Chapter 3
Here's Chapter 3...Hope you enjoy
Thanks to: L'il Senzu, Kasey Clark and Jacinda! Thanks soooooooooooooo much guys for reviewing. I really appreciate it so very very very very much!
Disclaimer: Again...don't own any of them because if I did then Rent would be completely different. Completely. And if you'd like to sue...well...you'll get some Ramen, some water, a Johnny Depp comforter and my Rent CD. So yea...its really not worth it. Anyways, on with the show!
Who do you think you are?
Mark's POV
I don't know how late it was by the time I got back to the loft. It had to have been at least midnight or 1 but I'm not sure. I only came back because I was exhausted. I ran I don't know how far, then I filmed a bit, and did other things too. I'm kind of ashamed of what I do. Why can't I deal with things like normal people do, I don't know. I know it's not a good way of dealing with things,but I still do it. It feels good and it works. It's better than screaming and throwing things in the middle of the night. That would wake Rog up and upset him. I don't want that.
I'm such a sap for him. I'd do anything for him and to protect him. I don't want him to know how shitty I feel all the time or how stressed out I always am. He'd probably blame himself and I don't want that because it's not his fault at all. The only person who's fault it is is mine. At least I won't have to deal with him tonight, it's so late that he's probably asleep or out. If I go to bed now, and wake up early tomorrow morning, leave and then stay out late again I can avoid him for at least a little while longer. I feel sort of guilty for wanting to avoid him, but I know he must think I'm a freak and I want to avoid him yelling at me for as long as possible. Because thats what he's gonna do first. And I don't need that, I don't think my heart could handle him angry with me.
I change into my pajamas and decide to go brush my teeth. I must be really out of it, because I don't even hear the loft door open or Roger walking towards to bathroom. Because the next thing I know he's standing in the bathroom door, blocking my exit, and shit he looks upset, anger and...even scared? I was hoping to avoid him for a little longer. Dammit.
Rogers POV
I'm still awake in Mimi's apartment when he comes back. I hear him going up the stairs but I wait until I hear the loft door slide shut before I start up the stairs. I'm trying to make as little noise as possible so I don't scare him away. I thought about it all afternoon, how to talk to him, how to get answers and I realized that I have to catch him off guard when he's just finished cutting himself so he's calm. I open the loft door and I hear the water running in the sink. I hope to god he's not or it's going to be a repeat of earlier.
I stand in the door and thank god he's only brushing his teeth. I say his name and he jumps, literally jumps, and I feel kind of bad that I startled him. He finishes with his teeth and then tries to get around me with a "Not now Roger, I'm tired and I want to sleep" but I won't let him.
"Mark, no. We're going to talk. I want to know why."
"Why what?" He asks pretending to be confused.
"You wanna play that way Mark? Fine. Why won't you talk to me? Why don't you trust me enough to help you with the obvious pain you're in? Why are you hurting yourself like this?"
"Roger, I...Look I don't want to talk about it. Fuck off. I'm going to bed. Now move."
Marks POV
He'd better fucking move or I swear I'll...I'll...well I don't know what I'll do, but it will not be pleasant or enjoyable for him. I just want to go to sleep dammit. Why won't he move? I can't handle this, not now, not at all ever actually. "Rog, please...just move...I can't do this right now. Please?" I know I sound pathetic. I know I do. I don't expect him to actually move, but to my surprise he does.
"Marky, please, just, talk to me sometime. I can listen despite what you may think. I care about you so much. I don't want you to hurt at all, ever. Go to bed. We can talk in the morning. I don't care what I have to do to get you to talk to me. We're talking. Otherwise, I'm telling everyone. Do you really want that?"
Shit. Shit shit shit shit. Why does he have say things like that? Damn him. "Fine, we'll talk in the morning I guess. If we have to."
"Good. Go sleep now Marky. Goodnight"
I don't answer him as I walk past him to go to my bedroom and sleep.
Rogers POV
I know he's pissed. I don't care though. Thank God he agreed to talk to me. I don't know how I would tell everyone about this. They think he's happy here. I don't know if I could destroy their delusion. It was hard enough for me. I guess I should probably get ready for bed now, so that way tomorrow comes sooner and I can talk to Mark and find out whats going on. I meant what I said, I don't want him to hurt anymore. Just the thought of it makes me feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest and trampled upon. I walk past his closed door and whisper "Good night my little filmmaker. I love you." and then I go into my room and prepare to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.
Hope you enjoyed it!