The Oath

I was still reeling from my discussion with the Master as I set up a chessboard in my room. I hadn't felt well enough to set up the game while I was recovering, and I had been too eager to jump back into playing my lute when I had felt better. After that talk though, I felt a strange weight in me that just wouldn't go away. I knew exactly what had caused it, thinking about what happened to mom and dad. I also knew it would be a while before I could shake that off. So to keep myself occupied, I resolved to set up the board, then try to find someone to play against.

A soft fire burned in the fireplace at my bedside, illuminating the stone floored, but comfortably spacious chamber. Sunlight poured liberally into the room from the window above a small table, almost as if illuminating the chessboard. The set appeared well made, but it was hardly the work of a master. The board itself consisted of several dark brown and light tan squares, as to be expected. The pieces were simplistic, and lacked any fine detail. That said, they were comfortable enough to grab, and at the very least, it was easy to tell which piece was which. I suppose it was wrong to be so critical, my own chessboard back home had been little more than a sheet of paper and poorly constructed chunks of wood that had barely any shape at all. Enough of that thought, I was thinking. I was trying to get away from thoughts of home, not burrow into them.

I had just finished setting up the last king when I heard a soft knock at my door. It was probably that doctor again, either him or some guard trying to sneak a private show. I wasn't in the mood to deal with either, let alone be poked and prodded for one reason or another.

"Unless you're here to play chess, I'm not interested in company. Go away!" I yelled. Rude, possibly even dangerous, considering the castle wasn't mine, or even a friend's. But I knew a slight that small wouldn't be enough to set off anyone, unless their ego was as brittle as dry twig. At least I thought so before I heard the door begin creaking open. Me and my big mouth… I sat up straight and folded my arms over my chest as I glanced over at the door. The wooden frame slowly gave way and revealed the knocker, who was none other than Liam, clad in full armor, furs draped over his shoulders.

"I had come to make sure you were alright, but I am aware of how to play, if you'll have me." He said. I eased up immediately and smiled at him, more than happy to see a friendly face, so to speak. I motioned him over with a gentle tilt of my head, to which he nodded and closed the door behind him.

"Lord of the castle decided he was done with you?" I asked as he began slipping off his furs and walking towards the table.

"For the time being, he has given me respite, yes." He confirmed, placing his furs on the back of the chair opposite of mine. I moved myself closer to the table as he took a seat, observing the board in front of him. I knew I was safe with Liam here, so I let myself relax and sighed contentedly as I observed the Warden closely. He hadn't removed his helmet, which struck me as odd. Usually when he was trying to relax, he took the thing off, so what was the deal here?

"Are you going to take your helmet off?" I asked, hoping to provoke him into removing it. Rather than do so, he simply shook his head and continued to study the board.

"I suspect Master Jotham may change his mind, I'd rather be prepared if he does." I'll admit I was disappointed by that, but I was pretty sure this was as good as things were going to get, at least for the time being. I watched him for a bit before he eventually seemed comfortable with the board. To no one's surprise, he extended a hand towards me, inviting me to make the first move. Even competitively, the man was as courteous as ever. One pawn forward, and our game had begun.

"He did ask me to speak with you." Liam said, moving one of his own pawns a few spaces away from my starting move. Of course there was a catch, there always had to be. I hid my frustration the best I could as I made my next move, placing a pawn just short of my first.

"Oh? Did he say what about?" I asked, trying to stay focused on both the game and him. No easy feat, I'll tell you.

"He said you were dismissive of his questions, and outright refused to answer his last." He explained, moving another piece. So the Master didn't like being dismissed or talked down to, how surprising. I hadn't meant to condescend him, much less ignore anything he asked, but I'd rarely found a knight I could legitimately respect, and I tended not to take things as seriously when I didn't respect people. I shrugged and made my next move.

"I suppose I could have been. I didn't mean to insult him, if that's what he thought." Liam glared at me for a bit before making a move and leaning back. He must not have been paying much attention to it, because he ignored, or rather missed, a far better play.

"Deborah, this isn't something to be cast aside. We were very lucky the Midnight Howls proved reasonable, but we can't push that luck. We must show them courtesy." He chided. I feigned an absentminded nod, when in truth I knew he was right. One wrong move would have us back on the road, something I was not ready for. Still, I couldn't help but feel justified in my responses. I'd answered his questions, I hadn't insulted him, and I certainly hadn't acted like I was too important for him. The fact that I didn't answer exactly how he wanted shouldn't have mattered.

"I showed him courtesy, I was respectful in answering his questions, and I answered them honestly. What more does he want? It's not like I'm a lady myself." I retorted, taking my turn. It was a weak defense, I'll be the first to admit that. Only making it more obvious was the visible frustration on Liam as he nearly slammed down his next piece.

"That is no excuse for reckless speech. I don't expect you to conduct yourself as a knight or lord, but you need to think before you speak. Saying the wrong thing could very well get you killed." He said. I darn near laughed at that. I couldn't help but remember dad now, saying the exact same thing to me so many years ago. The hypocrite…I leaned back after making another move and shook my head, wincing a bit at the sudden flare of pain on my side.

"Believe me Liam, I know perfectly well the effects of a loose tongue." I replied. I saw him make his move, but found myself unable to focus on it. I could only wonder what kind of face he was making under that helmet. Was he angry? Annoyed? Curious? Maybe he was some mix of all of them. I didn't know, all I could see now was his growing frustration with me. God bless body language, right?

"Then why wouldn't you be more careful? Surely you wouldn't want that for yourself, why would you dismiss him like that?" I asked. What kind of question was that? Why did some guy who fancied himself better than everyone else get to know my business? I didn't know him, I didn't owe him my past.

"Because it's not his business to know!" I practically shouted. The ferocity in my voice honestly caught me off guard. I'd meant to say that in a normal tone, but the minute I tried, something just snapped. I think I surprised Liam too, because he leaned back and stared at me for a moment. His posture seemed more easy now, but far from relaxed, if that makes any sense. Steady, if I had to describe it.

"What do you mean by that?" Liam asked. I sighed before making another move.

"He asked me why I was traveling by myself so young. I told him I had my reasons." I explained. I looked down at the board, the mix of pieces honestly looked like a blur to me right now. I'm not sure how much uncomfortable silence passed between us before Liam spoke again.

"Why didn't you want to say? Was it too painful, embarrassing? A crime?" That last one hit me like a sack of potatoes. Did he really believe I was a criminal? No, no that didn't make sense. He wouldn't make that kind of assumption. Actions spoke loud for Liam, I had realized that. None of my actions painted me as a criminal, or at least I hoped so. I trusted him not to make that assumption.

"Painful." I whispered. It took me a moment to even realize I'd said it. Liam made a quick move before leaning forward and reaching under his helmet. I saw the straps loosen before he began to lift. With one motion, the helmet was gone, and those big brown eyes were staring right into me. I'm not sure why he changed his mind about it, but I was glad he took his helmet off. With a pull, he lowered the gambeson hood as well.

"Can I offer you an accord?" He asked. Him, making me an offer? That was new, my first thought was that he was kidding. I thought better of that quickly though, Liam wasn't the kind of man to joke about that sort of thing. I suppose there wasn't any harm in hearing him out. So I nodded. Liam clenched his fist hard and inhaled deeply, he almost seemed as uncomfortable as I was.

"You have placed your life in my hands, and I have found a new purpose through your help. As I see it, we have saved each other." He began, pausing for a moment. Well, he wasn't wrong so far. After a minute or so of finding his courage, he spoke again.

"You have implored me to speak more openly, to face the demons of my past. I see now that you need that as well. I will accept you as confidant, if you will accept me as yours. I swear on my oaths as Warden, I will keep your word, so long as you will keep mine." I wasn't sure what to think at first. I was still hesitant to even think about what happened back home, let alone pour my heart out over it. And yet, the idea of Liam knowing didn't seem so bad to me. Maybe because we had trusted each other so much in such a short time? Besides, I doubt I'd ever get him to be open with me if I refused now.

"I… will keep your word. Not a soul hears about what I tell you, okay?" I said. Liam looked away for a moment, then stared me straight in the eye and nodded. Guess there was no going back now. I took another glance at the chess board, somewhat hoping that the game would distract us from talking about this anymore. No such luck, unfortunately. I inhaled deeply and looked back to Liam, gentle eyes peered into mine, and I felt vulnerable for the first time in a good long while. I wasn't sure whether I liked that or not.

"When I was sixteen, I wrote my first song. It was nothing special, just some tune about one of the wandering warlords. I was still learning under my dad at the time, so he was the one to sing it." I admitted. Almost immediately I could see images of that day happening again.

Dad was hopping between several jutting stones and spinning all the while, meanwhile I was just strumming away on his lute. I didn't care though, it was just so amazing to see him performing my song. MY song, and the people were enjoying it. Every so often he'd turn to shoot me a smile and a wink, laughing as he'd spin and jump. I remember feeling so special…

"You were close with your father, then?" Liam asked. I smiled at that, I was more than close with him.

"He was my best friend. I had plenty of other girls my age to hang out with, but nothing was ever as much fun as playing that lute while daddy sang, and jumped, and spun." Part of me was still fighting to not say anything more, just leave it there. He was probably smart enough to figure out what happened next, or at least something close enough to the truth. I shouldn't need to say anything else, right?

"He sounds like he was a great man. What happened?" Liam's words snapped me out of my thoughts. At first I wondered why he assumed something had happened to my father. For all he knew, he was alive and well. Then again, me saying my reasons for leaving were "painful" and not wanting to say anything were probably pretty good clues. Sometimes I really hated my emotions.

"The warlord I wrote about found out about the song. Let's just say he wasn't flattered by what I had written. When he found out where we lived, he showed up to our house with more armed men than I had ever seen…" I explained.

I remember watching from the windows as daddy talked with the man. At the time, I had no idea what they were saying, I was just so scared. I didn't want to die, and I was so scared that it was right there. Dad seemed so calm, I even remember him pointing at the warlord, as if he was scolding him. The warlord didn't like that one bit. I could still hear the startled cry my dad gave when the men grabbed hold of him, and forced him forward.

"The warlord killed him?" Liam asked. It took me a second to fully realize what he had just asked me. I won't say it was like I was reliving it, I knew where I was, and I was aware I wasn't back there. But it was uncanny how similar I felt recalling it as I did when it actually happened. Have you ever looked at something that made you throw up once, then immediately felt sick again? It was a lot like that, if that makes any sense. I shook my head and exhaled.

"Not exactly, no. Mom was home that day, and she begged the warlord to show him mercy. The warlord decided that was a good idea, in the worst way possible…"

One swing of the axe was all it took. One swing, and daddy's hands came flying off. I swore I could still see them twitching as dad screamed and stumbled back. They were bleeding so much, I remember rushing outside and hugging him so tight. The men were holding back my mother, she was crying and snotting all over the place. I remember my daddy screaming and bleeding, and I remember it getting all over me. The men were laughing, they were LAUGHING at us…

"The neighbors didn't do a thing to help us. I know I shouldn't have expected them to, but I always hated them for that. We needed someone, anyone. And they just left us in the dirt." I said, my fist clenching tight as I recalled. Even after daddy got sick, no one helped us. Even when he was dying and couldn't breathe…

I remember holding his little stump as he heaved. His skin was cold and sweaty, he was mumbling something under his breath, but it just sounded like nonsense. I just wanted him to wake up, I wanted him to hear me. Why wouldn't he wake up… mom and I needed him, he needed to wake up…

"He um, he caught something, after he lost his hands. We never found out what it was, he just suffered for what felt like weeks…" I stumbled a bit and felt my tongue catch in my throat. I didn't want to say the next part. I mean, I really didn't want to. It was almost like admitting to defeat, like I killed him. At least…

"And he died. It was just you and your mother, then." Liam said. I scoffed at that one. If that were true, maybe I'd still be at home.

"No. It was just me. Mom was gone after that. She started blaming me for everything, and said it was my fault that daddy died. I know she was just grieving, but I hated her for that. I still do. I was hurting, and she wanted to blame me? I needed a mom, not a martyr. I didn't deal with that for long though. I… found her, a week later."

I know I should have felt something, seeing mommy sway from the roof like that. Her eyes had rolled back into her head, her mouth dropped a bit as she gently swayed back and forth. Something was pooling below her, I never found out what. I should have felt something, I know I should have. But I just curled up away from her and cried. She really hated me that much…

"A friend of mine found me that way, and her family was nice enough to take me in. I lived with them for about a year after that, but I just couldn't stay there. It was too much. So I took daddy's lute, the clothes on my back, some food, and never looked back. That was six years ago." I finished. I didn't feel like a weight had been lifted off my chest, despite what they say. If anything, it felt like it was heavier. I won't say it was worse, nothing could beat that first day, but it was pretty close. Liam was silent for a time, his face a mix of shock, disgust, and sorrow as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Eventually, he blinked and shook his head.

"That is… evil. Pure, unbridled evil. I am so sorry, Deborah. No one should have had to go through that." He finally said, his voice shaking a bit as he did. I couldn't tell if it was rage or guilt I heard in his voice, I can only assume it was rage. Why should he feel guilty about what happened to me? It wasn't Blackstone. They were brutes, but at least they didn't do that. I shook my head and wiped away a stray tear.

"It's the way things work, Liam. Piss off a warlord, and you suffer. That, or the ones you care about suffer." I said. Liam shook his head and looked towards the fire. I could tell something was on his mind.

"Ever since I've left the Blackstone legion, I've only heard more and more tales of knights abusing their power. We're supposed to be protectors, servants to the people of Ashfeld. Not… this." He muttered. It was a nice thought, truly. A pipe dream, but a nice thought. I wiped my eyes and sniffed, trying my best to stay somewhat presentable. I doubt I was succeeding.

"It's been this way for a long time, Warden. Ever since the Iron Legion lost its foothold, it's been nothing but one big power struggle. No one cares about the little people anymore." I said, shrugging my shoulders. Maybe that was a bit harsh, but I honestly didn't care at this point. All Blackstone cared about was the strong, and if they got what they wanted. It's why that warlord never saw justice. Why no one bothered to look for the orphaned girl who ran away.

"I care. Stone cares. The knights here, care. The knights of old, with the oaths I still follow, care." Liam said. He looked me dead in the eye when he spoke next; "I have faced shame, and regret, and despair for my part in this, however small. No more. No. More." I wiped away another tear, not sure where he was going with this.

"I will rebuild the Iron Legion. You will have justice for what happened to you. The people of Ashfeld will have someone who fights for them. Every last one. I swear it." He declared, fire and steel in his words. I'm not sure what it was about his promise, I'd heard plenty of people promise justice before, to fight for the little guys. Not one of them ever kept their word. But there was something about him that made me believe it. I know he talked about rebuilding the Iron Legion in Herongale, but it was just that, talk. I opened my mouth to speak, but stopped when he stood up.

"And I swear, you will not shoulder your burden alone. As your confidant, I will always be willing to help you bear your worries, whenever you need." That pretty much sealed it. I could still feel that weight on my chest, but it did feel lighter when he said that. Call me childish, but it did seem to help, hearing someone promise that. I sniffed again and smiled, wiping my eyes as a strange feeling of peace washed over me.

"Thank you, Liam, truly." I said, taking a breath before continuing; "And, I promise to do the same, as your confidant. Guess you're stuck with me for the long haul, Warden." I joked. I could just see him stifle a chuckle, before he nodded and sat back down. I leaned in a bit closer and looked back at the chess board, before I realized one last problem.

"Do you remember who's turn it was?" I asked. Liam squinted his eyes and observed the pieces for a bit before crossing his arms. After a minute, he shook his head.

"No, I don't think I do." He admitted. I finally let myself laugh.

Guess we had to start over.