November

If a rose represents love, then why does it always die?

Was there no such thing as a happily ever after?

This was the month with the most anticipation hanging on to it; the month before we were to get married. Has some sort of sick, cruel fate come upon us? And why now? I didn't want to regret living. I preferred to laugh about us together than to cry over him. Why? Because laughing disguised the pain.

I knew nothing was going to prevent this to happen. I knew we were going to get married. Our mothers, after all, approved.

Little did we know about what our fathers thought. When love comes along, tears never cease to follow. Draco and I had gotten permission to leave school for three days to settle things with our parents. It was the last day.

Although my father and Draco's father had married our mothers at the age of 17; we were banned to be wed.

Lucius was far too angry with Draco for his recent procrastination with the Dark Lords' deeds; it was presented to him as dishonor. Perhaps, in fact, we've been spending more time together than I thought we were. Draco begged and pleaded, but Lucius refused to let it happen. After all, how was Draco supposed to keep up with our relationship, serve the Dark Lord, and do a sucessful job in school all at the same time?

My father, on the other hand, trusted the Malfoys. But, to my surprise - he didn't have faith in Draco. Of course he knew Lucius was a wealthy, prosperous man, but he believed that Draco just wasn't good enough for me. Honestly, I knew he was just being unwise - he ran out of reasons and left Lucius to take care of everything. This was melancholy playing its twisted bitter moves on me. Maybe he thought my life was going through some obscene rush. This Draco Malfoy is clearly not good enough for my Pansy, he said. Lucius was not offended.

Draco and I were in his room at Malfoy Mansion. I sat on his black bed, taking in the familiar smell of vanilla, crying on his shoulder. He pulled me into a big embrace. It was remarkable how a single touch could ease me.

What made my heart grow heavy was that Draco, indeed, was crying too. I could feel his tears descend from my hair to my neck; to my arms.

"Forgive me, Pansy. This is all my fault," his voice was loud and clear although his weeping interrupted it every now and then. "Please stop crying. It only makes me more cheerless."

I sobbed harder. "I'm so sorry...if only I've shown my father your loyalty earlier, this wouldn't happen. No. No. It's not your fault Draco, I'm the one to blame-"

"Stop crying, dear. It shatters my soul." He began the accustomed manner of running his fingers through my hair slowly.

"I can't. Draco, I can't," my skin grew cold. "Why did this have to happen to us?"

He sighed instead of shrugging, and gave me a completely unexpected response.

"Lean closer."

I obeyed. My head was against his chest. His chin rested on my head. The feeling itself soothed me greatly.

His heartbeat was rhythmic yet monotonous. The slight vibration it sent hushed me completely and I listened to every word he said.

"We'll get married in December. I promise."

"But how will that happen? Our mothers have no power over our-"

"I promised you. And I intend not to break it.

Chuckling in means of curiosity, I looked at him directly in the eye. "Can you please tell me what you plan to do?"
Draco nodded and gave me that delightful smile. He slanted towards me slightly and whispered in my ear.

"Who cares what parents think? We're old enough to make our own decisions. Besides, since we're getting married at the school, our parents won't be there, right? They're too busy. Then, after that, we can live life by ourselves. You and me, Pans. Together we can do this, love."

He did have a point. Although I realize that this was somewhat disrespectful to my parents' ideas, how could I deny Draco? I wanted to get married, right? Right.

Later on that evening, Narcissa invited me to spend the night at their place. She was a strong, stalwart supporter of Draco and I getting married (along with my mother) so she tried to keep us together as many ways possible. My father and Lucius had opposed to this, of course, but Narcissa and my mother had quarrelled with them quite enough.

I asked if I could sleep in the guest room. No, she said. It was filled with old furniture and dust; she didn't want me sleeping there.

"Is there a spare room?"

Narcissa bit her lip, slightly smearing her blood red lipstick. "I'm afraid not, child. I don't think there is no other choice but..."

I didn't want to seem rude. "But what?"

"To sleep in Draco's room."

Nervousness had arrived into my system and I felt a lump in my throat. Once Narcissa had went downstairs to return to the kitchen, I went into the guest bathroom and changed into my lavender pajamas. I combed my hair until I was satisfied, brushed my teeth, and rinsed my face.

When I opened his door, I let only but my shadow creep in. Hoping the creaking of the door wouldn't awaken him, I remained completely silent. After a couple of moments, I was convinced that I could enter. I could see a small hill on his bed, meaning he was sound asleep under his blankets.

I planned to sleep on the floor, next to his bed, tucked in my sleeping bag.

The only thing was - I didn't have it. My sleeping bag. I must have left it at home...but panicking wasn't the answer. Squinting my eyes, I tried to scan his room in the darkness. A couch caught my eye.

Still completely soundless, I laid down on the couch, my head on a pillow. Why was I not comfortable? Actually, I was - it was just the fact that Draco was in the same room petrified me. Draco wasn't the kind of boy that just wanted to get in your pants. I knew that. I knew he loved me, and I knew that I loved him, but I had to make my own moves and think for myself.

Tossing and turning multiple times, I sighed and pouted. Clearly with no other choice, I walked over to the edge of his bed, looking down at Draco.

And how innocent and harmless he looked. He laid on his side, facing my direction, embracing a pillow. I found the sight quite pleasurable and I laughed quietly. How comely could one person possibly be?

I sat on the edge of his bed and started to swing my feet. I calmed myself down and I lost myself to the aroma of vanilla and grew tired.

Where else would I sleep? Okay, Pansy, stop being ridiculous. It's just for a night. Tomorrow you'll be back in Hogwarts, safe and sound. There was enough room for me to scoot in, so I placed myself there. I was trembling.

I couldn't help but let sleep take over. My eyelids grew heavy and I tried to close my eyes. But -

Two arms encircled my waist from behind, which completely woke me up. My body stiffened and I turned my head around.

The pillow had escaped Draco's grip and brought me into it. My head returned to its original place and I stayed there, breathing heavily but quietly. Yes, I was scared and my heart ran with apprehension.

But wait. I discovered my hand reaching down to where my waist was and wrapping them around his. The smile couldn't hold back any longer and it appeared on my face. I could feel one forming on Draco, too.

A soft and beautiful voice. He mumbles like a graceful lullaby.

"Goodnight, Pans."

Sleep found me again and cast a temporary spell on me. I yawned.

"Goodnight, Draco."

My eyes were finally shut. I heard the leaves of Fall swaying in the wind outside.

So maybe there was a happily ever after waiting for me out there - thanks to Draco. He took me to when a promise really was a promise; when a love song was a love song.

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