(A/N: Hey all! SG here! Without further adieu, let's get th' ball rolling!)

After regaining his composure, the Jounin informed the chuunin the one genin and Jounin (Genin- Naruto; Jounin: Temari) that despite current circumstances, that they were not to neglect their training.

"You are to report outside the gate to the Mori no Shi in fifteen minutes." He finished.

"FIFTEEN MINUTES?" Ino and Sakura shrieked.

"But it's a FOURTY FIVE MINUTE RUN!" Neji and Kiba cried.

"AND THIRTY FIVE IF WE USE TELEPORTION JUTSUS!" Temari and Naruto bellowed.

"What the HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG?" Chouji demanded.

"Well you see, this poor old woman had fallen and spraind her ankle so-" Kakashi never got to finish.

"THAT'S THE MOST SHITFACED LIE I'VE EVER HEARD!" Sora screamed.

"FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, TELL IT STRAIGHT!" Hinode shouted.

"Okay, then. I slept in. Happy?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, actually." Shino said quietly.

"Very." Gaara nodded in calm agreement.

"HEEEEEEEE! THEY'REAWESOME!" Hinode and Sora squealed.

"SHADDAP! ALL A YA!" Akane roared, sniper rifle still in hand.

"…yes'm." Sora and Hinode squeaked.

Akane was thoroughly irked.

Because her idiot brothers, her vow to not imbibe anything from this world was broken…

…but that was simply piled on top of the fact that her nicotine cravings and alcohol depravation pains had increased twenty times since being force fed.

She was pissed.

No.

Strike that.

She was BEYOND pissed.

She was on a level of pissed-off-ed-ness that people have only heard about in legends.

You know, the kind where fire rains down from the sky, the rivers run red with blood and people are fleeing in terror screaming?

That's the kind of pissed she was.

"Hey, Monkey." Takaomi said brightly, "Why doncha go with?"

"WHAT?" Sakura screamed.

"ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR TEENY TINY LITTLE MIND?" Kankuro cried.

"Can it." Mannen smiled good-naturedly, "'sides sis, it'll letcha work off some stress."

Akane's glare had redirected and riveted.itself on Mannen.

It looked as though she was seriously considering skinning him alive, devouring the corpse and using his skull for a soup bowl.

"That is…" Suo interjected, "…unless you don't think you're…up to the challenge."

Akane whirled around, pale, purply-blue eyes flashing ferally.

She kicked her eldest brothers legs out from under him, sat on his chest and aimed the sniper rifle directly between his eyes.

"Repeat that." She snarled.

"AAH! SUU-KUN!" Hinode and Sora shrieked.

Suo just smiled up at his younger sister, feeling the cold of the barrel on his forehead.

"I said, that if you don't think you're physically up to training, you're welcome to stay behind." Suo grinned.

Akane looked as though pulling the trigger a few dozen times wasn't to far off in the future.

"KAZU! Get my clothes. NOW!" she barked leaping off Suo's chest and storming into the extension.

"Yes, your majesty." Kazuo said mockingly.

Suo clamored off the floor, dusting himself off.

"Too easy." Takaomi chuckled.

"Y'always did know howta push'er buttons." Mannen smirked.

"Naturally." Suo smiled.

Thirty Five Minutes Later…

"You're late." Yuhi Kurenai stated tersely, eyeing the panting Shinobi, "Though, seeing who the messenger is (glares at Kakashi) I'm really not all that surprised."

"Wuh-we're sorry, ma'am." Hinata wheezed.

"And where is Sensei?" Ten Ten asked.

"He went off looking for you." Kurenai sighed.

"It's all his fault." Sakura grumbled, scowling at Kakashi, "Always late…urrgh! I can't STAND it!"

"Hey, I said I was sorry, didn't I?" Kakashi asked mildly from behind his perverse pages of his book.

"Uh-NO! You didn't!" Temari snapped.

"I thought not." Kakashi nodded, turning a page.

"YOU JERK!" Naruto and Kiba cried.

"Shuuuuhd-DUUUHP!" Akane bellowed, looking VERY ready to show everyone what ELSE was hidden away in side her "Fun Box".

"…okay." They squeaked meekly.

There was a huge explosion.

"KAF-KAF-KAF!" Sora gagged.

"Wh-what th' hell?" Hinode choked.

Neji, Ten Ten and Lee were unmoved.

They were used to this.

"GOOD AFTERNOON, MY YOUTHFUL PUPILS!" Maito Gai boomed, appearing in a swirl of smoke, "IS EVERYBODY HA-!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Akane screamed, ripping out her M-15 (completely reloaded I might add) and kicking open the "Fun Box" and whipping out a AK-47, "GETITAWAY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! IT'S HIDEOUS! IT'S DISGUSTING! GETITAWAY! GETITAWAY! GETITAWAY!"

Gai did a very interesting dance to avoid the barrage of white hot metal shooting at him from all directions.

Kazuo tackled her from behind, stopping the hailstorm of bullets.

"Calm down, Monkey!" Takaomi laughed.

"He's not'n enemy!" Mannen snickered.

"HOW can you SAY THAT?" she shrieked, struggling to get out of her 6' 10" brother's grip (yup! Kazu maybe the youngest brother, but he is by far the tallest!), "LOOKAT'M! THEIR BIGGER TH'N HIS! THEY LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE A LIFE OF THEIR OWN THEY'RE SO HUGE!"

Gai blinked.

"Umm…did I miss something?" he asked.

Naruto and Kiba were on the ground, pounding the dirt with their fists they were laughing so hard.

Kurenai looked away, holding her stomach, quaking with just barely contained laughter.

Kakashi was heard to be snickering from behind the pages of his Icha Icha Violence.

"Relax, sis." Mannen snorted, "Uber Brows and Mega Brows are as safe as taxes. Promise."

"HEY!" Lee and Gai cried.

"Now that that's out of the way, can we please get to some training…please?" Gaara asked quietly.

"Yes…while amusing…this is wasting daylight hours." Shino muttered.

"HEEEEEEEE! THEY'RE SOOO SEXY!" Hinode and Sora squealed.

Shino and Gaara sighed.

Akane put away her weapons.

Yup.

This is not a typo.

She put them away.

All of'em.

You are not going insane.

Akane then yelled at Kazuo-

"OI! Getcher ass over here!"

He quickly obliged.

She got into a military style push up position (the kind where you go on your fists and do it) and Kazuo proceeded to sit all two hundred lbs. of himself on her back in Indian fashion.

Down.

Up (clap hands)

Down.

Up (clap hands)

The Naru-tachi watched for minute or two before going off to train.

Lee disappeared, off somewhere with Gai.

Hinata and Ino began sparring.

Sakura and Temari took turns practicing Taijutsu on one another.

Shikamaru lay back and watched as Kiba and Naruto began a training battle.

Shino went off to train his insects.

Sasuke and Gaara had disappeared into the forest, their "training" getting a little out of hand.

Sora and Hinode sat down and began an arguement over who would win if they got into a fight, Shino or Gaara.

After about thirty minutes of push ups, Akane shoved her brother off and began assaulting a poor defenseless tree.

Having finished their contest and it ending in a tie, Kiba and Naruto watched as Akane continued to maim the poor tree (she's probably fantasizing that it's them)

"Tiger style." Naruto noted as she left deep, claw like grooves in the bark.

Akane then brought her fingers together, switched her arms around quickly and stbbed at the tree, leaving wide cavities.

"Snake style." Temari observed, finished schooling Sakura (now gasping for air in a heap in the ground)

She then switched gears and spreading her fingers, curving them into claws, slammed her fingers into the bark, leaving deep holes.

"…scary style…" Kiba thought, sweating a little.

Switching gears again, she began kicking the poor tree, leaving long painful looking gashes.

Poor tree.

So abused!

What did the tree ever do to you? (shakes fist)

"How can she even do that?" Kankuro wondered, working on Kuroari, "She's built like a stick!"

Kurenai voiced Kankuro's thoughts…

…of course, in a far more polite manner.

"You are disciplined in Taijutsu?" she remarked, coming up behind Akane, who abruptly stopped brutalizing the tree upon sensing someone coming up behind her.

"Yeah…what of it?" she growled, glaring at the older woman.

Kakashi also approached as Kurenai took hold of one of Akane's wrists.

"It's surprising, that's all." She said lightly (surprising how? She's a freakin' ex-gang leader!)

"Her wrists are like twigs!" she thought.

"Tch. I don't build muscle well 's all." Akane snorted, pulling away roughly.

"I see." Kakashi nodded, still reading his book, "And why is that?"

"My mom abused me for six years and it did something weird to the way my body developed." Akane said dimissively, turning back to the tree, "It stunted my growth and made me permanently underweight. According to what a doctor told me, I should be around 5' 10" and 160 lbs; eight inches and sixty pounds heavier than what I am."

"THAT'S SO SAD!" Jiraiya cried bursting out of the bushes, "HERE! COME TO ME, YOU POOR, ABUSED PUSSYCAT! COME AND CRY IN MY AR-!"

-FWAM-

-KLUNG-

-WUNG-

-CHK-

-KLK-

-WHD-

What just happened was the following.

Akane kicked open the fun box.

She set up an bazooka.

And took aim at Jiraiya.

That's what happened.

Thank you.

"You have about five seconds to get outta here, ultra perv!" Akane said maliciously.

"Bye!" Jiraiya said with a quick wave, disappearing into the trees.

"What's th' matter Monkey?" Takaomi taunted, "Don't wanna get groped again?"

Kazuo immediately paled at the memory of what happened the night before and diverted his gaze to a innocent looking boulder.

"The ONLY ONE allowed ta grope MY BREASTSis HIDEK-ahwhoops! No one! I mean no one!" Akane said hastily.

"Hideki?" Suo said sharply, on her in an instant, "Who th' HELL is Hideki?"

"Her BOOOOYFRIENND!" Sora sang tauntingly.

"SORA!" Akane screamed, reddening.

"Ain't it cute?" Hinode giggled.

"It won't be fer long." Mannen growled.

"Is this true?" Kazuo snarled.

"N-NO!" Akane stammered, backing into the battered tree.

"Oh really?"Hinode asked slyly.

"These piccys say otherwise!" Sora snickered, flipping open a album she had pulled out of her pocket.

"AAAAAAAAAUGH! NO!" Akane shrieked.

"Yup." Sora nodded, inspecting on of the pictures, "Friends just don't french like that."

"WHERE TH' HELL DID YOU GET THOSE?" Akane screamed.

"About a month before this all started." Hinode supplied, "We we're looking for blackmail material ta use to convince you to go to Yatta Con with us."

"But instead we find out you've been hiding the fact you have a boyfriend." Sora sighed, "It's so saddening that you didn't trust uswith your secret!"

"SECRET NO LONGER!" Akane sobbed.

"And BOYFRIEND NO LONGER!" Mannen thundered.

"See, THIS is why I never TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU OVERPROTECTIVE FREAKS!" Akane roared.

(A/N: Orochimaru makes a cameo appearence, an attack on Konoha village, and That Akatsuki survivors drop in to say hi! All next chappie: The Lady Or the Tiger? R&R!)