Layin' face down on the ground

My fingers in my ears to block the sound

My eyes shut tight to avoid the sight

Anticipating the end, losing the will to fight

The austere room was very quiet. Outside, a bright sun was shining down through the crisp autumn air. Streaming in through wide windows, the warm rays seemed to focus on a still figure, lying tightly curled up, in a wide bed.

Rui watched pensively from his own dark corner, his chin resting on his fist, as the sunlight crept along the bed, casting its bright glow upon Tsukushi's slight frame. He'd been watching her all night, it seemed, and now for much of the day. And she'd still not awakened from her stupor. Were it not for the regular rise and fall of her chest beneath the thick comforter, one would not have known that she was alive.

Rui did not know what to do. He still did not completely understand how Tsukushi had come to occupy so much of his heart. He, who had once only had eyes for the goddess that was Shizuka. Perhaps, it was because of their differences. After all, Shizuka had never needed him—She'd always been the one to protect him—making him feel like her toy, her own little boy, But Tsukushi: she'd first treated him as her own idol. Then, despite learning his weaknesses, she'd still liked him; come to need him. It gave him purpose. Let him feel alive. Useful.

But now, he did not know what to do. The thought made him want to cry. Tsukushi's hurt was so great, and this time, he could not simply remind Tsukasa of his duty towards Tsukushi. What use torturing an amnesiac so? Satisfying as it would feel to beat the living hell of out Doumyouji- to leave him as a trembling bloody pulp for the suffering he'd inflicted upon Tsukushi, it would do no good. Would not help reunite the star-crossed lovers.

And, deep inside his soul, in a place Rui tried to forget existed, he was glad. Glad that This time, it was not within his power to drag Tsukushi and Tsukasa back together for their own good. For he knew, despite their moments of joy with each other, they'd only bring each other pain time and again. Rui would not allow such a thing to happen with himself.

But still. He did not admit the existence of his delight. And so, all he could do was watch impotently as Tsukushi slept.

Rui felt his fists curl tighter upon themselves in frustration . As the nails dug deeper into his palms, he growled deep in his throat, despairingly. He loved Tsukushi. Would shout this fact to the world if only it would help ease her hurt.

But would it be enough? Slowly, Rui relaxed his clenched hands, as his head dropped between them, to be cradled in his laced fingers.

For now, all he could do was wait.

Tsukushi woke slowly. As she drifted up through the layers of sleep, she at first could remember very little of yesterday's events. The warm sun on her face, the soft blankets that encompassed her, all conspired to prevent rational thought. Not that this was a bad thing, mind you. Somewhere, a little voice in the depths of her unconscious whispered that she should just lie here with her eyes shut and enjoy the sensations while she could. A full wakening would be. … unpleasant, to say the least.

Thus, she continued to float drowsily in the warmth. Content to forget all. . . Until in a flash, like a knife to her throat, it all came stabbing back. Yeah, it'd have been better to stay asleep.

A cold hard knot formed in her throat, displacing the comfortable contentment she'd basked in just moments before.

Where am I? was her first coherent thought, then, This doesn't feel like my bed. And the light's all wrong. . . we never get this much sun in the apartment. . . .

Reluctantly, her eyes flicked open. She had to face the world sometime. May as well get it over with, now. . .

The first thing Tsukushi saw as she blinked in the cheery sunlight, was Rui's face. He'd crossed the room to her, the second he saw her beginning to stir.

She thought he looked… exhausted. Perhaps almost as bad as she felt, but as she watched, his expression, half-worried, half-hopeful, broke out into one of those slow smiles of his. These smiles, produced only for her, never failed to stir something in her heart, like a butterfly trying to escape, and she could not help but try and smile back.

It was a weak effort, though, and Rui could not fail to notice. He crouched down by the side of the bed, and reached out to clasp one of Tsukushi's hands where it lay limply on the bed. With the other, he gently stroked her hair, as he continued to watch her worriedly.

"I'm glad you're awake." He spoke at last. "I was afraid you might be learning to sleep as much as me!"

It was a weak joke, but Tsukushi felt the start of a smile trying to tug her lips up in response. She gazed searchingly at his haggard face.

He looks like he's been through hell and back? Is it because of me? He can't have slept last night? Was he here the whole time? Oh Rui. . . . . How is it that you're so often the one to take care of me? These thoughts flowed through Tsukushi's mind in rapid succession as she gripped his cool hand more tightly.

"Where are we?" Tsukushi replied. She felt as though all the tears yesterday had turned her throat to sandpaper. In her own ears, her voice sounded harsh and drained. He must think she was utterly pathetic. Recalling her strong words yesterday, about needing to make a change, right before her collapse, Tsukushi felt so stupid, felt that she should have known that things would not have been that simple Not when there were other people involved. And there always were. But, before she could get lost in her brooding thoughts again, Rui answered her question.

"We're at my family's new retreat. I finally convinced my father to buy a vacation home with a hot springs. And since we just bought it a few weeks ago, no one else knows about it yet," Reassuringly, Rui patted Tsukushi on the head, "No one will bother us here, until you're ready to go back. Oh yeah, and I ordered my driver to go back and get your things from your apartment." He smiled that hopeful smile again, as if waiting to see if Tsukushi approved of his actions.

Such a mother-hen. Tsukushi could not believe how considerate Rui could be; remembering every detail and taking care of things before she could even think of them. Not at all like Tsukasa, whose impulsiveness always led to them taking off unprepared to face the day.

Tsukushi smiled up at Rui. She knew that she would not really be able to stay here long. No matter what she might want. She had school. And work. But just a few days. . . . to sit, and soak. And jut not deal with the world. Perhaps it would help her to forget, or at least ease the eternal ache in her heart. Give her the strength to fight back again, when she returned and the world attacked her again.

Rui could almost see these thoughts flitting behind her pain-filed eyes. So brave; she'd fight to the end of the world. he thought sadly. But he knew she wasn't really that strong. Especially now. One more shock, any more unkind words directed at her, and she just might break for good. And that he would Not allow.

Rui felt himself growing angry just thinking about anyone causing Tsukushi to break. But one look at her attempted smile caused his heart to melt again. He leaned in and kissed Tsukushi, then impulsively, reached in and lifted her bodily into his arms

"Come on." He smiled down into her shocked face, "let's go see what the cook here can make for breakfast!"

"I can walk, you know!" Tsukushi couldn't help but yelp furiously.

"Maybe, you could, but not if I don't let you go." Rui replied teasingly, as she weakly kicked at him.

"Men!" Arrogant behavior like this always managed to bring back Tsukushi's spirit no matter how badly she felt. Which of course, had been Rui's goal all along. He grinned to himself, as he gently set Tsukushi down on her feet.

"Ooh! Cold floor!" Tsukushi winced as her bare feet landed

"You sure you wouldn't rather be carried?" Rui asked wistfully. Now that he'd put her down, he rather missed the warm weight of her leaning into his chest.

"I'm fine." Tsukushi stubbornly replied, "And whoa.. . . wait a sec. How'd I get to be in pajamas?" with a brightly burning blush, she turned to glare furiously at Rui. Rui, in turn, assumed his best stone-faced innocent look.

"Well, you couldn't very well sleep in what you were wearing." And it's not as though he hadn't seen her naked before. . .

Tsukushi scowled, but the effort of summoning up this much anger in her already weakened state, had drained her too much, and before she could summon up an adequate retort or a slap, she felt herself begin to sway. Perhaps trying to walk on her own had not been such a good idea after all. . . .

Rui did not give Tsukushi time to fall. Scooping her back into his arms, he sighed,

"Fool woman, why do you always get so excited about such little things?" he bent down and tenderly kissed Tsukushi on her forehead as she tried to maintain her glare. "Let's put some food into you before you waste away."

Tsukushi surrendered to the indignity of being carried. It wasn't like she was in much of a state to do anything about it now anyway. And, she did feel secure here too. It wasn't quite like being carried by Tsukasa, but it was. . . peaceful, in the cradle of Rui's arms. She felt herself drifting off to sleep again as they headed out towards breakfast.

To be continued.