Frodo vs. Rosie

Ch.3

The next day.

"Hey Frodo?" He is attacking a non-cooperative hedge with hedge clippers.

"Yes Sam? Is something bothering you?" Frodo is sitting in a tree.

"Do you know why Rosie came home crying and dressed like a chicken the other day, by any chance?"

"Maaaybe." A smile creeps across Frodo's calm expression.

"What did you do to her yesterday?" Sam becomes curious.

"I presented her with the latest fasionable chicken suit."

"It's got some nice fathers." He laughs.

That afternoon.

"Frodo, I have a question that's been nagging me all morning."

"Ask away Sam. I'll be happy to answer it for you."

"Why did you kiss me that night at the Green Dragon?"

"I wanted to see Rosie's head do a complete 360, see how red she could puff up and see if smoke would come out of her ears so that her head would pop off like a dandelion." He smiles.

"Well you did a nice job of accomplishing that."

"So glad you enjoyed the show." Frodo jumps down from the tree.

"It was an interesting event." Sam fallows Frodo to the house.

"Well it's break time so drop those hedge clippers." Sam does so. "Good Sam. Now fallow Frodo into the house for a snack."

"Yes sir." They both enter the house. "Rosie told me to give you this letter. She said she worked all morning on it."

"She did, did she? Well then, let's see what she wrote." He opens the letter and silently reads it.

Dear Mr. Frodo,

Why did you do that to me yesterday? It was so frightening! How come you started hating me when I married Sam? I thought we were friends. You were nice to me before, now you're cold to me. Please write me and let me know what I did wrong and what I can do to fix it. –Rosie

"Well well, it seems that she actually noticed that she did something wrong. Not that she knows what she did."

Sam looks over Frodo's shoulder. "What are you going to do?"

"That's easy."

"What?"

"I'm going to kidnap you!"

"Frodo…"

"Sam, do you have a problem with me kidnapping you from Rosie?"

"No."

"Then be quiet while I write a ransom note."

"Frodo!"

"Oh c'mon Sam! I'm only teacher her a lesson."

"A lesson of what, may I ask?"

"The lesson of how to give up trying to keep you from me, if she wants to escape with her life."

"Aren't you being a bit harsh?"

"I don't think so. I think I'm being quite nice about it."

"Whatever makes you happy."

Frodo sits at his desk and write a calm letter to Rosie.

Rosie –

You misunderstood. We were never friends and you are shallow to ever think such a conflict ever existed. I was cold to you before, you're only noticing it now because you are a bird-brained idiot. Thanks ever so much for testing that newly made chicken suit the other day. I thought it looked great. Next time you should think twice before testing me. Frodo

P.S. I'm kidnapping Sam. Muaaaaa!

"My masterpiece is finished!"

"I'll go give it to Rosie for you."

"Sorry Sam, you can't come."

"Why not?" He sounds disappointed.

"Because, like I said, I'm kidnapping you."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"First of all, sit in this chair." Frodo gently pushes Sam into a chair and then leaves the room. He comes back with some rope and ties Sam to the chair. "And second, you stay right there until I get back."

"Hey! Untie me Frodo! This isn't fair!"

"Be careful my Sam, That's real elvish rope." Frodo hugs Sam, then heads out the door. "Don't worry, I'll be home soon. Now, to pay Rosie a little visit…" He leaves.