(A/N: Heya!Shinigami Goumon here! Sorry for the wait! Here's the next chapie!)

The Naru-tachi ate blissfully, completely engulfed by the warm, spice scented steam.

There were the sounds of loud slurping, manners completely disregarded in favor of gorging themselves in noodle filled bliss.

Well...all but one that is.

Akane, true to her word, was refusing to eat, and sat just outside of Ichiraku, a rather callous look on her face that was frightening away small children and animals.

It wasn't that she was mad, or angry with them.

It was that she was hungry, she had access to food, she knew she was being an idiot by not eating, but her pride wouldn't allow her to consume it after what she had said.

Truth in fact, she would rather eat her own hand than allow her pride to be bruised.

"Damn it all." Akane muttered.

She comforted herself lamely by telling herself it probably all tasted like ink anyway.

But she knew by the enthusiastic grunts her brother's were emitting and the enraptured gasps Hinode and Sora were producing that that just wasn't true.

Life sucked.

For her at least.

Sora and Hinode couldn't be happier at this point in time.. .or this bloated.

They had foolishly challenged Naruto to a ramen eat off.

Lee and Kiba had jumped right in at the prospect of facing an old rival.

Suo, Mannen, Kazuo and Takaomi leapt into the fray as well and the rest acted as judges.

"Can't...eat...any...more!" Sora squeaked, falling of her stool.

"Oogh...my stomach." Hinode groaned, falling forward, face planting into another bowl of ramen.

Naruto kept right at it, Kiba somehow matching his pace.

Suo knew when he was licked and took to drinking beer.

Takaomi sat back and watched the contest, smoking a cigarette.

"I'm done." Kazuo said, looking rather green.

Mannen ran outside and blew chunks only inches away from Akane's feet.

"AW, MAN-NII! Truly gross!" Akane gagged, scotching away from him.

Mannen's only response was to retch and puke up more noodles.

"Real nice, bro." Akane choked, "Ulgh, man that's rank. One more reason why I wont eat the food."

Jiraiya eyed the Otaku pair with interest.

He had already learned that groping the short, dark haired one with eyes like a ravenous tiger was out.

But now he wondered about the other two.

He also couldn't tell by looking.

He had felt with the first one that something beneath her clothing was restraining her dirty pillows.

Perhaps these two were wearing similar devices.

Only one way to find out!

-GWMP-

-GWMP-

"AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sora shrieked as the Ero-sennin's left hand groped her right breast.

"YIIIIAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Hinode screamed as the Super Pervert's right hand felt up her left.

"Huh…they are." Jiraya nodded.

-BRAK-

Ino and Ten Ten punched him in the jaw, sending him flying out the door, only millimeters from Akane's head.

"Was…was that a meteor?" Mannen wondered, burping up a fishcake.

"Blech! Man-nii! At least wipe your mouth!" Akane gagged.

"BWAAAAUGH!" Hinode and Sora wailed, crossing their arms over their chests.

"C'mon, don't feel too bad." Sakura said, "We've all gone through it."

"Yeah." Ten Ten sighed, "Even Hinata."

Neji looked away, blushing in shame.

Hinata looked at her feet, blushing in embarrassment.

"It's like a really twisted right of passage, or initiation ritual." Ino grumbled.

"Unbelievably twisted." Hinode shuddered.

"Stupid lecher." Sora mumbled.

The Akatsuki strode throught Konohagakure, perfectly disguised as twelve year old girls.

It had been rather easy to slip in to the Shinobi village undetected.

Almost too easy.

As if the village was already distracted by some other malevolent force (hmm…malevolent force huh? I wonder who THAT could be? -.-)

"It's…odd." Itachi finaly said, "You would think they would have higher guard."

"I agree." Kisame nodded, "I wonder why they have lowered their defenses so?"

A white, red, green and blue blur shot past them.

They were momentarily speechless.

"…okay…" Itachi said slowly, "…we both agree we just saw the Frog Hermit go rocketing past us at Mach Five…right?"

"Right." Kisame nodded.

The pair walked on in silence.

They knew where they were heading.

The Ichiraku Noodle Shop was a favorite haunt of the Kyuubi holder.

It was a well known fact.

It was the perfect place to begin their hunt.

They were about walk inside when they were blasted by a wave of some of the most malicious chakra they had ever felt.

It was vindictive and sadistic…and didn't have a specific focus.

It was wide spread about the area, directed at everyone and everything.

It's origin was a rather short teenaged girl with long, midnight blue hair and pale, purply-blue eyes that burned with the feral, untamed light of a wild beast.

She took one look at them and glared at them in a way that would have killed…if that hadn't been who they were that is.

"Sheesh…what a bitch." Kisame thought.

The girl rose to her feet, eyes narrowed angrily.

"Don't tell me she can read minds!" Kisame thought in a panic.

"Urgh!" she growled, "How much longer are those ijits gonna take!"

A nineteen year old by her feet muttered, "They'll however long they're gonna take sis. Be patient."

"Patient." She grunted, "Chyeah. Right."

Naruto finally took out Lee and Kiba and was declared the undisputed winner.

The group exited Ichiraku Noodle only to be stopped by Akane slamming a palm into Takaomi's chest.

"Hold it." she growled, glowering at him fiercely.

"Wh-whaddizzit Monkey?" the flame head asked, smiling lamely.

"Assume the position." Akane snarled.

"Aw, but sis-!" Takaomi groaned.

"Now." She growled.

"What's going…?" Kankuro didn't finish his sentence because Takaomi's actions were self expanitory.

He placed both palms, at shoulder's width, on the outer wall of Ichiraku and spread his legs.

Akane began patting him down…and pulling packages of food out of concealed pockets.

"Oh, okay." Chouji nodded.

"Sheesh-louise. Not again." Suo groaned.

A substantial pile was growing by Takaomi's feet.

Morinaga Choco Balls, Pocky in all different flavors, ranging from chocolate to melon, Fujiya Look Parfait A La Mode, Glico Pretz, Water Kissmint Gum and many other snacks heaped on the floor.

Akane reached forward and slid a hand down into the front ofthe twenty two year old's jeans.

"WHOA!" Kiba thought wildly, "WHERE DOES SHE THINK SHE'S PUTTIN' HER-!"

Akane retracted the hand, a package of Morinaga Hi-chew came with it.

"Never mind." Kiba thought quickly, banishing the sickening thoughts.

It appeared that the fifteen year old had re-appropriated everything because Takaomi began to walk away.

This was not the case however.

"Fork it over." Akane sighed.

Takaomi grumbled under his breath and withdrew a package of Black Black Gum from under his sleeve.

"And the other one." She said tartly, snapping her fingers at him, "C'mon. Out with it."

Grumbling, Takaomi lifted his other arm and removed a bag of rice candies.

Akane reached up, dug her fingers into the back of his skull and shoved him back into the resteraunt.

Still gripping his head, Akane forced him down into a bow before the shop owner.

"Now what do we say?" she growled.

"…sorry sir." He muttered.

Jerking him upright, she stalked out of the noodle shop, still maintaining her firm grip on his skull.

"Taka?"she said coolly, withdrawing her Walther 75th Anniversery PPK from its holster, "Clench your teeth."

With that, she viciously pistol whipped him.

Takaomi picked himself off the ground as Akane holstered the handgun.

"Why do you care if he robs them?" Shikamaru asked, "From what I gather, you don't care much for our world."

"I don't." Akane snarled at him, eyes flashing, "But simply because I loathe you all beyond the fathoms of human comprehension…doesn't mean I'm gonna let Shrek here get away with lifting shit in front of me."

"How did you know?" Neji asked.

He would have noticed normally, but he was completely engrossed by his disgust at how human beings could stuff that much food into themselves.

Akane smirked.

"Cuz'm Byakko: Former Leader of the Ninth St. Hell Cat's Assassination Squad." She sighed, "And as a former gang leader, I know all the signs someone who's just lifted."

Takaomi shot Suo a startled look.

"I thought YOU were the one givin' her the go ahead!" he cried, "You mean all this time-!"

"Oh come ON bro!" Akane cried in exasperation, "Dya really expect a Yakuza baby like me ta NOT know th' telltale signs of a bad shoplifter like you? Right after you steal shit, you start sweatin' like a pig! It's easy ta tell!"

Itachi and Kisame continued to watch from the shadows.

"…Akane, mm?" Itachi smirked toxically, "…be sure to keep my foolish little brother on his toes."

He nodded to Kisame.

"We'll try again soon." Itachi drawled, "This is far too entertaining to interrupt."

Sasuke had just muttered something under his breath that sounded distinctly like, "Crazy Whore" and now he was on the run with Takaomi from the hailstorm of bullets she sent flying their way.

(A/N: Fun with Hotsprings and the second night! R&R!)