The Company

It was a steady flow of blocks and strikes when we stopped to rest for the night. Stone had insisted upon combat practice, and I was keen to agree with him. His flail nearly wrapped around my blade as I blocked a blow to my lower thigh, so I yanked to pull the blade free. Stone was only too glad to let me as he quickly pivoted his arm in the opposite direction, bringing the flail over himself and down to my right shoulder. I blocked just in time for the chain to be caught by the sword, sending the head of the weapon just short of my pauldron. I tried to follow up with another thrust, but Stone was ready for it and backed away, deflecting the attack with a flick of the shield. I retook my stance as Stone began to flourish the flail, allowing its momentum to come to a natural stop.

"Not bad, Liam, most men would have fallen for that." He said, approval more than evident in his voice. He did not wait for me to respond, instead he rushed forward with his shield, looking to slam into me. I had expected such a move and positioned the tip of my sword under the left corner of his shield. With a flick of both wrists the shield was forced away from his chest, Stone recovered quickly though, and brought the flail around with a haste that prevented a counterattack. Instead I pivoted my blade and took a step back, allowing the sword to again catch the chain and wrap around it. My outstretched arms provided more than enough distance for the flail to swing harmlessly in front of me before I pulled my weapon free, Stone backing away as he twirled his own.

"Most men don't know you as well as I do, Stone. I know all your tricks." I boasted. Stone chuckled and flourished his weapon again as I steeled myself, waiting for him to make his move. Stone took a single step forward, but halted as another voice yelled out.

"Can you two stop your pissing match before one of you ends up bleeding in the snow?" Deborah shouted. I lowered my blade and looked to my right, seeing her glaring daggers at the both of us. She was covered both in her own furs and mine, huddled close to the fire we had constructed about a half hour before. A small pot cooked a stew above it, and the soft glow illuminated the tents behind her.

"Easy Bard, Liam and I have sparred many times, we know how to keep it under control." Stone said, a fierce determination practically dripped from every word. This did nothing to convince Deborah, who only changed the direction of her glare towards him.

"And if something goes wrong? Or if some brigand hears you and comes running up while we're tired? What then, Conqueror? Will you keep it 'controlled' then?" She rebuked. In truth, I had been so eager to spar with my old friend, I hadn't considered that possibility. I lowered my sword further and turned to glance at Stone, he seemed unmoved at first. Before long though, his shoulders slumped and he relaxed, sighing as he lowered his shield.

"Your companion is no fun, Liam." He whined, jerking his arm quickly and pinning the length of chain against his handle. I likewise allowed myself to ease, fully dropping my blade and carrying it harmlessly at my side.

"Survival often isn't fun, Stone. There will be time for such things once we are in the safety of Castle Nov Domas." I paused for a moment, then corrected myself; "If we are granted safety in Castle Nov Domas." Stone breathed deeply before sighing loudly, then turning to face the camp site.

"Suppose you're right about that. In the meantime, let's eat, I'm starving." He was walking towards the fire before he had even finished speaking. I followed his lead and made my way towards our accommodations, if that was the proper term. The land around us was still covered in snow, but the night was warmer than the past few evenings, warm enough for us to camp outside of a cave or outcrop at least. I hoped this was a sign of winter beginning to make way for spring. Deborah slid over from one of the freshly cleared patches of grass, I took my place beside her, grunting a bit from effort.

"So how much longer until we arrive at our destination? I'm more than a little eager to be done with this weather." She said, shifting the furs over as she shivered. While I took no pleasure in seeing her in such a state, it did my heart well to know that she was capable of doing so again. Stone seemed to stop in place and drop like a ton of bricks, I half wondered if he'd hurt something on his way down. If he had, he didn't show it, instead sighing and looking into the pot.

"Well, thanks to present company, I'd say we still have a full day's worth of travel ahead. This path is already out of the way, and someone requires us to proceed slower than I'd like." He mused, taking the opportunity to undo the leather strap under his helmet. As he leaned back, he took it with both hands and pulled, revealing his short, messy brown hair and less than well kept facial hair. He sighed in appreciation as the cold air surrounded his matured face, closing his brown eyes as he allowed himself to relax. Deborah seemed unamused, and pulled the furs tighter around her.

"My apologies, I wasn't aware my being stabbed was such an inconvenience to you." She retorted. Stone gave her a look as he grabbed at his waist, reaching for one of the packs along his side. He didn't respond to her, instead opting to glance at her and smirk. Deborah tilted her head slightly, then smirked herself as she spoke again.

"In fact, I believe it was me covering for the two of you that got me stabbed in the first place." Her voice was accusatory in tone, and I felt a pain in my chest as she spoke. No matter how much time passed between my faults, none of them seemed to get any easier to bear. I sighed and removed my own helmet, hoping to keep my mind off such things. The few beads of sweat that had formed on my head were immediately cooled, which I found comforting.

"Yes, yes, a regular hero you are, Bard. If I recall, I didn't need to be covered until you two came along. Perhaps you could write a song about that, and all your heroics there. " Stone said jokingly. I knew he was joking, but I couldn't help but see the truth of what he was saying. I led Blackstone to him, I was the reason we were here. Deborah actually laughed in response to this.

"Perhaps I will, good Conqueror. I'll be sure to put special mention on the idiot Knight who got me into that mess in the first place." She shot back. Another pang of guilt flooded my chest as I closed my eyes and shook my head. It was silent for a moment after that, save for the crackling of the fire. When I opened my eyes again, I saw both Stone and Deborah looking at me, illuminated by the dim glow of the fire. Both seemed far less jovial.

"Liam, I wasn't trying to say…" Deborah began. She stammered a bit, as if lost for words. Stone seemed to realize this, and tried to finish her thought.

"We were just poking fun at one another, Liam. We didn't mean to imply this was your fault." He explained. I believed them, I was sure they wouldn't try to berate me like that, not intentionally, at least. Unfortunately, I also recognized that it was my own psyche that implied these things, not the words of another. That was much harder to rationalize. I didn't want to ruin the night more than I had, so I shook my head and forced as much of a smile as I could.

"I know, it's just my mind running where I don't want to. Think nothing of it." I said. Stone held my gaze for a moment, but did not appear convinced. He spared a glance at Deborah, and she to him.

"How bad is it?" He asked. My smile faded as I looked between the two of them. Despite my efforts, I couldn't seem to get a proper read on either of them. How bad was what? Were they working with one another? To what end? No, don't be ridiculous, I thought. They barely know one another, besides, I trusted them.

"You know?" Deborah asked, letting the furs loosen a bit. I shifted uncomfortably as Stone nodded.

"I know he struggled with his oath and his heart when he began questioning Appolyon. I thought he'd found his peace, but knowing that he's alive…" His words began to slowly fade as he spoke, becoming almost inaudible by the final word. My grip involuntarily tightened, my hand feeling the strain as I grew more and more tense. Deborah sighed and looked at the fire, still burning strongly.

"Our first night, he seemed to lose himself in a memory. He kept saying "Svengard" over and over again. I worry about that still…" She confessed. They did not look at me once in this entire exchange, was that intentional? Or were they simply too lost to consider my presence? My cheeks began to heat up as I breathed more rapidly, urging myself to remain calm. The last thing we needed was a group of bandits overhearing me. Stone finally looked at me with a certain expression written on his features, I knew the look. It was stern, but not prying, determined, but easy.

"Stone, I'm fine." I said slowly, emphasizing each word as we locked eye contact. I did not wish to speak of this, I wanted to make sure he knew that. He either didn't understand or he ignored me.

"No. No you're not. From the sound of it, you're getting worse." He accused. I breathed deeply and exhaled. I had to remain calm, I knew that. If I lost my temper, Stone would only be proven right. I had to convince him he was wrong. I was fine, I had to make him see that. It was easier said than done, when I struggled to see it myself most days. Still, I had to try.

"That night was a one time moment of struggle, I rose above it." I explained. It was a fight to keep my voice calm and collected, but I did not raise it. Not once did I increase my volume, nor did I imply any sort of doubt. There was nothing for him to latch onto in my tone. Stone didn't respond for some time, he simply stared at me, and I back at him. Was he trying to read me? Why? There was nothing to read. Finally, he placed his hands on his knees and rubbed them, leaning back as he continued to study me.

"You've already risen above many struggles, my friend. How much further do you expect me to believe you've climbed?" He asked. I shifted again, feeling my blood heating up as he spoke. I took a moment to relax myself, a moment that lasted longer than I would have liked. When I returned to myself, I found that my fist had clenched again, tighter than it had been before. What was wrong with me? I needed to keep hold of myself… Another deep breath left my lips before I spoke again.

"I've come to terms with my actions as one of Blackstone's numbers, I'll come to terms with this as well." I said. Not a moment after I'd finished speaking, Stone had already responded.

"So have you risen above, or have you come to terms?" He demanded. The heat began to rise up in me again, but this time I did not hesitate. Stone was accusing me of something. I was sure of it.

"What difference does that make? I am beyond it now, so leave it." I growled. I'd lost myself, I could hear it in my voice. My frustration would be all too apparent, my assurances lost. I tried to calm down but only felt myself delving deeper into my frustration. I wanted this to be over with, but Stone wouldn't let it die. Why? Was my word not enough for him?

"Okay that's enough, both of you!" Deborah commanded. Enough? Stone was implying something and I was supposed to just leave it?

"No! Let him speak, I want to know what he accuses me of." I barked. For a brief moment I saw Deborah recoil from me, sinking into herself as her eyes shifted towards alarm. It lasted only a moment, but it was all too clear from my view. My head seemed to clear for a second as I glanced at her, before my attention was stolen again by Stone.

"Now you're lashing out at her? Your sworn charge?" He questioned. Again I felt the heat rising in me as I looked back at him, any softness or understanding from before had faded. There was an intensity in his eyes now, one I tried to match. I opened my mouth to speak, but he spoke first.

"It's one thing to lie to yourself, Liam, it's another to let your wrath rule you!" He shouted, pointing an accusatory finger in my direction. Lying? Wrath? Was he really insulting me like that? I stood suddenly and glared at him, my blood running hotter than ever as my breathing grew more rapid. Stone's expression seemed to harden, and he pushed against his knees and stood, grunting with effort as he did. I was not backing down.

"Stone. I. Am. Fine." I repeated, I no longer cared enough to keep my voice calm. The frustration and anger was clear even to me. Stone's brow furrowed as he crossed his arms, his gaze held steady. The night didn't feel so cool any more.

"Do you really think you'll be better if you just tell yourself that over and over again? You are suffering, Liam! Ignoring it is only going to kill you!" He yelled.

"I am ignoring nothing!" I shouted back. Stone growled and threw his arms in the air, extending towards me and looking as if he wanted to strangle me.

"Yes you are! Are you really too stupid to realize that? Or is that just something you refuse to see too?" He shouted. My fist clenched and I stepped forward, rage practically spilling out of me. I'd had enough of this.

"Stop it! Both of you stop this right now!" Deborah suddenly shouted, rising to her feet with a speed that surprised me. Just as suddenly as she rose, she seemed to collapse, crying out in pain as she grabbed at her side, falling onto her haunches and then her back as she grit her teeth and groaned loudly. The rage seemed to fade in an instant as I rushed toward her and knelt at her side.

I held my hand just above her shoulder, ready to grab her if she needed help standing. What had happened? Had she strained herself? Had the injury worsened and we didn't realize?

"What happened, is she alright?" I heard Stone say. I looked up and saw him fall to his knees as he watched her, alert and ready. I shook my head, then gently placed my hand on Deborah's shoulder as she clenched her eyes and groaned. I needed to see what had happened.

"Deborah, I'm going to lift your shirt just enough to inspect your injury." I said. Out of the corner of my view I could see her nod as she held her lips shut, eyes still clenched. I carefully untucked the bottom of her shirt and pulled slowly, revealing her abdomen little by little. When I raised it high enough to see her wound, I saw that there was a small dot of fresh blood on the bandages. I couldn't tell where the blood was coming from with it in the way, let alone how badly she was doing. I needed to remove it. I looked up to Deborah, she was breathing deeply and still hadn't opened her eyes.

"Deborah, I need you to look at me, can you do that?" I asked, I was just able to see Stone reaching for something at his side. Deborah whined, but did open her eyes, it was clear to me she was holding back tears. As much as my heart broke seeing her like this, I forced myself to focus.

"You're bleeding again, and I can't see why. I need to remove the bandage to get a better look, do I have your blessing to do so?" I asked. Deborah winced a bit as I explained, but seemed to understand.

"Yeah, yeah just do it." She said, straining a bit through deep breaths to do so. I nodded back at her as Stone pulled a vial from a pouch at his side. Carefully, I peeled at the edges of the bandage, a sweet smell emanating from it as it slowly rolled away. I was careful to keep it as painless as I could, though I feared from Deborah's whimpering that I was not succeeding. When I finally had the bandage off, I had a clear view of the wound. It was a little more than half an inch wide, and appeared to be mostly scabbed up, save for a small piece near the base of the wound. There, I could see that part of the scab had been ripped away. Blood slowly oozed from the opening, though thankfully not enough to be worrying. I had seen minor injuries like this many times during battle, unless it became infected, she would be alright.

"It looks like part of the wound opened again, it's an easy fix." I explained, looking Deborah in the eye as I did. She closed her eyes again and looked away. Stone turned over his vial briefly, and poured out what looked like salt as he eyed the wound.

"I'll get a bit of salt around it, that should keep it from getting anything." He said. Deborah groaned and looked at him.

"Can't you just leave it? I'd rather not have salt rubbed in my stab wound." She complained. I could understand her hesitation.

"If that gets infected and closes, you're gonna be in far worse shape than if we do this." He countered. Deborah groaned and laid her head back down, her breathing speeding up again. I gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as I let go of the bandage and reached for one of her hands, taking it in my own. She turned to look at me, tears now flowing freely.

"Squeeze as hard as you need to." I said. Deborah nodded and turned to the sky, closing her eyes and clasping my hand tightly. I never took my eyes away from her, even as she winced and yelped. I could see Stone gently pressing into the wound, holding his finger there for a few moments. Deborah held onto my hand tightly, I could feel her grip even through my gauntlets.

"Are you almost done?" She said through gritted teeth, opening her eyes and glaring daggers at Stone. I looked up at him, seeing him pull his hand away and closing the vial.

"We're done, all that's left is to put the bandage back." He confirmed. Before long, Deborah's grip loosened in my hand, though she did not release it. I made no effort to pull away, more than willing to allow her to keep hold as she panted and whimpered against the pain. After a few more moments, she looked at me and chuckled in between labored breaths.

"Well that sucked." She joked. I found myself smiling alongside her, glad to see her in better spirits. I broke eye contact for a moment to put the bandage back, taking care to place the clean side by the freshly cleaned scab. The bandage was still sticky enough to attach properly to her side. With it properly secured, I lowered her shirt back over her stomach, then gently took her hand again and pulled up. Deborah grunted in effort as she sat up, holding her side and wiping her eyes with her free hand.

"Is there anything we can do for you?" I asked. She exhaled one more time and sniffed before looking at me, that same smile still gracing my sight.

"I could really use some of that stew right about now." She said, it was a simple request, but one that was easy enough to accommodate. I turned towards Stone, and again saw him reaching for another pouch at his side, this time he took what seemed like some sort of seasoning and threw it in the pot before stirring it.

"What did you just put in there?" I asked. Stone acknowledged my question with a shrug, before observing the stew more closely.

"A personal blend I have made out of some spices. Just some salt, sage, and thyme. Nothing extraordinary, but it should help with the taste." He explained. I in turn acknowledged him, then turned my focus back to Deborah. She still seemed to be in pain, rubbing her side gently as she continued inhaling and exhaling in a soft rhythm. All this travel wasn't good for her, the sooner we got to Castle Nov Domas, the better. She needed to be able to rest for a while, she deserved that much.

"Where did you find spices at this time of year?" She asked, turning to face Stone. Stone smirked and gave her a smug look before reaching back to his satchel. It still astonished me how quickly Stone's mood could shift.

"You'd be amazed what you can find on the road, lady Bard. If you pay attention, you can find a whole kitchen's worth of spices." He gloated, pulling three wooden bowls from his satchel as he spoke. Two of them he had already carried with him, the third had been donated by myself before we'd left Herongale. Without a word he began filling the bowls, the broth shimmering ever so slightly as he did.

"Ladies first." He declared, handing the bowl towards me. In any other case, I'd assume he was poking fun again. But I was closer to Deborah, and passing it to me meant he didn't have to abandon the pot. I took the bowl from him and observed it's contents. Small bits of rabbit emerged just over the broth, a few greens and a few bits of onion were scattered around them as the stew swirled. It wasn't a meal fit for a lord, but it didn't need to be. I smiled softly and handed the bowl to Deborah, her emerald eyes lit up as she took it eagerly with both hands.

I turned to look at Stone next, seeing him fill the remaining bowls with the steaming stew. My thoughts seemed to shift again, but not to bitterness or spite. Honestly, I'm not sure I could describe my emotions at that moment. I was still irritated with him over his accusations, but the feelings were far less intense than before. Moreover, I felt a strange sort of nostalgia wash over me. Somehow I'd forgotten how confrontational my old friend could be, though frankly I'm not sure how. I supposed I would need to be more careful of wearing my emotions around him.

"Liam…" I heard from beside me. It was Deborah's voice, strangely melodious, like the first time we'd met. When I turned to face her, she still carried that soft smile on her lips. But her eyes had changed, once filled with focus to get through her pain, now seemed to be peering into me, reading me.

"He's not wrong, you know." She continued. I could feel my own smile fading at her words. What did she mean by that? Did she consider me a fool as well?

"Not wrong about what?" I prodded, feeling my blood begin to heat again. That heat lasted only a moment, and faded when I felt her touch on my arm. Her smile never wavered, something about that made me feel safer. Certainly like I wasn't being judged.

"You're hurting, I've known that since our first night in the cave." She explained, clasping my arm ever so gently. It almost felt as if I was frozen as my mind raced back to that first night, so enveloped by the fire to the point I'd relived the attack. I'd lived with those memories for three years, I was so used to them by this point. My thoughts were interrupted again when Deborah spoke once more.

"You opened up to me that night, remember? I saw it in your eyes, Liam. It was like you were broken." Broken. Why did that word resonate so deeply with me?

"She's talking sense, Liam. I would listen to her if I were you." I heard Stone add. Deborah's expression immediately soured as she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Conqueror, just let me talk to him right now, alright?" She said, her tone immediately becoming more stern and assertive. I turned to Stone to see his reaction. Both of his hands were full with bowls of stew, and he recoiled a bit at Deborah's words. He shook his head and turned away, setting down one of the bowls and keeping the other for himself. I had to admit, I was somewhat grateful he had obliged. I heard Deborah exhale, and turned back to her. Her face had already softened, and when she opened her eyes, I once again felt that strange feeling of being read. I found it even stranger that I didn't seem to mind that feeling. It was enough that I hadn't even noticed her put her bowl down and take my hand.

"When I spoke with you, I saw a change. You had seemed so on guard before that, tense. But when we spoke, and I sang…" She paused for a moment and rubbed the top of my hand. "You seemed so at peace. Calmer." She continued. I opened my mouth to speak, but found no words to say. I knew that I shouldn't have told her, it wasn't her burden to bear. And yet that first night with Deborah was the first true night's rest I'd gotten, even with those visions. Was that because I'd been open? Confessed to what I'd done? But, I'd also suffered again, the emotions and betrayal came flooding back… I wasn't ready for that, I couldn't face it again.

"I… I understand what you're saying, but I'm not ready. It's too much, at least for now." I replied. I was ready for a grand rebuttal, something to claim I was ready now, and was just a coward. But it never came, instead, Deborah simply nodded and held my hand higher, keeping it level at my chest.

"Then think it over, for now. Just so that when you are ready, you can speak more openly, okay?" She seemed to plead with me, and yet she seemed fully in control of what she said. I felt a calmness as she spoke, something I couldn't describe that gave me a peace that felt so alien. Her words were genuine, and I felt them resonate within me. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and nodded.

Deborah gave my hand a light squeeze before she let me go, pulling away slowly as she reached for her bowl. Her gaze did not falter until she brought the bowl to her lips and blew some of the steam away. It was strange, how transfixed I felt. I still wasn't ready, but her words had stirred something in me. Perhaps I had been lying about my state, not out of any intentional malice, but, why then? I didn't know, or perhaps I did, but just couldn't see it. Either way, I hoped to find out soon. I wrestled my gaze away from Deborah and looked to Stone, who seemed similarly stunned. He eventually wrestled his own eyes away and chuckled as he looked towards me once again.

"That's some woman you found, Liam. Some woman indeed." He joked before extending the bowl to me.

"Oh shut up, Conqueror." Deborah replied as I took the bowl with both hands. I turned to my own pack as Stone laughed and pulled out a small paper packet. I undid the bit of twine sealing it, revealing a few pieces of hardtack.

"Not sure I should, Bard. You seemed to hypnotize my friend here, so the more I talk, the less…"

"Stone." I said, cutting him off. There was no malice in my voice, no defensiveness, just a simple urging. I turned to him and picked up the pieces of hardtack, spreading out each of them in my hand and extending them to him. Stone in turn looked from me to the bread.

"Let's just eat in silence tonight." I urged, allowing myself to smile softly. Stone smirked at me as he took a piece of hardtack, but did not dispute my request. An oddity, for him, but a welcome one. I turned to Deborah next, offering her a piece. She smiled at me and gingerly pulled a piece of hardtack, holding her bowl steady with her other hand. With both of them served, I set the remaining pieces back on the piece of paper before claiming one for myself. I placed one of the corners in the broth, allowing it to soak for a moment as Stone lifted his bowl in the air slightly.

"To future betterment, then." He decreed, raising the bowl further in a toast.

"To further betterment." Deborah chimed in. I turned to look at her again, seeing that she too had lifted her bowl skyward. Both were smiling, one like a moron, the other sweetly. I smiled too, realizing how much I had missed the company of others. Future betterment did seem a noble goal, if one I was hesitant to see where it led. Still, I gave my word that I would think things over, and I planned to honor that word. And so, I chuckled, raised my own bowl into the air…

…And toasted.