A/N Just so you know, Robin is still in Paris, and doesn't have a role in this story. Also, just a warning, this chapter is going to be somewhat darker than the others, and reveal some of the problems that Courtney has developed since her breakup with Jason. Don't forget that this story is about Journey, although sometimes, it might seem like it's not.

Chapter 4

Sam was in the kitchen, trying to cook something when she heard the door slam. Jason was home.

"Jason, I'm in here," Sam called out. I wonder where he's been? I wonder if he's seen…Sam, stop overreacting. If he has seen her, he would tell you, right?

"Jason?" she called again, as she wandered out. She saw him standing by the window next to the pool table, looking out. She came up behind him and hugged him. His body immediately tensed up. "Jason, baby, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Just somebody I met, is all." She waited for him to say who it was, but he didn't finish.

"Oh," Sam took a deep breath. "Okay Jason, I think I know who you met. Courtney, right?" A slight intake of breath from Jason told her she was.

"I know you probably don't understand why I didn't tell you, but I had my reasons. Jason, you have to believe me." She paused to see if he was still listening. He gave a slight nod, so she continued. "Jason, I usually don't lie about these things, but I'm very insecure about Courtney. She was your first real love after Robin, the first person you had opened up to in a long time. Sometimes, the way you look when you talk about her…I don't know. She changed you, Jason." Sam gulped. "Me and you started going out a long time after your divorce, and things were going really well. You are to me what Courtney was to you. You were the first person who took care of me, actually listened to what I wanted to say." She stared down at her hands. "When you had your accident," she halted, feeling the words caught in her throat, and the tears start to burn at the back of her eyes. "When you had your accident," she began again, "I thought I had lost you forever, and then, when you were able to pull through, it was like a miracle. I have never wanted anything more than I wanted you to pull through, Jason." Her voice was barely above a whisper now. "I just wanted to have you to myself for a few days. I guess all I can really say now is that I'm sorry."

Jason sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. What Sam was saying sounded sincere, but he still couldn't believe she hid something this big from him, and for this long! He couldn't think clearly, and he knew that if he stayed here another second, he would say something he was going to regret later. "I don't know, Sam. I need time to process this information," he said, as he grabbed his leather jacket from the back of the couch and started heading towards the door.

"Jason, wait, where are you going? Jason, please don't leave, please." It came out as a whimper. Damn, Sam thought. Why do I always sound so needy? She hated herself for sounding like this, but she couldn't help it. Every inch of her was screaming that she should do anything to stop him from leaving, but she knew if she tried, she would surely lose him permanently.

"Sam, I just need some time to myself. I'm going to take a walk. I'll be back in…I'll just be back soon, okay?" He strode out and slammed the door behind him.

Sam sunk down on the couch, the tears flowing freely down her face now, alone. She couldn't help but wonder if she had lost him already.

Jason was walking near the docks. It had been about three hours since he had left the penthouse, but he didn't have even the slightest desire to go back. It was starting to get late, and the street lights were on. As he was walking past an alley, he heard the sound of voices resounding from within, a male and a female. The female voice sounded oddly familiar. He couldn't quite remember where he had heard that...Courtney! It was Courtney in there .He headed directly towards it now, just in time to see her slipping a couple of small plastic packets into her purse before handing the boy something. The boy seemed about her age, in his early twenties. He was slim, wearing a black sweatshirt with the hood pulled up, a cigarette dangling from his lips.Jason saw the guy touch Courtney on her elbow, whispering something in her ear. She laughed at him, swatting his arm away. Jason felt an odd feeling rise up in the pit of his stomach. He didn't like the way that guy was touching her, as if he owned her. Why do you care, Jason? His conscience belittled him. You hardly know her, or at least what you remember of her. And, in case you're forgetting, you dumped her for Sam.

Jason was so preoccupied thinking of what Courtney was doing that he hadn't realized they could see him just as easily as he could see them. The guy with Courtney was the first to notice, and he started coming towards Jason. "Hey tough guy, what do you think you're doing, trying to eavesdrop on our private conversation?" Courtney looked up and, realizing who it was, ran after the man, before he could do anything stupid like try to hit Jason. Jason might have amnesia right now, but she knew that wouldn't stop his reflexes from kicking in.

"Wait, Johnny, he's a friend."

The man halted, and turned around. He rolled his eyes and said, "Alright, baby, I'll leave him alone…for know. The things I do for you." With that, he slowly sauntered away, stopping once to glance over his shoulder.

Turning to Jason, she said, "Just ignore Johnny, he can get a little bit weird sometimes." She laughed loudly, for no apparent reason. Jason looked closely at her, for the first time that night, and realized she looked completely different from when he had met her earlier that morning. Her eyes was rimmed with thick lines of black kohl. Her hair was loose and flowing, unlike the tight pony tail she was wearing earlier that day. I wonder how it would feel to run my fingers through that hair, Jason thought. He shook his head to clear himself of these thoughts. His eyes went to her clothes. She was wearing a tight black dress, gripping her in all the right spots, and very high heels that only served to further lengthen her already long legs. Jason found himself thinking of stroking her in all those places where the dress gripped. Stop it, Jason, you shouldn't be thinking about her like this. You're in a relationship with Sam. Even in the state it's in right now, you shouldn't be thinking about another woman the minute you walk away from your girlfriend. Although it does explain quite a bit about why Sam behaved the way she did. If I acted like this before my memory loss, no wonder Sam was insecure.

He forced himself to concentrate on what she was saying. It was then that he noticed she was slurring her words, heavily. He brought himself to look into her eyes, afraid of what he would see. Her pupils were dilated, and her blue eyes seemed abnormally dark. The harsh street lights threw long shadows on her pale face, and her gaunt frame seemed like she hadn't eaten in weeks. She was laughing again. Everything about her seemed exaggerated, like someone had pressed the fast forward button on the remote. The jerky way she moved, the way she was walking, the way she was laughing, throwing her head back. Damn, she's high on something.

"So anyways, I went to this awesome rave the other night, and that's where I met Johnny." She stopped talking, and noticing that he was staring at her. "Alright Jason, you've been staring at me this entire time. What is it? Do you think I look hot in this dress?" She ran her hands down the sides of her body slowly, watching him watch her. Jason gulped hard, involuntarily. "Why don't we," focus Jason, focus, don't look at her body, "Why don't we, um, sit down for a while." He gestured towards one of the park benches.

After he sat down, she plopped down on his lap and put her arms around him. "Courtney, maybe this isn't the best idea, you sitting on my lap I mean." He didn't know if he could keep from kissing her if she remained there for a second longer. She pouted exaggeratedely and said, "Fine, I'll sit next to you." Her idea of sitting next to him was almost as bad as sitting in his lap. She dropped down beside him and pressed her thigh against his. He gulped quickly again and then looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was staring directly at him and grinning. All of a sudden, he was at a loss for words.

"Courtney." "Jason," she cut off "Just shut up and kiss me." Jason's mouth hung open. She couldn't have possibly said what he thought. No, he must have heard wrong. She laughed again, before pressing her lips to his, grinding her body against him in the process. Jason fought to control himself. "Courtney…" he trailed off as he felt his body respond to the actions of her. Stop it, he thought. You shouldn't be doing this. It was when he felt her giggling against his lips that brought him back to reality. This wasn't really her. He pulled away gently. "Courtney, stop, you don't know what you're doing."

Courtney pushed his arms away roughly as she separated herself from him. "What's the matter, Jason, you don't like your women taking charge? Do you only like little women who let you have your way with everything?" She started swaggering away from him as she continued.

"I don't know what I'm doing? You're right, I really don't. I'm the stupid idiot who waited around for you for several months, just so you could throw in my face that you love that little slut! She broke up that family that you claimed so much to love, Jason. Sonny and Carly, the people who you always put before us, the ones you always rushed to help when we were married. You know what, Jason, I know exactly what I'm doing. I know who I love and who I hate, and I stick with it. I don't claim to love someone one moment, and then just drop them so I can hop into bed with someone else." She started walking away even faster, until she tripped and fell.

Jason rushed to her side, picking her off the ground. She wasn't even able to lift herself up. "Courtney, are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Let me take you home." She was shaking, her bony arms hugging her waist, and her teeth chattering in her mouth. "God, you're shivering. Here, take my coat." He was just about to put his leather jacket around her when he was cut off by Courtney pushing his arm away again. This time, when she spoke, her voice was eerily quiet, in a way more disturbing then when she was laughing.

"Where were you, Jason, when I was crying myself to sleep every night? Did you offer me your coat then? When you told me that you made Sam pregnant, that you were going to marry her? Where were you when I first started experimenting with drugs? Did you ask me if I was okay then? Did you ask me if I was hurt then? I've been living on my own for some time now, Jason. I think I can get myself home." She slowly walked away, still swaggering. All Jason could do was watch as her silouette grew smaller in the dark. All he could do was watch and pray that she get home safe, that no sicko decided to take advantage of her condition.

Jason sank back down onto the park bench. He stared in agony into the dark. What had he done to that girl? How different she was from the woman he saw that morning! If only he could remember what he was like before the accident.

After a long while, Jason finally picked himself off the bench and ambled back to the penthouse. When he got there, all the lights were off and Sam was already asleep. As he pulled his socks and shoes off, and climbed in bed with her, he checked the time. 1:00 am. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to forget the happenings of the night. The image of that frail face, the pale, translucent skin, and those diluted eyes, was permanently etched onto the back of his eyelids, and he knew sleep would be a long time coming.