A/N: A few of my discord mutuals and I started talking about Data and last names, which somehow resulted in this fic.
This piece is entirely dedicated to DoogleDog101, who has forced me to write this. I am being held hostage /j
It had happened only a few days ago.
Commander Data and Commander La Forge had been working in Engineering together, as they so often did.
Their task had been pushed to the background, as another conversation about the nature of humankind had started, seemingly out of nowhere.
"I have trouble understanding the purpose of last names," Data said with furrowed brows.
"Really?" Geordi asked, a little surprised, "I had the impression you understood."
The android shook his head in an unnatural manner.
"Well, how do I explain?" the Engineer asked, rhetorically. "Uhm. I guess they serve as a way of identifying and differentiating us," he tried to explain, and added with a small laugh, "It would get very confusing if we only had our first names."
Data blinked. "Because there is more than one Geordi, but only one Geordi La Forge," he concluded.
"Exactly," Geordi affirmed with an amused smile. He elaborated, "Last names help us feel close to the people we love, too. That's why family members often share a last name."
Data looked at him, a little confused. "I thought that was the case for the sake of bureaucracy."
"Well, I mean that's another purpose for them," he replied and smiled at his boyfriend. "But I like my reasoning better. Last names can be an expression of love, in more than one way."
The android hm'd. "That is why a partner takes their significant other's last name," he theorized, and looked at Geordi for confirmation.
"I mean, yeah, when they marry they often do," he said.
Data went quiet for a moment. Geordi thought that he looked a little sad, now.
"I do not have a last name," the Commander said, frankly.
It took the Engineer a while to form a response. "Uhm...I mean, technically you do," he said, but in a way that sounded a bit uncertain.
Data looked at him and tilted his head.
"Soong? Data Soong?" he suggested, at which the android seemed pensive.
"I do not know my creator well," he replied, "I do not believe I can claim his last name."
Geordi furrowed his brows and leaned at the nearby console, eyes staring at the ceiling, to think.
"Then, what about…," he muttered to himself, before looking back down to his boyfriend. "What about Tainer? It's your mother's last name," he suggested this time.
Data thought about that one a little longer, however he came to the same conclusion as before. "I am unsure. We have only seen each other a few times," he explained.
"I don't think Mrs. Tainer would be against it. She'd probably like that, actually," Geordi assured the android with an amused smile.
"Mr. Tainer might not," Data argued. "Either way, I am not sure."
The Engineer sighed. "Well, if you don't want to," he said with resignation.
After another moment of silence, he joked, "If you need a last name...you can take mine." He laughed.
Data looked confused. "Geordi...is this a marriage proposal?"
The laughter stopped and Geordi stared at the android. Data noted that his body heat suddenly increased.
Then, Geordi asked with a nervous giggle, "Is it working?"
Data noticed that his own core temperature seemed to have risen, a bit.
"Yes," he replied, as frank as ever.
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Do I understand this right?" Lore interrupted his brother's retelling. "You're getting married because of a joke he made?"
Data wondered if that is what had happened. "You could put it that way," he said.
Lore hm'd. "You're getting too human, my brother," he said. Then, he added, "We're androids. We don't need last names."
"Interesting," Data said - more to himself than the other.
"You know Doctor Soong very well, and yet you do not choose to use his last name as your own," he analyzed, and faced his brother with curiosity. "Is it because you regard last names as a…human trait?"
"It is a human trait," Lore insisted, "They're completely unnecessary."
Data opened his mouth to argue. "As Geordi has explained to me, last names-"
"-can be an expression of love. I get it," Lore interrupted, mockingly. "But I don't understand."
"I do not understand it completely, either," Data said, "however I believe that taking Geordi's last name might help me understand it better."
Lore was quiet for a split second, before he made a smug face.
Data eyed him with suspicion. "You are up to no good, brother," he accused, remembering the last time Lore had looked at him, like this.
"No, no, no, no," the android said, "I just thought that perhaps I should give last names a chance, too, my brother."
"Ah," the other replied with the hint of a smile, "I see. That might be a good idea."
Lore nodded, with the same smug expression still on his face.
"By the way," he added, before they went their separate ways, "What's the Klingon's last name?"
Data looked at him, confused. "It is Moghson. However-"
Before he could finish his sentence, Lore had already turned to walk away.
"Congratulations on your engagement, dear brother," he said innocently, and was out of sight in mere seconds.
Data could not help but feel like he had made a mistake.
"Hey, Worf. Question," Lieutenant Yar interrupted the Klingon, who was currently fixated on the screen of the console.
"I know that Data and Geordi are getting married," she started, and then, with a laugh she was not able to suppress, added, "but I didn't know you and Lore are, too."
Worf turned to her with a look that would scare anyone who was not her.
"We are not getting married," he said in a serious tone, sounding a little bit offended. "What are you talking about?"
The Lieutenant couldn't keep a straight face. "It's just that...he's telling people to call him Mr. Moghson, for some reason?"
Worf looked utterly clueless. He growled and swiftly hurried to the Turbolift.
Commander Riker turned to see the Lieutenant leave and turned to Tasha with a questioning look. She, in response, shrugged, amusement written across her face.
Perhaps whatever these two had going on was funnier than she initially thought.
"Android," the Klingon growled as soon as he caught sight of the man at the bar.
"Hello, Worf," Lore greeted him casually. He was smiling mischievously, knowing what brought the Lieutenant here.
"I cannot permit you to continue this," he said through gritted teeth. "You are not a son of Mogh!"
"Ah, of course not," Lore replied frankly, "I'm merely giving last names a chance, as my dear brother had suggested."
"Commander Data probably didn't mean this," Worf shot back sarcastically. "Why are you doing this?"
"I told you. I'm trying to understand last names," Lore said with a smile, "and for that I needed to borrow yours."
"You cannot call yourself a Moghson. It is not a name, it is a statement of lineage. Of honor," Worf snarled.
Lore hm'd. "I know that, of course. But it serves my purpose," he argued and grinned at the Klingon.
The Lieutenant sighed in frustration. "Rozhenko," he said reluctantly.
Lore raised an eyebrow. "Rozhenko?"
"It is the family name of the humans that have raised me," Worf muttered.
"Rozhenko. It has a nice ring to it," the android remarked and gave him a teasing smile. "It'll do."
Tasha turned as soon as she heard the Turbolift open.
"How did it go?" she asked the disgruntled Klingon, with the same amusement as before.
"He will no longer refer to himself as a Moghson," Worf explained.
Lieutenant Yar looked surprised, but before she could say anything, the other elaborated.
"Instead, he'll use Rozhenko," the man growled, and turned his attention to the screen of the console.
Tasha started laughing. "I don't know if that's better or worse," she said.
"It is a sacrifice I am willing to make to protect my family's honor," Worf mumbled.
His friend smiled at him. "If you say so, big guy," she teased. This was getting very interesting indeed.