Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
A Strange Business
Chapter Six: Just a Little Girly
He knocked gently on the door, and stood nervously, waiting for a response. When no response came, Gnarrk wondered if had done the gesture of politeness wrong. It had taken him long enough to get used to the idea of other people being around him - and the personal space that came along with them. But Kole's crash course in surface world etiquette seemed to have mended these problems. Or at least, so he thought.
He put his ear to the door.
"Gnarrk?" he asked quietly, then proceeded to knock again. The small intercom next to the door crackled quietly as it came alive.
"Come in," came the reply, and the intercom promptly shut itself off. Gnarrk was rather proud of how he hadn't responded in any way to the technology's sudden reply; he was getting used to this surface world stuff.
The door slid open, and Gnarrk cautiously walked through as he saw the entire room engulfed in darkness.
"Gnarrk?" he enquired gently, his voice reverberating slightly around the room. A sudden light shone in his face, and he quickly brought his hand up to shield his assaulted corneas. Through the almost completely blinding light, Gnarrk made out the silhouette of Cyborg. The spotlight on Gnarrk's face suddenly vanished, and through the flashing coloured spots, Gnarrk could see Cyborg sitting down at a table opposite him. He flashed a grin at the confused caveman.
"Sorry 'bout that, Gnarrk. I've always wanted to do the whole 'sinister meeting' thing from the movies."
Gnarrk remained silent.
"Heh… but I guess you don't really get that, do you?"
Gnarrk scratched his head, cocking an eyebrow at the now sheepish looking half robot.
"Uh… Sorry." He gestured to the chair opposite his desk. "Take a seat, take a seat."
Gnarrk cautiously and slowly made his way over to the chair and sat down, keeping his eyes on Cyborg as he did so. Cyborg cleared his throat.
"So. Narrk.
"Gnarrk."
"Sorry. Gnarrk. You may or may not have noticed this, but lately, Jericho and Kole have been… uh…"
"Gnarrk?"
"Exactly. And I was wondering how you felt about that."
Gnarrk shrugged. "Gnarrk Gnarrk Gnarrk Gnarrk Gnarrk."
Cyborg smiled and nodded. "That's what I figured. You're a good friend, Narrk."
"Gnarrk."
"Right. And, since you do feel that way, I was wondering if you were willing to help me to… uh… fan the flames…?" Cyborg said, suggestively moving his eyebrows up and down.
Gnarrk's face remained blank.
"Uh… help them on their way…?"
Gnarrk's face remained blank.
"That is… push them in the right direction…?"
Gnarrk's face remained blank.
Cyborg sighed. "Romance and whatnot."
The caveman nodded and smiled. "Oh, Gnarrk…" He leaned forward conspiratorially, cupping his hand around his ear. "Gnarrk?" he asked curiously, and Cyborg grinned. He was just glad to have an accomplice who wouldn't turn into a cat and take a nap in the middle of a plan. He leaned forward and cupped his hand around his mouth, though he knew no-one would be able to hear them through the sound proof walls.
"Ok, here's what we do…"
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"But when do you get back?" Kole asked tiredly.
The Titan frowned on the monitor in front of her. "We should be back in a day or so."
Kole allowed a small frown in response while she sat on the sofa cradling a now slumbering Teether. "Why so long? Is it still Overload causing trouble?"
Raven sighed. "No."
"Some other villain then?"
"No."
"Then what?"
As if in response, a loud yelp came from the background, followed by a splash. Kole and Raven looked at each other with the same irritated expression, even speaking at the same time.
"Beast Boy…"
Raven sighed again and rubbed her closed eyes. "He wanted to take a break in the Black Sea." She turned to her left. "What did you do now?"
A knocking came on her pod, and she looked up to see Bushido silently gesturing for her to come outside, the slightest of smiles on his face. She nodded and turned back to Kole.
"I'll be back in a minute."
She pulled herself out of the pod, and Kole looked down at Teether and gently cradled the baby as she waited for the empath to return. Though they were far away from the microphone of the pod, Kole could make out the argument.
"What were you doing?"
Beast Boy's voice jumped slightly as he replied. "Hey! It wasn't my fault! Cyborg shouldn't have made these things so slippy!"
"You mean the T-ship that was designed to have a smooth surface for better use in space and undersea travel?"
"…maybe."
Raven sighed heavily. "Look, Beast Boy, just get out of the sea, so we can leave."
"No way! This is so much fun! Just come for a swim and you'll see…" he said, and Kole could tell he was grinning as he spoke. She shook her head and chuckled slightly. The green changeling truly delighted in driving Raven up the wall and back again.
"I am not going to come for a swim, but what I am going to do is come in there and get you if you don't stop goofing off!"
"Ah, just chill out. It's the Black Sea! Most girls would love to come here and just float around."
"I'm not most girls."
There was a brief silence.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing!" Beast Boy replied, he voice rising a defensive octave. "Look, just gimme some time to enjoy this place. Bushido likes it here."
There was another silence.
"You… like it here?" Raven asked, some incredulity in her voice.
There was a pause before Bushido spoke. "It is peaceful."
Raven sighed loudly. "Fine. A few hours, then we go."
The grin on Beast Boy's face was evident from his voice. "Great! And then maybe you'll decide to chill out and come for a float in the water, huh?"
A slight slapping noise and a lot of shuffling followed, accompanying Raven's surprised yell. There was a loud splash, and Kole cocked an eyebrow at the monitor.
"Heh heh… oops?"
Kole became slightly horrified at the monstrous voice that followed.
"I… will… kill… you."
"Uh… you, uh… I mean… KOLE! You need to speak to Kole! Right?"
There was a silence, the only noise the sound of Raven pulling herself out of the water. The pale empath's face appeared on the monitor. She was dripping wet, her mouth turned downwards in a stony scowl.
"I'll see you later."
The image winked out, and Kole couldn't help but feel sorry for Beast Boy. She wondered how Bushido would take the massacre that was about to occur before him. Resolving to ask him about it when he returned, Kole stood and made her way over to the crib that Cyborg had made for Teether. She gently set the baby down, and looked down at the slumbering infant hero with a smile.
She reached out and stroked Teether's face. It was so soft to her touch that her eyes nearly glazed over. A shadow overtook the sleeping baby, and she looked up to see Jericho looking down at him also. She smiled.
"Hard to believe we were all that small once, huh?"
The mute hero nodded, a fond smile on his face. He nodded over to the sofa, where he had laid the slumbering forms of Timmy Tantrum and Melvin. Looking back to Kole, he exaggeratedly let his shoulders slump and put on an exhausted expression. Kole let out a small laugh.
"Yeah, I know. You'd think in our line of work we'd be able to keep up with a bunch of kids."
Simply offering a nod, Jericho surveyed the room, and upon surmising that it was pretty much empty, he held up his finger to Kole. After hanging around with the mute hero for a few weeks, Kole had managed to pick up a few of his gestures and their meanings. For her sake, he had taken to gesturing in a more charades manner, rather than trying to communicate with her in sign language.
Of course, she had been learning in the meantime, but she didn't want him to know until she felt fairly confident in her abilities. Cyborg had been giving her lessons from his files, but he wasn't the best at giving out instructions. If you didn't get what he was trying to teach you right away, he would get frustrated. He would try and hide it politely, of course, but Kole could tell that he was mentally grinding his jaw every time she shrugged at what he was saying to her in sign language.
Jericho returned through the doors with his guitar, and Kole sighed. She shook her head and sighed.
"I don't think we can. The kids-"
Jericho put a finger to his lips and pointed to the clock on the wall. According to the digital time keeper, it was now Cyborg and Gnarrk's shift with the kids, and yet they were nowhere to be seen. In fact, they were running late. About ten minutes late, to be exact. Kole frowned and looked over at Jericho.
"Have you seen them anywhere?"
He shrugged and shook his head. The pink haired teen sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Now I see why Raven gets so stressed out…"
Offering a reassuring smile, Jericho took Kole's hand and led her over to the sofa, where he sat and set his guitar aside. Putting his fingers to his lips, he tiptoed over to the TV as though he were a pantomime villain, twirling his imaginary moustache as he went. Kole giggled, and then ducked her head and covered her mouth as she remembered the sleeping children on the sofa next to her.
Jericho poked around the TV for a moment, trying to find the power button in the semi darkness of the room. Cyborg had altered the window 'frequency' slightly so as to block out half of the light coming in from the outside when they were attempting to get the kids to sleep. It was a neat idea, but it only half worked.
The TV suddenly sprang to life loudly.
"AND THEN YOU ADD THE SNAILS," a voice boomed, causing Jericho to leap back from the screen in alarm and Kole to let out small yelp of shock.
She turned to the sofa and quickly picked up the remote, fumbling for the 'mute' button. Kole pressed the button and the chef was silenced. She let out a sigh of relief as Jericho flopped onto the sofa beside her. They quickly checked the children, praying to every deity in existence that they hadn't been awakened by the sudden noise.
They were all still asleep.
The pair let out a collective sigh and Kole turned down the volume of the TV. They settled into the sofa to watch the chef silently adding different ingredients and laughing at his own jokes. They would have turned on the subtitles, but neither of them was particularly interested in the show.
Kole looked over at her companion. "They seem to be taking their time, don't they?"
Jericho nodded and scratched his head, also wondering what was taking the two. It wasn't as though Cyborg and Gnarrk usually hung out together.
"Do you like these cooking programs?"
Jericho shook his head, and Kole smiled.
"Good, because I can't stand them either."
Jericho nodded and grinned, and began flipping the channels.
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Cyborg glared at Gnarrk in frustration.
"No… no… no. The candles have to be scented. You can't have romance with ordinary candles."
The caveman sighed and put the candle back on the shelf. The other patrons in the store were giving the two of them strange looks, and rightly so. Cyborg had been stocking up on various 'romantic dinner' supplies, and a half robot superhero being followed by a caveman was strange enough, even for Jump City.
If Cyborg hadn't been so hell bent on getting Jericho and Kole together, he probably would have thought about the repercussions of being seen purchasing romantic supplies with Gnarrk, particularly from the media. The last thing he needed were rumours of a love tryst between him and a caveman. Not that he had anything against Gnarrk; he just didn't want to be romantically linked with him. As it was, Cyborg was oblivious to such thoughts.
"Gnarrk?"
Cyborg turned and sighed, rubbing his eyes. "No, Narrk! I said scented candles. Scented."
"Gnarrk."
"That's what I said!" Cyborg shook his head with a frustrated groan. "Look, why don't you take care of the food. I've written a list, so you should be able to get all the stuff without any problems, okay?"
"Gnarrk, Gnarrk…"
The caveman skulked off out of the candle shop and towards the grocery store across the way. The other shoppers in the mall stopped to look at the caveman, who had decided not to wear any surface world clothes in favour of his loincloth. He found pants too restricting, and shirts pointless. He didn't need them to keep warm, so why bother?
He stepped into the grocery store and started to collect the various items that Cyborg had written. He looked down at the piece of crumpled paper and struggled to read the words illegibly scribbled there. Even Gnarrk had better handwriting than this.
A nervous store assistant worked her way over to him.
"E-excuse me sir. Can I help you with anything?"
The caveman blushed slightly as he realised the girl was quite pretty. "G…Gnarrk," he said, quickly pointing to the list.
"Um… Gnarrk… I see…" she said, reluctantly taking the list and attempting to read the writing. "Did you write this?"
Gnarrk shook his head. "Gnarrk Gnarrk."
After a brief moment of confusion, the store clerk's eyes lit up. "Oh, I know you! You're one of those new members of the Titans, aren't you?"
"Uh… Gnarrk?"
"Which one are you?"
"Gnarrk."
"Right, but what's your name?"
His earlier embarrassment quickly fading, Gnarrk looked down at the clerk, starting to become slightly annoyed. "Gnarrk."
"Yeah, but… what's… your… name?" she said loudly and slowly, as though that would help him to understand. Gnarrk ground his teeth together.
"Gnarrk!"
"What do you- oh, so you mean that's your name?"
He sighed and nodded in relief. "Gnarrk…"
"Is that all you can say? Are you like, a caveman or something?"
Gnarrk shook his head. "Gnarrk," he said sarcastically.
"You're not? Then what's the deal?"
Gnarrk sighed.
"Do you know Robin?"
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Cyborg looked through the CDs before him. He had quite a selection of music on his own personal computer system back at the Tower, but he had a feeling that tonight required something special. He had a feeling that R&B wasn't exactly Jericho or Kole's style, and had made his way over to the 'Pop' section.
He shook his head and grumbled as there was little to choose from here. He ceased his search for a moment and thought about the matter. He hadn't seen Kole being interested in much by the way of television of music, though she had already trounced Beast Boy at Danger Team: Go For Broke, and he doubted she would like to listen to the music from that game. He decided to leave that thought alone and went on to Jericho.
The blonde hero didn't really listen to anything in particular either; he just sat around and played his…
Cyborg's eyes lit up with inspiration, and he hurried over to another section of the music shop. The grin on his face was almost maniacal as he quickly browsed through and found a CD that would be perfect. Since Jericho liked to play the guitar, he must obviously like to listen to it. And Kole always seemed really interested in the music that Jericho played.
Cyborg smirked.
Though that probably doesn't have much to do with the music.
"Gnarrk!"
Cyborg sighed and looked to the doorway out of the shop. Somebody was making a commotion on the lower floor.
Three guesses who it is.
Quickly paying for the CD, Cyborg made his way downstairs via the escalators. He could have gotten there quicker, sure. But he felt like taking his time. Cyborg took the opportunity to slow down whenever he could, especially since the Max 7 incident. And, despite Gnarrk's predicament, this wasn't one of the times when Cyborg felt he needed to rush.
As the lower floor came into view, it became clear that Gnarrk had become the source of his own problems. Cyborg sighed.
"What happened?" he asked tiredly.
Gnarrk became slightly sheepish and pointed down to his foot. It had become ensnared in some kind of sticky pink substance.
"What the heck is that, Narrk?"
"Gnarrk."
"That's what I said. What did you do?"
"Gnarrk… Gnarrk Gnarrk Gnarrk Gnarrk Gnarrk. Gnarrk? Gnarrk, Gnarrk Gnarrk-"
Cyborg raised his hands. "Okay, okay, I get it. But why did you get that much bubblegum?"
Gnarrk pointed to the list, and Cyborg frowned.
"Gnarrk."
"What? You couldn't have misread all of these things."
Looking slight annoyed, Gnarrk shoved the list in Cyborg's face once again, pointing vehemently to the words written there.
"Gnarrk!"
Cyborg squinted as he tried to read his own writing. "Well… uh… it says… uh…" he sighed and looked down at the ground. "Never mind," he grumbled, kneeling and extending a small laser from his finger. "Just let me take care of this, and we'll go back in there and get the stuff we need."
"Gnarrk."
After Cyborg had cut Gnarrk free of the gum, the two made their way back into the store. The caveman looked over at him curiously.
"Gnarrk?"
Cyborg grinned. "It's one of the great romantic meals."
The caveman sighed. "Gnarrk… Gnarrk?"
Cyborg looked over at his companion in disbelief. "No I d-" he said, his voice raising a defensive octave. Clearing his throat, he brought his voice back down to its usual low level. "No, I don't think this is girly!"
Gnarrk shrugged. "Gnarrk…" he said nonchalantly, before moving off into the store.
"Narrk, this is not girly. Are you listening to me?"
"Gnarrk."
"That's what I said. Now, this isn't girly. I'm just… interested in helping my friends, all right?"
Gnarrk was silent.
"All right?"
Gnarrk shrugged. "Gnarrk, Gnarrk…"
Cyborg nodded. "Good. Now, let's find some veggie- wait, why are you smiling? It's not girly, Narrk!"
"Gnarrk."
"That's what I said."
Gnarrk sighed.
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Cyborg tiptoed into the living room, cautiously glancing from side to side as he entered. Upon seeing that all of the children were asleep, he gestured for Gnarrk to follow him, putting a finger to his lips to tell him to be quiet. Gnarrk nodded an affirmative and tiptoed after him.
A quick scan of the room revealed Jericho and Kole sat on the sofa. A grin spread across Cyborg's face as his scheme began. Making his way towards the sofa, he noticed that the two didn't seem to be moving. In fact…
Cyborg turned the corner, and his face dropped. They were both asleep, Kole resting her head on Jericho's shoulder, and the mute blonde's head resting on top of hers. It was an adorable sight.
And Cyborg couldn't be more annoyed.
"Ah, man!" he hissed, and Gnarrk looked at him curiously. Upon seeing Kole and Jericho asleep together, he just smiled. He looked up at Cyborg in confusion.
"Gnarrk?"
Cyborg glared at the caveman. "No, this isn't what I wanted! They were supposed to need me to do this stuff for them! They've got all romanced up without me!"
"Gnarrk… Gnarrk?"
"No, that's not better! I'm not used to these proactive, healthy couples. They're all supposed to be in denial and have deep psychological problems that stop them from getting together!" He gestured to Kole and Jericho. "This… this is horrible! I mean… look at that. Look at how cute that is! There's no way I can compete with that."
The communication control panel beeped quietly, and Cyborg made his way over, still grumbling to himself as he went.
"Titans Tower," he sighed.
Raven's face appeared on the screen.
"Hey Raven."
The empath cocked an eyebrow. "Where's Kole?"
"Taking a nap," Cyborg replied with a scowl.
"O…kay. And why does that put you in a bad mood?"
"It doesn't. It's fine. Never mind. What's up?"
"I don't know if Kole told you, but I told her it'd take a day or so for us to get back."
"And?"
"Well…" she began, a slight smile on her face. "Beast Boy insisted we head back at top speed."
"Why's that?"
There was a pained groan over the communication channel, and Raven's smile increased in size. "Apparently, jellyfish don't take kindly to Beast Boy."
Cyborg couldn't help but laugh, but quickly calmed himself so as not to wake Jericho and Kole. Not to mention the children.
"Ow… dude, it's not funny!"
Cyborg grinned. "Oh, yeah. That's not funny." He cocked an eyebrow at Raven, cutting off Beast Boy's channel. "He does realise that you can heal him, right?"
"Well… this should teach him not to pull me into the water." Raven's smile lessened slightly as she began to talk about business again. "Anyway… since we're heading back at full speed, we should be back before the end of the day."
Cyborg nodded. "Right. Looking forward to seeing you. And Beast Boy," he added, grinning.
With a smirk, Raven signed off. Cyborg's grin became evil, and he rubbed his hands together. Gnarrk considered his expression curiously.
"Gnarrk?" he enquired.
Cyborg nodded. "Very perceptive, Narrk."
"Gnarrk."
"That's what I said. Anyway, we've got some planning to do."
"Gnarrk?"
"Raven and Beast Boy, that's who."
The caveman cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. "Gnarrk?"
"Oh yeah. They've got the major hots for each other."
Gnarrk shook his head. "Gnarrk…"
"They do! Seriously. Okay, maybe they don't know it… but they do."
Gnarrk sighed. "Gnarrk."
"Don't worry about it, it'll be fine. They'll appreciate it later. C'mon, Narrk."
"Gnarrk."
"That's what I said."
Gnarrk hadn't been on the surface world for long, but even he knew that he didn't really want to take part in this. But before he could protest, Cyborg had put his arm around his shoulder and coerced him out of the room and towards the garage, where Cyborg did most of his planning.
Gnarrk sighed.
Living with the Titans was a strange business.
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(A/N: And that's the peaceful interlude.
Next chapter: Things heat up as Red Star and Val-Yor arrive at the The Citadel home world.
So, review!)