Chapter 5

Bam was seated on a bar stool to his best ability and held and empty glass in front of him. Another pitcher of beer arrived before the guys and they refilled their glasses. About an hour or two later the guys were ready to go home. But once Bam got inside his house, he decided that he didn't get quite drunk enough at the bar, so he and Jenn stayed up for a while drinking together.

Bam sat on the couch and waited for Jenn to come back with more beer for the both of them. Jenn handed him one of the bottles of beer and then sat down next to him. He took one drink and let it rest in between his legs as he slowly slid down in his spot. Jenn propped him back up and he lifted his head up toward her.

"Whyre you bein' so good to me?" He slurred as he spoke

"What do you mean?"

He looked away from her "I've been horrible to you."

"No you haven't Bam. What are you talking about?"

"Yes I have. I cheated on you an' I kep' it from you for a long time." He said with a whimper in his voice "I still don' know why you stayed with me after what I did."

"Please don't bring this up, baby. We're happy now."

"Happy? How could you say that you're happy with me? I mean… not only… not only did I cheat on you but I'm a fucking no good cripple who can't do anything for himself." He began to cry before he finished speaking

Jenn sat her beer down and turned to Bam. She placed her hands on the sides of his face to wipe his tears away. She turned his head so he would be looking at her, keeping her hands on his face.

"Bam don't talk like that about yourself."

"But it's all true. I'm no good. How can you still be with me?"

"Bam I'm still with you because I love you."

"No you don't." He started to cry harder "No you don't. You're jus' sayin' that to make me feel better. How can you sit there and say that you love me after everything that's happened? How can you love me now tha' I'm in a fucking wheelchair?"

"Bam please stop doing this to yourself."

She wrapped her arms around him as he cried into her shoulder. After a minute of crying, his tears slowed down and he pulled himself away from her. He bent forward with his head hanging down and his eyes closed. He then reached out in front of him as if he was trying to find something on the floor.

"Bam what are you doing?"

"I need to go to the bathroom." He said as he crawled down to the floor. He sat on the floor with his legs spread out in front of him and looked up. "Where's… where's my wheelchair?"

"It's right here Bam." She said, bringing the chair up behind him. "You need help?"

Bam shook his head "No I'm fine."

He placed his hand behind him and grabbed the wheelchair. Then he tried to pull himself up, not realizing that Jenn was helping him. Once he was seated, he leaned forward and looked down at the floor.

"Told you I didn't need help." He said, causing Jenn to fight back a laugh

For a moment Bam sat there, looking like he was nodding off. Jenn placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at her.

"Bam? Did you still have to go to the bathroom?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Could you help me?"
She smiled "Sure Bam."

Jenn pushed Bam into the bathroom and helped him onto the toilet. This trip to the bathroom took longer than Jenn had expected, mostly due to the fact that Bam started crying again. She was growing frustrated, trying to calm Bam down enough for her to help him back into his wheelchair.

"Bam please stop talking like that." She pleaded as she handed him some toilet paper to dry his eyes with

"I jus'… I jus' feel like no one likes me anymore. I'm prob'ly gettin' on everyone's nerves, because I can' even go around me house without someone's help. I couldn't even go piss jus' now if you didn't help me in here. I'm no good. I'm just no good… just a big burden to everyone."

"Bam no you're not."

Bam sat there with a crumpled up piece of toilet paper in his hand and looked down, away from Jenn. They stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes, as Bam let the rest of his drunken tears fall from his eyes. Suddenly he lifted his head and looked up at her.

"I'm so sorry Jenn."

"For what?"

"For having you see me like this. I… I'm so sorry."

"Bam there's no reason to apologize. I…"

"Please just help me to bed. I'll try to make up for this tomorrow."

"Make up for what? There's nothing for you to make up for."

"Just… I need to go to bed."

"Ok let's go."

Jenn helped Bam upstairs and into bed. As soon as he was sprawled out beneath the covers, Bam passed out. Jenn crawled into bed beside him and turned the light out. After a while Jenn woke up to the sound of muffled gagging coming from the other side of the bed. She turned the light on and looked over towards Bam. 'Thank God he's lying on his stomach.' She thought as she got out of bed. She picked up the waste basket and carried it over to Bam's side of the bed, and placed it on the floor.

"Bam?" She placed a hand on his back "Bam the trash can's right here by you, ok?"

Almost immediately after she got into bed, Bam leaned over the side of the bed and began to vomit into the waste basket. Jenn reached over and placed a hand on Bam's back, and rubbed it while he vomited.

"It's ok baby. It's ok, just let it all out." She looked over him and cringed "Baby you're getting it all over the floor!" She groaned

When Bam was finished, Jenn got out of bed again and went into the bathroom. She returned with a large towel, that she was going to use to clean up the mess, and looked at Bam in the bed. At first he looked to have passed out again until he cracked his eyes open.

"You're too good to me Jenn. You know that?" He closed his eyes again

"Someone has to be." She said with a slight laugh, despite the fact that she had just begun to clean up.

When she finished cleaning up she took the towel into the bathroom and tossed it into the bathtub. She washed her hands, filled a glass of water for Bam, and then returned to the bedroom. Upon her return she saw that Bam was out cold, so she sat the glass on the side table near him before crawling back in bed. She reached for the light switch on the lamp, and sighed before turning the light out.