Disclaimer: Life would so totally rock if I owned HP, but unfortunately I don't.

A/N: I'm done with my other story so I can spend my whole time devoted to this.

"Two Can Play at this Game"

"You…you…you… prat!" Lily cried out in rage. Her index finger was pointed at a rather pleased James. "My nose!"

"Looks perfectly fine to me," James commented.

"My nose grew!" she screamed, stomping her feet as if she was a child throwing a tantrum. James laughed. Lily glared at him.

"What did you do?" she asked viciously.

James threw his hands up in mock horror. "How can you accuse me of such a crime?"

"Stop it, Potter, what did you do?"

"The nose looks good on you," James chuckled, smirking.

Lily threw her hands up and over her nose in embarrassment. She glared at him.

"My nose looks like Pinocchio's!" she exclaimed. "I only said you were a git, and it grew!" cried Lily, her hands still over her nose.

"Pinocchio, I love that movie," sighed James happily.

Lily marched over closer toward James. She grabbed his shirt and yanked him up from the couch.

"Whoa, calm down Red," James cried, "let go." He pried her hands off of his shirts and slowly backed away.

"Tell me what you did, you insensitive jerk!"

"Hostile, aren't we, Red?" James said brushing off Lily's command as he dusted off his shirt.

"Shut up and tell me what you did to my nose!"

"Tell me I'm a handsome devil," James said smirking, "and I'll tell you."

"Eww," Lily cried out in utter disgust. "You will never be a handsome devil. You're the ugliest thing I've ever met!"

"I'm sorry you think that," James smirked.

Lily arched one of her eyebrows. James pointed at her nose, grinning. She looked down and gasped.

"My nose!" Lily cried she was close to tears. Her nose was growing and growing. It wasn't stopping!

"Tell it to stop, Potter," she pleaded.

"I can't," James said easily.

"What do you mean you can't? You caused this in the first place. Tell my nose to stop growing!"

"Red, I'm sorry to tell you that there is only one way for it to stop growing."

"What?" she asked helplessly as she tried to push her still growing nose back to its original size.

"You won't do it," James told her as he turned away to leave.

"I will!" Lily cried out.

"You'll have to compliment me," James said almost laughing, "tell me I'm a sexy devil." Lily gasped and turned red with what could be a mix of embarrassment and frustration.

"I will not!" she screeched out indignantly.

"Then sorry I can't help you," James said.

"But my nose!"

"Will continue to grow," James said. "I'll see you later, Pinocchio." James turned around and walked away. When he reached the portrait, Lily called for him.

"I'll do it."

James turned around and smirked. "Let's hear it then."

Lily flushed pink and mutter something under her breathe.

"What? I couldn't hear what you said."

Once again Lily mumbled something.

James walked closer.

"Sorry, Red, but you got to speak up. No one is going to hear you praising me." Lily looked up into his eyes with disgust and dislike.

"You're despicable!"

"Shouldn't have said that," James said as he shook his head at her. He glanced down at her nose as it grew some more.

"Ugh!"

"So what did you want to say to me, Red?"

Lily pressed her lips into a thin line. She was done with his games. Her patience was running thin. "I wanted to say you were an ug…"

"Watch what you said," James warned her.

Lily closed her eyes. She wasn't ready to see James Potter's satisfied faced.

"You, James Potter, are an unbelievably sexy being."

Lily waited with her eyes closed shut. Then slowly James' laughter grew louder and louder.

"I'm glad you think that, Red," he laughed, "but you don't have a chance."

Lily's eyes snapped open. Her face turned purple with anger. She wanted to slap him hard across the face.

"Now don't say anything mean," James said. "You're nose had just begun to shrink," he pointed out.

Lily looked down hoping to see her nose slowly shrink back to its original size, and it was. Lily held her vile thoughts of James to herself. Lily frowned as she stared at the pleased face of James.

Without a single word, James left with his lips curved in a smirk. Lily waited until he left before she dropped onto the couch and buried her head in her hands.

An unbelievably sexy being? Of all things why, why did I have to say that? He's going to rub it in face, now. He's going to think I have the hots for him.

…

James woke up the next day to his alarm. He groggily got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. His eyes were still half closed as he splashed water onto his face and got ready for the day. James let out a rather loud and long yawn. He stretched his cramped limbs and got dressed into his Hogwart's uniform.

"Prongs, open up," Sirius called out, knocking on James' door.

"Wait up!" James answered as he fixed his tie.

"I can wait, but my stomach can't," Sirius replied, "I'm hungry, mate."

He heard Remus and Peter laugh, and he also chuckled to himself.

Sirius, always thinking of his stomach.

He went to open his bedroom door for his friend. Sirius bounded into the room with a wide smile, followed by the other two. They all turned to look at James and laughed.

"What's so funny?" James asked confused.

"Classic," Sirius laughed as he patted James on the back, "where did you get them?"

"Get what?"

"Those ears," Remus explained.

"Huh?"

Sirius shook his head with amusement. "Let me try them on." Sirius grabbed James' right ear and yanked at it.

"OUCH!" James screamed in agony. "Let go, Padfoot!"

"Huh?" Sirius asked confused as he looked back at Remus and Peter, who looked just as confused. "Why won't they come off?"

"Why are you pulling at my ear?" James asked angrily as he rubbed his ear.

"I thought they weren't real," Sirius defended himself.

"What do you mean not real?"

"They're huge!" Sirius exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" James asked confused.

"Go look in the mirror," Remus commanded.

James ran into the bathroom and looked at his reflection. A few seconds later, something fell onto the floor.

"What the hell!" James was heard screaming. "What the bloody hell happen to my ears?"

The other three Marauders followed James into the bathroom and saw their friend tracing his rather overgrown ears with his finger. James looked at them with a face of utter disbelief.

"Padfoot," he started, "my ears are.."

"Huge, I know," Sirius finished off for him.

"I can't possibly go out like this," James cried.

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment. "You could always pretend they were from Zonko's Joke Shop."

James looked at his friend and rubbed his finger across his chin pondering this idea. "I suppose."

"You could put up the act until we find out how to reduce your elephant ears," Sirius pointed out.

"Good thinking," James said.

…

Giggles were heard across the Great Hall. James was trying hard to put up an act that his ears were actually a joke. As he tried to eat his breakfast, his ears kept flapping down across his face, getting in his way.

"Damn it!" he cried as he blew at his ears, tired of having to move them. "These stupid elephant ears are getting into my food!"

Sirius and Peter laughed at his frustrated face. James slumped down in his seat and sighed, exasperated.

"I give up!"

"Aren't you hungry, though?" Sirius asked.

"No." James' stomach began to whine. He clamped his hands over it and whined.

"Okay, I admit it I'm hungry!" he cried helplessly. "These stupid ears are going to make me die from starvation!" No one seemed to want to listen. James picked up his fork and poked at his food. He decided to try one last time.

"Having difficulties?" a soft, pleased, female voice whispered in his ear, sending shiver down his spine. James looked up and stared into Lily eyes. Her friends were standing behind her smiling a knowing smile.

"No," he retorted.

Lily let out a laugh. "Sure," she said with the biggest hint of doubt in her voice.

James glared at her. "Is this your doing?"

Lily shook her head, grinning. "Why would I do such a thing?" James glowered at her.

"You know very well why," he told her, "revenge." Lily threw her heads back and gave an appreciative laugh.

"Whatever you say, Dumbo." With that she turned and left with her friends down the Gryffindor table. James watched her leave and clenched his fist tightly.

…

"Good morning, class," Professor McGonagall greeted the students as she entered her classroom.

"Good morning, Professor," the students answered back in unison.

"Today, we will be changing the plant in front of you into an animal," she explained. "On the board, here, I have written down some information on the spell that you need to know. Please copy it down."

The classroom was filled with sounds of student's scratching quills and paper rustling.

"I would take careful notes, now, these things will be on your N.E.W.T.S.," McGonagall told them.

From her desk, McGonagall scanned the classroom with her watchful eyes and paused at James.

"Mr. Potter, would you come here?"

James looked up and bounded towards McGonagall.

"Yes, Professor?"

"What are those things hanging from your head?" she asked.

"Ears, Professor," James answered.

"Can you take them off?"

"No," James replied. McGonagall looked at James sternly. James groaned in despair.

"Professor, it's not because I don't want to, but I can't," he tried to explain.

McGonagall furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean, Mr. Potter? Explain yourself."

"Professor, my ears just grew over night!" James tugged at his overgrown ears to prove his point. "They won't come off. They're real!" Lily who heard him giggled silently.

"Now, Mr. Potter, this isn't a joke."

"Professor, I'm serious!" he exclaimed. The rest of the class looked up curiously.

"No, I'm Sirius," Sirius chuckled.

"Mr. Black, will you…" McGonagall said sternly. Sirius' grin was wiped off his face.

"Sorry."

"Go back to work," McGonagall said to the class. She then got out from behind her desk and examined James' ear.

"Ah, a very advance spell," she muttered to herself, "must have taken a real talented witch/wizard."

"Can you fix it, Professor?" James asked anxiously.

McGonagall nodded. She held her wand and muttered a spell. James looked at her, and she nodded telling him that his ears were back to normal. James reached and placed his hands over his ears. He sighed in relief when he noticed that his hands covered his ears completely.

"Thank you," he thanked McGonagall.

She nodded at his acknowledgment. "Go back to your seat, Mr. Potter, and will you try to keep your ears the same size."

James smiled, "Don't worry, Professor."

James quickly walk backed to his seat. He sat down and looked for that red-head that caused him so much distress.

Lily looked up from copying her notes and saw James smirking at her. Lily looked at him and imagined him with those huge ears attached to his head and giggled. James looked at her strangely, confused. Lily stopped her giggling when she realized James was giving her a strange look. Lily pulled at her ears and held her breathe making her cheeks swell.

James glared at her. She was making fun of him. Lily burst out laughing. Students around her turned to see what the commotion was.

"Ms. Evans, will you quiet down," Professor McGonagall said strictly.

Lily looked up. "Sorry, Professor."

McGonagall nodded. She got up and paced the front of the classroom.

"Now let's repeat the spell together…"

A/N: How was it? I really enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please leave a review. Constructive criticism, advice, praise, and encouragement are all welcomed!