Indecision clouds my vision

No one listens

"Tsukushi, Tsukushi. . . blah blah blah!" Tsukasa muttered as the stinging in his cheek began to recede. "Do you have to keep bringing that woman up? How many times do I have to tell you, I don't know her? And from what little I've seen when she was hanging around, I wouldn't want to!"

Tsukasa swept his gaze around the room, taking in the looks of shock on his friends' faces.

"Tsukasa. . . " Akira began

"What? Are you going to nag me again too? Sakurako already beat you to it."

"Umm. . . no actually. I was going to ask if you were feeling ok. . . You're bleeding again." Akira hesitantly pointed at Doumyouji's side, where, indeed, drops of crimson were once again beginning to show.

"I'll call the doctor." Soujiro slipped out of the room.

A nervous silence fell, as Doumyouji glanced down at his wound. It had been two weeks already, and, like his absent memory, the hole showed no sign of healing. Tsukasa managed to ignore it most of the time, as it was not in his nature to heed risks to himself, but even he had to admit. . . it was getting worrisome.

Sakurako glanced down at the floor. She felt obscurely guilty for this fresh damage, as if her vehemence in verbally assaulting Doumyouji had led to the muscle spasm or momentary tension that rent the half-healed flesh open anew. Frustrating as the man could be, she did not want him to die. Sakurako was not used to feeling guilty, and she hated it.

"Tsukasa, I'm sorry," she murmured in a low voice meant only for Doumyouji's ears.

"What for?" He didn't bother to lower his voice similarly, "Fool woman, you didn't stab me. . . . did you? Or are you apologizing for hitting me? . . . If that's the case, then I'll accept your apology on one condition."

Sakurako was instantly on her guard. She wasn't sure she liked this sudden bantering tone in his voice.

"What might that be, dare I ask?" she inquired guardedly.

In the background, Akira and Shigeru glanced at each other. They seemed to have been tuned completely out of their friends' sphere of attention. They'd only seen Tsukasa ever focused so intently on one person before. . . And Tsukushi was most manifestly Not present now. Seeing Tsukasa's dark eyes gazing so--hungrily-- at Sakurako wasn't just wrong. . . It was downright creepy, especially given its suddenness.

Akira raised an eyebrow, as if to question, "What do you make of this development?"

Shigeru replied with an infinitesimally small shrug, "Haven't the faintest."

Tsukasa smiled, as his eyes took on a calculating gleam. . . Sakurako looked so appealing when her guard was up. You could just see all traces of her fluffy-cute act dissolving away to reveal the layer of steel beneath. And if he pressed harder, he just knew that her innermost layer of vulnerability would be revealed. He didn't know why this was so important to him, only that it was. The undeniable fact was that he wanted this complex girl who stood before him now. And an echo of déjà vu deep inside told him that she wanted him too, despite her vehement denials. So, his lips twitched up conspiratorially as he rubbed his wounded cheek thoughtfully.

"Since I didn't get to enjoy it last time. I want another kiss."

Sakurako felt an outraged growl beginning deep in her throat. She was the one who normally got to dictate terms to her men. She did not like being ordered into intimacy, especially by this arrogant man who had once spurned her so coldly. But, she winced inwardly, she had hit him rather hard, and his resultant reflex twitch backwards could have worsened his wound. So, she guessed she owed it to him. And, unlike him, she was no blushing virgin. It was just a kiss.

It would be easier, however, if there wasn't a part of her deep down, that still really loved Doumyouji. Or if that part wasn't warring with the voice that told her such an act would be traitorous to her friendship with Tsukushi.

Nevertheless, Sakurako stifled her growl, and moved back to Tsukasa's side.

"This is the only one you get," she reminded him, "Don't take it as an invitation to assault me again."

Tsukasa merely smiled a small, but exceedingly satisfied smile as Sakurako leaned in and kissed him lingeringly on the lips. Sure, he was shamelessly using his status as an invalid. But what was the point of being confined to a hospital bed if you couldn't dream up perks like this? He didn't even seem to realize, how once he would have blushed at his own behavior; how there once was a time when he never even would have considered kissing a girl he wasn't utterly head-over-heels in love with. (And while his brain, (and other, lower, parts of him) told him now that Sakurako as fascinating, desirable, tantalizingly deep, none of these emotions quite reached the elevated status of Love.).

Meanwhile, Akira and Shigeru, feeling completely forgotten, retreated to the doorway. They weren't completely surprised that Sakurako, sex-fiend that she was, was putting so much dedication into fulfilling Tsukasa's condition. But still, it seemed a bit excessive. . .

Soujiro chose that moment to return with a doctor in tow, and immediately burst out laughing.

"What?!" Sakurako broke away from Tsukasa and demanded fiercely, "What the hell is so damned funny?"

". . . Nothing," Soujiro gasped, as he leaned over, still out of breath from laughing so hard, "It's just that I can't seem to walk into a room anymore without finding unexpected couples going at it. . . but please, go back to what you were doing—don't let me stop you."

Sakurako glared, and Tsukasa blushed as crimson as his recent blood loss would allow.

"Soujiro, behave!" Shigeru whispered, pulling him aside so that the doctor could enter.

"Why should I?" He teased, "They weren't."

"Hmm. . . " Shigeru mused. After all, she had to admit to feeling a twinge of jealousy as she had watched the two kiss. She loved Tsukasa too, though she had sworn to set aside her own feelings in deference for his happiness. But if Tsukushi had gone off with Rui, perhaps her oath didn't apply anymore? Maybe she should start misbehaving as well? It was something to consider.

Meanwhile, the doctor busied himself in poking at Doumyouji's injury. It truly was a mess. The underlying fascia kept ripping free of the sutures, and without that to keep the wound edges apposed, the skin above could not regenerate. And the longer it took to heal, the greater the chance for infection, or other complications. It was not a good situation.

"Mr. Doumyouji," He began, "You have got to take things easy. I'm confining you to your bed until further notice. And as for you, young lady," He turned to Sakurako, "Your boyfriend needs his rest. You can't encourage him to do anything that might cause him to strain himself too hard."

"That wasn't my intention." Sakurako said through gritted teeth.

"Good. Good. Well then, I'll leave you young folks be. And remember now, you mustn't let Mr. Doumyouji get upset, or do anything physically active.'

"Hey wait!" Tsukasa burst out, unable to keep silent anymore, "What the hell am I supposed to do?? When are you incompetents going to make me better? Isn't that your job? Instead, you just tell me to lie here and do nothing? What kind of bullshit is that? You better do something quickly, or the Doumyouji Corporation will no longer be contributing to this hospital's endowment!!"

"Now, now. . . What did I just tell you about not straining yourself? You must relax."

"Fuck this! I'm Not staying in this prison cell one second longer." Tsukasa began to struggle to sit up.

"Tsukasa you idiot! You're hurting yourself." Shigeru gasped and pointed to where his fresh bandage was beginning to show pink.

"Ah, Sir! Please stop!" The poor doctor was at his wits' end with this patient. It was hard enough trying to remain civil and polite around him. But what was he to do when the boy just wouldn't listen? Perhaps he should sedate the man?

"Maybe we should move him out of here?" Soujiro whispered to Akira. "Get him to go someplace quiet, relaxing. . . "

"Away from Umi." Sakurako added hastily, as she caught his whispered words.

"But what about his injury? Shouldn't he not be moved?" Shigeru joined the whispered discussion at the door, while Tsukasa and the doctor argued furiously in the background.

"I could get my family's private physician," Akira suggested, "but where could we go? If we want quiet, our houses aren't exactly the best places to be."

"Someplace that will help jog his memory." Sakurako opined. "He's really creeping me out, like this."

"Erm," Soujiro paused, "We shouldn't really run off so hastily though, till we find Rui and Makino."

"Why not? What can we do even then?" Sakurako was disparaging, "I think Tsukasa needs his memory back before we can persuade Tsukushi to do anything."

"Hah." Akira mocked bitterly, "You just want more time to get Tsukasa all to yourself. You think you can fill Tsukushi's shoes as the beast tamer?"

"That's not true!" Sakurako was about ready to slap him.

"I know where we can go." Shigeru had been tuning out the others as she thought, and she spoke slowly as inspiration finally hit.

"Hmm… well, spill it girl!" Soujiro encouraged.

"Hotsprings."

"Hotsprings?"

"Yes."

"Why? Aren't those for old geezers?"

"Ah, but these should jog his memory, if nothing else can." Shigeru smiled sadly at the thought, but declined to elaborate on what she meant. "My family owns a retreat up in the mountains. It's quiet, and it has got plenty of space for the five of us, and the private doctor if you get him to come."

"Hmm. . ." Soujiro and Akira pondered the idea. "Would we get to bathe with you?"

"If you think you're man enough." Shigeru replied archly, trying to brush aside her own memories of what happened last time she was at the retreat,

"Right." Sakurako hastily cut that conversation off, "We should see what Tsukasa thinks."

"And the doctor." Akira reminded.

"Who cares what he thinks? The man is useless." Once Sakurako made up her mind, she wasn't about to let little things like hospital policy or doctor's orders stand in her way.

And so it was that early that afternoon, the five friends found themselves relaxing in the backseats of two limos, driving up to the mountains. Akira and Soujiro had mandated that Tsukasa should not be left alone with Sakurako. Thus, Shigeru and their private physician accompanied the convalescent, while the playboys and a much-relieved Sakurako rode in the other vehicle. These three occupied their time continuing the search for Rui, though, with just their cellphones, they weren't making a great deal of progress.

Eventually, they all arrived. Tsukasa immediately started bitching about the accommodations, and the fact that his friends still expected him to remain in bed most of the time. It was apparent that he didn't remember a thing about his previous visit here. Equally obvious, was the fact that he was going to be in a hellish mood as long as he was in pain. The long car ride had done nothing to ease either his headache or the pain in his side, and it was a great relief for all concerned when Doumyouji's private physician smugly produced a small bottle of Percocet and dosed Tsukasa into an oblivious stupor.

"Ah. . . ." Shigeru sighed, as she stretched exuberantly, "Now we can relax! Let's hit the springs while he sleeps. We can come back to the house for dinner. I bet Tsukasa will be awake by then! . . . come on, I'll race you boys!"

Indeed, the rest of the afternoon passed rapidly, and with many a ribald comment or ogling look exchanged, as the four friends shamelessly loitered in the springs. It was easier to flirt, and tease, and initiate water fights, than it was to think seriously about the threat to Tsukasa's life, or Tsukushi and Rui's vanishment. And so, the four acted like little kids alone in their private playground, until at last, the sun began to set.

Dinner was a hushed affair. Tsukasa was listless, and irritated at having been drugged. Not that he could have joined in the water sports with an open wound just begging to be colonized by gods only know what bacteria, but still, he felt left out.

And he hated being left out.

Tsukasa contented himself with observing Sakurako out of the corner of his eye, whenever he thought she wasn't looking. She was lively and self possessed, as she relaxed amidst her friends. But even he could sense a heaviness weighing at her heart. Hell, the whole table seemed like it was drowning in depression. Though they all tried to act cheerful, everyone acted like something was missing. And no one would meet his eyes, or answer when he demanded where Rui was. Shouldn't the entire F4 be together? Why had Rui abandoned him at this critical time?

Tsukasa moped.

And he worried, more than he would ever let show, about the bloody hole eating at his side. It paralleled the cold hole in his heart, where vaguely he could still sense that something was missing. Though, this, he was convinced, could be filled by Sakurako. Too bad he didn't think she could equally heal the physical damage.

The evening dragged on, as the five pretended, in a desultory way, to be having fun -- sitting around telling stories, playing cards, and drinking. They were fooling no one. Least of all themselves.

Eventually, Sakurako and Shigeru excused themselves and wandered off to go sleep. Tsukasa too, was forced back to bed by his worried companions. In the end, Soujiro and Akira were left to find solace in the warmth of the roaring fire they'd built in the hearth, and in the half-empty bottle of rum they were sharing.

Without extra girls to flirt with, they were horribly bored. But, even without having slept the night before, sleep would not easily come for either. They were just too worried about Tsukasa, and, though neither would admit it, for Tsukushi—the girl that had become almost like a little sister to them.

The hours ticked by, the fire burnt down, night passed into day. At long last, they slipped into uneasy slumber as the sun began its fresh ascent above the eastern hills.

To be continued. . .