Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Harry Potter or any of these characters.
Summary: Draco and Hermione meet up with Colin Creevey to discuss their devious plan. Once again, this continues the story started in "Friendly Fire." I definitely suggest reading that first as it will make this nonsense easier to follow :)

"Tell us what you saw, Mary."

"Well Colin," she paused. "May I call you Colin?"

"Of course," he answered, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Please, go on Mary."

"Well, I was taking Mr. Toodles--that would be my dog--for our evening stroll in the park. Mr. Toodles loves the park he does! And he's a good pup."

Colin Creevey--the host of the hit muggle television show "Strange Encounters" squeezed her shoulder, gently urging her to continue.

"So we're walking along the path near the lake, when I let Mr. Toodles off his leash," she stopped again, as a shadow seemed to fall over her eyes. "Usually Mr. Toodles stays right by my side--he's a good pup." She looked around nervously at the studio audience, the lights and cameras and then back to Colin.

Again, he nodded his encouragement.

"As soon as I let Mr. Toodles go he ran off into the trees, toward the lake. I went to follow and found him on the edge of a clearing, some distance off the path. He was growling and shaking something fierce." Mary's voice halted again, as she seemed scared to relive the next moments of her story.

"What was Mr. Toodles frightened of, Mary?" Colin asked.

She took a deep breath and shuddered noticeably. "First I heard voices and then a 'swoosh' sound, but I didn't see nothing. Then I noticed Mr. Toodles' little head titled to the sky. So I turned my eyes up to the heavens and I see...I see..." The tremors overtook her for a moment and she put her head in her hands.

Colin once more squeezed her shoulder (he had not let go) and she looked up at him. "Tell us, Mary."

Her resolve seemed to strengthen with his words and with wide-eyes she proclaimed, "Demons! Red demons flying and cackling like hellfire, as sure as my name is Mary B. Maplemore!"

The studio audience gasped (some genuinely, most trying not to laugh as a production assistant lifted up a sign that said "Gasp in Shock").

Back in Colin's dressing room, where he and Hermione waited patiently for the muggle-born wizard to finish taping his show, Draco showed less restraint than the audience members. In fact he doubled over laughing. "D-demons? That dotty old muggle thinks she saw demons?"

Hermione looked at him sternly. "She's a muggle. What's she supposed to think seeing wizards flying around above her."

Draco just stared at her incredulously. "I don't care if she's a muggle, to actually mistake a bunch of young wizards playing Quidditch with a," and he gestured wildly with his hands and bugged out his eyes as he spoke, "demonic ritual is totally daft."

Hermione would have none of his mockery. "Well, maybe if those foolish boys hadn't decided to use a public muggle park, or perhaps if they hadn't performed a half-arsed obliviate charm on the poor woman, Miss Mary Maplemore, an 80-year-old muggle who has never seen anything without wings flying would have looked up and said," she mimicked the old lady's high-pitched voice now, "oh look Mr. Toodles, its a bunch of young wizards getting in a healthy match of Quidditch."

Draco just laughed harder. "Mr. Toodles, oh Merlin. What kind of name is that?"

"He's a poodle," Hermione answered defensively.

"That's Mr. Toodles the fucking poodle," he snarked, and then the remnants of Draco's composure shattered.

Hermione decided to ignore him and turned back to the monitor where the show was concluding with Colin's end monologue.

"And so, we can only guess at what the esteemed former schoolmarm and upstanding citizen Mary Maplemore saw that night as she walked Mr. Toodles. Red demons flying through the sky? Large birds? The police found no evidence, save for a few pieces of straw in the clearing. Nobody really knows what went on that night at Primrose Park." He paused for effect. "But I can promise you this, my dear audience. I continue to put together the pieces and I assure you I won't stop in my quest to inform and enlighten you about this and other mysteries. For now, keep the lights on my friends, because you never know when you'll find yourself having a...Strange Encounter." The "dum dum dum" of dramatic music filled the room as the screen went black.

Hermione just rolled her eyes. "I can't believe the Ministry allows this rubbish to air."

"Because it's bloody hilarious," Draco offered. "Besides, muggles think its all a put-on. I heard the wizarding networks are looking to pick it up."

"I think it's awful how we allow defenseless muggles to get humiliated when we're the ones who buggered up in the first place," Hermione said huffily.

Just then the door opened and Colin entered the room. He was still as tiny as during their Hogwarts days and wore a red beret perched on-top of his thinning, mousy brown hair. He went over to Draco and briskly shook his hand, "Good to see you, mate."

Draco just stared open-mouthed. He hadn't seen Colin Creevey in years and certainly never considered him a mate in any sense of the word.

Colin then walked over to Hermione and got on his tip-toes to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "And you too, luv." He gestured to the bar on the opposite side of the room. "Shall I mix us some cocktails whilst we discuss your little plans for my Yank cousins?"

"Sounds good to me," said Draco, and he moved over to the bar where he grabbed a stool.

Hermione gave him a disapproving look (which he didn't actually see) before following and taking the stool next to his as Colin went to the other side of the bar. "What'll it be? Oh, and I only have muggle liquor back here."

"Just water for me," said Hermione, glancing pointedly at Draco.

"How about a shot of whiskey?"

Colin smiled and poured them their drinks. He passed the water to Hermione and had whiskey along with Draco. "To muggles!" he said cheerfully.

Draco smirked, but toasted. Hermione just shook her head, angry that the muggle-born could use the same people who raised him so cruelly.

Colin either didn't notice or chose to ignore Hermione's unspoken annoyance toward him. "So then, I've spoken to Marty and he's game to play along with your little revenge."

"Marty?" Draco asked.

"Yes, Martin, he's my cousin. Lives outside of Vegas with his wife and five children. Lovely people," Colin explained.

Hermione seemed surprised, "He knows about you, about us?"

"Yes, his sister is a muggle-born witch, the only other one in the entire family besides Dennis and myself. She's actually your age, was going to attend Hogwarts, but my Uncle Paul had just gotten transferred to a job in New York. She went to the Wike Broom School of Witchcraft and Wizardry instead."

"Wike Broom?" Draco asked.

"Aye, it was originally named after the American wizard Abraham Peasegood, but Yank wizards are big on corporate sponsorship. Wike built the school a kick-arse Quidditch pitch so they changed the name a few years back."

"So then your cousin Marty isn't a Yank, he's English?" Hermione questioned.

"Not really," Colin sounded sad as he said it. "They moved there years ago, he was very young. While Maisy was at Wike the family lived in a place called New Jersey. The place sucked the Brit right out of the poor sod. And of course he married a big-haired Jersey bird."

"What in bloody hell does that mean?" Draco asked.

Colin snickered, "Oh, you'll find out. Tricia is extremely Jersey and extremely muggle." He continued, "But Marty is a good chap, despite his unfortunate upbringing. He's sort of fascinated with wizards the way Arthur Weasley gets his rocks off over muggles. I had to move the phone from my ear because he was shouting so loudly after I told him that he was going to play tour guide for a bunch of magic folk."

Hermione forgot all about being upset over Colin's muggle-abuse show. The glint was in her eye again. "That's brilliant."

"Have you worked out how you're going to get them to agree to this?" And then he looked skeptical for a moment. "And I wanted to ask, if you could only hear voices, how do you know for sure who was listening in that day?"

"Well we heard Weasley's voice, no mistaking that. And I definitely heard the Weaslette and Pansy as well. If they were there you know Bulstrode and Potter were right next to the little...witches. Besides, I'm sure it was Bulstrode who planted the bug on me in the first place, the nosy bitch," Draco said confidently.

Hermione agreed, "They were all at the party. I know Neville would never do such a thing, he'd be too scared we'd find out," she reasoned. "And that pretty much eliminates Luna as well."

"What about Crabbe and Goyle, weren't they there too?" Colin asked.

"They know better," said Draco, in a tone that implied his assessment would not be questioned.

"Okay that's excellent," said Colin, reassured that he wouldn't be helping them to get revenge on an innocent party. "But that still doesn't solve the problem of how you're going get them to Las Vegas and together with my family of their own free will."

"Free will can be a tenuous thing," said Hermione, the fire burning in her eyes. "It can be manipulated, with a little help from some friends."

Draco looked at her alarmed. "Please don't tell me you're planning on getting somebody else involved in our scheme? The more people that know the more chance they'll catch on before we have a chance to nail them."

"Don't worry, I know two people who are experts at this sort of thing and better yet, they can be bought," said Hermione, though there was a slight edge to her voice.

"Please, Merlin, no," Draco pleaded, certain of who his darling sugarplum was thinking of and not happy. "We don't want to pay their price or owe them anything! Besides, would they betray their own blood?"

"I'm talking about Fred and George, sweetie, the Twins, not exactly the paragons of virtue," she said. "We have no choice if we want this to work. And I know they'll help us."

"You seem pretty certain," said Colin suspiciously. "Do you have something on them?"

Hermione blushed and tried to cover it, but Draco noticed. "Oh no. No fucking way."

"What?"

"You didn't. Please tell me you didn't."

"I didn't what? What are you implying, Malfoy," but while the words were sharp, she didn't sound convincing.

"I know about your dear Ronald, but Fred and George?" he shook his head. "Bloody hell, Granger, for a smart witch your taste..."

She cut him off, "Be careful what you say, Malfoy, or you may end up insulting yourself."

Draco and Hermione were now focused on each other, but Colin continued to watch in amusement. "Where'd I put my digital recorder," he muttered.

Hermione snapped her attention back to him, "We'll be able to get them to Vegas. That's where the wedding is going to be. As for the rest," she glared at Draco, "I'll talk to Fred and George. There's nothing more to discuss." And she nodded toward Colin as she held Draco's eyes, "At least not here."

Draco looked at her warily, "Yes, not here." And he grabbed her hand firmly. "Later."

Colin literally giggled. "Mmm-hmm, this is going to be fun."

To be continued...