Hey all! Here is Chapter 4, in which Hagrid and Firenze recognize their true love for each other.
I understand that, even for a slash fanfic, this one is gonna get weird.
They will make weird babies! (Author requires a biology lesson on how offspring are formed)
Firenze trotted through the forest. He thoroughly enjoyed this, but he missed something.
The soft touch of a mare.
All of a sudden, Hagrid comes crashing out of the woods. He seems to be missing his clothes. (Bad images…author considers gouging eyes out with a plastic spork)
"AHHHH!" he shouted. "I lost all my clothes and my tent over a cliff! Can I stay with you for the night?" (Most of you will know where this is going by now OO)
"Yes."
Well, Firenze would have to settle for the soft touch of a half-giant tonight.
"You know Hagrid, I have to tell you something."
"I know that you aren't a human, if that's what you're getting at."
"What? No, I mean that I love you."
"Really? Me too!"
They snog, and things get seriously ugly, and then they fall in a lake, still doing…things…and they live…I mean…yeah…
Well, this one was short, so I'll give you a double chappie since I love you all so much 3
Ernie was trudging through the forest…when he bumped into…
"Eloise! I thought you were in Montana with the other girls!"
"Ernie! I have to tell you something."
"What? And, why are you in Wyoming?"
"I…I…I'm…This may come as a shock…but…Ernie…I'm…I'm…"
Ernie slaps her to get her to snap back to reality.
"I'm…a man."
"Well, that doesn't really surprise me."
"Really?"
"No, not really."
"Well, I have something else to tell you."
"What?"
"I love you."
"I love you too!"
(Insert your own gruesome love scene)
(Insert your own tragic death)
/ (Get it? Slashslashslashslash…bwahaha)