Author's note: I'm so sorry for the late update, I have the next 2 chapters done, but I've been lazy in editing them. I'll Chapter 10 up soon! Thank you to all reviewers, I got a lot for chapter 8!
To Mysterio000: You like how I portray the relationship? I'm glad to hear that, sometimes I get picky with myself.
To Alice: I will agree with you that it's very boring at first, so only the dedicated readers will go on! Thank you for your review.
To JadeGoddess: Is she sick or pregnant? That will be answered in the first few paragraphs of this!
To Huskie: The story does get better from the first few chapters, in several ways, really. Thanks for giving me credit. :)
To Dawningtwilite: Thanks for the encouragment, I'll get working on more chapters!
To Kakshi-fan: Yes, I meant to say Eiji practices with his brother's katana, my mistake! Thank you for your review, I think it was actually the longest one I got.
Chapter 9: A Taste of Hell
"What is... this feeling? Almost like pain, but something's different. I can tell it's summer, it's so hot... and so humid... the air is so thick, I can't breathe...
"...Why is it so hot...?"
- - -
My eyes open, and a shockwave of intense pain runs from my eyes and throughout my head. I shut them tightly, and a deep, rigid cough forces its way from my lungs.
"Tokio, Tokio!" A familiar voice calls me.
I try to breathe, but the air is so condensed that I choke. A forceful cough churns up again, escaping bitterly from my mouth. I try to open my eyes again, but I only can to the point where the color of my iris is barely visible. Everything around me is blurry... and I can't move. My arms feel so heavy...
"Keichirou-san, she's awake!" That same voices calls.
I feel something lift off my forehead and a hand replace it. "Tokio- san, can you hear me?"
I want him to take his hand away... it's so hot... it's burning my skin. I force my eyes a bit wider. The image moves in and out of focus. "Mu...ra..." I can't finish the name. My throat, it's closed... I can't breathe...
Somehow I roll onto one of my shoulders and cough again, gasping for oxygen as though I had just run an entire kilometer without stopping. I try to look around a little more. How can I be in my bedroom with this heat? And the sun... it's so bright... it can't possibly be morning.
Another warm hand grasps me and pulls me again onto my back. I feel cold relief heavily drop onto my forehead... a rag, or something. I can make out the general shapes of the man hovering over me... the blue uniform- -he's a police officer.
"You finally woke..." He says to me, opening up some sort of bag.
I can't take it. It's so hot... I can feel the sweat on my face. I need a fan, something. I can't take it... For a moment's glance I wonder why Muraki-san and Keichirou Shiba are with me, but I can't concentrate. I just want to run away before I burn up. These blankets, they're so heavy. It's like a furnace...
I interlock a hand with a wad of fabric and yank it down, trying my best to remove the sheets of cotton from my body. Instantly I feel my shoulders forced down. By who, I cannot tell. The blankets return to their original positioning.
"Ya...me..." I can barely hear my own voice.
"Please stay still, Tokio-san." Keichirou informs me. A hand touches my cheek. I pull away from it; the fingers feel like fire. I try to grip the blankets again, but I can't get a hold of them. My fingers won't close.
I close my eyes again, wishing I'd fall asleep. I can't see anyone around me, make out their expression, tell what they're doing, but I can hear them speak.
"No good, Muraki-san. It's worse than I thought. We need to get a better doctor in here."
"Nan ka? Tokio..."
I received a nudge to my shoulder. It's a light tap, but in a few seconds I suddenly feel as though I was hit or bruised.
"Tokio!"
That was a new voice. I want to open my eyes, but my body is moving against my will. Oh heaven, I can't breathe....
"Tokio!" The voice repeats. I know that voice. Is it... Eiji?
I don't hear anyone quiet him, but his calls decease.
"Another doctor? What is it?"
"I don't know, but... the symptoms..."
I'm going to boil. I peek my eyes just barely, seeing only the shadows of light. With all my might I kick my legs up into the air, trying desperately to push the sheets off. I hear my name, then the blankets placed back on me, and tucked in firmly at my side. Please... take them off... I'll die...
"Fever?"
"Yes, that's it, mostly. However, by examining her I can suppose... it may be... well, it would be a rare case, and I wouldn't be sure where she could have acquired it from..."
I'm beginning to not understand what they're saying. "Ya...me..." I barely whisper again. The cloth of my forehead is too hot now, like someone boiled it in water before handing it to me. I shake my head to knock it off. I succeed, and the cool air hits my face.
"Malaria?" I finally tune back into the voice, opening my eyes again.
"Please, another doctor, we need one right away."
"Na..." I try to ask, but I'm not even able to finish the word. Someone leaves, I hear the loud pounding of steps on the floor.
"Tokio-san," The rag hits my forehead again, "Are you coherent?"
I swallow hard. "Na..." The word just won't come out. "Na..."
"You wouldn't wake. You have a very high fever. I'm sorry, but I must keep the blankets on you."
The voice is Keichirou-san's, I can finally differentiate it again. He must have known what I was trying to say, since he continues explaining.
"Your son came into our station this morning. We came here, and this is the first you've been conscious today." There's a pause. "I'm going to give you some water, all right?"
This morning? How long have I been asleep?
My heart jumps as my head is suddenly lifted off the floor, and I feel something hard against my bottom lip. Just a bit of cold water flows into my mouth. I swallow best I can, but my throat squeezes shut with every motion. Relentless, it gives some relief to me. More water comes, but my throat won't open.
Get it out, I can't breathe. I start to feel like I'm going to drown...
Another forceful cough releases from my throat, and the water in my mouth disperses, replaced with hallow oxygen. I suddenly feel as though I was spinning, and though I'm still laying down, I'm sure I'm going to fall. My head sinks back to the pillow, and the sensation stops.
It's quiet now, and I rest my eyes. Something splashes into a bowl of water beside me, and in a minute the rag is on my forehead again, cool and inviting. The cold seems to make the heat surround my eyes again, and...
- - -
When I open my eyes again, the room is a bit dimmer. I don't remember falling asleep, but I've woken up. My body is still an inferno, and I want nothing more but to escape my own skin. I don't ever recall being ill like this before. I've had fevers, but not so much that is engulfs my entire body in flames. My neck and shoulders are pasted with a dull pain, and the floor beneath me is hard and uncomfortable.
Kari... where's Kari? And Eiji? I want to get up, I have to get up... but my body refuses my will...
I feel a quick, sharp pain in my left shoulder, and I glance over to see two blurry images beside me. Keichirou-san, he's one of them, and... I'm not sure who the other is. He wears white. He is the one at my arm. Whatever caused the pain, a needle, I think, slowly pulls out of my skin, and the area is swabbed down.
"Can you decipher it yet?" Keichirou Shiba's voice asks.
The other man's face, which is slowly clearing, shakes. "I will agree with you, young man, that she does show the symptoms of Malaria. However, I can't be sure." His hand touches my neck. "But whatever it is, she is ill. I doubt she can ever understand what we're saying." He looks at my eyes.
"Ka..." I try my hardest to speak, "Kari..."
"Kari?" He repeats.
"Her daughter. She and the boy are at the station, currently." Keichirou responds.
"Where is the father?"
"He's with the force, away in Kyoto since yesterday morning."
There is a pause, and I try to swallow. That action alone makes me realize how thirsty I am.
"She needs constant care, and I can prescribe something, for now. I will check by tomorrow, for sure. The children may stay here, but not in this room, and not by themselves."
"Hai, I supposed as much." Keichirou-san replies.
I watch the doctor get up, his form towering over me. Keichirou does the same, and they walk out of my current line of vision. I experience a quick coughing fit, and once I'm settled down again, I hear them talking quietly. The sliding door opens, and one leaves.
Eventually Keichirou returns and kneels at my side again. The rag on my forehead is lifted off and is replaced by his hand once again.
"Gomen nasai, Tokio. I don't know how you became sick... We will do our best to help you recover in Saitou's absence. I will see to it that a letter gets to him, and perhaps he can return to Tokyo early."
I don't hear much more of that. Why, I don't know. Before I fall back into the world of sleep, however, I receive a much-needed drink. I want to see Kari, but I cannot even ask for her. Soon I doze off again, not sure when I'll reawake.
-x-x-
-"Ha!" Kari calls out, smiling. She topples over onto the ground, the balance of walking not quite implanted in her frail legs yet.
I laugh, sitting under the shade of a tree. My legs are out before me, covered with the fabric of a red kimono. Kari struggles to get back up, her behind high in the air, fingers touching the ground. She succeeds, and continues walking shakily towards where we are. She's about to fall again, but Saitou manages to grab onto her before she does. Kari laughs. Sometimes I wonder where all of her cheerfulness comes from, even if she is just a toddler.
Saitou picks her up gently and brings her closer to him, her bare feet balancing on his thighs as he supports her. He smiles at her, and she returns the gesture, trying to bat at his face with one of her small hands.
I squint and look up. The sun starts to shine through the leaves of the tree, taking away the shade. Its light goes from warm to scolding, and I try to shield myself from it.
It's so hot... so hot...-
-x -x -
I wake up on my side, in the day. I've either been asleep for a very short time, or I was able to sleep through the entire length of the night. My face is damp and sticky where it connects with the pillow, and strands of my bangs are stuck to my forehead. It's still hard to breath, the air is stuffy, and I can tell that my sinuses are congested. The heat around my face and torso is unbearable.
"Tokio?"
I roll slowly onto my back and glance over. I see Eiji kneeling beside me, his outline only slightly out of focus. I don't say anything, since I'm not sure if I can.
"Are you still sick, Tokio?" His young voice questions me. "Tokio?"
"Eiji, is she awake?" A senior voice asks. Eiji blocks the doorway, but I think I know who it is.
"Hai." He says, getting up. "She won't talk, though."
"That's fine. Go tend to Kari, you know you shouldn't be in here."
That sentence ensures me to who it is--Muraki-san. Several of the men on the police force who know us are aware that Eiji is not a family relation, and tend not to refer to Kari as his sister.
Muraki walks over, placing a small tray at my side. "I'm aware that it may be hard for you to eat, Tokio, but I need you to try."
I don't want it. The last thing that torments me is hunger, and I have no appetite. I want to sleep. When I sleep, I don't feel the fever, the pain, the pressure. All I want to do is rest until I heal, so I turn away from what Muraki offers me.
I hear him sigh. His fingers touch my cheekbone, then pull away for a moment to remove the glove that covers them. He then touches my face again.
"Dear God... Tokio, you're burning up..."
Like so many times before, a cold, wet cloth is placed over my forehead, but this time another one is placed on the top of my chest, right under my collarbone. I'm very glad for this. Why they don't just drop me into a bath of ice water, I don't know. But right now, I wish they would.
My head is tilted up for some water, and luckily I'm able to drink a bit more than the day before. At least I assume it was the day before. Time is so warped to me, I'm not even sure whether it is morning or evening.
I don't get my wish. I end up lying on my futon for most of the day, remaining in the realm of being constantly half-awake. The fever comes in waves, I discover, at times being mild, and then suddenly rising to being unbelievably intense. Muraki stops in often, though he doesn't actually enter into the room every time. Eiji visits secretly two more times that day, but I still haven't seen Kari, and no one will tell me what she's been doing. The doctor comes in as well, but he doesn't do anything to help my suffering. Seishun Preschool also drifts into my mind, and I wonder what is happening with that.
I feel guilty when I remember telling Eiji I would take him to the Kamiya Dojo. Was that today?
I don't sleep until the sky darkens, and when I do, I'm grateful.
- - -
The next few days go on all the same, my illness getting to the point, on several occasions, that I wish it would just kill me. Keichirou Shiba finally appears again to check on me. I notice now that whenever I'm able to get a drink, something has been mixed in with it. Medicine, most likely. On his visit today, I overhear him tell Muraki-san that Saitou has replied to his letter, but he is unable to leave his work in Kyoto. That's all I hear of him, and I wish direly that I could know what else was in the letter, if anything. I truly enter the depths of hell when my own loneliness blends in with the horror of my ailment.
It changes on the morning of my fifth, sixth, possibly even seventh day of my illness. I wake up ice cold, my limbs feeling frozen, and my shoulders shivering. The blankets that once surrounded me with scorching heat now did nothing to warm my chilled body. The other doctor is called to me again and prescribes something else, and tells Muraki, who has become my official caretaker for some reason, that I need to drink a lot of liquids. He does not do anything to provide me with any warmth other than an extra blanket, for fear that my fever will return. I go about four days in this state, or at least I believe it to be four days, from what I see of the sun through my window when I'm conscious. After the phase finally leaves me, my fever returns, though not quite to the sweltering anxiety I remember it being. More than a fever, however, is the profuse sweating I go through. I drink much more water, and I wake up constantly damp, my night robe sticking to my body. The summer heat and humidity makes it worse, and there is no relief in sight.
I do get some consolation, however.
"Tokio?" Muraki quietly say my name.
I open my eyes. I wasn't sleeping, just... resting. A bead of sweat rolls off my forehead as I adjust and look over, breathing only through my mouth. I faintly smile at what I see.
"Kari..." I whisper.
Kari is near the verge of tears, and she runs from Muraki's light hold and collapses at my side, putting her tiny arms around my shoulders. Her touch is uncomfortable, but I bear it. I weakly raise my hand and stroke it down her short, bobbed hair. I'm glad to see that she is all right and taken care of.
"You're all wet..." She speaks into my neck. I'm not sure how to respond to that.
Eventually she lifts her head and stares at me, droplets on the corners of her big, green eyes. "Mommy, are you really sick?" She asks timidly.
I shake my head, still stroking her hair. "Iie, Kari." I reassure her quietly, "Mommy will be better very soon."
Kari sniffs a few times. "Yakusoku?" Her voice quivers.
I stop short at that word. It's one simple word, but I'm not sure how to answer it. I glance up at Muraki, who stands quietly by the door. Yakusoku? Promise?
"Hai." I finally answer. "I promise."
Shortly after that Muraki retrieves her, I suppose it's because her exposure to me could be damaging. She cries mildly when he escorts her out of the room, and I have to struggle to keep back my own tears. Kari, however, presents me with a light of hope. I know I must get better now, for her. I've never broken a promise, and I never will.
For two days Keichirou-san comes to look after me. By the time Muraki returns, my fever has gone down, and the sweating has stopped. I'm not well yet, but I start healing enough that my outlook is good. After about three, full weeks of the ailment, I am able to sit up in bed to eat some and drink, though on occasion I have needed someone to assist me to get upright. Once my fever has relaxed, I'm mostly left with the steady feeling of weakness. I did try to stand, once, and the dizzy sensation that surrounded me was so intense that I fell back to the ground within seconds. After that I was reminded to stay in bed. I rest for a good portion of the day, trying to gain back my strength. Kari and Eiji are allowed to see me more, but they still cannot visit freely.
And so I sleep again. I don't remember what I dream about, but I think it was peaceful. I enjoy dreams like that. I think I slept for quite some time... three hours approximately when my nap ends, since my room had a dim blue lighting to it, telling me the sun is going down. I yawn a bit, the fatigue of my illness still lying with me. I do think that I'm strong enough to sit up for a drink, or at least I believe that I still have water in the cup by my bedside. I turn my head to reach for it, and find myself reaching for a katana instead.
I gasp. I trail my eyes upward. I can't believe what I'm seeing.
He's there. Saitou sits beside me, facing the same way that I am. He still wears his uniform, his sword beside him. One of his knees is bent, and his elbow leans against it, his face in his hand. His eyes are closed too.
How... how long has he been home? How long has he been... there?
I watch him closely. He seems peaceful, yet there is a look on his resting expression that seems unsure. My eyes start to water involuntarily. I'm so happy... to finally see him...
"Saitou..." I whisper.
His eyes slowly open, so he wasn't asleep. He lowers his knee a little and looks over at me. The faintest... smallest smile forms on his lips.
"Tokio... Are you feeling well?" He asks a bit quietly.
A tear escapes the very corner of my eye, and I smile a bit. "Hai." I answer.
His hand brushes a strand of my dark hair away from my face. "I'm sorry, I could not come any sooner."
"It's all right." I reply weakly. "I was taken care of."
He turns a bit more towards me, and his thumb caresses over my cheekbone a few times. I notice he has all ready taken his glove off. His amber eyes watch me silently for what feels like a long time. I place my hand over his, so grateful to feel his touch again. It seems like eternity since I last saw him. I'm about to speak, but he beats me to it.
"You should continue to rest, Tokio." He informs me. "You need to regain your strength."
I nod, still holding his hand. "Hai."
Slowly he leans over and lightly kisses my forehead. He speaks again as he pulls back. "I'll watch over you." He adds in his usual serious voice.
I release his hand. "Oyasumi." I whisper.
Surprisingly, it doesn't take me too long to fall asleep, or at least dwell in a deep rest. The thought of Saitou home, with me, calms me into a peaceful slumber.
And it gives me the last few threads of strength I need to recover.
To Mysterio000: You like how I portray the relationship? I'm glad to hear that, sometimes I get picky with myself.
To Alice: I will agree with you that it's very boring at first, so only the dedicated readers will go on! Thank you for your review.
To JadeGoddess: Is she sick or pregnant? That will be answered in the first few paragraphs of this!
To Huskie: The story does get better from the first few chapters, in several ways, really. Thanks for giving me credit. :)
To Dawningtwilite: Thanks for the encouragment, I'll get working on more chapters!
To Kakshi-fan: Yes, I meant to say Eiji practices with his brother's katana, my mistake! Thank you for your review, I think it was actually the longest one I got.
Chapter 9: A Taste of Hell
"What is... this feeling? Almost like pain, but something's different. I can tell it's summer, it's so hot... and so humid... the air is so thick, I can't breathe...
"...Why is it so hot...?"
- - -
My eyes open, and a shockwave of intense pain runs from my eyes and throughout my head. I shut them tightly, and a deep, rigid cough forces its way from my lungs.
"Tokio, Tokio!" A familiar voice calls me.
I try to breathe, but the air is so condensed that I choke. A forceful cough churns up again, escaping bitterly from my mouth. I try to open my eyes again, but I only can to the point where the color of my iris is barely visible. Everything around me is blurry... and I can't move. My arms feel so heavy...
"Keichirou-san, she's awake!" That same voices calls.
I feel something lift off my forehead and a hand replace it. "Tokio- san, can you hear me?"
I want him to take his hand away... it's so hot... it's burning my skin. I force my eyes a bit wider. The image moves in and out of focus. "Mu...ra..." I can't finish the name. My throat, it's closed... I can't breathe...
Somehow I roll onto one of my shoulders and cough again, gasping for oxygen as though I had just run an entire kilometer without stopping. I try to look around a little more. How can I be in my bedroom with this heat? And the sun... it's so bright... it can't possibly be morning.
Another warm hand grasps me and pulls me again onto my back. I feel cold relief heavily drop onto my forehead... a rag, or something. I can make out the general shapes of the man hovering over me... the blue uniform- -he's a police officer.
"You finally woke..." He says to me, opening up some sort of bag.
I can't take it. It's so hot... I can feel the sweat on my face. I need a fan, something. I can't take it... For a moment's glance I wonder why Muraki-san and Keichirou Shiba are with me, but I can't concentrate. I just want to run away before I burn up. These blankets, they're so heavy. It's like a furnace...
I interlock a hand with a wad of fabric and yank it down, trying my best to remove the sheets of cotton from my body. Instantly I feel my shoulders forced down. By who, I cannot tell. The blankets return to their original positioning.
"Ya...me..." I can barely hear my own voice.
"Please stay still, Tokio-san." Keichirou informs me. A hand touches my cheek. I pull away from it; the fingers feel like fire. I try to grip the blankets again, but I can't get a hold of them. My fingers won't close.
I close my eyes again, wishing I'd fall asleep. I can't see anyone around me, make out their expression, tell what they're doing, but I can hear them speak.
"No good, Muraki-san. It's worse than I thought. We need to get a better doctor in here."
"Nan ka? Tokio..."
I received a nudge to my shoulder. It's a light tap, but in a few seconds I suddenly feel as though I was hit or bruised.
"Tokio!"
That was a new voice. I want to open my eyes, but my body is moving against my will. Oh heaven, I can't breathe....
"Tokio!" The voice repeats. I know that voice. Is it... Eiji?
I don't hear anyone quiet him, but his calls decease.
"Another doctor? What is it?"
"I don't know, but... the symptoms..."
I'm going to boil. I peek my eyes just barely, seeing only the shadows of light. With all my might I kick my legs up into the air, trying desperately to push the sheets off. I hear my name, then the blankets placed back on me, and tucked in firmly at my side. Please... take them off... I'll die...
"Fever?"
"Yes, that's it, mostly. However, by examining her I can suppose... it may be... well, it would be a rare case, and I wouldn't be sure where she could have acquired it from..."
I'm beginning to not understand what they're saying. "Ya...me..." I barely whisper again. The cloth of my forehead is too hot now, like someone boiled it in water before handing it to me. I shake my head to knock it off. I succeed, and the cool air hits my face.
"Malaria?" I finally tune back into the voice, opening my eyes again.
"Please, another doctor, we need one right away."
"Na..." I try to ask, but I'm not even able to finish the word. Someone leaves, I hear the loud pounding of steps on the floor.
"Tokio-san," The rag hits my forehead again, "Are you coherent?"
I swallow hard. "Na..." The word just won't come out. "Na..."
"You wouldn't wake. You have a very high fever. I'm sorry, but I must keep the blankets on you."
The voice is Keichirou-san's, I can finally differentiate it again. He must have known what I was trying to say, since he continues explaining.
"Your son came into our station this morning. We came here, and this is the first you've been conscious today." There's a pause. "I'm going to give you some water, all right?"
This morning? How long have I been asleep?
My heart jumps as my head is suddenly lifted off the floor, and I feel something hard against my bottom lip. Just a bit of cold water flows into my mouth. I swallow best I can, but my throat squeezes shut with every motion. Relentless, it gives some relief to me. More water comes, but my throat won't open.
Get it out, I can't breathe. I start to feel like I'm going to drown...
Another forceful cough releases from my throat, and the water in my mouth disperses, replaced with hallow oxygen. I suddenly feel as though I was spinning, and though I'm still laying down, I'm sure I'm going to fall. My head sinks back to the pillow, and the sensation stops.
It's quiet now, and I rest my eyes. Something splashes into a bowl of water beside me, and in a minute the rag is on my forehead again, cool and inviting. The cold seems to make the heat surround my eyes again, and...
- - -
When I open my eyes again, the room is a bit dimmer. I don't remember falling asleep, but I've woken up. My body is still an inferno, and I want nothing more but to escape my own skin. I don't ever recall being ill like this before. I've had fevers, but not so much that is engulfs my entire body in flames. My neck and shoulders are pasted with a dull pain, and the floor beneath me is hard and uncomfortable.
Kari... where's Kari? And Eiji? I want to get up, I have to get up... but my body refuses my will...
I feel a quick, sharp pain in my left shoulder, and I glance over to see two blurry images beside me. Keichirou-san, he's one of them, and... I'm not sure who the other is. He wears white. He is the one at my arm. Whatever caused the pain, a needle, I think, slowly pulls out of my skin, and the area is swabbed down.
"Can you decipher it yet?" Keichirou Shiba's voice asks.
The other man's face, which is slowly clearing, shakes. "I will agree with you, young man, that she does show the symptoms of Malaria. However, I can't be sure." His hand touches my neck. "But whatever it is, she is ill. I doubt she can ever understand what we're saying." He looks at my eyes.
"Ka..." I try my hardest to speak, "Kari..."
"Kari?" He repeats.
"Her daughter. She and the boy are at the station, currently." Keichirou responds.
"Where is the father?"
"He's with the force, away in Kyoto since yesterday morning."
There is a pause, and I try to swallow. That action alone makes me realize how thirsty I am.
"She needs constant care, and I can prescribe something, for now. I will check by tomorrow, for sure. The children may stay here, but not in this room, and not by themselves."
"Hai, I supposed as much." Keichirou-san replies.
I watch the doctor get up, his form towering over me. Keichirou does the same, and they walk out of my current line of vision. I experience a quick coughing fit, and once I'm settled down again, I hear them talking quietly. The sliding door opens, and one leaves.
Eventually Keichirou returns and kneels at my side again. The rag on my forehead is lifted off and is replaced by his hand once again.
"Gomen nasai, Tokio. I don't know how you became sick... We will do our best to help you recover in Saitou's absence. I will see to it that a letter gets to him, and perhaps he can return to Tokyo early."
I don't hear much more of that. Why, I don't know. Before I fall back into the world of sleep, however, I receive a much-needed drink. I want to see Kari, but I cannot even ask for her. Soon I doze off again, not sure when I'll reawake.
-x-x-
-"Ha!" Kari calls out, smiling. She topples over onto the ground, the balance of walking not quite implanted in her frail legs yet.
I laugh, sitting under the shade of a tree. My legs are out before me, covered with the fabric of a red kimono. Kari struggles to get back up, her behind high in the air, fingers touching the ground. She succeeds, and continues walking shakily towards where we are. She's about to fall again, but Saitou manages to grab onto her before she does. Kari laughs. Sometimes I wonder where all of her cheerfulness comes from, even if she is just a toddler.
Saitou picks her up gently and brings her closer to him, her bare feet balancing on his thighs as he supports her. He smiles at her, and she returns the gesture, trying to bat at his face with one of her small hands.
I squint and look up. The sun starts to shine through the leaves of the tree, taking away the shade. Its light goes from warm to scolding, and I try to shield myself from it.
It's so hot... so hot...-
-x -x -
I wake up on my side, in the day. I've either been asleep for a very short time, or I was able to sleep through the entire length of the night. My face is damp and sticky where it connects with the pillow, and strands of my bangs are stuck to my forehead. It's still hard to breath, the air is stuffy, and I can tell that my sinuses are congested. The heat around my face and torso is unbearable.
"Tokio?"
I roll slowly onto my back and glance over. I see Eiji kneeling beside me, his outline only slightly out of focus. I don't say anything, since I'm not sure if I can.
"Are you still sick, Tokio?" His young voice questions me. "Tokio?"
"Eiji, is she awake?" A senior voice asks. Eiji blocks the doorway, but I think I know who it is.
"Hai." He says, getting up. "She won't talk, though."
"That's fine. Go tend to Kari, you know you shouldn't be in here."
That sentence ensures me to who it is--Muraki-san. Several of the men on the police force who know us are aware that Eiji is not a family relation, and tend not to refer to Kari as his sister.
Muraki walks over, placing a small tray at my side. "I'm aware that it may be hard for you to eat, Tokio, but I need you to try."
I don't want it. The last thing that torments me is hunger, and I have no appetite. I want to sleep. When I sleep, I don't feel the fever, the pain, the pressure. All I want to do is rest until I heal, so I turn away from what Muraki offers me.
I hear him sigh. His fingers touch my cheekbone, then pull away for a moment to remove the glove that covers them. He then touches my face again.
"Dear God... Tokio, you're burning up..."
Like so many times before, a cold, wet cloth is placed over my forehead, but this time another one is placed on the top of my chest, right under my collarbone. I'm very glad for this. Why they don't just drop me into a bath of ice water, I don't know. But right now, I wish they would.
My head is tilted up for some water, and luckily I'm able to drink a bit more than the day before. At least I assume it was the day before. Time is so warped to me, I'm not even sure whether it is morning or evening.
I don't get my wish. I end up lying on my futon for most of the day, remaining in the realm of being constantly half-awake. The fever comes in waves, I discover, at times being mild, and then suddenly rising to being unbelievably intense. Muraki stops in often, though he doesn't actually enter into the room every time. Eiji visits secretly two more times that day, but I still haven't seen Kari, and no one will tell me what she's been doing. The doctor comes in as well, but he doesn't do anything to help my suffering. Seishun Preschool also drifts into my mind, and I wonder what is happening with that.
I feel guilty when I remember telling Eiji I would take him to the Kamiya Dojo. Was that today?
I don't sleep until the sky darkens, and when I do, I'm grateful.
- - -
The next few days go on all the same, my illness getting to the point, on several occasions, that I wish it would just kill me. Keichirou Shiba finally appears again to check on me. I notice now that whenever I'm able to get a drink, something has been mixed in with it. Medicine, most likely. On his visit today, I overhear him tell Muraki-san that Saitou has replied to his letter, but he is unable to leave his work in Kyoto. That's all I hear of him, and I wish direly that I could know what else was in the letter, if anything. I truly enter the depths of hell when my own loneliness blends in with the horror of my ailment.
It changes on the morning of my fifth, sixth, possibly even seventh day of my illness. I wake up ice cold, my limbs feeling frozen, and my shoulders shivering. The blankets that once surrounded me with scorching heat now did nothing to warm my chilled body. The other doctor is called to me again and prescribes something else, and tells Muraki, who has become my official caretaker for some reason, that I need to drink a lot of liquids. He does not do anything to provide me with any warmth other than an extra blanket, for fear that my fever will return. I go about four days in this state, or at least I believe it to be four days, from what I see of the sun through my window when I'm conscious. After the phase finally leaves me, my fever returns, though not quite to the sweltering anxiety I remember it being. More than a fever, however, is the profuse sweating I go through. I drink much more water, and I wake up constantly damp, my night robe sticking to my body. The summer heat and humidity makes it worse, and there is no relief in sight.
I do get some consolation, however.
"Tokio?" Muraki quietly say my name.
I open my eyes. I wasn't sleeping, just... resting. A bead of sweat rolls off my forehead as I adjust and look over, breathing only through my mouth. I faintly smile at what I see.
"Kari..." I whisper.
Kari is near the verge of tears, and she runs from Muraki's light hold and collapses at my side, putting her tiny arms around my shoulders. Her touch is uncomfortable, but I bear it. I weakly raise my hand and stroke it down her short, bobbed hair. I'm glad to see that she is all right and taken care of.
"You're all wet..." She speaks into my neck. I'm not sure how to respond to that.
Eventually she lifts her head and stares at me, droplets on the corners of her big, green eyes. "Mommy, are you really sick?" She asks timidly.
I shake my head, still stroking her hair. "Iie, Kari." I reassure her quietly, "Mommy will be better very soon."
Kari sniffs a few times. "Yakusoku?" Her voice quivers.
I stop short at that word. It's one simple word, but I'm not sure how to answer it. I glance up at Muraki, who stands quietly by the door. Yakusoku? Promise?
"Hai." I finally answer. "I promise."
Shortly after that Muraki retrieves her, I suppose it's because her exposure to me could be damaging. She cries mildly when he escorts her out of the room, and I have to struggle to keep back my own tears. Kari, however, presents me with a light of hope. I know I must get better now, for her. I've never broken a promise, and I never will.
For two days Keichirou-san comes to look after me. By the time Muraki returns, my fever has gone down, and the sweating has stopped. I'm not well yet, but I start healing enough that my outlook is good. After about three, full weeks of the ailment, I am able to sit up in bed to eat some and drink, though on occasion I have needed someone to assist me to get upright. Once my fever has relaxed, I'm mostly left with the steady feeling of weakness. I did try to stand, once, and the dizzy sensation that surrounded me was so intense that I fell back to the ground within seconds. After that I was reminded to stay in bed. I rest for a good portion of the day, trying to gain back my strength. Kari and Eiji are allowed to see me more, but they still cannot visit freely.
And so I sleep again. I don't remember what I dream about, but I think it was peaceful. I enjoy dreams like that. I think I slept for quite some time... three hours approximately when my nap ends, since my room had a dim blue lighting to it, telling me the sun is going down. I yawn a bit, the fatigue of my illness still lying with me. I do think that I'm strong enough to sit up for a drink, or at least I believe that I still have water in the cup by my bedside. I turn my head to reach for it, and find myself reaching for a katana instead.
I gasp. I trail my eyes upward. I can't believe what I'm seeing.
He's there. Saitou sits beside me, facing the same way that I am. He still wears his uniform, his sword beside him. One of his knees is bent, and his elbow leans against it, his face in his hand. His eyes are closed too.
How... how long has he been home? How long has he been... there?
I watch him closely. He seems peaceful, yet there is a look on his resting expression that seems unsure. My eyes start to water involuntarily. I'm so happy... to finally see him...
"Saitou..." I whisper.
His eyes slowly open, so he wasn't asleep. He lowers his knee a little and looks over at me. The faintest... smallest smile forms on his lips.
"Tokio... Are you feeling well?" He asks a bit quietly.
A tear escapes the very corner of my eye, and I smile a bit. "Hai." I answer.
His hand brushes a strand of my dark hair away from my face. "I'm sorry, I could not come any sooner."
"It's all right." I reply weakly. "I was taken care of."
He turns a bit more towards me, and his thumb caresses over my cheekbone a few times. I notice he has all ready taken his glove off. His amber eyes watch me silently for what feels like a long time. I place my hand over his, so grateful to feel his touch again. It seems like eternity since I last saw him. I'm about to speak, but he beats me to it.
"You should continue to rest, Tokio." He informs me. "You need to regain your strength."
I nod, still holding his hand. "Hai."
Slowly he leans over and lightly kisses my forehead. He speaks again as he pulls back. "I'll watch over you." He adds in his usual serious voice.
I release his hand. "Oyasumi." I whisper.
Surprisingly, it doesn't take me too long to fall asleep, or at least dwell in a deep rest. The thought of Saitou home, with me, calms me into a peaceful slumber.
And it gives me the last few threads of strength I need to recover.