Hey everyone. THANK YOU for the reviews. And to all you guys who said this reminded you of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I've never actually read it, strangely enough. This chapter is a bit too long as it is, so I won't say anything else.
Up There- by Seigey. Rated T for whatever I said in Chapter 1.
I don't own Love Hina. There.
Chapter Two – Since when has Keitaro been this important?
Now, I'm not entirely sure what your position is regarding flashbacks. Some people are amused and entertained by then, yet some aren't. Why am I telling you this? Well the thing is, this chapter flashes back a little bit to help you understand what actually happened in Chapter One. Look, at least I'm TELLING you that I'm flashing back now. Some authors just flash back in stories without stating it to the reader, resulting in a large amount of confusion. Now, you're probably going to wonder how most of this next chapter is relevant to the first one. Trust me, it is. In a Chapter or Two, we'll be back to where the story started anyway.
Maybe if I stopped writing these stupid long introductions, the world would become a better place.
Anyway…2 DAYS EARLIER (See, its only like two days, not even two days, more like 46 hours)
8:00 AM - Wake up
8:30 AM - Eat
9:00 AM - Study
9:45 AM - Clean
10:15 AM - Study
10:45 AM -Break (yesssss)
11:45 AM - Eat
12:30 PM - Most Likely get Punched (by…well, you know already)
12:31 PM - Study
1:00 PM - Study
1:15 PM - Break (yesssss again)
4:00 PM - Clean
4:30 PM - Most Likely get Punched
4:33 PM - Study
6:20 PM - Eat
6:50 PM - Most Likely get Punched
6:51 PM - Most Likely get Punched
7:00 PM - Study
7:05 PM - Break (yesssss again again)
9:00 PM – Snuggle Time with Narusegawa (not really, but it never hurts to hope.)
11:00 PM - Sleep (YESSSSS).
Repeat Process
You shall receive three guesses as to whose daily schedule that was. Never mind, there lies no need; it's much too obvious. The first item that Keitaro's schedule concerns is "Wake up". This is what most humans, besides slackers and individuals that stay up until 4:00 AM partying, do in the morning. The next item on Keitaro's schedule was "Eat". This was one of his areas of expertise, as seen in Chapter 1 "If Help is Needed, Refer to Letters A, B, C, or D". The item following this was "Clean". This task, however, wasn't his best talent, and didn't make him feel too pleased. The next item on his to do list was to study. Though this sometimes didn't make a large difference in his knowledge, at least he quite was determined. The next task was entitled "Break (yesssss)" The (yesssss) part was obviously written to show his satisfaction in doing this. The time our…. well, not hero, but…our protagonist Keitaro's schedule was interrupted was between the second "Eat" and the first "Most Likely get Punched". At this time, instead of eating or getting punched, Keitaro was taking a break.
"Ah, it feels nice to relax when I can," said Keitaro. He was lying on his back looking up at the ceiling, his hands tucked behind his head. "Well I have to get back to studying soon…" Keitaro turned to glance towards the pile of books and papers he had been studying from earlier in the day. The stash of all the information he was required to know slightly intimidated him. "What the hell?" he said to himself. "Five more minutes, and I'll really get back up." Twenty-Seven minutes later, Keitaro was still lying on the floor, and now was nearly asleep. Suddenly, he heard loud footsteps sprinting into his room. Keitaro then quickly sat up to see who had entered.
"Oh, hi Kaolla…" Keitaro murmured. He was speaking quietly, for all the slacking off was making him quite exhausted.
"Keitaro!" she shouted, sitting down right in front of him, "You have to see this!"
"Look, I was about to go back to studying, so…AH!" The "ah" in Keitaro's previous line was the result of Kaolla Su pulling out a large jagged knife. "What are doing? Kids your age shouldn't even be touching those things!"
"Haha, don't worry, Keitaro," laughed Kaolla. "I don't have to cut you open. I mean, you could do it yourself if you want to."
"YOU WERE GOING TO CUT ME OPEN?" shouted Keitaro.
"Well…" Su looked down at the ground, seeming slightly shameful, "Only a little bit…"
"WHY?" Keitaro was flailing his arms about madly, rocking back and forth rapidly.
"So I can insert THIS thing into you!" Kaolla pulled out an extremely thin, black technological chip that couldn't have been over 2 inches wide.
"Why do you want to do THAT?" Keitaro had now stood up and backed away to one of the corners of his room.
"This chip contains micro-sensors that measure you're height above your current ground level, and then it submits the data it's receiving to THIS!" Kaolla pulled out a small flat shiny grey device that had about two dozen buttons on it, and a small screen on the same side the buttons were on.
"Introducing my latest invention…THE NARU-PUNCH CALCULATOR!" Keitaro was silent, most likely as the result of large confusion. He quickly sat back down on the floor.
"The Naru-Punch Calculator?" he repeated.
"Exactly," chirped Kaolla cheerfully. "This device already is programmed with all of the basic ratios and figures needed to determine many factors involved in Naru-Punching. Though its best feature is to take in the data gathered from this chip here, and show it on its screen. And this also STORES the data of your elevation above ground level when you get punched, and automatically calculates the average of all of them."
"You made this to get data from when I get hurt?" exclaimed Keitaro. "YOU'RE EXTRACTING FUN FROM MY PAIN?"
"Exactly!" shouted Su. "Now where do you want me to cut you?"
"You can't stick that knife in me!" shouted Keitaro. "Its wrong to take leisure out of somebody getting hurt! What you're doing has no moral value! You can't just CUT SOMEONE OPEN if they don't want to be!"
"I said it would only be a little bit," said Su quietly, as if what she was saying would actually change Keitaro's mind "Also, if you don't want me to take fun out of your pain, you probably won't want this…" She pulled out a very round looking helmet. It looked like someone getting blasted out of a cannon would where for head protection. It was striped pink and yellow, and had sparkles scattered all over it. On the front if the helmet, in shiny dark blue letters were the words "Reach for the Stars!" "It's something I made in my free time; the Naru-Punch Helmet."
"Huh?" Keitaro had quickly reached for the helmet from Kaolla and was examining it quite thoroughly.
"Whenever Naru's about to punch you, I thought you could put this on. But I suppose you don't really wanna do that, considering you don't find any of this fun…" Keitaro was able to sense the great disappointment in her voice, and started feeling slightly guilty.
"Well…" he started, still taking a look at all sides of the flashy helmet, "It's nice that you went out of the way to make this for me…but I'd probably look ridiculous in this. OWWWWWW!" The "OWWWWWW!" part in Keitaro's previous line was the result of Su finally cutting him (just a little bit) with the knife she had shown him earlier on in this second chapter. (Technically first in chronological order). Keitaro dropped the helmet in pain, and looked at his right knee to see a small, thin cut in the middle of it.
"See? You probably felt nothing!" laughed Kaolla, putting the knife aside. She then slipped the chip inside the tiny… wound, (Please don't try picturing that) then pulled a band-aid out of seemingly thin air and fixed him right up.
"If nothing means great pain and shock, then I guess you're right…" moaned Keitaro.
"Trust me, Keitaro," said Su, who was currently hopping randomly around Keitaro's room, "You'll be glad that I did this."
"Why?" asked Keitaro in large confusion.
"Because when the pain goes away, it'll feel nice."
"But at the moment, my knee hurts like a-
"Wait a minute!" Kaolla interrupted, who had somehow zipped to the other side of the room and about a quarter of a second. "I didn't know you had a daily schedule posted on your wall…"
"DON'T LOOK AT THAT!" shouted Keitaro, running towards Su to grab to snatch the schedule as quickly as possible. He now saw the error of his ways in writing, "Snuggle Time with Narusegawa" on it. Rapidly, Keitaro snatched his schedule from her and tossed it out the window.
"Hahaha, well that's no good," laughed Kaolla. "Now you'll have no idea what you need to do during the day."
"It doesn't matter," sighed Keitaro. "It's not like I really follow it too well."
: - ) : - ( : - 0 ): - \ : - D (: - p : - \ ): - • I: - I : - (: - X : -
After the pain in Keitaro's knee had reasonably decreased, he was able to concentrate on studying. That is, until about two minutes later until he got blatantly interrupted from his schedule again. He heard the sound of his door opening, and he turned to see who it was.
"Ah, Naru told me you where in here," said Seta, who took a few steps into Keitaro's room. He was holding a large transparent bottle that was filled to the top with a clear liquid that looked identical to water. "It seems like you're studying hard." He said cheerfully.
"Hi Seta," said Keitaro, standing up once again, "What do you need?" Seta looked downward at is bottle, then glanced at Keitaro again. "What's in there?" he asked, pointing to the bottle.
"In this bottle… is the largest discovery I've ever made and ever will make in my entire career."
"Let me guess. Is it something having to do with some ancient turtle civilization in some abandoned cave in some warm tropical island in some sea in the middle of nowhere?" asked Keitaro, rolling his eyes.
"I found this on a deserted island in the a great, warm blue sea in an abandoned cave. Its a fossil of one of the ancient turtle civilizations," said Seta happily, apparently not listening to what Keitaro was saying. "It has never been found before and is probably worth a gigantic fortune, probably millions."
"It looks like water…" said Keitaro, who frankly wasn't interested in the matter, even if it was expensive.
"There isn't really a name for it," continued Seta, clutching his discovery tightly "But I know for sure that this is no ordinary substance. Its thousands of years old and it was still preserved where it originally was. This is a formula that the ancient turtles imbibed. From what I've seen it do, it probably gave them their magical ability to fly, which has always astounded me. Think about it Keitaro, in modern day, have you EVER come across a flying turtle?"
"Uh, sorry to say this Seta, but there's a flying turtle here at Hinata Sou…"
"That's exactly right Keitaro, nobody's seen a flying turtle in the modern world. It's a complete miracle, and I've finally gotten the secret behind it." Seta's ears seemed to be completely blocked off, because all of Keitaro's responses didn't seem to effect him in any way, shape, or form. "I'm here to ask you a favor, Keitaro. I need you to watch over this priceless piece of history for me when I'm at a meeting."
"What? Seta, I can't do that! I'll probably end up breaking the bottle and messing everything up!" exclaimed Keitaro.
"Great, Keitaro! I'm very glad you agreed," said Seta cheerfully. "I really trust you Keitaro, so be very careful with this."
"But I said I couldn't, Seta! I already have too much to-
"Here you are," Seta interrupted. He handed Keitaro the large bottle, and without further question, he walked out of the room, humming a tune to himself. Keitaro found it extremely difficult not dropping the bottle, for he felt like falling over in complete stupidity.
"Well, I guess I don't really have a choice," though Keitaro grumpily. Carefully, he placed the bottle containing the expensive contents right on the floor, and then willingly went back to his studying. That is, until he was interrupted again about a minute or two minutes later, this time by Naru quickly sliding his door open.
"Agh!" Keitaro sighed exasperatedly. "Why does everybody need me for everything? Since when have I actually been important around here?"
"Since you've been Karninin," said Naru plainly. I was just wondering if you've seen…wow." The "wow" part of Naru's sentence came from the result of her noticing the large glass bottle that Seta gave him on the floor. "That's a really large water bottle."
"It's not a water bottle," said Keitaro, who had been looking at his book studying this entire time. "Technically its a fossil. It's actually worth millions or something. Seta gave it to me to watch over."
"Seta gave it to you?" exclaimed Naru. She stepped into Keitaro's room and closed in on Keitaro. "If you drop that, you're in for a-
"What's the big deal?" interrupted Keitaro, who finally looked up at Naru.
"You said it's worth a lot!" said Naru quickly, lying to Keitaro's response.
"Oh…I see what's happening. You're worried because this belongs to Seta!" shouted Keitaro, slightly triumphantly. "If this gets dropped, you'll be crushed for him."
"Keitaro, that's-
"Seriously!" interrupted Keitaro again. "You're near obsessed with him nowadays!"
"You're responsible for something expensive and you're a clumsy person! That's why-
"You don't care about the fossil. You just care about Seta. No, Seta's ALL that you care about!" Keitaro was becoming aware that he was going much, much too far. He also knew the painful result of this.
"AAAYYIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Keitaro screamed as he was launched into the sky by Naru's hard fist. Unfortunately, instead of returning safely and unhurt as he usually did, Keitaro fell back down to the ground about seven seconds later, and hit his head on a wall in his room. "OW!" he exclaimed in large surprise. He then completely collapsed onto the floor.
"I'm dizzy…dizzy….dizzy…" he repeated. It seemed apparent that bumping his head on a wall coming down from the sky had a negative effect on him.
"Serves you right," sighed Naru, "As always."
"Dizzy…double vision…dizzy…drooling…dizzy," Keitaro moaned.
"Stop being such a wimp," said Naru, wanting to leave the room instead of watching Keitaro roll on the floor in vertigo.
"Narusegawa, my head hit a WALL!" This was Keitaro's first full sentence since he had been hit. "I'm dizzy….can't get up…."
"Even I didn't think you were THIS weak." Naru was speaking almost softly at this point.
"WATER! That's it! Water….it'll get me outa this dizzy phase… I'm dizzy….need water…."
"You're making such a big production…"
"So what's changed then?" replied Keitaro, who still hadn't been able to rise from the floor. "So dizzy…need water….need water….." Keitaro then noticed a certain glass bottle on the floor about eight feet away from him. It was filled with clear liquid. "WATER!" he exclaimed. With the speed of light, he rushed over to Seta's fossil. He took the cap off of the bottle, and dumped every last drop of the contents onto himself. Now he was smiling, and wet for that matter.
"NO!" Naru shouted.
"Aah," Keitaro sighed, finally relaxing. "Wow, that felt nice…that's better. See, Narusegawa? Water does the trick. That's all I needed."
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"
"Huh?" Keitaro looked up, resulting in the liquid dripping from his hair getting into his eyes.
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Naru repeated, her eyes as wide as possible.
"What is it?" Keitaro laughed, shaking the liquid from his hair, kind of resembling a dog.
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE?"
"I poured some water over my head to help stop my dizziness and kind of wake me up, what's so…" This is the part where Keitaro notices the completely empty glass bottle lying on the floor in front of him. He gasped. "Oh god…"
"JUST AS I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T SINK ANY LOWER!" Naru shouted. She was inching towards him, her eyes glowing a reddish black color. At the same time, Keitaro heard familiar footsteps running towards the open doorway. He looked to see who it was. Su had stopped and was now in Keitaro's room, jumping up and down, holding the Naru-Punch calculator, and staring at its screen in glee.
"15 KILOMETERS!" screamed Kaolla eagerly. "That must have been one amazing punch, Naru!"
All right, the chapter ends here. It's really long, I know. But whatever. I really hoped you enjoyed this particular chapter, cause I went through hell making it. Chapter 3 is coming soon, hopefully. Until then….do something else, cause its probably gonna be a week or so. Also, I'd appreciate if you'd review, cause I want to know how I'm doing. Until next time, seeya.