Rui drifted up from a deep slumber, letting his sleep-fogged brain slowly gain awareness. He felt as tired and grey as the morning fog outside the window. Tsukushi lay enfolded in the circle of his arms, a restless dreamer at best; a sleepless sufferer who needed him. He was well aware that she'd vanished from his bed early in the night, and when she'd returned, sometime after midnight, her sleep was no less troubled than before. His fault, he knew. His and Tsukasa's. But it was hard to blame Tsukasa -- after all, that boy had always been a fool; it would be folly to expect any better from him now. Whereas, he, Rui, should have acted with the intelligence and reserve that his friends expected from him. Oh yes, he knew they blamed him too --- blamed him for making Tsukushi hurt more than she already did.

He could not deny that they were right. He'd fucked up royally, and nothing he could do or say would make her happy ever again. He had failed her, and now, it was only his own need and selfishness that kept him by her side.

At least he was honest enough to admit that, if only to himself.

And Rui wondered, what would happen, if he left her, if he got out of this bed now, and told her that they should no longer be a couple (such as they were), that she'd be better off without him? Would it hurt her more, or would it be a relief to be free of his attentions? Even he no longer knew, and he wasn't willing to risk finding out. Not yet.

He could afford to cater to his own self-indulgence just a little while longer, couldn't he?

Rui finally allowed himself to open his eyes-- to take in the sight of the girl who'd turned his life upside down -- Tsukushi Makino. . . . his eyes widened as he took in her sleep-disheveled state . . . And the fact that she was wearing Akira's T shirt. . . And. . . Were those Soujiro's boxers?

He snapped awake in an instant. What the hell was going on here? When she'd come to bed, she was wearing her pajamas -- how and why had she come by these?

"Tsukushi?" he murmured into the sleeping girl's hair.

"Mmmm?" was her incoherent reply as his voice slowly entered her awareness.

"Why are you wearing Nishikado's underwear?"

Tsukushi paused drowsily, as if her half-awake brain couldn't quite process the question properly. Then, quite decisively, an answer formed, as she rolled over to face his questioning eyes. "Spoils of victory." She flashed a quick, almost-real grin up at him, "I'm starving, what's for breakfast?"

Just as confused as before, Rui sighed stoically, "haven't the faintest. Shall we go see/"

"Yeah!"

Slowly Tsukushi sat up, leaving Rui disappointed by the loss of her body next to his. "I smell coffee."

"Yech."

"Snob! I wonder who's up before us?" Hastily Tsukushi finished the ritual of putting bare feet down on chilly floors. "Let's go."

Rui sighed, and followed her to the kitchen. At least the small girl seemed in better spirits today despite her restless sleep. He would've bet money it must've had something to do with whatever incident it had been when she'd gained the F2's clothing.

----------

"Morning Tsukushi!" Shigeru gushed brightly, as Tsukushi stumbled into the kitchen, followed closely behind by Rui.

"Hey, we were just waiting for you!" Akira, looking less than fully awake, slumped at the kitchen table, gamely clutching a full mug of coffee.

"Yeah, we demand a rematch." Soujiro didn't even look up from his mug, as he continued, the leer evident in his voice, "I'd like to see you try and squirm away, then."

Rui just looked confused, as Tsukushi laughed, "Not a chance. Unless you made me breakfast?"

"Is food the only thing you think about?" Having been awakened by the smell of fresh coffee, Doumyouji had finally made his way to the kitchen,

". . It's. . . It's better than the other options." Tsukushi murmured, her smile evaporating as quickly as it had appeared.

Soujiro hastened to intervene, before anything more hurtful was said, "Makino -- can we have our clothes back now?" His lifted eyebrow directed pointedly at the boxers she still wore.

"Not that you don't look absolutely stunning in our underwear. . . " Akira teased, grinning cheekily at the embarrassed blush spreading across Tsukushi's cheek.

"You. . .you. . " she stammered, "My clothes were ruined! I had to wear something!"

"Or, perhaps you just wanted to enjoy the association of something worm so close to our skin." Soujiro leered, "It's totally understandable. Many of my girlfriends felt the same way about those very boxers you have on now. Ahh. . . that brings back memories." Absently, he began to tick names off on his fingers, recalling women past and gone.

"She looked better in my clothes." The flat assertion startled everyone, including Doumyouji, whose mouth had just uttered those words unbidden.

"Really?" Akira turned wide eyes towards Tsukasa, as did every other soul in the room. "Did you remember something?! Tell us!"

"What? . . . No." Tsukasa blinked in confusion, his face wrinkling as he concentrated. Where had those words come from, when he couldn't even access the memory that had inspired them. But they resonated, he knew they did; knew that what he'd said was true, in his own mind at least -- she had looked better dressed in his old cast-offs, smelling of him, immersed in him. The memory was gone, but somehow the feeling remained. Or, perhaps it had only just now returned. Makino should not be parading around in any other man's clothes but his. That's all there was to it.

But as Doumyouji looked up, the wordless resolve hardening his eyes, he chanced to encounter Rui's glare, fixated on Tsukushi with a daunting kind of concentration. With a start, he recognized that look. It was the exact same expression creasing his own features. A look that said. 'She's mine, and I want the world to know it. This travesty here now is Wrong.' At least Rui had the memories to back up his desire. . .Tsukasa had naught but fragments, and his resolve faltered and fell away in a shower of doubt.

Meanwhile, Tsukushi was busy blushing and stammering under the queries of the eager playboys. The event that Tsukasa had not quite managed to remember, had been tumultuous, bittersweet, embarrassing as all hell. The day she'd sneaked into his mansion, borrowing his clothes after hers had been ruined crawling under shrubbery. The tension falling thick in the air, expectation and desire sparking. Passion, and fear. Moving too fast, afraid of losing her innocence, of giving too much, too soon. Tears and pleas, and the horrible humiliation of being walked in on -- and of being glad of the interruption. . . If only someone had interrupted her and Rui in their folly. . . But that was a regret she could not afford to have. No, now all she could do, was hug Akira's T-shirt tighter about her scrawny chest, and pretend that everything was all right. She was surrounded by her friends now, wrapped all around in the soothing patter of their voices, their warm scent close about her skin like the comforting embrace of a brother. They refused to pass judgement on her, they teased and flirted, and they listened. . .

As Tsukushi gave into their cajoling laughter, and recounted her memory, half hoping that the tale would spark something more inside Tsukasa's locked-in brain, she realized that the boys-- Akira and Soujiro-- they were all that kept her grounded. All that kept her from being carried away with Rui's longing and deep passions, all that kept her from losing herself in Tsukasa's painful needs and desperate attempts at salvation.

This is what friendship is, and these are the times that really matter No matter what happens, she thought, no matter how things turn out between Tsukasa and Rui and I, we will always remember these days here in the mountains, and the way things changed between us. It may not always be good, but it is always real. There is no falseness here .

There was a kind of comfort in that, and Tsukushi summoned up a smile for both Rui and Tsukasa, as well as the rest of her friends, as she went about piling food on her plate, and set to eating breakfast with a will.

TBC.

~~~Yeah, it's a short chapter, but it's more important than it may seem at first glance. (hey look, I updated 2 fics in two days, I'm so unjustifiably proud of myself for actually finishing a chapter whose first paragraph has been lurking on my hard drive for months. Pathetic.) ~cm~