Ok...first off I don't really think this chapter is ready to be posted. It's not quite as long as I would like it to be, nor does it have all the "scenes" that I wanted in this chapter. So please don't be too harsh...forewarn you it's not all that great. However, there is good reason for me posting. I have a hectic weekend and then I'm leaving for NYC on Sunday (staying through Thurs.) so if I don't post tonight there was a good chance that another ch. wouldn't be up until next Thurs. possibly even next Sat. So I wanted to give you guys something since I hadn't added a ch. in about 2 days now. Hope you still like it though.

(Maureen's POV)

I woke up the next morning to see an empty space where Joanne usually slept. She was suppose to be off of work today, but she was acting awfully weird last night so who knows. I just laid there for awhile; looking up at the ceiling. Last night was so frustrating. I hated knowing that something was wrong with Joanne and that she didn't want to tell me. What's worse is that Mark and Roger know what's going on with her, but her own girlfriend doesn't. Something is so screwed up with that situation. I wanted to help her, but how if she won't tell me. Laying there running all this through my head, just made me more and more upset. If I was going to solve this mystery I had to talk to Joanne; then we can go from there.

Finally, I forced myself to get out of bed. As I started walking towards the door, I could feel my heart start racing. I was getting nervous. Since she apparently didn't want to tell me I figured it had to be something bad. I slowly walked down the hall towards Joanne's voice; she was on the telephone with someone. As I got closer I could make out more of the conversation; and I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I suddenly stopped in the hallway knowing she couldn't see me, yet I could hear her.

"Yes I know…I will I promise, but how…I can't do that…because" who in the hell is she talking to, "Roger I can't tell her yet," that answers my question, "you know how upset she would be Roger if she knew…I know she would…I get that Roger, but just think about it for a second…you haven't told anyone have you…good…they don't need to know, not yet…I agree I should tell Maureen first…

I had heard enough and burst into the kitchen where Joanne was leaning up against the counter talking on the phone. She saw me walk in; she looked like she had seen a ghost. I put my hands on my hip, cocking one hip to the side, narrowed my eyes and glared at her. She just kept repeating umm, umm, umm, into the phone. I just started shaking my head at her, turned around and headed out of the kitchen. I was pissed.

"Hey Roger, let me call you back, bye." Joanne came rushing out of the kitchen after me to the bedroom. I had gone to get my coat; I was leaving. I wasn't leaving for good, just to go cool down. "Baby, listen," she was standing in the doorway of the bedroom. I just grabbed my coat from the closet and shoved right by her. "Baby," I heard her crying from behind me as she followed me to the front door. I didn't even act like I was paying attention to her.

But that conversation seemed to me that the big news was that Joanne was cheating on me and possibly even with Roger or Mark, he seemed like he was in on this little secret of theirs too. I swung around staring at her, "which one was it Joanne, Roger or Mark? Or maybe just some random girl you saw when you left me alone last night at the Life." My words were harsh and hateful.

"What! Are you serious? You think I'm cheating on you with Roger or Mark? Are you listening to yourself?" She was angry now. I had caused her to go from apologizing to me to now ripping me a new one for doubting her, yet again.

"What else am I suppose to think? You wouldn't talk to me last night, or even let me touch you. I could tell Mark and Roger knew something." I didn't want to fight, but it just seemed to start and I wasn't backing down.

"Maybe you could just ask me instead of jumping to conclusions." She wasn't yelling now, but she was using that lawyer voice of hers that she uses in court. You know the kind of stern, sometimes almost smart-alecky.

"I tried Joanne. You wouldn't talk to me, remember?" She just stood there, shooting daggers at me with those eyes of hers.

We stood there in silence for awhile. Apparently she wasn't going to give me any answers so I swung the door open to leave in a huff. That's when I heard the worse thing I ever thought I could possibly hear come from Joanne's mouth, "Steve tried to rape me last night; there that's the big secret, satisfied?" she had screamed it at me with all the pain and fear in the world.

I froze. I could hear her crying from inside in the apartment. My body was on emotional overload. I was feeling rage, fear, pain, and shame; they were all wrapped up inside of me ready to explode. I turned around and saw Joanne holding herself up by the chair. Tears were rolling down her face. I just stood there for a while; I couldn't move. I could tell she was crying out to me for support, yet I could see some anger within her. I had jumped to some terrible conclusions. I walked back into the apartment, shut the door, and took off my coat. I slowly walked over to her. "Joanne, I'm sorry," I muttered. I felt so bad for first off what happened to her and then I went and jumped to all these conclusions. It must have been horrible for her and I wasn't making it any easier on her. I tried to hug her, but she pushed my arms away.

"You seriously thought I would cheat on you Maureen? First you thought I was cheating on you with Steve now it's either Mark or Roger?" I could see how much she was hurting. Not just from what Steve tried to do to her, but from me doubting her yet again. And really could I blame her?

"Joanne," I was trying to sound as apologetic as possible. "I'm sorry pookie, really I am."

"Whatever Maureen," she quickly had grabbed her stuff from the kitchen table and was heading for the door. I tried to keep her from leaving but she wasn't having it. She stormed out of here, just like I had been planning to until she told me about Steve. I walked out into the hallway and watched her storm down the hallway to the elevator; screaming her name occasionally hoping she'd turn around, but she didn't. She got on the elevators and headed somewhere.

I decided to stay put though in the apartment. I walked back inside and went and buried myself into the couch. My emotional overload exploded. I was punching the cushions, and then sobbing into them. What in the hell was going on with Joanne and me; why couldn't we just seem to keep it together lately. We had been doing great until Steve came into our lives, then this whole fiasco started. What if we can't make it through all of this shit Steve had been putting us through, then what? We have had our ups and downs before, but nothing quite like this. I got the worse feeling in the pit of my stomach; wonder if I lose her. What would I do with out her?

(Joanne's POV)

I was quickly down the stairs and out into the cool fall air of New York City. Why I had left the apartment, I really wasn't sure. Maureen was only trying to help I knew that; but hearing her yet again questioning my love and commitment to her was too much right now. There was so much pain built up inside of me; I needed to talk to her, I had wanted to talk to her. But of course she jumped to conclusions and we got in yet another fight. Maybe I should have just told her last night, but the pain was too new. Plus she had been dealing with her own encounter with Steve and I didn't want to burden her with my pain as well. Because I knew she'd completely focus on me and forget all about healing herself. Which I guess just proves to me that she loves me. Anymore that wasn't anything I typically questioned, but her doubting me so much recently wasn't sitting well with me.

I'd been walking for who knows how long when I realized that I was standing outside of Roger and Mimi's building. Was this a coincidence or did some part of me want to end up here? Roger and I had connected somehow through all of this. I had begun looking at him like an older brother. Someone who I could look to for help and support; someone who would just listen and not jump to any wild conclusions.

I made my way up the stairs to Roger's loft. He must have been expecting me because I barely had enough time to knock on the door once when it flew up, revealing a very sympathetic looking Roger. He had this little one sided grin going on; if he was a woman I'd been all over him. He was absolutely adorable standing there in his ripped jeans and t-shirt; his hair wild and wavy. Without saying a word to me he moved aside inviting me into the loft.

As I was making my way over to sit on the couch, Roger had walked up behind me placing his hands on my shoulder, his sudden touch from behind frightened me and I jumped. "Ok Joanne what happened?" He must feel really sorry for me, because typical Roger would not want to hear about how dramatic Maureen was being or how unreasonable she was; however this Roger, the side of Roger I only saw when it was the two of us alone, didn't seem to care if he had to hear about Maureen if it made me feel better.

We had sat down on each end of the couch facing one another; settling in for quite the conversation. "She thinks I'm cheating on her…well she thought I was." I then got this little ridiculous smirk on my face, "and to make it even more ridiculous, she thought I was cheating on her with Mark or you."

Roger started laughing. He was literally bent over, holding his stomach laughing. I just glared at him, "is that funny?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Joanne. It's just that I can't believe that Maureen would even consider that." He was still laughing and I was still glaring. "I mean come on Joanne." He was trying to sound apologetic now that he had laughed at the idea. "First off, you don't like guys. Second off both Mark and me are in other relationships, with your friends." Ok so it was kind of funny the idea of me with Mark or Roger, but I wasn't laughing so hard I had to hold my stomach. However, it did lighten the mood and put me at ease.

Just then the phone rang, "still screening?" I ask.

"Of course." He acted like I had just asked the dumbest question ever in my life.

"Sppeeeaaakkk."

"Hey Roger. It's Maureen, pick up. I know you're screening" she paused for a moment waiting for Roger to answer, but he didn't move from the couch next to me. I'm glad he didn't. "Ok well fine then just listen to me. Is Joanne there with you? If she is please tell her to come home, we have to talk. Pookie, I'm sorry I really am. I know you wouldn't cheat on me with Mark or Roger," neither of us could help but laugh, "So please just come home. I love you Joanne." With that she hung up.

"Joanne you should go talk to her, she really did sound sorry." He did make some sense, she did sound sorry. However, I just didn't know if I could deal with her right now. I was finding it difficult to talk about what had happened. And it seemed like every time someone even touched me I jumped. And knowing Maureen she'd want to make up by having some crazy ass sex. I didn't need that either right now, I just needed to talk.

"Roger, can I just stay here for a bit. I promise I won't stay long." I was pleading almost with him for him to let me stay. Something inside me just told me I needed to stay and not go home right now.

"Of course Joanne you can stay as long as you like." He reached over slowly and gently hugged him. I think he could sense that I was reasonably jumpy. "So do you want to talk about it?"

"Roger, I'm scared to death. Every time I see a man walking by me, my body tenses and I get nervous. Every time someone touches me, even Maureen, I jump away. Last night Roger she tried to cuddle with me and when she touched me I jumped out of the bed. How ridiculous is that?"

"Well have you told Maureen any of this?" Roger the therapist.

"She didn't give me a chance to," I could feel myself starting to get mad again about our earlier fight. "Roger I really do want to tell her, I know I should, but how. This is just going to hurt her more than she has already been hurt."

"But Joanne, you have to realize that Maureen just wants to help you too. You guys can just be there for each other. You need each other right now; you don't need to be fighting." Roger was actually making some sense. I had known this, but to hear someone else say it helped.

Our conversation began trailing off onto other things such as Roger's music, Mark and Eden, and Mimi's birthday coming up. Roger had said he wanted to plan something nice for her, but he really wasn't sure what yet. I of course volunteered to help in any way I could; give me something to get involved with, hopefully keeping my mind off of everything else crazy happening in my life right now. I stayed there for about another hour or so and finally figured it was time to head home and deal with all of this. Roger kissed me goodbye, wished me luck, and said he'd be in touch soon. I'm glad that Roger and I have become so close.

Ok so deliver the news...what did you think? Please review. If there is any possible way I may try to have a ch. up this Sat. night, but I don't know how realistic that is...but I'll try. If you guys have any ideas/suggestions of something you would want to see more or less of let me know. Thanks for reading! And I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this story so much :)