Author notes: I love this chapter for all sorts of reasons, and I get to crank up the drama. Have fun!
To Jisatsu Silence: Actually, the dizzy spell was from the sickness, but hey, who cares?
To Rabid Turtle: Yes, Sano does seem interested, doesn't he? Aw… how cutely devastating for him.
Chapter 13: You're So Beautiful
I calmly sit at my desk at the front of my classroom, my chin in my palm as I gaze out my window at the early afternoon sky. From this window I can see over several houses to a few low, grassy green hills, hills that mask the horizon from steeping any further out. If my vision could keep on stretching past the miles of land and city, I'd eventually reach Osaka, my hometown. It has been over a year since I last visited my parents and siblings, and in the moment I miss them. Of course, my gaze rises from the hills to the light blue, cloudless sky. Saitou has been gone again for two weeks now, and yet again I'm clueless to when he comes home. And being perfectly healthy for this span of time, I have to occupy myself the usual way, teaching my students and taking care of Kari and Eiji. I often wonder what it would have been like it Saitou never took trips like this, if he were a normal policeman, or not one at all. I ponder on the thought of having met Saitou on normal terms and not under arrangement. Would we still have married?
I smile inwardly. I know the answer. Absolutely not. Looking back on my younger years, I probably would have found his atmosphere dull and his politeness fake. Of course, it is fake; when he uses it in the way he presents it to my father, but as for the atmosphere... I wouldn't have ever thought his hidden life went so deep.
Why do I miss him so much? It's not like he's fond company... Whenever he's gone for long periods of time, going into the months, his returning presence with mine is awkward, and it takes a few days for things to settle down. Luckily, he's only been gone for that long a few times. I feel guilty when Kari wakes up in the morning and asks me where her daddy is.
I place my fingers on my abdomen below my navel, and smile outwardly this time. I'm ecstatic to have another child, and I just want to grab any passers by and announce it to them, or bellow it out to my class. Funny thing, I was thinking about telling Saitou I wanted another child. I want a large family, like mine, but Saitou is an only child and isn't used to so many kids being around 24/7. And with his work, at least for now, I would have to quit my role as a teacher to raise all of them.
Nonetheless, I still smile, the sudden idea of twins coming to my mind.
"Teacher?"
There's the proof right there, I'm daydreaming again. I jolt quickly back to reality and face my student. It's Taiki, the oldest boy in the class. He's nearly seven, and he'll probably leave my preschool within the next six months to go to an elementary, if he stays in public education.
"Hai, Taiki-chan. Nan desu ka?"
Taiki has several papers in his hands, each with the words "katana" and "hebi" written on each several times in sloppy ink. He hands them to me.
"Arigatou, Taiki-chan." I say. He's such a sweet boy. "Are these everyone's?"
"Iie... Amaya and Mamo are still working on theirs." He replies.
I nod. I place the papers on the corner of my desk and stand up, Taiki returning to his seat.
"Alright minna, finish it up. It's okay if you're not all the way done. Good work."
Mamo scribbles down the page in one line and then jumps from his seat and hands the paper to me, Amaya finishes a few more words before walking to the front of the room and doing the same. I put the papers on the desk with the others and clasp my hands together.
"Okay, good. So, who's ready to learn how to fold an origami frog?"
"Kaaaariiiii...." I peek around the door to her room, finding it vacant. I hear a faint giggle and see an irregular lump under the futons in the corner. Very quietly I tiptoe to the stop, then grab the lump on both sides and tickle it.
"Ah!" Kari laughs and rolls onto the floor, scattering the blankets.
"I found you!" I announce, tickling her ribs.
Kari giggles and squirms, finally rolling away from my hold and standing up, the back of her short hair messy with static.
"Okay, I want to play again, only you hide!" She points.
"You want me to hide?" I repeat.
"Tadaima!" A yell from the basement calls up.
Kari jumps. "Eiji!" She looks to me, and as soon as I head towards the door, she screeches and darts into the hallway, taking the stairs as fast as her little legs can go. Eiji puts his new bokken on the living room table and hugs Kari as she smashes into his legs.
"Eiji, you want to play too?!" She asks.
Eiji raises an eyebrow. "Play what?"
"Eiji," I interject, "How was your lesson today?"
"Ah Tokio, it was great!" Eiji made a fist. "I got to do my first spar today with Yahiko!"
"Spar?" I repeat. I remember it's a kendo school and that it's safe, but the word did frighten me for a moment. "How did you do?"
"I kinda got my butt kicked." Eiji confesses. "Man, I'm only half as good as Yahiko if that... but Kaoru says my aim is way better than his was. Oh!" Eiji reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a small paper parcel and unfolded it, a round, cinnamon cookie in it.
"Here Kari, I brought this for you." He handed Kari the cookie. "It's not too close to dinner, is it?"
I shake my head, grinning. "No. Eiji, that's so nice of you."
"Domo domo domo!" Kari takes a bite of the cookie and beams.
Eiji rubbed the top of her head. "This girl named Megumi came over while I was there and brought us all cookies. It was really good that she did, since Kaoru gave us lunch and it kinda sucked."
"Eiji, you shouldn't say that." I correct. "And please don't tell me you said that to Kaoru."
"Don't worry, Tokio." Eiji picks up his bokken again and heads for the staircase. "I 'mind my manners'."
"I want to go to there too." Kari says, mouth full of cookie and green eyes pleading in my direction.
"Maybe one day. I met a girl over there who's your age, her name is Suzie. Perhaps you two can have a play date... if you ever meet."
"And Sanosuke says hi!" Eiji shouts down the stairs.
"We should have clams more often." Eiji says, using his spoon to get what soup was left in his bowl. He was growing; he had finished off two bowls in the time it took me to eat one. Kari only drinks the broth of her soup, which is disappointing, so I purposely give her more rice than normal.
"It did turn out pretty good, didn't it?" It's a recipe I don't use very often, clams aren't always in good season.
"Hey, Tokio-san?"
I catch the "san" of that phrase. He's about to ask me for something.
"Yes, Eiji?"
"Do you think Yahiko could come back with me after a lesson sometime and go fishing or something? Besides, I need to practice anyway." He says.
"Hmmm..." I hum. Honestly, I love the idea of Eiji finally having a good friend, but I have to remember my terms. "When is that math test of yours?"
Eiji sighs. "Two days, I think."
I nod. "Very well, you get an 85 or higher, and Yahiko can come over."
"85?" Eiji repeats, groaning. "Come on Tokio, usually it's 80."
"I could make it 90."
"Okay okay, 85. I'll get an 85 on my stupid math test."
"Don't denounce arithmetic in front of Kari, Eiji."
I clean up dinner and get the dishes in the sink when I remember some things I left at the preschool building that I need to get done. I could set up for my next class there too.
"Eiji, can you come here for a minute please?" I call into the living room.
Eiji retreats into the kitchen. "Yeah?"
"I need to run down to Seishun for a little while, can you watch Kari for me?" I ask.
"Sure." Eiji agrees.
"And help her do the dishes, but make sure she does most of them."
"Hai."
With that taken care of, I collect some things out of my sewing room and head down to the preschool.
The sun is on the border of setting when I get to the school, but it still gives plenty of light to see by. I probably shouldn't come so late, but I don't plan on staying for too long, and I have some candles inside.
I walk up the stairs to the school, unlock the door with my key, and close it behind me.
All the rows of desks are empty, the ground scattered with pieces of papers and crumbs. I should sweep before I leave. I head to the front of the room and pick up a short stack of papers out of a basket on my own desk, thumbing through them to make sure they're the right ones, and put them in the bag I brought with me. I usually write up progress reports on the children a few times a year for the parents, so they can see how well their son or daughter is doing, or see if some at-home study time is necessary. I find it very helpful in my teaching to take the time to fill these out.
I spot a red origami frog against the crevice of the room where the floor meets the wall. I pick it up, looking over it. There's one fold missing, but it still looks like the animal is was created to be. My mother taught me all sorts of origami when I was growing up, and I always put a string of origami outside the house during the New Year's festival, with Kari's help. I place this one neatly in my basket so I won't forget to ask who it belongs to tomorrow.
Going to the closet on the other side of the low chalkboard, I pull out a broom and begin sweeping over the floorboards, getting what dirt lay there into a pile. I should probably dust too while I'm hear, a dirty environment isn't a good one for teaching.
I work the growing dirty piled slowly over the room, sweeping under the desks as I go, brushing by all the corners where dust bunnies can form. Once I finally get over the whole room, I open the front door and sweep the pile of f the edge of the porch. The air has a faint blue glow to it now. I'll finish cleaning and then go home.
I glance up to see someone headed toward the school, and it takes me a minute to recognize him.
"Konban wa, Oushige-san." I say, moving to the edge of the porch to sweep it off as well. Oushige Yuuhi is Amaya's father, he's come to pick her up a few times when Touru can't make it. He didn't show up today, but has been often lately.
"Konban wa, Tokio." He replies calmly, placing his hands in the pockets of his western-style slacks. "Why are you here so late?"
"I'm just tidying things up." I answer, brushing the broom over the top step.
"I see."
I lift the broom off the floor and step back inside the building to put it in the closet. I search the top shelf for the dust rag, but it's not there. I wonder if it fell...
"Still, it's a little late for a young woman to be out by herself." Oushige's voice speaks behind me.
I turn around, surprised that Oushige has bothered to stay. I turn back to the closet and scan the floor for the rag. "I'm almost done here, then I'll head back." It's not there. With a sigh I stand on my toes and peer over the top shelf, patting it down with my hand for any sign of the rag. My fingers brush against its edge, but at the same time I feel something brush against my neck. I jump, spinning around.
It's Oushige-san.
"You're so beautiful..." He whispers to me, his face dangerously close to mine.
My heartbeat quickens so much that I can feel it beating against my ribs. "O-Oushige..." I duck out of his way and head towards the bag that I left of my desk. I quickly snatch it and head for the door, only to see Oushige blocking my way.
"What's the hurry? You're not done yet, are you?" He asks solemnly.
"G-gomen nasai, Oushige-san, but it is getting dark, and..." I barely finish my sentence before I try to get around him. He steps to the side and blocks me again. I start to panic, but I try not to show it.
"Please don't..." I say, looking away from him, both hands gripped tightly to my bag.
I feel his finger brush my temple and smooth the hanging strand of hair their behind my ear. I take a deep breath and push passed him, thinking that's the end of it, but his hand darts out and grabs my shoulder, nearly throwing me back into his view and against the chalkboard. He doesn't let go.
"Oushige, you're hurting me..." I whimper, terrified.
"That's the least of your worries." He says slickly, sliding his other hand over my neck and to the facing of my kimono. He slowly tries to slip it off my shoulder.
"Yamete!" I scream, dropping my bag and trying to push his arms away from me, madly flailing to release his grip on me. I push him off of me the best I can, squirming like a fish out of water. "Let me go!"
Oushige slams me hard back to the chalkboard as I twist violently. I push him back a step, but he forces me back. I try to get around him, taking him with me, but he's too strong, and he shoves me into the sharp edge of the chalkboard. I cry out as the metal edge slices into the back of my upper arm, unevenly cutting through my sleeve and my skin.
"If you'd stop struggling, you wouldn't get hurt." His voice is calm, though his face shows anger towards my actions. I manage to lift myself off the board edge and get cornered against the closet. Oushige's hands pull one of my sleeves down.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks. "YAMETE!" I scream again. Amidst my struggle, I get enough weight off of my right leg to kick him, and with as much power as I can muster, I slam my foot straight into his groin. He immediately releases me and I take off for the door, the door that is still open at the other end of the room. I burst out onto the porch and take my first step, but my victory is short-lived. The back collar of my kimono is yanked back and I see Oushige's arm wrap around my waist, dragging me back into the preschool. He removes one of his hands only long enough the shut the door.
Oushige curses at me and throws his fist up, hitting me behind my ear. A sharp pain spreads from where his knuckles collided with my head and I fall backwards, smashing into the floor and nearly hitting the wall. My hand races to the spot of impact and my eyes dart to locate him as I push myself off the floor.
That's when I made my mistake. I didn't get up fast enough.
Oushige's body tackles itself onto me and slams me back onto the floor. His fingers dig into my shoulders and his knees hold down each of my thighs, his weight crushing them painfully. The light from outside is slowly dimming away, and a shoulder is released as his hand runs down to my obi and claws at its bindings.
"TASUKETE!" I scream, trying to break lose from his grip, but I have less chance than an insect trying to struggle from the beak of a raven.
I keep screaming at him, to anyone who will hear me, but he doesn't listen, nor does anyone else. He gives up trying to prod my loosened obi away and instead manages to slide it down my waist and over my legs. I try to get and opportunity to kick him off, but it won't work. He won't move. Oh god, please help me. Please get him off of me!
"Yamete! Yamete!" I call for him to stop over and over, scratching his forearms over and over with my nails. He doesn't feel it. I don't see any pain or discomfort in his eyes, only a disgusting look of hunger, like I were a piece of meat.
He successfully removes my obi and rips open my kimono. I scream again and continue to jerk around, trying desperately to throw off his balance. He either gets frustrated with me or does lose his balance, because he harshly clutches onto my breasts and drops onto me. Hot tears fall down my cheeks and I become immobile. I can't yell anymore, I only cry, cry and whimper the name of the man who isn't here.
Then Oushige rapes me on the floor of the Seishun Preschool, and leaves.