A/N: Reviews appreciated. This fic was a little darker than I expected—in a mild way, of course. Oh yeah, don't own the O.C. – Don't sue me thanks.
Summary: Kaitlin just wants the attention her sister has. Where's the harm in that, right? Oneshot.
All
Eyes On Me
By Justlikeyou
Nine. That's the age I realized I wasn't the star anymore. Wasn't their star. Sure, my parents threw me gigantic birthday parties with endless supplies of gifts—but Marissa…Marissa always managed to get 100+ guests. Even at age twelve! She'd always be popular because of her good looks, fashion, and personality. And I envied her. Almost.
She didn't know all the bad things her friends said behind her back. She had no clue. Sure, her best friend Summer knew all—but even she kept things from her. I bet Marissa never knew about the one guy Summer had also liked and kissed when Marissa liked him too. Secrets don't make friends, but apparently—friends do make secrets.
Was it desire or envy that these girls wanted? They all wanted Luke Ward as their boyfriend, all wanted her style, her hair, her eyes…everyone wanted to be her. I constantly asked myself why…she was just my dorky big sister who constantly wore sweatpants with no makeup whenever people weren't around and watched cartoons with me on Saturday mornings, even if they were extremely immature and childish. She laughed with me.
As I grew older, I began to see why everyone wanted to be just like her. So I began to copy her—making myself develop a crush on Luke…started wearing makeup. All of it. But of course, none of it worked. I was just little horseback-riding Kaitlin Cooper. I desperately wanted to change that image. That image made me sick.
When boarding school rolled around, I was at ease with the prospect of leaving my all-too-perfect big sister. At boarding school, I was a whole different person. It was almost like I was their Marissa. Their queen bee. That is, before everyone found out about my mom's financial situation. But enough about that. I'm still on top.
When I heard about how much Marissa had fucked up while I had been gone, all my pseudo-sympathy floated away and was replaced with satisfaction. And it was a little sick. Just a little.
Did I care? Not really. This was my big chance. My chance to point out how much of a better daughter I was…because all I've ever wanted was the spotlight. All I ever wanted was to be loved like her. To have all eyes on me.