(A/N: Hey all! Shinigammi Goumon here! Just to let ya know, all those who reviewed last chapter who had their email's availabe for public viewing, recieved a special one time only piccy of Akane and her brothers from me! It probably got sent to your Junk Mail tho'! Just look for animemiko,Subject-The Questionable Quintet and that'll be it! And now, with further adieu, enjoy!)
"About time you showed up! You're fifteen minutes late." Tsunade chided as the Naru-tachi walked into her office.
Akane had finally climbed off of Kazuo and was encircle by her half brothers.
More for the protection of the Hokage than for herself.
"We're sorry, Tsunade-baachan." Naruto said sheepishly.
"That's HoKAGE-SAMA to YOU, brat!" Tsunade snarled.
Naruto snickered under his breath.
"Idiot." Sakura muttered.
Sora and Hinode glared at her.
"Now then." Tsunade said, regaining her composure, "Please give me a detailed report of the reason for your week long absence…as well as an explanation as to why you brought these seven foreigners here."
"Uh…um…it-it is difficult…to explain…Hokage-sama…" Hinata stammered.
"I'm listening." Tsunade said, propping herself up on her elbows.
"Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh…" Kankuro chuckled nervously, "Well, you know that phrase, 'You wouldn't believe me if I d told you'? Well this certainly falls into that category!"
"Just get on with it." Tsunade said exasperatedly.
Thirty Minutes Later…
"…I…I see…" Tsunade mumbled, eyes wide, face pale, "…so…so those…those seven are…are…"
"From another dimension." Kiba supplied, "Yes."
"…and you…you were…" Tsunade babbled.
"Sucked into their world for the past week." Temari completed.
"…and…and now…and now…" Tsunade stuttered.
"Now they are trapped here." Sasuke sighed, "For the next week until another window opens when they can return home."
Tsunade let her now white face fall between her knees as she began breathing exercises to keep herself from passing out.
"Tsunade-baachan? Are you okay?" Naruto asked worriedly.
Akane just stared at the woman.
It had been HER first time seeing her (her brothersand the Otaku Twinshad seen her before because they watch the series).
She was a little…umm…what's the word I'm looking for?…oh yeah! SHOCKED!
But who WOULDN'T be?
The woman had a pair of freakin' MIDGETS hangin' off her chest!
How did she STAND UP, let alone SIT UP, STRAIGHT, for the love of GOD?
They were like an overinflated pair of BALLOONS!
Made her wanna…pop'em.
Pull out a safety pin and jab one and see if air would come shooting out!
-PSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!-
"PFFFT!" Akane snorted.
"Huh?" Tsunade whipped her head up, "What's so funny, girl?"
Akane looked at Tsunade…
…and collapsed to the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.
"What…the…hell?" Suo wondered aloud.
Akane tugged him down to her level and, giggling wildly, whispered something in his ear…
…something that Kiba, Naruto and Gaara just happened to pick up on with their ultra sensitive hearing.
Gaara began to snicker.
Kiba, Suo and Naruto howled with laughter.
"ALRIGHT!" Tsunade snarled, slamming her palms down on her desk, creating huge fissures, "That's enough! I don't know WHAT this is all about, but you're done now!"
On the floor, Akane glowered at the woman, allowing Takaomi to assist her to her feet.
"Alright." Tsunade said imperiously, "Seeing as you won't be able to return to your proper dimension for another week, I'll set up homestays for all of you."
"Don't. Even. Think. About. Splitting. Us. Up." Akane said dangerously, glaring at the Godaime Hokage in a way that could have killed a lesser man.
"Uh-huh-yeah-right!" Tsunade chuckled nervously, "I wouldn't dream it!"
Inwardly she thought, "DA-AMN That little bitch is SCARY! That Kazekage brat is bad enough! Now I hafta deal with HER too? Great. Just great."
Gaara sneezed.
"Y'all right, Gaara?" Kankuro asked.
"Damn weather." Gaara sniffled, rubbing his nose.
"WE WANNA STAY WITH THE ABURAME'S!" Sora and Hinode squealed.
"What?" Shino said sharply.
"Whuh?" Tsunade responded, confused at how quickly the two had come to a decision, "W-well…okay?"
"NO!" Gaara and Shino cried.
"YEEE-EEHSS!" Sora, Hinode, Temari and Kankuro cried.
Temari and Kankuro couldn't WAIT to get more blackmail material on their baby bro.
This was just too perfect.
"What about the Freakish Fivesome?" Ino asked, snickering.
"Yeah. Where are THEY gonna stay?" Tenten chuckled.
"Hmmm…because there are so many of them…" Tsunade said carefully, "The only ones with enough space would be the Hyuuga's or the Inuzuka's."
"NOT the Hyuuga's." Mannen said harshly, "I'd end up KILLING Neji, Hiashi or both."
Neji gave a slight twich, glaring at Mannen.
"Yeah, dude." Kazuo nodded, "No offense Hina-chan. You're awesome! But the rest of yer family's WAAAAYY to uptight."
Hinata smiled brightly at Kazuo.
Neji was looking like if there weren't so many witnesses, he would have liked to kill the blonde.
"I don't wanna risk Monkey here riddling the place with bullets." Suo said grinning as he ruffled the shorter girl's hair, "Property damage is sucha bitch! The Inuzuka's are the safer bet."
Akane bit Suo's hand.
"Doh' cah' fee Fun'fee!" she snarled. (TRANSLATION: Don't call me Monkey!)
"Okay. That's care of that, then." Tsunade said, pulling out a giant stack of papers and beginning to fill them out, "You know the arrangements now. Unless something life threateningly important comes up, you are dismissed."
"God-DAMN it! Am I hungry or what?" Kazuo cried, stretching out a knot that he had developed somehow in the course of the last hour.
"Let's go to the Ichiraku Noodle Shop!" Naruto cried, "HOO HOO! Ramen! Ramen!"
"Speak for yourself." Akane snorted, "I aint eatin' ANYTHING from THIS world."
"Akane-san, you'll starve to death." Lee said.
"The human body can survive up to three weeks without food." Akane grunted, glaring at the bowlcut viciously.
"…I don't wanna know how you know that." Sakura whispered.
"My mom starved me…DUH-UH!" Akane said loudly.
"GODDAMN-wait, what?" Sakura said in confusion.
"Aww…you think so highly of me…I'm touched." Akane sneered.
"Thunder Thighs…don't make us force feed ya." Takaomi said seriously.
"Hmmm…I suppose I could always resort ta cannibalism and eat your FINGERS, Shrek." Akane said, smiling in such a poisonous way that it really made your stomach turn.
"Then again, I suppose you could hold out for a week." Suo said quickly.
"Yes, I suppose I could." Akane nodded agreeably.
"Don't worry." Mannen whispered to Hinata when he noticed the worried look on her face, "She'll cave when she gets hungry."
"Will NOT!" Akane snarled.
"We'll see!" Kiba grinned.
He couldn't wait to see how this turned out.
-GWM-
A pair of hands grabbed Akane's breasts from behind.
"This troubled me so much!" a voice sighed happily, "I just couldn't tell by sight! But now I know! 38B's!"
"EEEYAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Akane shrieked, switching a police regulation Glock out of the holster on her torso, "GETCHER HANDS OFFA ME!"
-KA-RAK-
-KLONNG-
She slammed the butt of the gun into the head of the aggressor and then proceeded to smash it into his John Thomas.
The man doubled over in pain on the ground, gasping for air as Akane aim the gun right between his eyes.
"Jiraiya-sensei?" Naruto gaped.
Takaomi was now working on wrestling the gun away from his widdle sister (while Suo, Mannen and Kazuo kicked the crap out of the Ero-sennin)
"What a way to make a first impression." Shikamaru sighed, "So troublesome."
(A/N: So how long before you thik Akane breaks down and eats the food? Two days? Three? And what mayhen will ensue when the Akatsuki drops in for a visit? R&R!)