Chapter 4- And Chaki Acquires a Boyfriend
That was refreshingly amusing –Ashley Yata
It was a loud screeching. Directly in my ear. Okay maybe not, but pretty close. I cracked open an eye and glanced at my battery powered watch and saw it was four in the morning.
No. Freaking. Way. This cannot be happening! Carrie can't be having shrieking contests with her friends at this ungodly hour! They…no! I won't stand for it! One more giggle…
As if on cue they all burst into a loud shriek. It's harmonically depressing. They screeched again and I decided to take action. I sleepily rolled of my bed and onto the hard, cold, floor. Crap, I gotta get out of that habit.
So I picked myself and the idiotic morons hadn't noticed anything amuck. I crept over to them with my wand in my hand and petrificus totalused them. They were totally shocked as they saw it was me. It was quite amusing to see their eyes wiggle around.
"Now I can sleep," I said tiredly and I turned and went back to my bed and promptly fell asleep.
When I woke up a few hours later they were still there but it seemed as if they fell asleep. I cast the counter spell and released them and I performed a quick memory charm. Memory charms are quite useful when it comes to pranks. I really don't know or care if it's illegal, but I know Monica, Chaki, and I would never do anything bad. Hannah maybe because she's Slytherin and ALL Slytherins are evil.
Yea. Right. In fact when I think about it, I'd probably do the worst in my sleep walking than Hannah would with that spell. Though I can get pretty nasty when I'm sleepwalking. Like the time I almost landed Hannah in the Hospital Wing when she was sleeping over with Chaki and Monica after a particularly nasty fight with my mom. I guess I had some anger and I took it out on Hannah.
Plus I was having some bizarre dream as well. I think in the end I was screaming so loud Eric had to come in and tackle me. I woke up and asked why he tackled me. Then I told him about my wonderful dream of spoons eating tape. Why, I really don't know. I really don't want to know what goes on in the pile of mush that sits between my ears.
Anyway I trudged down the stairs in my uniform and robes. When I got to the bottom I was glad I had actually managed to remember my bag since I faintly heard Carrie wake up and I really didn't want to go back upstairs.
I faintly registered someone talking to me, so I ignored them, as I do most things on Monday mornings. I'm alert for the first ten minutes, then I blank out and become alert after breakfast ends. But during breakfast, I'm told you could have a better conversation with a sack of potatoes.
Whoever was talking to me had walked up beside me as I made my way down to the Great Hall. I vaguely registered Charlie's voice as he rambled on about something. I think it was quidditch.
Since the beginning of last year, Charlie Weasley has been the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team. Surprisingly we've done really well. You see, I'm on the team as well; Eric and I are beaters. We won the quidditch cup last year and I think Charlie is already planning for this year. When he gets going, Charlie can rant on for hours about quidditch. Thankfully he doesn't do this very often and only dedicates a fourth of his brain towards quidditch.
"…and then we'll finish up with that."
I think he stopped talking. I looked up at him and said, "Huh? Did you say something?"
"You mean you haven't been paying attention this whole time? This is vital if we want the team to win this year!" he said, slightly exasperated.
"It's too early. Why did you have to start being obsessed now of all times?" I asked, more like mumbled. Luckily he understood me.
"McGonagall just explained the importance of winning this year. It's essential!" he explained while frantically waving his arms around.
"And why is it essential?"
"Because anytime this year there will be scouts for teams here scouting out future players! We must win to impress!" he explained, still waving his arms. I didn't really care until one of them smacked me in the head. I growled and smacked him really hard upside the head. I spotted Monica and Chaki, waved a little goodbye to the shocked Charlie and ran off to them.
"Morning!" Monica said cheerily. She had always been a morning person. I walked over to her and put my forehead on her shoulder and mumbles "Good little pillow."
Monica, being used to this, just shrugged and walked off towards the hall leaving me to almost fall over. Some friend she is. No, actually she was probably scared I was going to drool all over her again.
I stood there for a couple of minutes when I heard Charlie and Eric behind me and I decided it would be in my best interest to move before they overwhelmed me with their quidditch obsession.
I got into the Great Hall when I spotted my three friends sitting at the Ravenclaw table. I went over to them and sat down next to Hannah, who was asleep on the table, and across from Chaki, who was next to Monica. We were at the end of the table closest to the door, in case we needed to bolt at anytime during the meal. The morning mail came in and I could swear I heard someone scream. Probably a first year. Heh that gave me an idea to be overly dramatic, but Hannah, being Hannah, beat me to it.
"Oh my god! The owls are gonna EAT me! HELP!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. This caused nearly all the first years to simultaneously scream. It was quite amusing in my half delirious half asleep state of mind.
Halfway though breakfast Dumbledore cleared his throat, signaling that he wanted to make an announcement. The hall grew quiet as he stood up and spoke.
"Because she was not here last night, I will make this announcement this morning. Your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be Professor Nancy Pierell!" he announced cheerily.
This announcement caused Hannah to shoot up very suddenly and yell really loudly, "WHAT?"
"Hannah, sweetie!" the new teacher exclaimed very happily. It was creepy. She reminds me a little bit of Carrie. Wait, platinum blonde hair, dark roots, overload of makeup, yep, it's Carrie when she's fifty.
Hannah cowered behind me as I took a look at my timetable. Great. Potions first followed by a double period of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Just spiffy. Anyway, Hannah seemed close to tears, which is really strange. Monica and Chaki were staring at me like there was something wrong and Charlie and Eric were engaged in a mini food fight. Typical morning.
Breakfast came to an end, and Hannah and I headed off to Potions while Chaki and Monica headed off to their first class. I have most of my classes with Hannah because Dumbledore is slightly obsessed with house unity. It can get scary sometimes.
We seated ourselves next to one another and Snape can barreling in and glared at me. Oops. I think I lost the coveted teacher's pet position. Oh well, it just means I can't get away with as much stuff as I did last year.
"Now make this potion on the board," he growled, yes growled, and flicked the day's assignment on the board. He sat down and glared at the class. We all just assumed that we should work with the person next to us, so I turned to Hannah and we started.
The rest of the class was boring. But the day definitely got interesting during Defense Against the Dark Arts. I had that class with Hannah so we made our way over with idle chatter until Charlie and Eric decided it was in their best interest to walk with us.
"Hey darlin' what's up?" Charlie said cheerily as he threw his arm around my shoulder.
"Don't you have a girlfriend you can go bother?" I asked. Hannah was snickering behind me.
"Nope I'm single!" I heard a collective sighs of relief behind me. "Unless of course you're interested," he said wiggling his eyebrows. I jumped away, yanked Hannah's bag and brought it up into a graceful arc that smacked him directly in the face. He fell over and I gave a shocked Hannah back her bag.
"That was refreshingly amusing," I said as Hannah started giggling. "C'mon let's get to class." The three of us walked away and Charlie let out a groan. Suddenly, about ten second and third years were around him, obsessing at the chance to actually talk to the one and only Charlie Weasley.
"Was that such a smart idea?" Eric asked me after we had gotten out of earshot of the now pile of girls on Charlie.
"Probably not, be he still should know better than to play around like that. I have such fragile feelings," I said with a sniff at the end. Hannah started giggling and I grinned at her. She understood my drift and we raced off, leaving Eric there to walk alone. Awww, the poor bebe. He'll get over it.
We ran all the way to class and came to a halt outside the classroom. Hannah looked a bit scared at the thought of entering, so we just stood there until we had to in, unless we would have gotten in trouble for being late. Eric had somehow managed to slip past us and secured a table for four. Eric and Hannah sat next to each other on one end, so I was forced to sit next to Charlie when he got there. Great. Just my lucky day.
Charlie finally got there, and there was still no sign of the teacher. So we engaged in a small conversation.
"Pedophile."
"Jealous."
"As if."
"C'mon you know you want me."
"I'd rather sleep with Snape."
"Oh my GAWD," came a screech behind me. I recognized the voice as Sandra's. "You want to sleep with Snape?"
"No that's Charlie," I replied without turning around. Charlie just stared in horror as she acknowledged the new information I provided her and believed it. He spent the next few minutes trying to get her to not believe me, but she was a rock and immediately told her friends which cause Carrie to burst out in tears.
Meanwhile Hannah and Eric were trying to have a conversation, but from what I could tell they were both blushing so hard they couldn't talk without stuttering. I think that's cute. They make a cute couple. Now if one of them gets over the other and admits their feelings, then we'll be all set.
Anyway, the teacher finally came in and it was very scary. She was wearing bright pink robes with bright red lipstick. She immediately spotted Hannah and said, "Hannah! Darling! I've missed you!" She came over and engulfed the poor girl in a smothering hug. Hannah looked as it she was going to cry.
"Now onto the lesson!" she said after a few minutes. She wrote her name on the board with chalk and started over explaining every little thing on the first couple of pages of the textbook. It was almost as boring as History of Magic. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie trying desperately to stay awake because, unlike History of Magic, this class is actually quite important.
After quite a long time, class ended. Unfortunately for Hannah, she was called back. I waited for her outside the door and a couple of minutes later she practically sprinted out the door. I reached out and grabbed the back of her robes, only to trip her and have me fall on top of her. Wonderful. I rolled off of her, only to have her groan loudly. Luckily Professor Pierell was nowhere in sight.
"Ow."
"Obviously," I retorted to her comment.
"That wasn't very nice!"
"I never said I was nice." We got up and started walking towards lunch in the Great Hall.
"Yet people think you're the nicest girl of them all!"
"Ha, what have you been smoking lately?"
"You don't want to know," she said, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. We walked into lunch and sat down next to Monica and Chaki, who were giggling.
"Okay why the giggle fest?" I asked, curious as to what had gotten these two to giggle. Monica giggles sometimes, but I can literally count on half my hand the times I've seen Chaki giggle. Laugh maybe, but never the girly giggly giggle.
"Well, we were talking about History of Magic," Monica said before erupting into another fit of giggles.
"Spill it before I hurt something," Hannah threatened menacingly. Great, now she decides to be evil. Not way back when she could have helped me smack Charlie across the head a few times.
"Well," Monica said, grinning a half smirk-half grin, ya know, one of those 'It's-so-funny-and-amusing-but-I-have-to-hold-in-my-laughter-all-while-looking-like-the-professional-I-really-am' smiles. "There was this really cute guy, who just happens to be a year older than us, and also just happens to be named Edward," she paused, letting it sink in that she was talking about Edward Vogel, the hottest Ravenclaw in the whole school. His fan club could rival Charlie's, and let me tell you, the girls that mobbed Charlie in the hallway today were merely the tip of the tip of the iceberg. Edward was also the nicest and sweetest guy.
Good ol' Eddie had blackish brown hair and dreamy brown eyes that I even took a second glance at. And I never look at anyone twice, unless of course I have a crush on them. I shall never be one of those girls who will follow people around just because of what they look like. See if half the girls really knew what Charlie was like, they'd run as far away form him as they could. Instead they sit and stare at him like he's all that or something.
"…and he asked her out!" Now the three of them burst into giggles. Oops. I should have been paying attention there. Instead I was thinking about Charlie Weasley's fan club. Why the hell is he ALWAYS in my thoughts! Grr…I'm so mad at myself I could shoot something.
Suddenly something came in contact with my head. It was Hannah's hand.
"You look like you're going to kill something. You don't have a crush on Edward do you?" Chaki asked me, concern written on her face.
"Huh, no. I've never even talked to the kid. Sorry I'm just spacing out. I need to pull myself together. So what happened, you were all giggly before?"
Chaki's face lit up and she happily relayed the message that Edward had asked her out. I smiled at her and congratulated her and then I gave her some advice. Yeah, advice from me, whatta loada crap.
"You gotta call him Eddie," I said, giving her my advice. You should always make up nicknames for your boyfriends. It pisses them off to no end. Like I went out with a guy for about a week in third year and I had the most creative name for him. I think it was Jimmy-Bean. Heh, I think that's one of the reasons he broke up with me. The others could have been Eric practically stalking him because I'm his baby sister. Though actually I'm the older twin, by three minutes! I HAVE POWER!
"Eddie?" she questioned.
"Yea, Edward so boring, and it's so old. Just trust me. And if he doesn't like it, when you get pissed at him you can call him that. Though I think Eddie'll go over better than Jimmy Bean did…" I said, trailing off in thought.
"Ahh look at the lovely ladies and the ferocious beast," a cheery voice came from behind us. We were eating at the Gryffindor table, like we do every lunch. We have a schedule worked out. Ravenclaw is breakfast, Gryffindor is lunch, and Slytherin is dinner. With the exception of the welcoming feast, we always stick to this. Even with boyfriends throughout the years, we've stuck to this.
Oh, I remember when one of Hannah's boyfriends tried to get her to eat all her meals with him. We hung him from his toes in one of the rarely used corridors. We used a special spell so the string wouldn't come undone while he was hanging there. It was quite amusing to hear his shrieks. I don't think he and Hannah ever really broke up, because he never spoke to her after that.
I looked up and went, "Huh?" I turned my head and my face was again an inch apart from Charlie's. I flew backwards of the bench and shrieked. Yes I shrieked. Very scary. Hannah started laughing really hard, but luckily the rest of the school was too busy wrapped up in conversation to notice. I collected myself from off the floor, and sat down without even doing anything to Charlie.
Monica seemed to be the only one who wasn't surprised because she probably noticed the guacamole sauce sitting on the table. See, Dumbledore decided that for the first week back we would be trying foods from other countries. Anyway, she was the only one who I had told the amusing story of how Charlie had found out he was allergic to guacamole.
So I picked up the plate of it, yes it was on a plate instead of a dish, don't ask why, the house elves can get a bit creative sometimes, and shoved the whole thing in Charlie's face.
"You might want to go to Madam Pomfrey about that Charlie. You know how allergic you can get to guacamole, and we wouldn't want our spectacular seeker to get injured a week before practices begin," I said, all while smiling very sweetly. He looked very funny covered in guacamole.
"It…itches…" and with that said he dashed off towards the Hospital Wing.
"That was just cold," Eric said, apparently not amused by my antics.
"Oh C'mon Eric that was hilarious," Hannah said, for once not blushing. Eric blushed and mumbled something, but I was too pleased with myself to pursue it further.
The only thing that was worth mentioning is that Mr. Bartle hit on Chaki in Care of Magical Creatures. Again. I swear that man has an obsession with her. He also asked me how my mom was after class. Weird. Very weird. Mr. Bartle is a very disgusting old man. He's like fifty years old and he always acts like he's a little bit drunk. He's a pedophile and he has a daughter for whom I feel really bad for because of her annoying father. I think Mr. Bartle is higher up on the list of least favorite teachers of nearly everyone in the school.
The day wrapped up into evening and the week slowly progressed, homework piled on top of quidditch and soon we found ourselves staring at Halloween. And Halloween this year meant a ball.
Yessiree! That was a SUPER FAST update. I have no idea where the whole Eddie and Chaki thing came from, it just flew form my fingers. Anyway, I'll try to update soon and not skip a few months in between updates. Oh yes, and the comments made by some of the characters actually 'belong' to my friends (the roaring monster in my closet was bugging me about using her shirt). So it is not only my genius that comes up with these things. Heh. Me a genius. How AMUSING. Please don't hurt me for the title, I was out of ideas. Hmm I wonder what the look on her face is gonna be…
I don't own a thing.
Okay so I'll get to work on chapter five, seeing as that school ends in another six or so days. Then I'll be free THE WHOLE SUMMER!
WOOHOO!
Ashy OUT!