Author's note : Sorry for the delay in update-age, I have quite a few posts of this written too, I'll get them up fasty fast. Thanks for reading, lol, I know, this story is so crazy…I'm loathe to continue it.

Words failed me. I limped back to him, my mind racing. So this had to be a hallucination. Just a silly hallucination. I would wake up at any moment and find myself in some emergency room hooked to tubes with doctors standing over me telling me I had quite a bump on the head and was lucky to be alive. Yes, that would be it. I was embellishing on this beautiful scene in my mind when he spoke again, his tone pinched with pain.

"What in Sith did you do that for!" He scrubbed desperately at his eyes, trying to rid them of the burning irritant with little success. "I was trying to help you—" The young Jedi shuddered, involuntary tears coursing down his cheeks.

"Oh, um, yes, uh...sorry about that..." I heard myself murmur distractedly. Inside, I wanted to laugh hysterically. I was talking to Qui-Gon Jinn. I tried to calm the insane fangirl within me and come to my senses. "Yeah-here, you're gonna want to flush your eyes with water..." I looked around. "Okay, I don't have any water. Um, keep rubbing your eyes then."

He gave a little choked noise and unhooked a small canister of water, pouring it over his face, and then resumed frantic rubbing. "What was that! Is it permanent?"

I sat down uneasily, still feeling slightly dizzy. "No...no..." I mumbled absently, watching him. "It's just a temporary disabling thing...you won't go blind or anything..."

Qui-Gon squeezed his eyes closed. "It feels like it's burning my whole face..."

"Yeah, it won't burn your eyes out, don't worry." I mused, chewing my lip, studying him. "But I am sorry. I thought you were attacking me or something..."

He glared at me through streaming eyes. "I said I was checking the cut on your shoulder. I told you what I was doing!"

"Hmmm.." I murmured, as noncommital as I could. It seemed a good time for this hallucination to end.

The boy gave his eyes a final dispirited rub, and straightened up. "How did you get all the way out here, anyway?" He nodded at my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

For the first time I really noticed that I was bleeding. My jeans were ragged and bloody, and I had a nasty scrape across one shoulder. I didn't know much about hallucinations, but I thought as a general rule you weren't supposed to hurt yourself in them. A mild uneasiness settled in the region of my stomach. I squinted at Qui-Gon. "uh..." I noticed he flinched when I moved, probably still wary of my Pepper spray. "I really don't know. I think I'm okay..." I brushed off my jeans and winced. "Where are we?"

He glanced around. "I was hoping you might tell me that." He sighed, casting a weary eye around the scrubby shrubs and rocky dirt. "I was chased out here, uh, negotiations didn't go so well...it looks like just a wasteland to me."

I rolled my eyes. Silly Qui-Gon-hallucination.

"Well, no duh, I can see it's a wasteland." I ignored the strange look he was giving me. "I mean, what planet are we on? How long until this silly dream ends?" A sudden random thought occurred to me. I vaguely remembered a Simpson's episode where something like this had happened-a guardian angel had taken on the form of a fictional character to prove a point. Perhaps I should not have thought aloud, however.

I clapped my hands with delight at my own cleverness. "OH! Maybe you're my guardian angel, taking on the form of someone I recognize so I won't be weirded out by your powerful angel-form! Ha, I get it now! So, what do I get, three wishes? A second shot at life?" I started at him expectantly.

Qui-Gon didn't look quite as thrilled at my realization. In fact, he looked rather unsure. He took a few steps backward, as if expecting me to charge at him any moment. "What are you...?" I could read blank confusion in his eyes. "What!"

"Um..." I stalled, pinching myself repeatedly, beginning to feel a little bit more than simply nervous. Something told me that this was nothing like the aforementioned Simpson's episode. "Never mind, the heat must be getting to me..." I attempted a chuckle, but I doubted with Qui-Gon one could just laugh anything off. I could almost see the different thoughts whirling behind his intense blue eyes. I wanted so badly to just break down and explain everything. It was Qui-Gon Jinn, if anyone in the universe would understand...if anyone could understand, it would be him, and yet...

I didn't really know him. I had written him in stories for years, but I hadn't ever met him. Yet he was a stranger to me. And now I was beginning to think my characterization had been off the whole time.

This was just getting too strange. I shook my head, starting to feel dizzy, and turned away from him. "Uh, I'll just go now, sorry about the can of mace-see ya 'round, Quigs...oh dear..." I staggered off.

"What did you just call me!" His voice was almost panicked-at least, as close to panic as I had ever heard it.

"Um..." I was such an idiot. I wanted to cry. Maybe he would kill me for being annoying... "I...don't...remember?" I bluffed, staggering away from him.

"Wait, wait, slow down..how did you...?" In about two steps he covered the distance I had painfully placed between him and myself. He seemed about to ask something, but then stopped and frowned. "Do you know what heat exhaustion is? Maybe you ought not to go wandering off..." He reached out, to take my hand, I suppose, but obviously thinking better of it, stopped himself.

"Yeah, believe me, that's the least of my problems. Now leave me alone or I'll spray you again..." I tried to limp away.

"What's your name?" He looked almost bemused and I could see that glazed over 'love for pathetic life form' look beginning to flicker in his eyes.. I wanted to hit him.

"Charm..." I muttered my own name automatically, trying to stop my head from spinning so much. It was really so hot... I paused, rubbing my temples. I felt like I was going to be sick. If this was all really just some sort of hallucination, then it was a rather crappy one.

"That's an odd name."

"Yeah, well, maybe I think Qui-Gon is an odd name!" I scoffed, turning back to him. I watched his face drain of color and then remembered that he hadn't introduced himself yet. Whoops. "I mean, I hear some people are called Qui-Gon-in this galaxy that is-heh-of course this galaxy, what other galaxies are there-but, it's an odd name, just, erm, in passing, don't you think?" I heard myself give a high-pitched, frightened laugh. "Not saying that your name is Qui-Gon or something, is it? Haha, that would be a freaky coincidence!" I tried to backtrack, but it was a sad, futile attempt. I was just digging myself into a deeper pit. I sighed, fanning myself with one hand. "So, um, the heat is really hot, wouldn't you say, whoever you are?"

He stared at me for a very long time. It was far too difficult for me to meet his eyes, so instead I stared down awkwardly and shifted my weight from one foot to another. I tried not to think about how stupid I must have sounded. I actually tried to go to my happy place, but perhaps the truck had knocked it out of me.

Finally, the Padawan spoke. His eyes were narrowed in concentration, his normally soft tone tinged with intensity. "Who are you, really?"

"Charm. I told you. I don't know. Leave me alone." I staggered off, trying to concentrate on not throwing up. That would be really great-to puke all over Qui-Gon Jinn. It would cap off the day's events rather nicely. I stumbled over a rock in my effort to get away from him, but I didn't fall. He had me by the back of my shirt, apparently.

"Alright, Charm, or whatever your name is," Qui-Gon sighed, gently pulling me back. "you're obviously suffering from heat exhaustion, and so I'm choosing to ignore the fact that I know you are being completely deceitful.." He swallowed; obviously this interview was taking a lot out of him. I almost felt sorry for him, really. He continued on. "But we need to get out of the suns and back to the city somehow. Maybe then we can find your family..."

Ah, I was charity. I smirked. How quaint.

"...or where ever you belong. My Master is in orbit, if we could get a hold of him, perhaps he could use his tracker to find us-do you have a comm link?"

"I've got a cell phone, but I think it's broken, the truck kind of hit it..."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at me. "The truck?"

I was about to reply, when something brushed over my hair. I gave a little start, and whirled. I could have sworn I heard a soft hissing sound... "Did-did you see that?"

Qui-Gon hesitated. Another little hiss sang through the air, and I saw a small object zip past my ear.

"Ewww, bees!" I yelped, squirming around. "I hate bees, ew, Qui-Gon, get them off!" I didn't mind so much the fact that I sounded like a whiney little girl, I really didn't want a wasp to land in my hair. With my luck, it would be some sort of poison wasp... "What was that! Is it on me!"

Qui-Gon stared in the direction from whence the little missiles had come. His eyes narrowed. "Charm, get down!"

I dropped instinctively, not really thinking about what I was doing until I was back on the ground. "Um, what is it?"

"I want you to stay right there next to that boulder...don't move..." he ordered, striding off in the direction of the wasps. The boy paused, and then gave me a considering look. "Wait-you ought to take this." He tossed a black object my way. "Do you know how to use that?"

I stared at the thing I had just barely managed to catch, and my breathing stopped for a moment. It was a blaster. A real, actual blaster. I looked back up at him with large eyes.

"Well?"

"Ah..." I looked down at the blaster in my hands. I had never really shot a gun before-well, not a real gun. But when I was a child I had one of those nifty NERF plastic guns, and once my brother had shot me in the leg with his b.b. gun. I assumed that was enough knowledge to be considered 'gun savvy.' I smiled up at Qui-Gon. "of course I know how to use it."

His gaze lingered on mine for a few seconds, long enough for me to know he knew I was lying, but he moved on anyway. I don't think he had a choice. "Right, well, don't move from that spot...I'll be back in a moment..."

I nodded and waved him off, happy to be left alone to inspect the blaster at my own leisure. It was groovy, really. My eyes were almost glowing as I stroked the black metal casing. I wondered idly how much I could pawn it off for on Ebay. Ah, Ebay. The marketplace of the gods!

I amused myself for several moments just looking at the blaster, but soon my curiosity got the better of me. I wondered what it would be like to shoot it, just once. Like in the movies. I glanced around. Qui-Gon was still off playing boy scout, no one would know if I were to shoot it... and Qui-Gon had never quite said not to shoot it...he just said to stay by the boulder. In fact, he wouldn't have asked if I knew how to shoot it if he hadn't wanted me to shoot it. The smile on my face grew as conviction blossomed inside me. Yes, I had to shoot this blaster, just once.

But what to hit? I scanned the desert terrain thoughtfully, trying to pick out an acceptable target. I wanted to hit something substantial, just zapping a rock would not do. The area around me was rather nondescript, it was a typical scrubby, rocky desert. There was a patch of skeleton trees and bushes here and there, and the occasional huge rock. I saw a few brownish lizards skittering over the rocks, but for while I was stupid, I was not particularly cruel, so I left them be. And then, then I saw it. Smack in the center of my vision was a juicy-looking cactus. It was perfect. Thick, turgid leaves stood out from the nest of prickles, creating an exceptional target. I grinned, happily. That was it.

I lined up the end of the blaster with the shrub and took aim. I seldom thought before I acted but this time I felt myself hesitate. I wanted this to be really, really cool.

I pulled the discharge trigger, but did not release for a moment. I remembered from playing 'Jedi Outcast' that this made the blast more powerful.

With a happy smile I released the trigger.

The discharge hurled me backward as the blaster exploded out a bolt of bright light. I shrieked, dropped it, and heard a troublesome explosion as a result. My eyes squeezed shut in terror.

The noise echoed back at me across the rocks ominously. There was a soft shower of pebbles and dust, and then, silence.

When I finally ventured to open one eye, and saw the blaster smoking on the ground a few feet from where I was now. I looked up hesitantly. The bush was still there, but most of the terrain around it had been nicely scorched black. A few rocks had been blasted open, and some of the weeds were on fire. My mouth gaped at the destruction I had caused.

"Oooo..." I merrily reached for the blaster. "Let's do that again!"

"CHARM!" Qui-Gon's voice, shrill with panic reached my ears.

"Oh no, the cops are here..." I muttered, dropping the blaster again, trying to look innocent. He stormed into my range of vision, looking horrified.

"What did you do! You just gave away our position!"

My cheeks flushed. "Our...ah...what? Um...no, no I didn't...what are you..."

A shrill scream interrupted my excuses. As I watched in horror, a tribe of natives emerged from the bush, whooping and shrieking and wielding blowguns. They didn't look particularly friendly, come to think.

"...oh..."