A/N: This is depressing, sad, and has reference to death and suicide so be warned beforehand so you don't have to put yourself in a bad mood by reading it...actually does anybody even read these things? Oh well...carry on my wayward friend.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans but hey, I think we all already knew that.

Fall into the Abyss

By Finalitylife

I fall into the decrepit doors, slamming my slowly growing limp body against them, the door opening up just enough for me to squeeze through. I stumble into the dark, musty room, collapsing on to the ground, unable to keep my balance due to the blood loss I continue to incur from the bullets wounds in my body...one in my arm and one in the chest. I cough up some blood, wheezing it out my throat on to the dirty ground and I know...know that this is the place I will die.

I had come back to this city for the first time in so very long, blindly following a lead, and in doing so only led myself right into a trap. There were so many of them, and they were skilled unlike the usual cannon fodder that is thrown at me by the higher ups of the criminal world. Trained assassins came at me from everywhere, blades slashing, bullets flying, and finally a massive explosion that should have killed me right then and there. Instead I found myself flying through the air, landing into the water of the bay, the salt water immediately burning into my wounds, the only thing that had probably kept me awake.

I was sure that they thought I had died in the explosion, probably searched as much as they could before the police and fire department would show up to find my body, find something to bring back as evidence that I was dead. They would be out of luck though there task would inevitably be completed even if they wouldn't be around to see it.

I don't know how long I treaded through the water, my vision hazy and dark before I found myself at the place I left so long ago...Titans Tower. Now however, it was nothing but a dark, broken down ghost of its former self, everyone having abandoned it long enough, no one in the city wanting to tear it down for some morbid reminder of the heroes that once dwelled there. Dead, broken memories...who really needs them.

It want to laugh at the fact that after all this time, I would find myself bleeding to death on this particular floor, but any attempt at laughing only brings more pain and more expulsion of my life from my mouth.

How long had it really been since then...five...six years maybe. They had all left...they had all left me...except one Starfire had been the first, fleeing back to the safety of her home world when our relationship failed miserably. I know she always thought I would change as time went on, that she could repel the darkness within my being that always scared her so much. The problem was it could not be repelled for it was simply a real part of me, something I grew to understand, something she simply refused to understand, because the boy she loved so much couldn't be this person that scared her so much...that boy didn't exist...never existed. Her ideals of love only blinded her of the truth for far too long and when she no longer could keep her eyes closed, she ran away from what she saw...never to be seen again...at least by my eyes.

Cyborg was the next to leave, our constant butting heads about my leadership...my choices finally becoming to much for him. Cyborg wanted to lead, and I never would relent that power, never would except orders from him so after an explosive fight that almost ended with us coming to blows...he left, finally answering the call to lead Titan's East that had beckoned for a long time. In the end I could not blame him for setting out on his own...to prove himself because it is something I did so long ago, leaving the all-encompassing shadow of the bat to prove myself. It simply was the way it had to be.

Beast Boy was the next to leave, only a month after a way to revive Terra was finally found.The stone maiden had been freed thanks to Raven's magic and after so many years, she once again drew breath. Even after so long the feelings between Terra and Beast Boy never dwindled, never lost its strength, and after only a month, after an incident occurred where Terra was injured, they decided it was best they leave. They didn't want this life anymore, didn't want to have to worry about criminals, super villains, or every day being the day where they could die. They didn't want the life that I lived...didn't want to be around the danger that followed me anymore so they left to live somewhere remote, somewhere quiet and peaceful where they could be happy...happy with each other. Terra spent most of her life in the desert, Beast Boy loved the wilderness, and I really have no idea where they decided to go. All I know is I never saw them again...they left never to return.

What had once been a family had disintegrated so quickly, and their reasons had all been different for parting though in the end, they all were because of me...they all left because of me and the path I chose.

When I was a child, my parents were cruelly taken away from me...they left me, but not by choice. This time though, the family I had chose to leave me, chose to be forever rid of my presence.

One however did not leave my side despite everything...Raven stayed. She stayed even when the others left to pursue the rest of their lives elsewhere. She stayed with me when I finally turned the power off at the tower a final time, closing that chapter of our lives forever. She stayed with me when I abandoned the red, green, and yellow colors of Robin and took up the dark persona of Nightwing, moving my fight against evil to the hell hole of Bludhaven. She stayed when at the end of the day, she was my only release for all my anger and frustration that continued to build up...stayed when she was the innocent target of all my hate-filled words and cold, cruel demeanor. When her cool logic or even her quiet, pleading words failed, she would simply disappear for a while, some times for days, but then return as if nothing happened and the process would only repeat itself.

That last time was only three weeks ago, such cruel words I had spoken to her gentle heart. I told her I knew why she always came back, told her I knew why no matter what I did or said, she always returned. I told her it was because she had nowhere else to go, told her she had no friends, no family, no one who cared about her, so she always came back to the only familiar person she had left, the only one who was willing to even put up with her worthless presence.

Devastation...absolute devastation. It is the only way to describe the look on her face though at the moment, I just didn't care. It was barely audible, barely spoken but I heard it. She said she loved me and all I did was laugh in her face, before walking out of the room, not sparing a second glance. That was three weeks ago...and she did not return.

As I lay here dying, I can't help but wonder that maybe if she hadn't left...maybe if she hadn't left and taken her voice of reason with her, I would have never walked into such an obvious trap and I wouldn't be dying within the dead walls of our old home. I guess its too late to wonder. Another strong cough caused my body to shake, only the taste of blood can no longer be cleared from my throat. The copper taste of blood will be the last thing I taste in this world.

I slowly roll over on to my back, staring up at the ceiling, at that is when I see it. Swaying from the ceiling, moving only slightly in the wind that manages to get through the many broken windows around the tower is a body, clad in a very familiar blue cloak...a cloak I could never forget. My vision is failing but this sight I am cursed in my final moments to see so clearly. The rope still holds tight around her neck, holding her in a spot where only a person who could levitate could hope to reach to commit her final deed. She has not been there long, this much I know but long enough so that there is no life left in her...her eyes still hauntingly open, staring down at me with their unrelenting, dead gaze. She left me...I drove her away...I drove her to this because in the end I was right...I was the only thing she had left in this life and I cruelly took that away in a fit of rage. Maybe she stayed with me out of some twisted loyalty she felt she owed me for being the first person to ever reach out to her, to truly call friend. Maybe she stayed because of the love she believed she had for me. In the end it does not matter because I killed her...killed her for refusing to leave me like the others. What a monster I am...

My eyes can not pull away from hers, what once were beautiful, amethyst jewels are now lifeless, dull, and almost gray. It is these final moments...my final moments that I know...I know that as the rider of the pale horse comes to harvest my soul, there will be no white light for me, only Hell and fire...and in death it is I who leaves them...and her...because I know where I am going, I will never see any of them ever again.