Of Spars and Vacant Cabins

Rated T

In which Percy Jackson doesn't receive the entirety of his memories back and when it's finally time for the Roman demigods to regard the Greeks with a peace treaty that will enable them to work against Gaea cohesively, Annabeth Chase finds herself developing a new relationship with Percy Jackson - one that glorifies brutality and roughness.

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Part Three:

"Anger."

Anger.

That was the only coherent emotion that coursed through Percy's brain as he left Annabeth alone in the woods. He was angry at the world. Angry at the gods. Angry at the Romans, the greeks. Annabeth.

Most especially, himself.

Percy felt disheartened as his teammates congratulated him, swarming him in a way that felt so suffocating up until the point where he felt as though it was necessary to push past all of them and stalk off to his cabin for the sake of his sanity. He couldn't even conjure a fake reaction to solidify his support of their happiness. What had happened with Annabeth made his head throb uncomfortably to where it required him to take paced, controlled breathes to soothe its intensity with each step he took to his cabin. The sound of loud cheers fading away in the distance allowed him to momentarily capture the beneficial aspect of silence: a peace of mind.

Percy had been extremely nervous, yet ready to meet the girl in his dreams: Annabeth. She was the only one he could partially remember and when he received noticed of their descent to Camp Half-Blood, that only increased his anticipation. Since Camp Half-Blood was such an integral force in his life before his memories were taken, he didn't think he was too far off to assume that Annabeth would be there waiting for him. Instead, the Annabeth waiting for him at Camp Half-Blood wouldn't even look him in the eyes and was excruciatingly avoidant. Here he was, desperate to discover a piece of information regarding his life prior to Camp Jupiter and his despair was overshadowed by anger and frustration. No one would be direct when he would ask other campers about his relationship to Annabeth, all of them being extremely vague and ending with, "You guys were really close." Though, close in what sense? When she was sitting alone during campfire, he'd figured it was the closest opportunity he would have to speaking to Annabeth privately that didn't involve Gaea or their impending quest of doom, so he took that opportunity and everything he had felt while he was having that conversation had felt unnaturally right. It intrigued him. His dreams of Annabeth intrigued him, he knew she meant a lot to him if she was the only one he could remember.

Though, remember wasn't exactly the right word. He remembered her face, her smile, her laugh but he didn't remember her. The memories that were so important to their dynamic.

As he lay in his bed, Percy twirled his Minotaur horn in his hands excessively, as if he couldn't stop.

His minotaur horn. Hah.

He was hoping it would bring him an inkling of a memory but, of course, it didn't. None of the objects in his room triggered any memories. He had spent the past few days exploring Camp Half-Blood, talking to campers, and scavenging his cabin in hopes of personally recovering something related to his past, not something that someone had told him. The only thing to truly trigger him was when he kissing Annabeth, he had remembered her nickname. He knew he was wrong for blowing her off like that but the faint memory that flew through his mind had pained him and being around her felt stifling.

He was confused.

Being around her felt overwhelming, so he responded in a way that felt safe to him. With everything that was going on, one would expect him to gravitate toward other people, though, sometimes he found himself pushing them away. Annabeth didn't want to speak to him, then here she is allowing him to kiss her like that? He'd be wrong to say he didn't want to do it, he craved her. He knew, if anything, she was craving him, too. His body acted in a way that seemed reminiscent of repetition, like he had done it before. Just how it had been when he had first fought with his sword he later remembered as Riptide.

Percy knew he wasn't the smartest demigod, but he knew that Annabeth had to have been his girlfriend or someone he was romantically involved with. It hurt him more knowing that the one person he had been waiting for didn't even seem to want to be around him, especially when he needed them most.

All Percy wanted was agency over his life, his memories. . .

Then, all over again, the anger returned.

He threw the minotaur horn against the wall and somberly willed himself to sleep, ignoring the tentative knocks at his door from concerned people who he knew wasn't Annabeth.

At breakfast, Percy sat alone, clenching his jaw as he watched campers and legionnaires of their respective godly parents eating together. Of course, they weren't mandated to do so anymore because he heard someone would excessively break that rule but it was advised to get to know your half-sibling from your godly parents' other counterpart as a means of learning solidarity. These past few days, Grover, a satyr who had mentioned they were best friends and occasionally would retell stories of their adventures, would sit next to him. He greatly appreciated Grover and could see why they were best friends through the many conversations they had. Hazel and Frank would come over, or Reyna, at times, to check in with their conjoined Praetor duties. However, no one had come over him this morning, so he dejectedly sat alone. Even before then, people he was familiar with or grew slightly familiar with would greet him or check up on him, but at the sight of his glowering, they resorted to head nods or awkward smiles. He knew he didn't seem very inviting at the moment.

From time to time, he found himself stealing looks at Annabeth. He couldn't help himself. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, a few hair strands framing her face, and her eyes. . .they looked so dull and pained, adorned with contours that would only result from a lack of sleep. It tore at his heart and caused him to stop looking, more and more, until the tightness in jaw grew sore from each glance he took. Beneath all of the hurt and dullness that took over her features, Percy still believed her to be beautiful.

Once again, Percy's emotions felt staggering, uncontrollable, and viciously untamed, all at once. He longed to go over to Annabeth and comfort her. It sucked, it really sucked. He felt trapped in a body he didn't understand as his own and felt as though he was being held captive in a mind that betrayed him of his own sense of self.

Nothing felt like his own.

Percy was nearly done with his breakfast when a plate unexpectedly slammed down on the table in front of him, drawing the attention of nearby tables before they reluctantly looked away due to meeting Annabeth's firm glare.

When Annabeth look back toward him, he was met with startling grey eyes that gleamed at him miserably. He knew it was misery because it was what he felt himself whenever he looked in the mirror. An expression he wore on his face for too long now. They stared at each for a few seconds, with this odd quality of fierceness behind it, before Annabeth broke eye contact and took her seat in front of him.

Annabeth's plate was half finished and she instantly picked up her fork to continue eating. In something he was familiar with doing, she avoided eye contact with him and continued to nibble on her food, carrying on eating as if he wasn't there. Slightly disoriented, Percy picked up his fork as well and easily finished his food, openly staring at Annabeth expectantly from time to time. She kept her eyes down. They ate in silence and as the silence prolonged, Percy's annoyance spiked. He was tired of whatever game they were playing, especially since he didn't even know how to play.

"Why are you even-"

"You really hurt me," Annabeth cut him off, holding her fork tightly in her hand while her eyes glowed with the outlines of what could've been tears. As she passionately looked him in the eyes, her bottom lip trembled and he could see her chest heaving as she took heavy breaths.

"I-"

"After you left me," she started, swallowing then sighing heavily as she breathed the words out. "The first time. Not last night. When you disappeared, I walked so far deep into the woods and I cried for hours. The tree nymphs were so irritated with me. They even had to send a search team out for me. After being best friends for years, we finally made the transition to boyfriend and girlfriend. It was awkward at first, of course knowing you, but we grew more and more intimate, not just physically but emotionally. We lost eight months of what could've been the best eight months of our lives. I searched everywhere for you. Everywhere I could think. Everywhere I thought would be possible to look." Annabeth paused, chancing a glance at Percy, who was staring intensely at her.

"Percy, I grew depressed and I hate to say it, I lost hope. As a demigod, if you're gone for that long. . ." Annabeth trailed off, shaking her head as she blinked tears away. "So, when I find out my boyfriend is coming back, I was so happy. So excited, really nervous. This time I wasn't going to let you out of my sight, but as much as the idea of you being here with me made me happy. . .my doubts overpowered my certainties. What didn't sit right with me was that you couldn't remember anything, just like Jason. As fucked up as it sounds, I was too naive to think that this could end in a happy ending. That was always a concern to me, I'd be stupid to think that Hera would make this any easier for me but knowing you were alive gave me hope. So, I didn't care. Believe me, I was happy to see you remember my name but, Percy, as the days passed, I've realized I don't know you anymore. This person that I see in front of me? I'm having a hard time accepting that this isn't something you or I can control. As if we even know what control means," Annabeth laughed bitterly, gnawing nervously on her lower lip.

Annabeth seemed to pause in her confession to stare deeply into Percy's eyes, as if she was searching for the person she was claiming she had lost.

"I'm having a hard time seeing you. I see you, but I cannot see you anymore. You can't remember anything: our first quest, our first kiss, or our first date. I've been so scared to allow you close to me because I'm afraid that if I do, it won't ever be the same. I can't handle the idea of you not being able to love me like how I love you. Maybe it's not even about love, maybe you just won't be interested in me anymore because, well, you don't fucking know me. I'm not sure if I can handle that, Percy. When you called me Wise Girl and kissed me like that. . .I was so hopeful but when you left me alone in the woods, you solidified my fears. That's why I avoided you, I've been so selfish in trying to protect myself and my sanity, I've been denying you of something that was once important to you. You didn't deserve to be held in the dark and, for that, I am so sorry."

Annabeth sat there, embarrassed, as she bit her lip to keep herself from releasing a sob. Her tears silently streamed down her face, but were quickly wiped away just as fast as they had come. She felt pathetic doing this in such a public space but she knew this situation was beyond the state of her pride. With getting to know Percy, especially when they became more intimate, she realized that maintaining the stubbornness that came with hubris was not healthy for personal growth. Annabeth never wanted to be the same person if it meant she could not evolve into something that would teach her necessary lessons for growth. She felt as though she couldn't wait any longer for a conversation that should have happened over a week ago, and she felt like she was betraying Percy of being able to know such a crucial part of his past.

Sadly, it took some time for Annabeth to understand that that was her.

Percy looked at her strangely, as if he was mystified. "Thank you. . .for finally telling me. But I just need you to know I didn't ask for any of this to happen. I'm sorry if I'm not the person you knew before but, fuck, I'm trying. I want to know who I am and who all these people around me meant to me. I knew you were someone who was important to me if I could at least remember your name and your face. Meeting you. . .I just knew. I knew we had to be more than friends with how you looked at me and how I felt when you looked at me. I just knew, trust me."

Annabeth considered his words with a pained sigh and nodded, looking blankly to the side.

At this point, demigods were getting up to start their day at Camp Half-blood. Percy and Annabeth were nearly sitting alone, ignoring the curious glances they were receiving from their fellow campers and legionnaires.

Percy turned to Annabeth again, biting his lower lip. "You want to talk somewhere more private?"

"Okay," Annabeth whispered, giving him a strained smiled.

As Camp Jupiter was stationed at Camp Half-Blood, Greek and Roman demigods found themselves falling into schedule cohesively as an effort to train against Gaea and her army. They knew the battle was coming to them soon, and they knew the seven demigods of the prophecy would have to sail away on their quest soon, as well. This short period of time was being used a means to procure battle strategies and support for the seven on their quest. Though, instead of training, Percy and Annabeth found themselves sulking, respectively. It was only a matter of time before they both broke, emotionally, and everyone around them knew it.

As they walked away from the mess hall, Percy and Annabeth's footsteps led them toward the nearly vacant cabins. At this, Annabeth grew confused.

"Where are we going?" Annabeth asked, slowing down her steps.

"To my cabin," Percy replied, stopping his steps to turn around and look at Annabeth.

"You know we're not allowed in each other's cabins unless it's for inspections, right?" Annabeth asked, her eyes shining in what Percy almost thought was mischief.

Percy narrowed his eyes at her, looking her up and down before continuing the short-lived journey to his cabin. "I don't care."

Annabeth smiled secretively to herself, he couldn't possibly know that Annabeth had been in his cabin multiple times without an inspection needing to occur.

As they entered Percy's cabin, Percy surged forward to clean the slight mess that consisted of amiss boxers, a few shirts, a water bottle, and his minotaur horn that was normally pinned on his wall. Percy rubbed his neck sheepishly, his face slightly red, and motioned for Annabeth to sit on his half-assed made bed. The reaction to his dirty room reminded Annabeth of her Seaweed Brain, not the Percy she was trying to get to know now. She had to remind herself that he was still Percy, memories or not. It wasn't fair to treat him as if he were some alien. If anything, she was the alien to him.

Percy leaned back against the wall in front of Annabeth, sliding onto his bottom to get in a more comfortable sitting position. He rubbed his hands and glanced at Annabeth.

"So," Percy started, sighing.

"So," Annabeth parroted, smiling weakly.

It took him a few moments before he spoke again.

"I've been depressed, too. At least that's what it feels like. Y'know, this whole situation is depressing? I mean, how could it not be? But, Annabeth, I'm sorry that I hurt you. Seeing you cry? Yeah, I don't know, but that hurt me too," Percy admitted, his eyebrows were scrunched in confusion as if he were still trying to comprehend his own words. He looked deep in thought as he absentmindedly peered down at his clasped hands."When we kissed, I don't know if it's a weird thing to say but that was the first time I felt like something. Like, I felt like myself. I usually only feel that way when I'm fighting. So, I responded in a way that made me felt comfortable because I still wasn't able to process all of those emotions at once. I mean, I'm still not even now. I wasn't ready to talk about it and I'm not sure when I will be. I know kissing you was inappropriate and I'm sorry that it happened, especially since it's hard for you to see me. Like you said, I don't even know who I am," Percy said, repeating Annabeth's painful words that made her flinch in regret.

"With everything going on, can we at least try to be friends? For the sake of the quest," Percy suggested, a blank expression on his face as he looked at her with guarded eyes.

Friends. Back to square one. All that build up resetting. Her heart pulsed uncomfortably, but she knew having him near her was more important than any status they shared.

"Okay," Annabeth agreed, smiling tightly. "For the sake of the quest, I guess we could be friends."

It looked like Percy wanted to smile but repressed it when he finally found it within himself to look away. "Cool. We should go to the arena, then." He stood up, wiping off his hands and, eventually, resorted to smiling firmly at her to avoid the awkwardness that would come if he didn't.

As they walked to the arena, they were immersed in a comfortable silence with muted thoughts that concealed their reciprocated doubts and worries about what this new friendship would entail.

Especially since Percy wasn't actually sorry for kissing Annabeth.

And, the last thing Annabeth wanted was to start off as friends again.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, I decided I'm going to make this into a mini story instead of dumping a 15k chapter on y'all lol, 'cause I really was gonna do that and call it day but it bothers me that the previous chapters aren't as long, so I won't. And it gives me more time to truly develop the story. I guess that leaves more room for anticipation!

Also, thank you all for your very kind words from the author's note I posted a week ago about #BLM, I appreciate the support and glad to see that I have like-minded individuals reading my stories. 3

Anyway, leave a review with your thoughts or what you think might happen next. ;)

Please stay safe.

- MotherofFandoms xx