don't." She argues back. "I like... peppers."
I shake my head and laugh a bit. She's so adorable... I can't help it.
"Daddy!"
I glance up and Kari runs past me. I can see Saitou coming in from the front gate, and he walks in our direction since Kari got his attention. When she reaches him, she holds her hands together high enough for him to see.
"Look, it's a pepper. I like these." She says.
I'm sure Saitou is bewildered as to what she's talking about, but he rubs the top of her head and smiles. "I see." He says.
I brush my hands off and stand up. "You're home early." I state.
He nods. "I'm not needed for the time being."
I grin inwardly. That's good, I think.
~
I serve out the rice and peas from the large bowl onto everyone's plate, serving myself last, of course. I'm glad that Saitou is able to eat with us, the occasion doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to.
"Eiji, what did you do in school today?" I start the conversation going.
"Ugh, English." He complains. "It's so confusing. One letter sounds like something with one words, and it completely changes with another."
"It's something you have to get used to." I explain, though my English isn't very good either.
"I hate it." Eiji stirs his rice with his chopsticks. "I hope it's not something we start doing a lot."
"With the trade of western countries and industry coming in, it's a good thing to know." Saitou spoke up.
Eiji didn't have anything to say to that, but I smile at Saitou. He's right. I glance over at Kari, who still uses her chopsticks like a spoon. She's barely tall enough to reach the table, and she has to stay on her knees to do so.
"Do you have home work for English?" I look back to Eiji.
"Nah." He responds. "Luckily. I don't have anything to do tonight."
"Saitou," I finally get to speaking to my husband, "how was work?"
Saitou wipes his mouth with a napkin before speaking. "I have to leave for Kyoto again, possibly tomorrow."
I feel my heart stop. Did... did he just say Kyoto? Again? Tomorrow? I sit there, frozen in place. He finally looks at me in my silence, and I force myself to snap back to reality.
"Kyo-Kyoto?" I repeat. "But, you just got back two weeks ago..."
"Kawaji has work up there that still has to be finished." Saitou continues.
I still look on in disbelief. "How long will you be gone?"
Saitou gets more rice on his chopsticks. "I don't know."
~I don't know?~ The words buzz through my head. That's exactly what he said before he left the first time, and he was gone for months. How can I stand him being gone again all ready? If it's not bad enough that I rarely see him anyway, how can he leave for Kyoto ~again?~ And so soon?
He says something else, but I don't hear it. I don't want to. Almost unable to control my body, I stand up from the table, not a word escaping me. I feel everyone's eyes on me, but I don't stop. I simply turn and walk into the kitchen, past the stove and shelves, sliding open the door to the back yard and shutting it the same behind me, not putting any shoes on. I just walk quietly over the grass and past the garden, and I turn around the bathhouse to the back wall. I lean against it and stare off into the air.
I feel like I'm going to cry, but I don't. I'm too angry to cry. How could Kawaji-san send Saitou out again so soon? How could Saitou go? Why does he have to be so dedicated in his work? I know that his work is what provides for our family, but... but...
I slide down the wall onto the grass, sitting with my knees close to my face. He's done this before, left, and come back, but the time with Shishio... the time with ~Kyoto~ had been the longest. Nearly four months... and with the time his work took up, I only got a few letters. Why does it have to bother me so much? After eight years...~eight years...~ why can't I be used to it?
My lip quivers and I cup my hand over it. I don't want to cry. I know I will when he's gone, so I'll save it until then. But I don't want to cry now.
"Tokio!" I hear him call me. I don't know whether I'm glad or angrier that he came after me. Doesn't he realize what this means to me? ~Doesn't he understand how I feel about him?~
I hear the door to the bathhouse open, and then shut. His feet go up and down the steps, and he calls my name again. I want to go to him, but I don't. I hear him go towards the front yard.
I fold my arms on my knees and rest my head on them. I cry silently. "Gomen nasai. I'm too weak..." I mutter.
I jerk my head back and harshly wipe away my tears. Be strong, Tokio, be strong for him. For Kari. As soon as I'm sure my sorrow is hidden from my features, I go back into the house.
~
I put Kari and Eiji to bed, but I find myself unable to sing when Kari asks me to. Eiji tells her that he'll read her a story, so she settles for that. I kiss both of them on the forehead and head back downstairs. The sky is dark again.
I'm not sure where Saitou is, but I hope he bought my fake countenance when he found me shortly after I left. I don't know why I care about him so much.
I pick up one of the rolls near the wall and place it on the hard floors, laying it out smoothly into a bed. I do the same with the second one, a little ways from the first for my own. I get the folded blankets in the corner and fan each one out over the futon, tucking the ends under the mat. Finally I lay the narrow pillows on each one. I may as well just get into my robe and go to sleep.
I get to my feet and head to my dresser, but I walk past it to the glass window. One of the candles rests on the sill, and it flickers as I approach it. I place my hands near it and stare up at the sky, part of it hiding behind the branches of a cherry tree. A few, bright stars twinkle at me. I wonder how far away those stars really are. I reach back and pull a long pin from my hair, sending it down in a loose braid. I take out a few more pins on the side and shake it out. It's still a bit wavy from how I wore it that day. I leave the pins on the sill. As I look back up to the stars, I feel my heart wrenching again.
I jump just a bit when I feel two arms around my shoulders, and I look back to see Saitou. He's still in his uniform, I didn't hear him come in.
"Saitou?" I ask.
"I'm sorry, Tokio." He whispers to me. I can feel his breath on my neck. He's apologizing?
"For what?" I ask, almost as quietly.
Saitou stands up fully, releasing me from his embrace. I turn and face him. He keeps his hands on my shoulders.
"It may be a week, maybe two." He states. "Any longer than that and I'll write you."
This was the side Saitou didn't show very often, even to me. Perhaps my storming off earlier expressed my feeling better than anything else could. I feel my eyes water again, and I can tell that he notices.
"Saitou..." I whisper, not knowing what else to say. His amber eyes grow closer to mine, and his hands move behind me, pushing me very softly forward to him. Our lips meet, and I close my eyes to savour the warmth. A small tear is pushed off my eyelashes, and it slowly trails down the line of my cheek, falling from me before reaching my jaw.
He pulls away and looks at me, but I don't want him to stop. I step closer and lift my hands to his face, lifting myself on my toes to touch him again. There's a mild roughness to his lips, and I push harder against it, tasting it. I know how strange it is for me to be so forward, but I really can't help it.
His gloved hand caresses my neck, and his other one brings me in closer to him. I try to make myself taller to experience more of him, but my balance struggles as it is. Seeing my dilemma, he lowers himself to me, putting more force between us. He breaks off for just a moment to catch his breath before we're linked again. It's so seldom that Saitou can come to me like this...
He pulls me away from the window, slipping by my mouth to place a few gentle kisses on my neck. "Tokio..." He whispers into my ear.
"Please," I say to him, my hands clasped tightly to his shoulders, "Please don't stop..."
I feel one last kiss on my neck before he backs up just enough to reunite our lips. There's a new vigor to how he kisses me now, as if he's trying to make up for any grief, any pain he put me through in his long absence.
My knees buckle from the sensations and I can barely stand anymore. Saito carefully lowers me to the floor so I don't fall.
Oh I love him... more than anything else, I love him...