"Mmm. . . something smells good!"

"Is that for us?"

"Can we have some?"

Akira and Soujiro stuck their still-dripping wet heads around the kitchen door, and sniffed hungrily at the food smells that wafted from the stove.

"Wait until dinner!" Tsukushi snapped, turning to glare at the two boys. Her eyes widened as she took in their respective states of undress. Soujiro, at least, had on a robe, though to call it tied at the waist would have been doing the slack cord too much justice. Hardly anything was left to the imagination. Akira was almost as bad, holding a large towel around his waist—he seemed to keep forgetting that its position was dependent on his grip—and that kept slipping as his attention roamed.

"Ah! Guys! go put some clothes on!" Tsukushi stuttered, hastily turning back to her stove before her face reddened.

"But Makino. . ." Akira pled, "We just wanted to see how our favorite working-girl was doing!"

"Yeah!" Soujiro joined in eagerly, "What did you and Tsukasa talk about?"

"Did you tell him about you and Rui?"

"Did he remember anything?"

"Did you ask what's up with his Sakurako fixation?"

"Did you show him what Rui taught you last night?"

"Yes, yes, yes. . Er, What?!" Tsukushi could barely keep up with their rapid fire questioning, and the last question took her by surprise. "No. I did not! Perverts!"

"Hmph, perhaps you should've."

"So . . . What did you tell him?"

"What did he say?"

Tsukushi sighed and looked from one boy to the other. "I told him the truth. I told him about us. I told him that I slept with Rui. He didn't even bat an eye. I think that more than anything else convinced me that 'my Doumyouji' is gone for good. If he'd been even slightly angry, Then I might have hope that he would somehow remember. But he wasn't mad. Just confused.

"So it's ok, I guess. 'My Doumyouji's' gone. But now I have Rui. It will be all right. I will be all right." She smiled crookedly. "Maybe I'm doing the right thing after all. Sometimes, you just have to let things go."

The guys exchanged glances. Tsukushi was rationalizing again. They knew that if Tsukasa were to regain his memories, Tsukushi's heart would be his for the taking, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise.

"Hey, what's with that look?" Tsukushi may have been dense, but she wasn't that unobservant. "And what did you guys do with Rui? You didn't drown him did you?"

"Did we?" Soujiro turned questioningly to Akira, "I can't remember."

"Would we do a thing like that?"

"Guys! I just gave up on one boyfriend! I don't want to find my new one dead!" Tsukushi blushed, as she tried once more to reconcile the word 'boyfriend,' with the man who now loved her.

"But Makino. . ."

"We just wanted him out of the picture. . ."

"So we could have you all to ourselves!" Soujiro leered evilly.

"Yourselves?" Plural?? Tsukushi couldn't cope with such blatantly perverted innuendo, and her already heated cheeks now burned crimson.

"No seriously," Akira continued, "We didn't do anything."

"Well, Maybe Akira didn't do anything." Soujiro proclaimed, "But I got to lecture him. What did I say again?"

"I believe it was something like 'What the hell are we going to do about Tsukasa? You know he's no good without that weed-girl.'" Akira mimicked Soujiro's tone perfectly.

"Yeah, that was it. but Mr. 'poker-face' Hanazawa, just sat there."

"I think he was asleep"

"You always think that. He was just faking it!"

"Uh-huh. Then why the snores?"

"Anyway, so Rui says 'let Sakurako deal with him'"

"Like any sane person would want the responsibility. . ."Akira, noting Tsukushi's suddenly murderous glare, "Not that you're not sane or anything. . just. . ."

"Like I was saying, " Soujiro hastily interrupted, "I asked him 'What about Makino?"

"I think the correct phrasing was, 'What the fuck, Rui? Can't you keep your hands off Tsukasa's woman?'"

"I don't think I sounded quite that bad."

"Guys!" Tsukushi tried desperately to interrupt. She wasn't at all comfortable with this recital, comical as they tried to be.

"Makino. Don't you want to hear what he said?"

"After all the effort we went through?"

"It ain't easy arguing with Rui, you know."

"Guys. . . ."

"I think he took classes in non-Euclidean logic."

". . .Hello, Guys. . . "

"Is that a valid subject? You sure you don't mean non-linear debate?"

"Whatever. As I was saying. . . ."

Tsukushi threw up her hands in despair. She couldn't win an argument with these guys. Hell, she couldn't even get a word in edgewise, it seemed.

". . . So Rui just shrugged. . ."

". . . And blamed us!"

"'If you wanted Tsukushi to stay with Tsukasa, you should have tried harder to help him get his memories back.' Is what he said" Akira mimicked Rui's deadpan tone, as the two boys reenacted the conversation for Tsukushi. . . .

"What? It's not like we didn't try. . ."

"Not very hard. At least I'm concerned with her feelings. Did you two ever think about what she was feeling? How her life was in a state of limbo while she waited for Tsukasa? You know what she's like. Sure, she'd deny that she had any problem at all—and you'd just let her go on pretending, wouldn't you?" Here Rui had paused momentarily. And Soujiro had taken the opportunity to interject.

"If you feel that way, then what the hell were you doing calling us this morning? You're attacking us, when the truth is that you're the pathetic one here! We may have let the situation slide, but you're the one who took advantage of it! Admit it! You manipulated Makino into giving up on Tsukasa! How could you do that? You know what he's like without her. . . How long do you think the calm is gonna last before he gets violent again?"

"Not to mention Makino's feelings." Akira had added, "How exactly can you justify dating her when you know she loves Tsukasa? How is that gonna make her any less confused? How is that going to make either of you happy? Admit it! You're just being selfish!"

"So what if I am? Haven't I watched them screwing up each other's lives enough? I can make her happier that he ever could." Rui had been stubborn, and refused to back down from his assertions. That had effectively stalled further discussions, as he closed his eyes, and sank into the spring, refusing to answer any further of the two boys' prodding questions. . .

"So," Akira's sudden change in tone brought them all back into the present. "We thought we should apologize for being insensitive jerks for the past few weeks."

"Yeah," Soujiro added, "We're sorry, so if you want us to do anything to make up for being such asses. . . just let us know. Do you want us to kick Rui's ass? How about Tsukasa's? I almost beat him that time you ran off to that fishing village, you know!"

"Hell, we can beat both of them up, if you want." Akira enthused. 'It'd be our pleasure."

"Thanks guys," Tsukushi smiled crookedly at the two handsome guys grinning contritely at her, "but that won't be necessary. You've already done so much already today." She quickly hugged each in turn—almost causing Akira to drop his towel in surprise.

Where did I get such amazing friends? Tsukushi never ceased to wonder at the strange turns fate led her down.

"So, are you really serious about staying with Rui?" Akira just had to ask.

"Yes, I am."

"Makino. . ." Akira began. She could tell he was about to start trying to argue with her.

"Really, I'll be ok! Didn't you tell me already today, that it was no big deal?"

"But. . . Are you sure?"

Tsukushi nodded. "I can't go back. The only way to live is forward. I've just got to take each day as they come. So now. I'm going to give this a chance. If it doesn't work, I can always try something else, right?"

"Makino, you're such an idiot." Soujiro chastised her, affectionately, "But you've never taken our advice before, so I'm betting you won't now. . . Just remember, you ever want us to kick someone's butt for you. You let me know." He grinned again. "Right, I'm getting cold. I guess we'd better go get dressed for dinner huh?"

"Yeah. . . you'd better." Tsukushi smiled, "Besides, I can fight my own fights, most of the time—If there's anyone you need to beat some sense into. . . It's probably me! . . . Now go put some clothes on, you perverts! You can't keep prancing around the house half dressed!"

"Yes ma'am!" Akira flipped Tsukushi a mocking salute with his free hand, as he and Soujiro turned to leave.

Tsukushi went back to her cooking with a smile floating in her eye, and a warm feeling lighting her heart.

--------

Doumyouji slumped meditatively in his chair; his lowered chin resting thoughtfully on his clenched fist. His eyes were squinched tightly shut as he willed himself to remember.

Just to remember anything at all would have been a major triumph. Doumyouji felt that he would be satisfied with the slightest of memories, or even any sort of subtle hint at his missing past.

When his meditations failed to unlock his mental doors, Doumyouji grew frustrated, and tried to switch tactics. He let himself replay the afternoon's conversation over in his mind, trying to focus more closely on that Makino girl's words. But he kept getting distracted from the memory of her story by that of her eyes. Even just remembering the looks she'd given him today; ranging from angry, to sad, to challenging, to happy—he could feel his pulse speed up as his trapped recollections screamed furiously at him while he fell into those wide eyes. . .

. . . Falling. . .

He was falling deeper into the darkness.

The deeper he fell, the fewer voices he heard clamoring at him. . . until, there was only one left.

One memory called out to him, sitting like a gift-wrapped box; locked up safely—just waiting for his hands to unwrap the paper, turn the key in the lock, and let a moment of the past unfold from its depths.

He remembered falling.

He had been at school. A day like any other day. Standing around the hall chatting with the guys. . . He'd been leaning against the railing at the bottom of a stairwell. There'd been a crash from above, and he'd fallen, knocked down by some stupid first year girl. Such disrespect! To actually use The Great Doumyouji Tsukasa as a landing cushion! He'd been so furious! Tsukasa could remember the old dangerous rage; the way it had flooded his veins. . . he'd wanted to kill the stupid girl for being an inconvenience, for hurting him, for getting in his way. It hadn't mattered then, that it was an accident, or that she'd apologized. That Doumyouji hadn't cared.

And then, that Makino girl had appeared. Drab and dull in the school uniform, and wearing ridiculous braids, she'd screamed at him for his arrogance and stupidity; not seeming to care a bit that he had all the power here. He could've crushed her like a small bug. He could remember wanting to crush her. to Make her pay for defying him. . .

. . And that was all. . .

Doumyouji shook his head as the vivid clarity of the recollection faded.

He knew he'd been violent before; he could remember coming home with blood on his hands, day after day, but his memories were old and faded, not like the bolt of pure adrenaline that had just hit him. He hadn't realized just how much he'd changed—how could he not feel that way anymore?

It was that Makino girl. . It must have been. No one had ever defied him before—not and escaped with their skin intact. . . but it seemed she had. . . . How could that be?

Doumyouji's eyes opened with as snap. The whys and whats weren't what was important now! What was important was that he'd remembered something! If he'd found one memory, there was hope he'd find more! Tsukasa grinned gleefully at the empty room. He wanted to jump up and shout his success to the whole house! This called for a celebration. Still with a child-like look of elation on his face, Tsukasa climbed to his feet, intending to go find his friends.

But that was the point when he remembered Makino. She'd told him his friends were afraid of him remembering right now. . .maybe they wouldn't be happy if he told them? Maybe they'd try to stop him from remembering more? Tsukasa's face fell. . . But Makino had challenged him to remember! He'd go tell her. She should be pleased. . .After all, he'd remembered something about her. . .

Doumyouji began to make his way slowly to the kitchen. He was still confused about what all of this might mean. He was almost afraid to find out more—almost terrified of what the past had in store for him; afraid to learn that he wasn't the man he thought he was. And maybe even . . a little frightened of how he'd changed other's lives. . .

. . .And Makino?

Before a few hours ago, he'd thought she was nothing special. His friends' little pet, Rui's obnoxious girlfriend. . . But now. . . She'd shown him more facets of her than he knew she possessed, and he couldn't stop thinking about her. He'd almost forgotten about Sakurako entirely, as he was swept up in waves of uncertainty. What had Makino told him? Things he didn't understand at all. Women were so complicated. He didn't remember being interested in them before. Who needed the hassle? So now, why was it he'd automatically responded to Sakurako? Why was it that he now couldn't get Makino's face out of his mind.

And why was she the first thing he'd remembered?

Nearing the kitchen, Tsukasa was startled to hear voices. Lost in thought as he had been, he hadn't even noticed Soujiro ad Akira reentering the house. Hmm. . . here was an opportunity not to be missed. Tsukasa was no good at stealth; in fact, he'd never seen much use for subtlety or evasion. But now. . Now with his friends all acting strangely as they were, he wanted to see how they acted when he wasn't around. . .

Doumyouji crept down the hall to where he could hear the voices clearly, and settled against the wall to listen in.

If asked, he would have had to say that he was shocked by the conversation he heard.

What was it they said? . . "He's no good without that weed girl?" They were talking about him, and not flatteringly either. He'd never really thought about his friends opinions about his behavior. They'd always stuck together no matter what. And here they were trying to persuade Makino not to give up on him. . because they didn't like the way he was without her??

Tsukasa felt himself growing angry. He fought the urge to storm into the kitchen and start yelling about how they should mind their own business. Breathing deeply in an effort to calm himself, he continued to listen. . .

He had to admit that he almost didn't recognize his friends anymore. Their obvious concern for this one girl's well being jarred sharply with their normal attitude about women—that is, all he could remember were their constant flings; their attitude that women were there to be played with and discarded. He'd never seen them actually care enough about one to be this sweet to her—especially since they weren't trying to seduce her or anything.

He'd only before seen them being this sincere towards Shizuka—but then, everyone respected her, or maybe towards Akira's younger sisters—and again, they were so cute it was impossible not to be sweet to them.

Doumyouji felt more and more lost. The more he heard, the angrier with himself he became. He was missing out on all of this. Missing out on the banter and warmth that flowed from the kitchen, missing out on the friendships—he felt that he was the stranger here, not Makino.

He Hated to be left out. Slumping down the wall to sit on the floor, Tsukasa knew there was only one solution. He had to remember everything! He didn't want to be shut out from his friends, left out here all alone! His delight in remembering one fragment was fast fading, as he thought on all the gaps that were left to fill in. . . It might take years to recover it all! And what would happen to him in the meantime? He'd have to relearn who his friends were now, relearn how they all fit into his life, and into each others.

It was going to be hard. But what choice did he have?

And who would help him?

Doumyouji clenched his fists in frustration. Almost he wished that Makino, stranger though she seemed, hadn't left him for Rui. She knew the answers, but would she help him now? After he'd driven her away? Doumyouji didn't know the answer to that, any more than he knew how to even begin to ask her for her help.

-----

"Makino, I want to talk to you."

Tsukushi was again distracted from her cooking by a voice at the door. The boys had left just moments before, and she was still smiling slightly as she turned around to face the speaker.

"Doumyouji." her face fell slightly, "You shouldn't be walking around so much. You need to rest and recover. . . "

"I remembered something." Tsukasa cut off her protests.

"Oh." Tsukushi's first reaction was a faint tremor that ran through her body, causing her to almost drop the spoon she'd been using. She recovered quickly though, trying to hide her sudden nervousness with a too-bright smile. "What did you remember?"

Tsukasa pulled out a chair and sat down at the large table. Tsukushi continued to watch in silence, fiddling nervously with her spoon, as she did so. What had he remembered? There were so many bad memories, and so many good – she was afraid of what he might have recovered, what some scenes might seem like, taken out of context. . .

"Why are you so twitchy?" Doumyouji demanded gruffly.

"No. . No reason. . ." Tsukushi stammered and hastily turned back to the stove so she wouldn't have to face him. "You didn't remember everything?" She sounded sad. She could tell from his face that he was still incomplete.

"No. Just one thing."

'What was it?" Tsukushi couldn't help biting her lip as she awaited his answer. Luckily, Tsukasa didn't take too long to reply. Briefly he sketched out the scene, and then fell silent, as if expecting her to say something meaningful. Tsukushi tried to oblige. . .

"That. . .That was how we met. . ." Tsukushi almost felt tears welling up in her eyes. She ruthlessly suppressed them—It was long ago, and not a particularly happy memory, anyway. Certainly not worth crying over. "The girl was my friend Makiko. You red-tagged me the next day."

"Really?" Doumyouji sounded interested, in an almost academic manner, "We red-tagged you. . . How did we go from that. . . .to this?" he waved a hand as if to indicate the entire group of friends scattered through the house.

". . . It's a long story. . .." Tsukushi sighed.

"Makino." Doumyouji persisted intently. ". . . Will you help me remember?"

To be continued. . .