Free Mudbaths are Amusing
"You did not just shove my mattress out the window" –Monica Lanchez
Dumbledore did it again. He went off and pulled one right out of the closet of ways to torture students. Apparently, sticking with the whole muggle thing, we have to dress up like muggles. But the bad thing is that it's a masquerade party that we had assigned dates too. Yay. Of course you couldn't tell who your date was until the strike of midnight.
We were all given plain black masks and were told to alter them to match our costumes. Then once we got to the ball, the masks would activate or something and we would be drawn to our dates. I think I'll just wear my uniform or something. Hopefully my date won't be too upset.
Nah. Dress to impress! That's good ol' gramma's saying. Yeehaw! Now that's Professor Pierell's saying. Yep, she's from America. I think somewhere in the south? Boston, Texas? Yea that's it. Boston is the capital of Texas. I think the Houston Tea Party happened in Massachusetts, though I could be getting this all wrong. Geography isn't really my strong point.
Anyway, the ball is in two weeks and we get a Hogsmeade weekend before. Conveniently the clothes shop just got in a new order of clothes that are styled from three hundred years ago. Perfect.
I was lounging outside by myself. Hannah and Monica were off owling prank letters to random students and teachers and Chaki was in the library actually doing her homework. So I was all alone sitting by the lake.
Suddenly, across the lake, I saw a figure walking. Then a pink figure was running up quickly behind. I heard a loud yell when the pink figure collided with the dark figure and a loud screeching commenced.
"OH SNAPEY I GOT YOU LETTER AND I HAVE TO SAY I LOVE YOU TOO!" I think that's Professor Pierell. You see, it seems as if Pierell has developed a little crush on Snape in the past few months. Of course, being like Carrie, she swears it's love.
I felt something pull at me from my pocket. I grinned and pulled out a compact mirror. It was green and had a fox on it surrounded by deep purple roses, you know, the color red ones get when they dry up and die. I used to have them be white but then I watched a dozen roses that my dad got my mom shrivel up into a deep purple. I fell in love with the color and I changed it. Anyway I opened it and where there should have been makeup, there was a mirror. The one on the top part had purple behind it, the one on the bottom had light blue on it, and there was one that slid out from behind the top mirror that was red.
I opened it and three faces appeared. Hannah looked half sleep, while Chaki and Monica looked excited. I grinned; assuming what had happened across the lake was due to them.
"You sent a letter?" I asked them.
"Yup," Monica said, her grin widening to impossible sizes.
"Carrie's next," Chaki said, highly pleased with herself.
"When you send one to Carrie, make sure you include about how much he wants her to be a vegetarian. She's to dumb and way not perverted in that kind of sense to get it. How is she gonna get that vegetarians don't like sausages?"
"All I know is that you three are planning something evil and Ashley is being perverted. Again." Hannah said, finally starting to wake up.
"Hey! I'm not that perverted!" I said in defense of myself.
"Great, now you're talking to your compact mirror. What has this world come to?" a voice behind me asked.
I whipped around and shut the mirror while shoving it behind me.
"I didn't do it, I swear!" I said, the automatic response flew out of my mouth whenever I was caught doing something that was odd.
Charlie stood there with a highly amused look on his face. I glared at him and stalked past him, blatantly ignoring him. But does the boy get a clue? No, he's way too thick. Yea, I bet he wouldn't notice if I went up to him and kissed him on the lip.
Well, he might actually, but I won't try that.
"Are you and your friends going to Hogsmeade?" he asked me. I stopped and turned to face him.
"Yea, and why do you care," I said icily. At least I think I said it icily. I like to think that I can control my tone of voice. Although I could be wrong.
"Hey don't be an ice queen!" HA! Proof. "It's just that I am sick and tired of Eric's complaining and since you seem to be the person that deals with this kind of stuff well I wanted to ask you," he said, a slight concern on his face.
My face relaxed and I smiled. Wow, never thought I'd actually allow myself to smile at him, even though it was one of those fake ones.
"Yea, that would be good for them. I think Chaki is going with Eddie, so that leaves Monica, you, and me to pull this off. I need to talk to Monica about planning, so I'll get back to you," I said and I took off in a run.
"Practice at six!" he yelled after me. Great Quidditch practice, just what I needed right now. Oh well. I stalked back to the Ravenclaw tower, where I was currently camping out. The Ravenclaw common room is really cool. They have a bookshelf in there that gives you a book to read that with keep you the most entertained. It's odd, but very useful.
So I went in and up to the sixth year girls dorms and plopped down on the green poof couch there. Hannah said she claimed this because it was green and that made it Slytherin, but then I said I could claim the red poof couch because it was red and that made it Gryffindor. That shut her up, so now she puts them both together and sprawls across them and I have to hurt her before she moves.
I nodded off and the next thing I knew was a lump landing on me.
"Owwww," I moaned, and I heard a giggle a few feet away, and I immediately knew it was Monica. I performed my slick operation, where I just got up and threw Hannah off me. Now she was the one on the floor moaning. "That's what you get!" I announced.
"Hey Ashley, can I talk to you for a second?" Monica asked me.
"Sure!" I said brightly. I walked over to her and dragged her down the stairs, out of Ravenclaw, and all the way to the Room of Requirements. I shoved her in and stared at her, waiting for her to start.
Monica looked at me nervously and then began whilw twiddling her thumbs. She does that when she's nervous sometimes, "Well, there are these two guys, both equally great in themselves, but I can't decide which one to go to Hogsmeade with." She looked at me for guidance. Now normally she would ask Chaki, but Chaki was wrapped up in Eddie, and Hannah, well that will take some explaining. Hannah isn't the best person to go to for relationship advice.
Hannah is the kind of person who will tease you before she gives out advice. Her advice is actually quite good, but you have to get her to be serious. They only time I got her to be serious was when I burst out into tears. Anyway, I remember way back when I had my first boyfriend, Jim, or Jimmy-bean, every time I was near him, you could expect Hannah to go all 'awww, that's so cute.' Very annoying. So I could see why Monica would go to me.
"Which one's hotter?" I asked.
"Ashley!" she said, slightly offended and annoyed.
"Monica, if you can't decide on their personalities, then go with the looks. Then if you still feel bad, you can tell the other you'll go to Hogsmeade with him next time. Or you could play sick," I said with a wink. Monica coughed the fakest cough I had ever heard and then grinned at me. I grinned back at her and we went back to the Ravenclaw dorms.
The rest of the day flew by and before you know it, it was time for Quidditch practice. Hannah, Monica, and Chaki decided to watch us practice. Charlie was a bit skeptical, seeing Monica was a chaser for Ravenclaw, but a quick puppy eyed face from me won him over.
Practice went well until one of the bludgers I was smacking around went astray and crashed into the stands, just to the right of Hannah.
"A little more to the left next time, Ashley," Charlie said as he flew next to me.
"If it wasn't for the fact that we're fifty feet off the ground I'd seriously consider maiming you right now," I said as I glared at him.
"Oh, but you'd only be considering, see it would hurt you too much to completely destroy this beautiful face," he said, smirking back at me.
I started giggling, and I nearly lost my balance. I flew to the ground and burst out in complete laughter, laughing so hard that my stomach started hurting. When I finally stopped, I noticed the entire team standing in front of me. I pointed to Charlie, who was right in front of me and spoke.
"He said his face was beautiful," and I started giggling again.
"Hey!" he said, looking slightly hurt.
"You know, she has a point there," Terrence McDoogal, our keeper and in seventh year, one year ahead of me, Charlie, Eric, and all the other sixth years in our year, said and walked away laughing. Two of the chasers and Eric followed, leaving me with Michelle Talken, a girl two years behind us, and Charlie.
"I think your face is beautiful Charlie," Michelle said, grinning at him. Michelle has had a crush on Charlie even since she started school, although she wasn't as open about it as Carrie was. If she was, I might have to actually pity Charlie.
"Yea, but your opinion doesn't count," Charlie said, annoyed. He got up and stomped off towards the locker rooms. Hannah, Monica, and Chaki finally decided to come down to see what was going on, and Michelle ran off, probably to cry a little. I relayed this information to them three and I ran off to find Charlie.
I found him when he was coming out of the boys' locker room. I stomped up to him and pulled back my arm. Then I sent a punch flying straight into his face. He stumbled back at him and I glared at him with fire in my eyes as I spoke.
"That was for being and incredible jackass," I turned and stomped off, up to Ravenclaw where my friends were heading. When I got there I was seething. I was so mad, I think it was borderline unhealthy.
It just pissed me off. Well, he just pissed me off. He knew, HE KNEW, that Michelle had feelings for him. I know it took a lot of bravery on her part to say that, but he just threw it away like it didn't matter! Oh sure, I don't expect them to ever be a couple, but at least he could be a little nicer. What he did was really mean.
"Ashley, are you okay? You look like you want to murder that pillow," Monica asked, concerned because she had never seen me this mad before. Hell, I don't think I'VE seen me this mad before.
And that bastard was the one who did it. Here I thought he was nicer this year, and now I see what a total jackass he is! GOD. I need to hit something. I need to hit something now. Somehow, through my boiling anger, I noticed it was raining. That would mean there was mud. Now all we needed was a mattress.
I suddenly jumped up, my anger slightly dissipating, but only a little bit. I grabbed the mattress off of Monica's bed, since she also slept on a poof, well actually I dragged it off because it was kind of heavy. Then, with sheets on it and all that jazz, I gave the window a good kick and shoved that mattress out. I looked out and watched it fall down, imagining Charlie falling, along with all my anger.
"You did not just shove my mattress out the window," Monica said, a little agitated.
"Yup! I did!" I replied grinning. I suddenly occurred to me that if anyone saw the mattress, we'd be in trouble. "Hurry! Get into your bathing suits! We gotta get down there before anyone finds that mattress!" I said quickly, while running over to my trunk and pulling out my green bathing suit. I think people call it a tankini. It's like a bikini, but there's suit to cover your stomach. I dashed into the bathroom, changed, dashed out, and breathed a sigh of relief, when I saw them all changed into their swimsuits. Monica had a purple one like mine, except a different style, Hannah had a deep red bikini, but the bottom was shorts, and Chaki had a one piece.
We all ran down out side, ignoring the strange looks people were giving us, and right to the spot where the mattress should have been. Luckily it still was there and I dragged it to the edge of a hill.
"Now this is way better than stairs," I commented, as I surveyed the hill. Did I mention that this hill was very steep? The hill ended when it fell over a slight cliff of about two feet and into about five feet of water from the lake. Because it was still pouring out, we were soaking wet the minute we stepped out the door, the hill was coated in a thick layer of mud. I sent up the mattress at the top and lined it up so the rider would get them maximum air time.
I grinned and yelled at the top of my lungs while I was sliding down the hill, "BON VOYAGE!" And with that I flew off the mini cliff and into the water.
The water was actually warm, which was to be expected seeing as it was pouring out.
"Hey! C'mon we want a shot!" Hannah said very loudly from atop the newly christened Mt. Free Express Mud Bath. You know the hill should put up advertisements. Everyone would go for it. I can see it now! 'Free mud bath! Improve your skin! It only takes 10 seconds! You will be a flawless beauty!' Then the cheesy Barbie doll girl would appear and start talking about how awful her skin was and then she went for a roll and now she's perfect. Oh yes…the evil perfect things that appear on muggle TV. They should have their own race. I think there's a cult for them out there. Yes that's it. And they prey on poor unsuspecting girls.
You see, they find a girl who's an individual, and a deemed threat, and then the leader sticks her arm into this poor, poor individual and POOF! Instant clone. They probably have a book out there about how to make a clone in ten seconds.
Of course there's the evil scientists who inject themselves with an alien that crash landed on the planet 2000 years ago to see what happens, so lets not delve too deeply into the subject.
I finally got the mattress up the hill, and we spent the next half hour sliding down the hill. Then Monica made the biggest mistake of her life.
"I bet you want to do 'special things' with a special red head boy named Charlie on this mattress, ay?" she said jokingly.
Suddenly all my anger toward that…that...fiend…returned. I wordlessly tackled her, which sent her into Hannah and caused a mass confusion. Suddenly we were all sliding down the hill. Somehow the mattress had gotten in front of us, which slowed us considerably, so much that we didn't fall into the lake. The mattress did, and the giant squid that lived in the lake decided to make an appearance. It grabbed the mattress and disappeared from sight.
"My…mattress. ASHLEY!" a livid Monica screamed at me. I jumped up, and started scrambling up the hill. I finally made it, after much work, with Monica right on my heels. I took off for the castle, and luckily it was still raining, so the mud was cleansed off.
Well, I made it to the castle alive. Can't say much about the inside. See, right in the middle of the entrance hall was Charlie and Eric. Charlie looked a little upset and Eric seemed to be consoling him.
"MOVE!" I yelled at them as soon as I caught sight of them. Eric, whose back was facing me, turned and widened his eyes as I came crashing into him. This motion caused Eric to fall forward into Charlie. Monica toppled onto me, as did the other two.
"This is…odd," Eric said as he commented on his place in the pile. I heard Monica sneeze from up above. That couldn't be good. She might get even MORE mad at me, if that's possible.
"What is going on here?" the very stern voice of Professor McGonagall asked. I looked up and smiled my 'I'm totally innocent, I'm just the poor, abused, neglected victim' look. She gave me her stern look and helped us all up.
A few hours later, and a few lectures later (WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!) and after the extreme begging I gave to Monica, I was safely snuggled into the poof with a nice warm, soft blanket wrapped around me, and I was dressed in my favorite pjs. They consisted of large t-shirt that said 'If at first you don't succeed, the skydiving isn't for you' and a pair of Eric's boxer sthat he never had worn.
The boxers were from his obsession with the muggle game Final Fantasy and there creatures happened to be from the seventh game. I think they're called Chocobos, but THEY ARE SO CUTE! Oh I need to restrain from squealing. Really, people would think I was a pig or something.
Well I can feel myself drifting off to sleep so…goodn……….
SNORE Well the first part was sort of forced, but from Quidditch practice on I found my muse! My lovely angel coos Okay. Enough of that. So THANK YOU ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! I really appreciate it. Though I should probly do that…hmm.. Well ill see you next time and hopefully I'll get to Hogsmeade and what not. I suppose I could have made this chapter longer but… oh well
Oh yea and if you're not like me and aren't totally obsessed with FF7, here's a site that has a decent picture of a chocobo. I suppose you could always google it, but what fun would that be?
http/members. OUT