Chapter Four: The Nutters plan their day.

"What exactly is there to do here?" Came the slithering speech of Severus Snape, who now, was glancing around the five star hotel with as much dislike in his gaze as that towards Harry. The glittering lights and blasting of the Rod Stewart song 'The Way You Look Tonight' were really starting to get to the ex-potion's master of Hogwarts.

He was not alone.

Lucius Malfoy was also getting rather annoyed with the music choice, as he would have much preferred Barry Manilow and Copacabana.

"Well, the map of the hotel says it sports six diverse pools, all in the same area…" read Voldemort, raising a skin eyebrow at the thought of so many pools…which would obviously mean that there were at least 100 people in each pool….multiplied by six…that would mean that there were 600 people he could torture! Bellatrix obviously saw the look of pure bliss and delight in his eyes, because she then piped up,

"No hexing people at the hotel. This is where we are staying my lord…if they kick us out we'll have to stay at the Motel 6 across the way, and it did not look too classy in my opinion…and if I have a cockroach crawling on me in the night, I would murder you all."

And they knew she wasn't kidding.

Voldemort pouted and opened his mouth to say something, but Narcissa cut in quite quickly, "we're going to be at Disneyland tomorrow, you can secretly hex and curse all you want…but we're only here at the hotel for three days, so I think you will be able to stand it."

Voldemort finally resigned and decided that he had been almost dead for thirteen or so years, so three days he could more than likely stand, and be just fine.

After much deliberation, the group finally decided that Voldemort and Peter would check out the pool, Cissa and Bellatrix would go to the gift shop and see if they could get some bargains, Rodolphus and Rabastan wanted nothing more than a nap in their rooms (even though they had been quite gung-ho about the whole traipsing about the hotel when coming down on the elevator), Lucius and Severus were going to go to the happy hour at the little cocktail and bar restaurant near the lobby, Fenrir and Draco decided that the arcade seemed the finest idea out of them all (funnily enough, these were their room arrangements too, so it worked quite well.).

"I don't look good in a swimsuit." Voldemort pouted as he stared at the chubby man walking beside him, Peter's silver hand gleaming in the sunlight as he held onto their towels as if his life depended on it. Indeed the pamphlet had been correct, as there were six different pools, each in the different shape of fruits and Disney characters.

"Oh yes you do my lord." Peter nodded, lying through his pointy teeth as he cowered beside the taller, greener man.

"I'll believe you then." The Dark Lord had just gotten over the fact that he had no nose (why should it matter as long as everything else was intact?), so having to put on a Speedo was rather intimidating. Peter had refused the swimming shorts when he saw them in the store, because they had skulls embroidered on them, and he was afraid it would attract attention.

Situating themselves upon the lounge chairs, Peter took out the SPF 500 sunscreen. He squirted it onto his pudgy un-silver finger and smeared it on his nose (at which, Voldemort scowled and did the same over the flatness of his 'nose', only to wince and hold back tears as he accidentally inhaled some). Taking off their robes, they leaned back in the sun, watching the happy people as they splashed and cavorted around the waterworks.

"Snow globe!" Cissa shrieked as she plastered her face against the glass window looking into the gift shop. The one she was giggling at and sighing about happened to have Cinderella and Prince Charming swirling around in the snow. Looking around furtively, and having Bellatrix block anyone's view, she flicked her wand and made Prince Charming's hair lengthen and turn bright blonde. "The perfect souvenir!" She smiled and picked it up, taking it to the counter to pay for it, and get it gift wrapped. It would look absolutely perfect on the Malfoy Mantelpiece. The cashier gave a strange look as he glanced towards the man in the globe, and gave her a discount for an error in manufacturing, to which, Narcissa giggled in glee, and watched as Bellatrix paid for an Evil Maleficent hat and veil in purple and green, which she promptly stuck on top of her thick black hair.

"How do I look Cissa?" She asked proudly, pouting her lips in supermodel fashion.

"Lovely Dahling," Narcissa drawled in return, beckoning her sister to twirl around, which Bella did, and Cissa clapped while children stared at them with raised eyebrows, wondering if they had mental issues.

After the purchases, they sneaked into the little movie theatre, and sat down with a bucket of greasy popcorn and settled to watch '101 Dalmatians'.

"Firewhiskey please." The elder Malfoy man asked in dignified air, setting himself down beside Severus on a bar stool, which had you sitting on Mickey's face.

"I'm sorry sir? I've never heard of those before..." The bartender stated with quirked brows, glancing back up at the rows of various alcoholic beverages he was forced to pour and watch day in day out.

"What do you have then?" Severus hissed as he peered at the odd looking labels, trying to find a "Phinneus' Best", or "Dragonhide Sting", unfortunately it was to no avail.

"We have margaritas, martinis, hurricanes, scorpions, vodka and soda, scotch, whiskey sours, pińa coladas…." The man went on and on, listing off the various brews and drinks from memory. He had obviously been here a while, judging by the memory, and the fact his nametag "Hello I'm Earl" looked a little on the shabby side.

"Um. Well, two Scorpions please then." Lucius decided, slapping a credit card on the table as he had seen cowboys do with cash in the old muggle western films he secretly adored. The bartender nodded and went to making them, albeit slowly, which got on the two powerful wizards' nerves, for at any other Wizarding pub, it would have been brewed and mixed in the blink of an eye.

"Here you go." Earl stated emotionlessly as he slid the drinks towards the two men; in large, bowl shaped cups.

"Mm! Fruity!" Lucius commented as he took a long sip, waiting for Severus to do the same. Once the potions master had, he nodded slowly, taking another long swig and grinning to his counterpart.

Five drinks later, and still going strong, the two men decided it would be fun to dance on the table beside them, much to the chagrin of two women, but the enjoyment of their male friend.

Rabastan and Rodolphus were snoring away in their room, the covers on both beds bunched up around them as the loud noises swam out the door and into the hallway, where the room service lady decided to refrain from entering, even if the Privacy Please sign was not out.

The arcade was not at all what it was cracked up to be. They only had "Dance Dance Revolution!" out of all the 'hip' games, and there was already a long line wrapping around the other games in order to get on said one. Fenrir was able to content himself by pulling up a seat at an ancient Star Wars pinball machine, priding himself upon getting the little ball in the right slot. "I won!" He cried the first time, dancing in his seat as he tapped his long fingernails against the glass top. How tempted was he to rip off that top and merely put the ball in the large slot where it was supposed to be and he couldn't get it in! Alas, he could not.

Well, technically he could, but there was a rather large and threatening sign above said machine that stated in large, bold face type:

ABSOLUTELY NO RIPPING OFF OF THE GLASS

And so, being the rule following (as long as it wasn't a ministry rule) werewolf that he was, he obeyed. Draco kept calling him a 'pansy of a minion', but Fenrir kindly ignored (or perhaps it was the fact he was so utterly enthralled in the game) the nasty remark and merely tutted, masking anger with a dazed look of glee as the ball finally went into that damned hole.