Frodo vs. Rosie
Ch.2
"And why would we ever think of doing that my Sam?"
"You know I can read you like a book Frodo, don't you try to pull off an innocent act with me."
"Oh man. You're no fun."
"Get back inside you trouble maker. I'll deal with you later."
"Sure thing Sam. But I'm not leaving till I get a hug!"
Sam gives Frodo a hug. "Now you're gonna make Rosie jealous."
"If she didn't want to lead a life of jealousy, Sam, then she shouldn't have married you. You were mine long before you were hers and she knows it. So why should I care?"
"Go inside before she gets jealous!"
"Well, just because you think I'll make her jealous, I will!" Frodo leans over on the steps and Kisses Sam on the cheek. "See ya!" He runs inside to join Merry and Pippin, leaving a shocked Sam.
Sam looks over at a now pale Rosie. "Rosie…"
Her face turns red in anger. "This means war Mr. Frodo!"
"Rosie, Frodo didn't mean to make you mad." –Who am I kidding? Of course he did! It's his life goal to make Rosie miserable!-
The next day.
There is a light knock on Frodo's door. "Coming!" He opens the door. "Yes Rosie?"
"I want you to stay away from Sam!"
"Now why should I ever do that?" –How DARE you tell me such a thing!-
"Because he's my husband! You got that!" She's all flustered.
"I'm afraid not." Frodo is as calm as ever.
"WHAT? What do you mean you don't understand?"
"I mean that you are wrong about him being your husband."
"Just because you refused to come to the ceremony doesn't mean that one didn't take place!"
"But you couldn't find the rings that day, correct?"
She ponders this for a few minutes. "No…"
"You must learn to think, Rosie. Henceforth, you were never officially married. Besides, Sam married me before he UNTHINKABLY married you. I had a right to ensure that you never got those rings. You lost my Sam a long time ago Rosie. And you lost him to me. Good day." He shuts the door on the dumbfounded girl.
That afternoon.
"You open this door right now Mr. Frodo!" An angry hobbit bangs on the door again. "I said open this door!"
"Sorry, I can't hear you! Try again!"
"MR. FRODO!"
"My apologies! He's not home right now! But if you'd like to leave a message, he'll try to answer you sometime this century! BEEP!"
"OPEN THIS DOOR –Eek!" A bucket of black goo gets dumped on her from above the doorway. "Rrrrg! Backdoor." As she approaches the backdoor, the mat falls from under her feet to reveal a deep hole. She drops into a pile of feathers. "Eek!" It takes her half an hour to climb out of the trench. When she's finally back on the walkway, she ses a mirror hanging on the door. She reads the message written in blood red on the mirror's surface. "Oh, too bad Rosie. What a humiliating defeat I've handed you. I hope you enjoyed your little tantrum. It won't last much longer. Oh my goodness! He's written it in blood!" She becomes horrified. "No! Look at me!" She sees her image in the mirror. "I look like a goose!" She runs home sobbing.
"Not a goose, Rosie. A chicken." Frodo is sitting in a tree, having watched the whole thing. "You're so stupid if you can't tell the difference. That wasn't blood you twit, it's only red paint mixed with black paint to make the color look darker. You're so easy to scare and humiliate that it's sad. Yes, go crying home to Sam. Sam would be the only one able to save you from me. But I highly doubt that he would stand in my way since it concerns you."