Chapter 2
The first part is in Mark's POV and then it switches into Rogers POV because I think its important to know how Mark is feeling.
Disclaimer: If I owned them...well...I certainly wouldn't be writing about them. They belong to other people like Jonathon Larson and such.
Thanks to: My first three reviewers! Thanks so much Dramafool, Koishii-Kitsune-Akira, and Jacinda! You guys made me feel great and made me want to update! Thank you sooooo much!
Understand I'm Scared
Marks POV
When I wake up it takes me a while to realize where I'm at, but slowly I realize that I'm in Roger's room. But why am I in here? I go to get up when I feel something wrapped around me and I'm a little startled but then I realize that it's Roger's arms. Ok...so why am I in Roger's room, in Roger's arms? Then I remember...shit. Shit, shit, SHIT! He wasn't supposed...how did he know? Great...he must hate me now. He'd have to, after seeing what I've done to myself. Dammit...this wasn't supposed to happen. I have to get out. I have to get out now, I can't deal with this, I can't I can't I CAN'T. I slowly untangle myself from his arms...his arms...I only wish that I were in his arms for another reason...and then I go into my room, grab my coat and scarf and of course my camera. Then I head for the bathroom to grab, what else, a razor. I'm about to walk out the door when I hear him say "And where do you think you're going Mark?" "Out" I realize how dead my voice sounds when I say that. Oh well. "No Mark, stay here, please talk to me. Come on, please." "No" He starts to come near me and I know that if I let him he'll stop me, because he's bigger than I am, but I'm much faster so I run. I leave the loft and run down the stairs and out. And I just keep running, and for once I finally understand why Roger leaves when he has problems. It's so much easier than dealing with them. So I run...I don't know where I'm running to, but I run.
Rogers POV
I start to wake up whenever he pulls out of my embrace. I don't quite let him know I'm awake because I want to see what he does. As soon as he leaves my room, I quietly go over to the door and listen, ready in case he does something stupid. I hear him go into his room, then the bathroom, then I hear him head towards the door. I don't want him to leave, I want him to stay here where I can at least try to keep him safe. I ask him where he's going and when he answers, God, he sounds so dead inside. I beg him to stay here with me and talk to me, but he says no. I can tell he's about ready to leave so I go towards him, if I can get to him, I can make him stay. He bolts though and I know I won't be able to catch him. He's quite the fast runner, picked it up from being the target of so many bullies through school. I don't know what to do. Now I know what it must feel like for him when I leave and I feel horrible. He doesn't deserve to ever feel this way, this scared, this hurt. He doesn't. I don't know what to do though, so I decide to go visit Mimi because she at least knows how to deal with me leaving, so she may know how to help me.
I go down to her apartment and knock, just in case, and I hear a very muffled "Who is it?" "It's me Mimi,I need...I need you help." Mimi opens the door and takes one look at me and pulls me into a hug and asks me whats wrong. So I tell her, not all about what Mark does, just that we had a fight and he left instead of me. "Don't worry babe, I know he'll come back. You always did when we used to go out, every time we had a fight, you always came back." "Marks different though, Mimi. He was upset and mad I think. I can't stand this feeling." "I know babe, but don't worry he'll come back. Do you wanna stay here until he does?" I agree, and not for the first time, I'm so glad that Mimi and I stayed close after the break-up. She knows how I feel about Mark, about how much I want him, need him, love him. She's one of my best friends to talk to, except for Mark. So I get comfy in my favorite chair of hers and wait. And wait. I'll wait up until he comes back. I'd wait up forever for him.
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