It was surprising to both Rachel and Soren that Muppet Theater looked practically untouched by Hex, from the outside at least. Sure, there had been a few Cast Bots to deal with, but they seemed to be avoiding the place for some reason. With her Keyblade in hand, Rachel carefully opened the door to the theater but was surprised to see that everything seemed to be normal inside.
"Huh, I expected more chaos," Poe mused. Suddenly a cannon went off, and Gonzo the Great came crashing into the nearby wall. "Ah, there it is."
"I'm gonna go find Fozzie!" Soren shouted, flying off to the backroom to find the bear in question.
"And I'll follow him to make sure those two don't get into too much trouble," Marian said, sighing with a smile on her face.
Rachel and Poe followed a bit behind their two companions, after pulling Gonzo out of the wall, of course. The sword mage quickly found Kermit and Scooter discussing the day's performance schedule.
"Kermit, there you are!" Rachel said. "Having any trouble with Hex?"
The frog shook his head. "No problems here."
"We just sent Statler and Waldorf to stand outside and heckle the robots," Scooter explained. "If anything is going to keep them away, it's those two."
"That's… actually pretty smart," Rachel nodded. "We are here on a mission, so I was wondering if-"
"Of course you guys can be part of our show!" Kermit interrupted.
"That wasn't what I was about to say," Rachel said.
Soren flew down and gave Rachel the biggest doe eyes. "Can we please perform, Rachel? It's a dream of mine to be on The Muppet Show!"
The sword mage tried to resist, but was powerless to the Jaquin's cute face. "Okay, we have time for one act each," she relented.
"I'll go tell Marian and Fozzie!" Soren cheered.
Poe looked to Rachel and smiled. "So, I guess that leaves us with our own act to do. Any suggestions, my lady?"
[***]
"Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce our special guest performers," Kermit announced. "Performing in the shoes of legendary Barbra Streisand, Rachel the Sword Mage and Poe de Spell!"
The two in question waved to the audience as the curtains raised. Poe wore a nice white suit, while Rachel contrasted it with a black dress. Poe held out his hand, and Rachel gladly took it as they readied themselves to dance. Marian and Soren watched from backstage, where the Jaquin was rolling his dice around on a desk. He accidentally knocked it over too far and made it roll into the floor, causing its effects to activate and change the music!
Poe and Rachel looked around confused as an upbeat tune started playing instead of their intended music. Shrugging, Rachel started to sway with the music, with Poe following her lead as the stage lights dimmed and showed that their backdrop on stage was now a New York City Street with neon signs hanging overhead. As they danced, Gonzo and the chicken dancers suddenly appeared behind them to sing along with the song.
"Barbra Streisand!"
The song soon became a full swinging dance number, with Rachel and Poe getting into the song as the chickens sang behind them. The neon lights flickered overhead as they danced across the stage, with Poe using his amulet to enhance their performance with magical flair.
"Barbra Streisand!"
The music slowed a bit, which Rachel took as an opportunity to do a solo dance. She summoned Fatal Crest and did a few moves with it, one of which made Poe turn into his raven form to duck under. The sword mage de-summoned her weapon after that, letting the two of them ballroom dance once more.
"Barbra Streisand!"
The two did a partner dance one more time as their number came to an end, building up, until Poe twisted Rachel up into the air, ending in a dip that let her hair touch the floor. The crowd cheered at their performance, with Poe and Rachel giving a bow as they went backstage.
"The was quite the lightshow," Statler said from the viewing box.
"Too bad we forgot our sunglasses to watch it!" Waldorf added, the two old men laughing.
"Sorry about the sudden music change," Soren apologized. "But you two did great regardless!"
"The two of you were really in sync," Marian nodded. "It reminds me of when Robin and I dance together."
"I don't think it was that good," Rachel said, color coming to her face.
"You're right- we did even better," Poe said with a smug grin. "I'm always open to being your dance partner in the future, Rachel the Sword Mage."
Marian smiled as Rachel blushed at he compliment. "He's such a charmer," the vixen commented.
Rachel shook her head. "But I have to focus on my training," she sighed.
Marian looked at the girl with concern as she went off to change back into her regular clothes. "Poor girl. She's in love but doesn't know how to approach it." She looked down at Soren as Fozzie came over to them. "Time for our performance, you two."
"Introducing, alongside our own Fozzie Bear, Soren and Maid Marian!" Kermit announced.
The three of them were sitting on a bench, with Soren in the middle and Marian and Fozzie to either side of him. "So guys, there's a lot going on in the world right now," Soren said. "And it's important that everyone lets the professionals handle the big situations."
"You wouldn't want to get Hexed after all," Fozzie replied, getting a chuckle from the audience.
"Have you heard about the horseback riding lessons in Sleepy Hollow?" Marian asked.
Soren shrugged. "Eh, it's nothing to lose your head over." That got a good laugh from the audience as well.
"How about you tell some actually funny jokes?" Statler heckled.
"And I thought the bear alone was bad enough," Waldorf added. "I guess more isn't always better."
"Come on guys, these two are the guests of honor," Fozzie called up to the two hecklers.
"Doesn't mean they can tell a good joke!" Statler called back.
Soren frowned. "You know, they're funnier when you're not on the receiving end of their critiques," he said.
"Then how about I show off a trick instead," Marian suggested. She pulled out an apple an placed it on Soren's head. "I can shoot this apple off of your head while blindfolded."
"Eh, this is more Gonzo's thing," Fozzie shrugged, but went along with it.
"Are you sure this is safe?" Soren asked as Marian readied her bow.
"Robin taught me this trick, so don't worry," she assured the Jaquin. Aiming her bow, the vixen fired off an arrow hit the apple right off of Soren's head… while also hitting Fozzie's apple-themed tie, pinning him to the wall along with the apple. "Oops! Looks like my aim was a bit too good," Marian chuckled nervously.
"On the contrary," Fozzie said, picking up the apple and taking a bite. "Your aim is very sweet. Waka waka!"
That joke got even Soren and Marian to groan, but they laughed soon afterwards as they made their exit from the stage. Rachel and Poe gave their congratulations to their friends, but the task they came here for was still at hand.
"Kermit, while this was fun and all, we're actually here looking for a special key," Rachel explained.
"Oh, do you mean this?" Scooter asked, taking out the Mickey-shaped key. "I found it in the key drawer when Miss Piggy accidentally got locked out of her dressing room this morning."
Rachel sighed as she took the key from the humanoid Muppet. "So this whole performance thing was all for nothing?"
"At least we had fun!" Soren giggled. "So Scooter, did you find the key to Miss Piggy's room."
"No, she kicked the door down- literally," he replied.
"Either way, I suggest we get going back to the others," Poe said. "Especially before Soren and Fozzie come up with more 'jokes' of theirs."
Author's Note
Can I just say that I find the Muppets hard to write for? Hopefully I did them justice in this chapter.
Soren and Marian got to do a classic Fozzie joke bit, as well as the whole "shooting an apple of a person's head" thing. As for Rachel and Poe, the song they danced to was "Barbra Streisand," obviously. If you want to know why I chose that song, just look up the band that performed it (Hint: it's a pun!).
And Marian is picking up on Rachel's feeling towards her partner. What's the sword mage holding herself back for? We'll have to wait and see.
Gabriel and Logan are going to Star Wars this Friday, so be prepared for that!