Chapter 12: A Boring Training

I ran further into the forest. I never realised how quick I could actually run, but then again, I never needed to. I used all of my strength, and much to my surprise, my muscles didn´t tire at all.

No, quite the opposite. I felt more alive than ever.

I saw a tree trunk a couple of miles ahead of me, and in a sudden reflex, I decided to jump over it. I pushed myself from the ground and flew in the air. The wind on my face relaxed me and instinctively, I landed on my own two feet again.

Interesting. Quite impressive for the world´s biggest klutz, if you asked me.

I heard Edward called out for me, but I managed to outrun him. Or he didn't try hard enough, which was also a feasible possibility. Whatever, I didn't want to see him anyway. He was such a dick.

My jaw hurt like a bitch from gritting my teeth so hard, but I was glad I didn't have to cry on top of that. No, I was way too angry. What did he say again? That I intrigued him, but why? He probably just wanted to say he only talked to me because freaks belong together or something. What a dick move.

I ran ever faster. For some reason, knowing for sure I wasn't normal, made it possible for me to stop trying to act normal at all. Here, surrounded by nothing but trees who couldn´t judge me, I was alone. Truly alone. No one saw me. No one noticed me. And no one paid attention to me.

I was free. Truly freed from the harness that I tried to capture myself in. I didn't need to pretend. Not anymore.

I wished I could say that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, but that was a lie, unfortunately. I still didn't know anything.

I rolled my eyes. I've already waited a billion years, so I could probably wait a billion more before I would return and know everything else.

But I didn't want to return, not yet. Being truly alone turned out to be the blessing I so desperately longed for.

When I finally reached an open field filled with yellow and purple wildflowers, I stopped. There was a lake here somewhere, I could hear it, but the serenity of the place made me stop to appreciate it. This was probably the first place I had ever seen in Forks, where the constant rain actually did something good. Without the rain, there wouldn't be these beautiful flowers.

I closed my eyes and went over all the conversations that I had the past couple of hours. Did all of that really happen in only one day? Just one day, my life was around and nothing could ever be the same again.

The morning fight with my mother, me passing out, the hospital visit, spending the day with the Cullens and finally, knowing everything that I wanted to know.

Still not enough, though.

I also remembered something else, something important, and since I was alone right now, I wanted to try something.

I opened my eyes and went to the nearest tree to place my hand on its branch. One hour ago, I could break a piece of the wall with just one tiny smack and I wondered if I could do it all again, or if I had an adrenaline rush.

Renee and Charlie raised me and taught me how I had to behave. I wondered if they had also taught me how to behave in front of others, and if they had known I was this strong to begin with.

With my hand still on its trunk, I clenched my fingers together. Something hurt just a tiny bit so I looked down to see what it was. And all I saw were the tiny splinters of the crushed wooden material, turned into nothing but dust.

Holy shit.

I quickly looked at the tree, totally flabbergasted, and noticed a hole where my hand had been. The same hole that matched the one in my kitchen.

I almost had to maniacally laugh again. Was I in shock, with the way I behaved right now? Truly, this wasn´t a normal reaction, now was it? What was wrong with me?

Apparently, a lot, so a little shock was the least of my worries.

I ran to the other side of the meadow, and tried to do my little trick again, only with a different tree this time. Maybe the other one was old and dead inside.

Old, like me.

Dead inside, like Edward.

Oh man, I really needed to stop these inner jokes. But what else was I supposed to do, cry and give away into my despair? No! And it´s not like they write self help books about this.

´How to deal with being a magical freak.´

´Hybrid 101 - Find out everything you're too afraid to ask.´

´10 tips on overcoming your crushes weird kinks.´

Actually, that last one might exist somewhere.

But no, enough already with these inner jokes. I needed to be practical. So I placed my hand on a different tree and tried again.

But nope. A few minutes later, all five trees surrounding the meadow had matching holes in them. Apparently, I was strong. Immensely strong. And my parents must have known about that all this time.

I sat down cross-legged and put my head in my hands. I realised I ran away way too early, as I still didn't know anything at all. Stupid me. I acted on impulse rather than thinking it through and now I knew almost zero to nothing.

But I also didn't want to return just yet.

So instead, I kept myself busy. I knew I could run very fast. I also knew I was very strong. What else did I miss? Edward mentioned he was a vampire and my parents mentioned they were vampire hybrids. So that must mean I'm sort of a hybrid as well.

Daughter of two hybrids. Yes, Edward did say that to me.

And there was a treaty. That was the reason Renee flipped out when she saw him. And apparently, Edward broke that treaty.

So the treaty must mean they weren't allowed to talk to me. Since Edward talked to me during my first day in class. But I´ve talked with his whole family already and they all acted normally around me, except for Rosalie, of course.

Maybe she ignored me because of that treaty. Maybe she needed to.

Argh, this was worse than making sense of our Mathematics homework. Damn it, I shouldn't have left.

I looked up, and much to my surprise, it was midnight already. I knew it had to be quite late, but once I saw the moon and felt how tired I actually was, I realised it was time for bed.

I looked around and found some comfortable flowers. This would have to do for now. I wouldn't return. Not yet.

Morning came, and I woke up from the sun and the humidity in my clothes. Yuck.

I looked at the sky and couldn't make sense of the timing, so instead, I tried to find the lake I heard yesterday. I quickly found it, and started to undress myself, shoes first.

My colourful dress now seemed like a sick joke and completely out of place to the surroundings I was in. My now dirty headband was a constant reminder of the Cullens. Did Alice also only talk to me because she sensed I was weird? It had to be. And still, I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It was way too pretty for that.

I neatly folded my dress and placed it down on some stones. I quickly looked around to see if no one was watching -in the middle of a forest, stupid me- before I undid my bra and stepped out of my underpants.

I washed myself in the water and even though I was still the same me, I felt different of course. My body was the same body and it still belonged to me, but the strength of it surprised me even.

I got out of the water as it started raining. I could´ve guessed, as it was Forks after all and some things might never change. I mean, it wasn't like my humanity which changed like the seasons, am I right?

Luckily, my clothes were still relatively dry, but I was very cold. I used my newfound powers to run quickly in circles, and I managed to dry up because of that. I guess being a hybrid had its perks after all.

I dressed myself and my stomach started growling. Oh shit, I hadn't thought of that. How was I to survive in the wilderness without chocolate, I had no clue.

But, my nature took over. A couple of birds flew over me and before I could rationally think it through, I climbed the nearest tree and grabbed one bird in my hand. I pressed my lips softly on its body as if I kissed it and I didn´t know what happened after that.

It all happened so fast, way too fast for the human eye to notice. But after only a second, the lifeless corpse of the poor animal lay next to my feet. The bird looked way too skinny, as if it was filled with something before and now it was empty. Drained. Dead.

Something warm fell down my chin. I wiped it away and much to my dismay, I saw a drop of bright red blood. I screamed.

I guess being a hybrid sucks.