SPOT

I sent Match and some of my other boys over to Manhattan to tell Jack Kelly what had happened this evening and that Kat would be escorted back in the morning. I really did like the idea of sending those two fat bastards over to Kelly after we had beaten them almost to death, maybe he would have killed them. There's no telling how far Jack would go for his little sister. But there was no way to get their bodies from Brooklyn to Manhattan without drawing the attention of the bulls and that was something we definitely did not need. Instead we had left them beaten and broken on the docks those two would never again mess with Brooklyn or anything that belonged to them. I had lost much of the rage that had built inside of me but I could still feel it humming in my blood.

When I flung the door to the lodging house open it was to see Kat wrapped in a tattered blanket with Slouch kneeling between her legs and the sight pissed me off almost as much as those bastards on the dock.

"Well lookie 'ere boys, seems Kat Kelly'll let jist anyone touch 'er dese days. Whats da deal lil kitty, sellin papes ain't earnin ya enough pennies anymore," I spit out.

She had looked scared when we first came in but now she looked hurt, I could see it in her eyes, those big green eyes, Kat could never hide her emotions. But I was pissed and feeling something else I couldn't quite define but it was fueling my anger. The fact that she was soaking wet, wrapped in an old blanket with dirt and blood smeared on her face and her hair a wild mess, looking no older then the five year old girl I had once known meant nothing to me right then. I wanted to punish her for getting herself in trouble, I wanted to punish her for scaring me, no one has ever scared Spot Conlon and in that moment I hated her for making me feel that way.

"Whatcha gonna do now Kitty Kat, gonna reward all da boys a Brooklyn for savin ya, 'ave Slouch dere move outta way and give Dino a turn," I said gesturing to the tall Italian next to me.

It grew dead quiet in the lodging house at my last statement, the cheerful bullshitting and general screwing around by my boys had stopped. Slouch had frozen his mouth opening and closing like a fish, and then I shifted my gaze to meet Kats. She was still also except for the tears, big fat tears rolling down her face. I had wanted to kill those guys on the dock for making sweet little Kat Kelly cry but her I was the cause of this new bout of tears. Honestly it tore at my gut but I couldn't stop myself, I had to prove all the shit I had felt on the dock meant nothing. I was tough, I was emotionless and cold, I was Spot Conlon. I needed to prove it to my boys, to her, to myself. Slowly I stalked towards her.

"Come on Kitty, me first, I'se am da king a Brooklyn."

"Spot, Spot come on, I was jist tryin ta warm er up, she was gonna freeze ta death," Slouch finally sputtered out.

I reached out to stroke her hair, some sort of fucked up apology for what I was about to do but she jerked away from my touch, sliding closer to Slouch. My hand dropped to my side, swinging numbly back and forth.

"'Ere dat, Slouchie boy 'ere is denyin' tryin to git his reward," I spat out hating myself for this. "If she was ready ta give it up on da docks why wouldn't she be willin' ta give it up ta ya."

"Spot youse bein ridiculous, youse know dats not wat happened," Slouch growled out.

Kat finally finding her voice spoke up.

"Spot, please, I didn do anything, Ise swear, why would ya say dat."

I kept my eyes on her face, I watched the tears roll down, I heard the tremor, the hurt, the fear in her voice. The fear, Kat Kelly was afraid of me. After Jack I was the guy who protected her, was there for her.Even though she was only two years younger then me, she still seemed like a little girland she was afraid of me. I hated myself then, more then I hated the guys who hurt her, more then I hated her for scaring me and I needed her out of here. I couldn't look into those eyes anymore, in one night she was doing what most of the boroughs of New York had been trying to do for years, she was destroying Spot Conlon.

"Slouch git 'er da fuck back ta Manhattan, let Jackie boy deal wit 'er," I spat out.

I backed away from her then, breaking eye contact. Slouch dragged her to her feet and she stumbled still wrapped tight in the blanket. I could feel her gaze on me but I refused to look into her eyes again, I knew she was still crying, silent tears and I couldn't face that again.

"I said git 'er da FUCK OUT!"

Slouch picked Kat up then and moved quickly towards the door. I looked at her then, cradled in Slouch's arms like a child. I don't think I will ever forget this moment, she turns her head to look over Slouch's shoulder at me, I stare into those wide green eyes full of hurt, take in the wild auburn hair and the deep pink lips letting out small hysterical gasps of air. I hate myself. I am tough, cold and emotionless, I am Spot Conlon.