(This is one of the versions of a season finale I think would be cool).
He's realized, finally, that there is no escaping it. It has been staring him in the face for over a year now, and he's got to face the facts.
He is in love with Meredith Grey.
He sits on the bench outside Seattle Grace, hardly noticing the light rain that has begun to fall. He knows she got off work hours ago and is probably at Joe's or her house with a bottle of tequila. He wonders if she's thinking about him at the same time, and he can't help picturing her face when he goes to her and tells her that he's finally made his decision – the right decision this time. He imagines her running into his arms, kissing him the way she used to.
He likes sitting here thinking about Meredith, because it's a hell of a lot easier than thinking about the other issue tugging on his mind.
What is he going to say to her?
How is he going to tell his wife of eleven years that he's finally given up?
He unconsciously wipes away the raindrops that have fallen on his face. He's terrified to go home and see her, to watch her face fall when he breaks her heart.
He's been a bad husband, he knows that. He hasn't been trying, not one bit. He's been stringing Addison along when his heart wasn't in it.
But now he'll be free.
He'll always love her, he knows that. He makes a mental note to tell her that during the short speech he has planned.
He knows it will be hard, but he also knows it will be worth it.
- - - -
He walks into the bedroom, where she is reading a medical journal. He can't help smiling a little – she always looks so cute with her glasses on.
"Hi," she says, looking up with a strange expression on her face. Is it worry, fear? He can't quite place it. He wonders if she already knows what he's about to do.
"Hey, Addie." He takes a deep breath and sits on the edge of the bed. "I need to talk to you."
"Yeah, I have to talk to you, too," she says, and again he can't figure out her veiled tone. She seems… scared and maybe anxious.
For a second he wants to put his arms around her, but he steels himself away from the thought. He loves Meredith. Well, he loves Addison too, but in a different way now, he's pretty sure about that.
Addison tucks her knees up to her chin and looks at him expectantly. "Go ahead."
He knows that what he's about to say – that he's going to destroy their marriage - will be a bomb exploding in her face, so he says, "No, you first." Nothing she's about to say will change his mind – he's set and he's at peace with it.
He knows exactly what he's doing, and he knows it's what he wants.
"Okay." She draws in a shaky breath. "I'm… I'm pregnant, Derek."
And everything he knows comes crashing down.
(end).