Chapter 8: A Boring And Unusual Dream

I woke up sweaty, scared and somehow more alive than ever. My heart almost pounded out of my chest, my bedsheets were tangled all around me and my hair was a mess since I tossed and turned all night.

Still in bed, I grabbed my phone to check the time, while I listened carefully to hear if my parents were still sleeping. It was 5 AM, and I knew there was no way I could sleep again after that horrible dream.

No, it wasn't a dream. It was a memory, I was sure of it.

I unwrapped myself from my bedsheets and got up, fighting against the sudden dizziness. I tiptoed to my bookcase and reached for my secret novel, the one that had the old photographs hidden inside of it. I made sure I hid them in a stupid book for teenage girls I enjoyed reading a few years back, so Renee wouldn't want to borrow it sooner or later.

I opened the book, and much to my surprise, I couldn't find any pictures. That wasn't right. I thoroughly flipped through the pages again, afraid I missed them the first time since I was simply too impatient to look carefully.

But even the second time, I couldn't find them. While I knew with absolute certainty that they were in there. I shook my head. I must still be sleepy so I pinched myself hard to make sure I was absolutely, one hundred percent awake. Opening the book a third time and getting more and more upset with each empty page I found, I groaned.

I opened the book next to it and flipped through it. My thoughts filled with excuses I desperately tried to come up with. That I must've hid them in another book. That I forgot that as I daydreamed about the Cullens so much. That I didn't sleep that well and therefore forgot it.

But I couldn't let my mind wander to the most obvious reason. That my parents found them and took them away from me.

Angry tears fell down my cheeks. I dropped the book to the ground. And the other one. And the one next to it. My room started to look more and more like a library that survived an earthquake instead of a bedroom, but I couldn't care less.

I grew desperate, trying to come up with more reasons for all of this. That I moved around so much, so I wasn't always careful where I put my stuff. That I had so many books, the pictures must be here somewhere. That I always closed the door behind me, so there was no way someone else could take them.

It didn't matter how hard I tried, I always came back to the same conclusion: my parents found them and took them.

I got up, ready to take a shower and ready to prepare myself for battle. My room was a mess.

I couldn't even bother to tidy up.

As the hot water warmed my tense shoulders and I couldn't even tell if I was still crying or not, I finally let my mind wander.

I knew my parents had to be older than they were supposed to be. I was aware of that, the second I found those old photos. But it never occured to me that I could also be… old? Older? And how old would I be? That memory was about 20 years old, so that meant I had to be at least 37, instead of 17.

I freaked out. Fuck, that's old.

But it made absolutely no sense. That wasn't even possible and such things only happened in books. Stories in books weren't real and such fairytales didn't exist either.

And how come I couldn't remember anything?

The same headache I had during lunch, came back in full force. I gasped for breath and stood still in the shower, hoping it would go away. The warm water definitely helped.

I got out, determined to get the answers I needed. I wore a colourful polkadot dress as I was not afraid to hide myself anymore. No more hiding behind a curtain of my own hair, no more hiding in black and loose clothes, no more hiding from other students, afraid they saw how weird I actually was. No, I wanted my answers.

And damn it, being nice and ignorable all the time hadn't done shit to help me.

As I entered the kitchen, Renee's eyebrows raised when she saw me.

"Now that's a change. I haven't seen that dress in so long."

"New town, new me, I guess."

I turned my back to her, so she couldn't see my face. I reached out to grab a plate and started preparing my breakfast.

"Where's dad?" I asked casually.

"He's already at work. He had to take an early shift, you know how it goes."

Yes, that would be good. Considering my mother talked to my father in the night, I figured she would be more perceptive to give me at least some answers. Or I hoped she would.

"Did you maybe enter my room? I seem to have lost something," I still had my back turned to her, so she couldn't see me blush. But damn it, I also couldn't see her face.

She was quiet. Too quiet.

"No sweety, what's wrong?" She asked, and to a friend, it could come of as a real, concerned question.

But not to me. I knew my mother better than anyone, and I heard how alarmed she sounded. And even if I didn't, the pit in my stomach told me something was off.

I frowned and grabbed the kitchen counter to steady myself. "I lost something that was very dear to me."

"I could help you search for it. Now or after school, it's your call." Her sudden enthusiasm differred way too much from her earlier… fear.

All hope I still had that I imagined everything, was gone. Realisation hit me. And it hit me hard. Like a bitch.

"I've lost a few photographs," I whispered, and I still hoped she would aknowledge my doubts, or tell me what was wrong herself. I was happy with anything. Literally anything at all. As long as she at least gave me some sort of explanation.

"Oh. I don't know. They must be somewhere, right? I never knew you liked photography that much. Maybe you want to design a cover for my new book, how does that sound?" She brabbled on and I couldn't believe my own ears.

With tears in my eyes and a sudden aggression I didn't know I had in me, I turned around to face her. She was lost in thought, mindlessly doodling in her notebook and upon seeing and hearing her childlike behaviour, I snapped.

"Be real for once, Renee!" I shouted.

I couldn't call her mom, not today, not here, not while discussing this subject. She shrank in front of me, shoulders tense and looked at me as if I had hit her.

"Please, Bella." She pleaded.

"No, what have you done?"

She sighed. "We thought it would be best if we took those picture from you. It might confuse you too much."

"The fuck it does. What are we? Why don't we age?" I screamed so loud now, she had to press her hands to her ears.

"I can't tell you anything, I'm sorry. Please believe me." Renee cried and for a second, only a second, I wanted to believe her. I wanted to rest my head into her shoulders and wanted to be held by my mother. But not today.

"Why should I?" I bitterly asked her. I mean, she had been lying for who knows how long.

"Because we love you. Everything we do, is for you." She looked up with her big eyes, filled with tears, and I shivered.

"That doesn't explain anything. I still have so many questions," I said quietly, cursing at myself as my voice broke.

She reached out to grab my hand, but I wouldn't let her. I couldn't let her get too close to me. "I know you do, believe me. I know. But you're angry and I'm overwhelmed. Shouldn't we do this together with your father?"

She looked so hopeful, as if with buying more time, I would suddenly forget all about it. Well, she clearly thought wrong. You never negotiate with terrorists. I pressed my lips together.

"You're not really in a position to make suggestions." I spatted at her.

Her face fell. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I jumped up, so quickly that the chair I sat on, fell to the ground. "I'm so sorry, Bella," I imitated her. "Your excuse doesn't mean shit. I still don't know anything. I only know you've been lying to me for God knows how long. Maybe I'm even older than dinosaurs. Who the fuck knows at this point? So save your shitty excuses, as I don't buy them."

Her eyes widened at my sudden outburst. I didn't care. All I knew was that I was right and that something was seriously wrong with my family.

I grabbed my food and rushed out of the house. I couldn't bare to be in the same house as those horrible, lying-to-your-own-daughter persons. Even in my own thoughts, I couldn't adress them as my own parents.

Which might be a bit too dramatic, but for fucksake, I was allowed to.

I sat in my car and drove away. I didn't care I would be early at school. Hell, I would be glad to be literally anywere in the whole wide world right now, exept for my own house.

I grabbed my steering wheel even tighter. The headache of this morning came back, and I seriously couldn't take it. It was too much. Too many emotions at once. A simple headache really was the last straw that broke the cameo's back.

I was way too angry to concentrate on anything else, exept for the constant throbbing pain around my head. My mind simply didn't registrate anything else that happened around me.

I didn't see that the Cullens arrived also early. Their silver Volvo was parked next to my car and they had a rather peculiar look on all of their faces.

I didn't see Alice's eyes lit up when she noticed my dress. She wanted to greet me and started walking towards me.

I didn't see she was stopped by the rest of her family, for a reason I didn't know.

I didn't see how impatiantly Alice and Edward discussed a way to open a conversation with me.

And I sure as hell didn't see the worried look Edward gave me as my body suddenly collapsed and I fell onto the ground.

A/N: No Edward this time :(