I was bored and felt like writing this. This is a one sided kataraxaang. So yea, but this is Zutara. I just wanted to show ppl how Aang's feeling is toward their relashionship. This might be off, since I didn't edit it, didn't feel like it...

So enjoy!

I saw everything.

The way she dreamily smiled when his name was said.

The way that she fought with him—she wasn't protecting me; she was just having a playful spar, seeing whose better. It was never aggressive, and sometimes when she tackled him, no one would see how she secretly kissed him on the cheek and silently whispered in his ear—but me.

I would watch her abstractedly stare at the sea, waiting for him to show up so she can blow a kiss when she thinks no one is looking. I would watch her get up at midnight, tiptoeing around obstacles so she can run her way into the forest to meet him again.

I watched her from the beginning it all started, the night she was just taking a silent walk, and she had to bump into him. They attacked each other, I would've helped, but seeing as she was trying to protect me, I didn't want to interfere. She was winning, using her advantages; the flowing river and the moon. They fought with insults as I silently cheered her on, but that changed when she accidentally tripped and fell on him.

When she did however, she also accidentally kissed him. Square on the lips.

I don't know how it really started, but they just laid there looking at each other's eyes. When she rolled off him, they just sat in silence until he left without a goodbye. I wanted to go talk to her, ask her if she was alright, but I couldn't move. The girl I loved kissed someone—no not someone, my enemy. It was an accident, but I still felt anger pulse through me. And when she got up and pasted me, she didn't even notice I was there. She was so distant. Even in the morning.

I don't know how it happened. But when we had an encounter with him late at night, she was different. So was he.

From then, I always watched her get up at midnight to meet him. I'm not sure why she wanted too, or how she knew he was going to be there, but he was. And soon later, they fell in love after some time of their midnight meetings.

Not with me.

Him.

I would follow, and every night I would be betrayed. They would share kisses, hugs, loving whispers, and they would talk nothing but their imaginary future together. Marriage, children, growing old, and much more.

What would I do?

I would just watch them.

Watch them hold each other, watch them kiss each other, watch them caress each other…and I did nothing.

I wanted her first. I loved her first. She was mine first, I would always think. Sometimes I would pretend I'm him, she saying I love you's to me, not him.

It would be me.

Not him.

Sometimes I would wonder when they would break up, but it never happened. Sure, she said it was wrong, and was betraying me, but she did it anyway. They kept it a secret, and I always knew. I wish I didn't though…

—no, I'm glad I knew. Then I wouldn't act like a fool, and when I told her I loved her, it would make her cry and say no. I probably would cry too. But that was if I didn't know.

But I did.

I keep my love for her a secret, and secretly watch her love another man.

I wish it was me.

Not him.

Sometimes they would have a spar, just to practice and see whose better. He would always let her win; playfully saying 'I'll get you next time'. Sometimes she lost purposely, and pretended to be hurt, so she could see the look on his guilty, fearful face. The first time I almost believed her, but I didn't ruin my cover. She was faking, I could tell, I knew her more.

I did.

Not him.

Now as I watch in through the bushes, as I did almost every night, I watch them do the same. Hold each other, kiss, and share loving words as always. And I would pretend it was me, not him.

"Katara, did I ever tell you, that you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen?"

"Oh yes Zuko. And did I ever tell you that you have the most handsome face I've ever seen."

After a few seconds, they kissed deeply, she moaning with pleasure.

"Yes…"

He murmured between breaths of their ever-lasting famous kiss. I was used to this, I was used to keeping my mantra saying,

'Not him, not him, not me, me, not him, not him…me…'

Sometimes she would look at me straight in the eyes, and I would wonder if she could see me. But she never did. I wish she did. She would feel sad for me and would come back to my arms and say she loves me. Not him.

But I could only dream.

And hope.

I knew it would never happen.

She loves him, not me.

That's how it will ever be.

Review if you want it continued, I think it's a oneshot tho, but just review and tell me otherwise or agree. Whatever, my other story updates will be up soon!