~~~. . . What, d'ya'll think this is an R/T fic or something? It ain't Rui. (and why does netscape crash every time I try to upload a file? Geez. I have to type the directory path by hand? What a bloody pain in the ass.)~~~
"Tsukasa?" It was Soujiro who responded to the plaintive cry. "What are you doing out here? You shouldn't be up."
"Is Makino with you?" Doumyouji asked again, as he limped closer to the pool, in a vain attempt to distinguish any shapes in the obfuscating dark. There was silence as Akira and Soujiro watched Tsukushi trying to decide whether or not she wanted to answer.
"Doumyouji." She called at last, "Why did you follow me? . . . Why can't you just leave me alone?!" He just had to come ruin the mood. Just when she was trying so hard to be cheerful.
Doumyouji snapped a reply back, automatically responding to the anger in her voice, if not to the plea behind the words. "Stupid woman! You can't just go off running around outside dressed like that! What kind of moron goes around shoeless at night?" These shouted words actually had no relation whatsoever to the conversation he Really wanted to have -- which was about why she ran away in the first place. And, More importantly, how he was supposed to find the strength to keep from dying. . . But that wasn't a conversation that could be had now, not when she'd run like that, leaving him alone again, frustrated and confused. He'd had no choice but to follow her, much as it hurt: to move; to feel the pull on his stitches as he limped along. The ache in his side had grown with each step. He'd been about to give up when he 'd heard the voice and the splashing. And that had been a relief, for he didn't think he could have gone much further. Still. . . He'd found that Makino was not alone-- and now, he couldn't say what he wanted to. He would be too embarrassed, too ashamed to show his fear in front of his other friends, much less the knowledge that he thought he was dying. . . .
"Don't you dare mock me!" Tsukushi screamed back, almost on the verge of tears once more. "Why do you have to ruin everything?" she murmured more quietly, as she began slogging her way out of the spring, her movements slowed by her waterlogged pajamas.
"Hey Makino!" This time it was Soujiro who broke the heavy silence, in an attempt to defuse the mounting tension. "Before you go back inside, you might want to fix your top."
"Not that we don't appreciate the view or anything. . ." Akira added, the leer almost visible in his voice.
". . . but it appears to have come unbuttoned." Well, he should know. . .After all, he'd been the one responsible for some of that damage during one of his tackles while they were engaged in their previous watery battle. He'd thought it'd be amusing to see if she'd notice. ..
. ..She hadn't. Not during the fight, but Akira had. . . . And had joined in the fun, tackling her himself, just so he could pop another button or two. . . Yeah, they'd known she'd probably kill them when she realized, but. . . It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Even Now, Soujiro and Akira found themselves profoundly unrepentant.
"Oooh! You!" Tsukushi spluttered, looking down at her half-open shirt, "I'm going to kill you!."
"Good luck." Akira laughed, splashing a flume of water her way.
Back on the shore, Tsukasa was reduced to watching bemusement as the three shady shapes in the pool initiated a new brief volley of attack and counterattack. He was completely unprepared when a spray of water found itself directed at him, as if to include him in the war that his injury had forced him to sit out.
"Fuck!" He yelled, as he suddenly found himself drenched, "Asshole!"
"Sorry!" This was actually Tsukushi who responded, laughing too hard to sound even remotely apologetic. Somewhere in the dark beyond her, Akira and Soujiro giggled, happy to see Makino's tension dissipating again like mist in the cool air as they fooled around.
"All right, Makino." Akira laughed, coming up behind the dripping girl, "No more fighting for you. You're not allowed to attack the invalid."
"Even if he deserves it." Soujiro added.
"Right." Akira agreed, "Come on, Makino. You need to get to bed." Before you get upset again, he added privately to himself, annoyed at the way Tsukasa's presence had so quickly undone all of his and Soujiro's earlier efforts. With these words, he steered Tsukushi to the shore and hoisted her back onto solid ground.
"Thanks guys." Tsukushi flashed a grateful grin at each of the playboys in turn, her bright smile seeming to light up the night. But, Akira noticed that there was something sinister about her smile, and he shot Soujiro a worried look, just as Tsukushi emitted a triumphant "Aha!" . . . She'd found the playboys' neatly piled clothes and towels.
"Hey Wait! Makino!" Soujiro called plaintively, as Tsukushi wrapped their towels around herself and scooped up their clothes in her arms.
"Sorry Guys!" she grinned cheekily, "You got my pajamas wet, so I'm stealing yours."
'What? Hey!"
"Noo!"
"Makino, it's cold out here!"
"'Night guys!" and she was gone.
Even Tsukasa had to let out a small snicker at his friends' predicament.
"Bah." Akira frowned, but made no attempt to go retrieve their stolen belongings. Nor did Soujiro. Instead, as if acting on some hidden signal, the two boys moved closer to Doumyouji and settled themselves comfortably in the warm water on either side of his feet. "Ok, Tsukasa," Akira began, "We need to talk."
"Huh?" Tsukasa turned to regard Akira in confusion. He'd just realized that somehow he'd let the object of his search out here slip away. And he had no idea why his friends, who had been laughing just a few seconds before, now sounded so deadly serious. "What about?"
"Why was Makino crying?" Soujiro explained patiently from his other side.
"What? Why should I know?"
"She was last with you, wasn't she?"
"So?"
"So. . ." Akira took a deep breath, "Makino Never cries."
"Never used to, anyway." Soujiro interrupted.
"At least, Not in Public."
"She yells."
"She argues."
"She hits really hard."
"But she doesn't cry."
"It's weird. We don't like it." Soujiro stated flatly.
"So what did you do to upset her?"
"Geez!" Tsukasa grumbled, "What's up with you two? Why are you acting all weird and shit? She's just a girl. What's with the overprotective act? Since when do you care about a crying chick? Soujiro, you make the girls cry all the time."
"That's different."
"This is Makino. She's not just another chick."
"She's one of us."
"Admit it, you feel it too. Even if you can't remember her, you know she's different. So. What did you do?"
"Nothing you haven't done to a million girls! All I did was kiss her!" Tsukasa could feel his face getting red. . . In the silence that ensued, he could almost have sworn he could hear the gears clicking in his friends' brains as they pondered this news.
". . . Why?" Akira asked at last.
"Why what?"
"Why did you kiss her? Did you remember something?"
". . .No."
"Then? . . ."
"None of your business!" Tsukasa protested violently. No way in hell was he going to tell them that he wanted to see if it did jog memories, if it was familiar . . And it had been. . . But now he didn't know what to do with that information.
"God, Tsukasa. You're such an asshole." Soujiro sighed, rubbing a hand across his aching forehead, "Are you trying to make the situation worse then it already is?"
"No!" Tsukasa glared at the man sitting next to him.
"Well it sure doesn't sound that way!" Akira snapped back. At the rate Tsukasa was flipping his glare from one of the boys to the other, he was going to give himself whiplash.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Tsukasa was angry and confused, and he really didn't appreciate wasting what could be the last few days of his life getting yelled at by his friends.
"You want to explain it to him?" Akira suggested.
"Sure. . . Ok, Tsukasa, it's like this." Soujiro began. "Makino is our friend. We'd like to think we know her pretty well. Not as well as Rui, perhaps, or you (when you had all your memories), but we're not stupid. . . We do know some things."
"Especially about women."
"Exactly. So, Makino, you see, doesn't believe in showing weakness. Not in public, and certainly not to us."
". . . Rui's the only exception to that."
"Stop interrupting. You sure you want me to tell this? Anyway, You fight with her and she yells right back. Neither of you ever apologize."
"Ever."
"We've never once heard either of you apologize when you fucked up. No matter how severely. For you, that seemed ok. You both have too much pride, or stubbornness. . ."
". . . But."
"Stop interrupting, Akira! But, that's Makino's strength. She doesn't have money. She's not that smart, she's not particularly cute, she's not at all devious. She's just a good person who's very stubborn and strong."
"So?" Tsukasa was thoroughly at a loss as to where this was going.
"So. She doesn't cry. Not in public."
"She doesn't apologize either. Not to you."
"She's done both today."
"So we're worried."
"Excuse me. I'm the one who's bleeding here!" Tsukasa whined petulantly, "Aren't you worried about the wrong person?"
"Shut up and listen." Akira snapped, "This is for your own good." At the same time, Soujiro dismissed Tsukasa's complaint with,
"You're strong as an ox. You'll be fine." Neither wanted to admit that Tsukasa might not be all right, and so they blinded themselves to the severity of his condition.
"Makino, on the other hand, is falling apart. She feels like she's let down not just you, but herself as well."
"She wasn't true to her heart." Soujiro murmured bitterly, as if he knew what that felt like.
"But it's worse than that. She went to Rui, trying to find stability. And now, because she can't forget you, she feels she's disappointed him as well."
"To put it bluntly,." Soujiro interrupted again, "Her self confidence is shot. The absolute fucking last thing she needs is to have you rubbing it what a fool she's been! Do you think she needs hat kind of shit? Do you think she doesn't realize it already? She's not that stupid you know! Do you want her to be miserable?"
"And we don't care if you don't remember a damned thing! That's no excuse to attack her. She's already not eating, not sleeping. She hardly ever laughs any more. And then you. . . . You don't even know her anymore. . .you go and kiss her? What the fuck were you thinking?" Akira sounded really pissed off. "God, Tsukasa, you're a moron."
Tsukasa just looked unrepentant. They didn't understand, they weren't there. They didn't know what he was going through. They had no right to dictate behavior to him, no right to inflict Makino's life story on him. . . But then, maybe this irritation welling up inside was just his guilty conscience protesting the truth behind their heated words.
"Look." Soujiro was a bit more conciliatory. "You have to understand women."
"I've heard this speech before, haven't I?" Tsukasa frowned sarcastically, "Isn't it the 'A woman is like a vase -- she longs to be filled,' speech?"
"No, No" Soujiro protested, "Though that is true too. What I was going to say, is that women need to be pampered, reassured."
"They need validation."
"Tenderness."
"In the case of Makino, here, no one is reassuring her. Rui doesn't exactly know how."
"And besides, everything he does reminds her just how she screwed up."
'Exactly, and Sakurako is angry with her, Shigeru is disappointed."
"The only ones supporting her are Akira and me."
"And she doesn't take up seriously, so that doesn't work so well."
"So really, would it be that hard for you to just try?"
"Not to be accusing her of betrayal."
"Not to kiss her unless you mean it."
"To be a little more understanding."
'A little more forgiving."
"To be a little nicer to her."
"We know you're capable of it. . ."
"Don't tell me how to behave!" Tsukasa roared suddenly, fighting the urge to punch his friends. Their patter was really starting to get to him, poking, prodding, making him feel guilty; like he'd done something wrong; like he wasn't the injured party here. Or maybe, that was just his subconscious agreeing with them, telling him to do what he was told. An insidious voice in the back of his head, asking, Wouldn't it be worth it to see Makino's face wearing a smile instead of covered in tears?
Wouldn't that be a sight worth living for?
Sensing that they'd somehow gotten through to Doumyouji. Akira and Soujiro ceased their chatter and sat in pensive silence for a while before helping Tsukasa regain his feet and begin the long (and extremely cold for the two erstwhile bathers) trek back to the house.
To be continued.