I Hate Everything About You, But WE Just LOVE YOU! Chapter 18: So Long! FarewehHUH!, a naruto fanfic

(A/N: Hey all! Thanks for all the positive responses! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!)

One Week Later- Saturday- 9:28 P.M…

"YIPEEE! HOORAY! TODAY'S TH' DAY!"

Akane was currently dancing slash skipping slash dashing about the living room in a fit of unequivocal joy at the prospect of the Naru-tachi being out of her life forever.

She had gone so far as to tackle-glomp Suo, planted a big, fat, kiss smack dab on the tip of his nose before running off laughing like a madwoman.

Nobody in the Naru-tachi had ever seen her this happy.

Frankly, it was a little disturbing.

Sora and Hinode had a completely different viewpoint on this current situation.

"WEEEEEEEEEEHHHH!" Sora wailed, big fat tears streaming down her cheeks, "IH-IH-IH-IH-IT'S NAH-NAH-NOT FUH-FUH-FUH-FAIRRRRR! I DIN'N E'EN GEDDA HUGGLE GUH-GUH-GAAAAAAAARRRRAAAAAAAA!"

"WAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Hinode sobbed, rivers of tears cascading down her cheeks, "I-I-I-I-I DIN'N GEDDA GLUH-GLUH-GLOMP MUH-MUH-MUH-MUH-MY SH-SH-SH-SHIIIIIIINNOOOOOO! BWAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

The two we're holding one another and bawling like babies.

They dissolved to the floor and were rocking back and forth.

"Since when did I become yours?" Shino mused.

"What in the world…is a huggle?" Gaara wondered.

It was now T-minus ten seconds in counting before the Naru-tachi would be sent home and Akane could not BE more stoked if she tried.

It was as if some invisible force had stuck an unseen I.V. of sugar and happy pills into her arm and then dropped her off at a Gun & Knife Show.

In other words, even if you searched the world at this current juncture, you would not succeed in finding a happier girl.

"Could she be anyLESS sadthat we're leaving?" Temari wondered aloud.

"I highly doubt it." Sasuke snorted.

"Okay." Kiba smirked, "Juust checkin'."

"Here we go." Mannen grinned, pressing the button.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAA!"

The familiar vacuum cleaner-like suction returned, sucking them into the big screen.

Once the suction stopped, the group found themselves a thousand feet in the air…same as last time…great.

"WAK!"

"CRAP!"

"SHIT!"

"AIIE!"

"MY SKIRRRT!" (Sakura...DUH-UH!)

"AWP!"

"FUCK!"

-WHM-

(Insert the sound of sand snagging Gaara outta the air here)

-WHM-

(Insert the sound of Shino having his kikai insects catch him here)

-WHM-

"Ohhh…damn…that shit really hurts man!" Takaomi groaned, rolling himself painfully off the ground.

"Oww…" Naruto moaned, pushing himself to his feet, "Everybody alive?"

"I think the better question would be, "Everybody intact?"" Kiba growled sorely, sitting up awkwardly and rubbing his back.

"OhhhTemariGaaraGeddoffaME!" Kankuro hissed, pounding the ground with the hand the wasn't pinioned beneath his brother and sister.

Temari had landed there.

Gaara had clamored on for reasons known only to himself.

Gaara, after watching Akane and her half-brothers for the past week, grew slightly jealous of their closeness and has decided to try and "build up brother-sister bonds" too.

This included pig piling on top of his elder sibling.

He found out about "Pig-piling" on his third day of rooming at the strange family's home.

He had found the whole ritual strange…as well as amusing.

And he couldn't believe he found himself thinking this, but Kazuo reeeeeally had it coming.

Leaving your facial hair in the bathroom sink two days in a row after you've been warned five times?

Yes, he felt that these we're indeed suitable grounds for a pig-piling.

Though, that he was even thinking such things troubled him a little.

"Hina-chan? You okay?" Hinode asked, wincing (Hinata had landed on her back).

"Y-yes." Hinata stammered, scrambling to get off her.

"Um…Sakura?" Sora asked, "Would you mind, oh, I dunno, gettin' your FAT ASS OFFA ME!"

The otaku gave the pink haired girl an almighty shove, sending her toppling off of her and onto the ground.

"HEY!" Sakura shrieked.

Temari and Gaara hadn't moved from their spot atop Kankuro, who was now only moment's from passing out from lack of air (hey, that gourd is fuckin' HEAVY!)

"Huh? Hey, Monkey?" Takaomi called, "Wheredya go?"

"That's strange." Shino muttered, glancing around, "She was with us when we left."

"Monkey!" Suo yelled, "Where th' hell are ya!"

"Akane!" Naruto shouted.

"ARF!" Akamaru yapped.

"Monkey!" Kazuo hollered.

"'m up here!" a disgruntled female voice called, "'m stuck!"

"Up where?" Sasuke asked.

Akane was nowhere in sight.

"Up HERE, smartass!" Akane's voice snarled, she had lost most ofher happy high at the prospect of never having to deal with theseAnimanga Freaksagainthe moment she realized she couldn't reach her switchblade.

The tree braches above them began to shake violently.

A black, steel-toed combat boot flew down from the leaves and hit Sakura square in the forehead, effectively knocking her unconscious.

Although no one seemed to care too much.

…can't imagine why (-.-)

"Why doncha get down?" Kankuro wheezed, checking himself over broken ribs (he did a body-switch technique just in with Karasu; sniff, poor thing…but then again, I've never been particularly fond of puppets)

"What part of "I'm stuck" did you not get, dumbass?" Akane cried, sounding a little more irked, "The "I'm"? Or the "Stuck" part?"

"Whaddreya stuck on?" Kiba asked, while undoing the jutsu that kept Akamaru cute and tiny.

"More like in! Creeper vines." Akane groaned, sounding very ticked that the Dog Master was speaking to her, "Nowshut yer holeand get Suo over here!"

"Whazzup Monkey?" Suo asked cheekily, "Besides you that is?"

"Shaddup, smartass." Akane growled, "Get Takaomi and get ready t' play catch."

"Gotcha…Monkey." Suo smirked

"SHUT UP!" Akane shrieked, "And hurry it up! All th' blood's rushin' to my head!"

"Oi! Taka." Suo said, "We're playin' catch."

Takaomi, hearing his name, turned away from his conversation with Naruto.

"Wow, it's been awhile." Takaomi smirked, rising to his feet, "You pitcher or 'm I?"

"You catch." Suo smiled, "She's less likely t' hit you."

"Ya riled her up, ah?" Takaomi grinned, standing beneath the tree.

"Bet he called her Monkey again." Naruto snickered, "Ook! Ook!"

"JUST SHUT UP AND GET ME DOWN!" Akane screamed.

"Yeah, yeah!" Mannen grinned, "They're comin'!"

"Calm down, Akane." Sasuke smirked, "Don't tell me your afraid of heights?"

"NO! I'm NOT afraid of heights!" Akane snarled, "But all th' blood's rushin' to my head, I'm getting' a huge headache, not to mention reeeally dizzy! So if they don't get me down in the next ten seconds, I'll unload my M–18's clip-!"

Suo and Takaomi got their rears in gear on hearing that their younger had brought part of her extensive arsenal with her.

GOD only KNEW what else she brought with her.

All they knew was that she was carrying a good-sized black backpack over a long case when they left.

They hadn't worried about it at the time, but now it concerned them a little.

Suo climbed into the uppermost branches where Akane was trussed, upside-down by her legs with thick ropy vines.

"Quite a mess you've gotten yourself into, eh Monkey?" Suo snickered, pulling a switchblade-pen out of his back pocket (businessman's gotta protect himself)

"Just…shut up and get me down." Akane hissed, shooting her eldest brother a murderous glare.

"Yes, ma'am." He said with mock obedience, giving her a one-fingered salute.

He quickly sawed through the vine trapping her left leg and set to work on her right.

"OI! TAKA! GET READY!" Suo yelled, gripping Akane's knee.

"TAKAOMI! YOU DROP ME, AND YER ASS IS GRASS!" Akane shrieked.

"Aw, calm down. I won't drop ya…hard." Takaomi grinned.

"ONE!…TWO!…" Suo called, preparing to let go.

"THREE!"

He sliced through the vine and Akane fell through the air, landing in Takaomi's arms with a soft thump; her forearms, calves and head whiplashed back over his arms.

Akane blinked at Shino dully, eyes slightly glazed.

"Is she okay?" Hinata murmured.

"Does it matter?" Gaara muttered, "As long as she's pseudo-conscious, she can't do much damage, now can she?"

"Like a de-clawed, de-fanged tiger!" Kiba grinned, scratching the now sizable Akamaru behind the ears.

"That isn't…very nice." Sora said sheepishly, sweating a little.

"Well you have to admit, Akane didn't make the best impression." Hinode mumbled dolefully.

"More like she didn't try." Naruto nodded in agreement.

"Hey Thunder Thighs, packin' on a few pounds are we?" Takaomi snickered.

That woke her up.

Akane wrenched herself into an upright position.

"Shove it, Shrek!" She snarled, "I don't need ta take this from you!"

"POOGH!"

The entire group snorted at that one.

The fifth night, during a movie marathon, the had watched both Shrek 1 & 2, so even the Naru-tachi knew the reference.

"Shrek?" Takaomi growled, butting foreheads with is younger sister (he still hasn't set her down, BTW)

"Yeah! Shrek! Mr. I'm-Too-Ashamed-To-Go-Out-In-Public-Shirtless!" Akane snapped.

"Yeah, well you have the widest hips I've ever SEEN on a girl! MAD HIPS!" Takaomi shot back.

"Jabba the Hut!" Akane growled.

"Rosie O'Donnell!" Takaomi snarled.

"Fat Bastard!" Akane retorted.

"Oprah Winfrey!" Takaomi shot back.

-BEEP-BEEP-

"Huh?" the bickering pair stopped fighting and turned towards the sound.

It was coming from Sora.

She pulled out her cell phone, which Sasuke looked at with some interest.

"Uh…oh." She squeaked.

Hinode looked at the cell.

"Hooo dear." The girl yelped.

"What's goin' on?" Sakura asked (she finally regains consciousness)

"Well, it's looks like you're past your time limit." Temari smirked, eyes dancing as the stared at the glowing face which now read 9:31.

"You…have-got...to-be-KIDDINGMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

(A/N: So the tables have turned! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THEY'RE the one's trapped! How long dya think before Akane goes and kills someone? R&R)