Lost Souls

by tarskeewee

Todd Manning is a man facing the electric chair, Evangeline Williamson is the attorney struggling to save his life. John McBain is the tortured cop fighting his own demons. All three are tortured souls and through a chain of events their lives will never

2. Chapter 2

Lost Souls by LUVINGJOVAN

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Chapter 8: Lost Souls

Dr. Crosby stared at him in disbelief he didn't understand where all this was coming from, "I heard about her rescue, is she okay?" He said setting his pen down and leaning back in his chair.
"Broken wrist, sprained ankle, and pretty banged up but other than that she's fine." John said narrowing his eyes at Dr. Crosby.

He nodded his head and slowly moved around his desk to sit in the chair opposite John, "So you say she keeps you living huh?"
"NO! I didn't say it, I know she does." He said glaring at him.
"Okay let's take a few steps back here, because to me this is completely out of the blue."
"Fine."
"First, what about Ms. Vega I thought you two were together or kind of together." He said pulling a note pad from his desk.

John ran a hand over his face and leaned back in the chair. He stared down Dr. Crosby before letting out a soft sigh, "That's over, she can't be and I don't want her to be in my life."
"I don't get it."
John shook his head, "It's hard to explain most of the time I don't know why I do the things I do, but I do know one thing that is for sure, I want and need Evangeline in my life so that I can feel whole, complete, worthy and you are going to help me get her back."

Dr. Crosby held up his hand and shook it, "I'm not in the business of putting couples back together. If that is what you want I can refer you to another psychologist, a couples therapist. But if you want to work out whatever problems you have then I can do that."
John pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, "What do I need to do?" he said softly looking down at the floor.

Dr. Crosby smiled and stood up, sitting on the edge of his desk he smiled at John, "What you need to do is be honest with me, with yourself, and be ready to let go of some of the things that are holding you back from whatever it is you want out of life."
"I want her…"
"I get that, I understand that you see something in Evangeline that you want, that you feel you need."
"I love her."
"I don't see how?" Dr. Crosby said shaking his head back and forth.
John glared at him shooting him daggers, "Excuse me!" he hissed.

"You heard me I didn't stutter and I sure as hell didn't mumble."
"I love her." John said staring at him.
"You don't, you can't! You can't even love yourself, how can you love someone else."
"I know I love her, I don't care what you say."
"Did you tell her this?"
"Yes…"
"And what did she say back?"

John stood from his seat and paced back and forth around Dr. Crosby's office, "I asked you a question John. If this is going to work, you have to be willing to give back and answer questions. I'm not going to do this on my own."
"I know, I know damnit!" He snapped.
"So what did she say?"
"She didn't believe me." He said sadly, his face tight with pain and disappointment that he had waited so long to tell her these things. To finally open his mouth and actually speak.
"When did you tell her these things? I mean she was just rescued from a plane crash and you what, I'm guessing you just spit it out that you love her?"
"Yeah, something like that…"

Dr. Crosby laughed in his face his eyes brimming with tears, "McBain man you are totally screwed up. You honestly expected her to just say okay, I love you too!"
"Yes…" he said staring at him confused, "I know she still loves me, she has too. We are…"
"What soul mates? Yeah I'm sure you are, you dump her…"
"She dumped me." He snapped, "I'm sick of everyone saying that I dumped her. If I had my way we would still be together." He said exasperated. John was sick of everyone saying these things, and no one believing him that he was in love with her and had been for some time now.
"Okay, so she dumped you. I get that and I won't make that mistake again, but McBain you took up with another woman in front of her. You flaunted Natalie around knowing that she was married by the way and acted like her feelings didn't matter. You spent how long with Evangeline?"
"A year." He said softly.
"A year and what you are just now getting around to telling the woman that you loved her!"

John sat in his chair putting his head in his hands, "I know I screwed up and that's why I need your help. I need someone's help. She won't take me back, she won't see that I believe in her, that I love her without your help."
"What do you want to get out of this John?" Dr. Crosby said sitting down in his chair behind his desk.
"I want to let go and move forward with Evangeline. I want her to see that I love her and only her and that she's always been first in my heart and my head."
"Tell her that."
"I did! Dammit I did." He seethed, "This is pointless." John stood from his seat and walked to the door.

"You walk out that door and consider getting your so called life back nil and void John. I know this is going to be hard, but you have to face what so called haunts you man."
John let his hand hover over the door and looked back at Dr. Crosby. He took a deep breath and placed his hand on the door knob.

"What are you doing here Cris?" Evangeline asked moving back from the door.
"Just coming by to see how you are. I mean you were in a plane crash for goodness sakes." He said shaking his head as he sat across from Evangeline in her living room. "So how are you?"
"Good, sore but good. Thanks for coming by."
"Anything for you Evangeline, anything…" Cris said smiling.

Evangeline lowered her head as she cradled her right hand, "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure anything!" he said grinning.
"John…"
"That man was out of control Evangeline, I don't think I've ever seen him so I don't know, so overwhelmed by it all."
"Really?" she asked tucking her hair behind her ears.
"Really, people were telling him left and right that you were dead, but he wouldn't listen to them. He kept saying that he would know that if you were dead."

"Oh okay…"
"So did he tell you?" Cris asked tilting his head to the side.
"Tell me what?" She asked shaking her head back and forth.
"Don't play stupid with me Evangeline. After everything we've been through, even now… He told you didn't he?"
"Yeah…."
"And?"
"What did we say before, no talking about my love life or in this case lack there of one."
"How's Natalie?"
"Why do you care?" he said laughing, "Remember no talk of love lives or lack there of."
"Okay deal." She said smiling, "So now what?"

"Heck if I know, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. It was quite interesting to say the least to find you in the arms of Manning."
"It's not what you think, it's not what any of you think." Evangeline said shaking her head, "Todd saved my life."
"Like you did mine."
"Sure, like I did yours. But he rescued me from that plane, I seriously owe everything that I will experience from here on out to Todd Manning."
"Well I'm here too, I'm right here whenever you need me, anything you know that right?"
"Thank you so much Cris, that means a lot to me." She said reaching and touching his hand.

Todd watched as Blair moved through the living room pacing back and forth in front of him, "Let me guess you don't know where to start huh? So let me help you out, we were supposed to be in this together Blair." He snapped glaring at her.

Blair sat down and put her heads in her hands, "Let me explain Todd. I mean all the evidence was piled against you!"
"So what! You were supposed to stick by me. Why is that Evangeline could do that and you couldn't?"
"She's paid to believe you." Blair snapped glaring at Todd.
"She may be paid to believe in me, but she sure as hell didn't give up fighting with me when the jury came back with verdict."
"What!" Blair snapped rising to her feet. She stood in front of Todd glaring at him, "If I recall you gave up yourself. You were so resigned to dying you practically had your will planned out." She hissed narrowing her eyes on him.

"Yeah maybe I did, but when you lose the one person that you always thought would trust you, believe in you, love you till the very end of everything you kinda loose your focus. That make sense!" he snapped.
"I'm sorry, how many times do I have to tell you that. I made a mistake."
"Oh please, you call screwing Truman a mistake. The man was out to get you and me both from the beginning. I seriously don't know how many times I tired to tell you that! He always had his hands on you and I see you finally gave in and spread them damn legs of yours." He huffed.

Blair reached up to slap him and Todd grabbed her hand, "Don't even think about it." He said glaring at her, "I'm not going to let you take out your bad decisions on me. I never gave up on us but from your need to get in Spencer's bed most likely before I was even back at Statesville proves that you did."
Dropping her hand Todd took a step back and shook his head, "And to think I fought to get back to you, I was going to fight with Evangeline to clear my name." he said laughing and shaking his head.

Blair ran her hand over her wrist where Todd had held it tightly, "What is about you and her, I don't get it."
"Who?"
"Evangeline, I mean seriously what is about that woman!"
"Jealous?" he asked with a sly grin.
"Excuse me." Blair snapped, "Do I have reason to be?"
Todd shrugged his shoulders as he walked past her heading upstairs to their bedroom.
"Todd!" she yelled at him, "Todd damnit I'm talking to you!"

Taking the stairs two at a time Todd left Blair standing in the middle of the living room glaring at him and shooting daggers at the back of his head. There was no way she would let anyone come in between them. She dealt with Tea, Skye, Margaret and any other woman that thought they had any claim to Todd. He was her man and no one would take him from her, especially not Evangeline.

"Hey shorty…" Todd said peering into Starr's room.
She looked up at him and smiled, "Hey dad, you and mom okay? I heard you two fighting down stairs."
"Yeah you know us. That's what we do." He said patting her on the head as he climbed into bed next to her. Starr snuggled up under her fathers arm placing it around her shoulder and let out a deep sigh, "You know I never gave up that you were alive."
"I know, I fought to come back to you and Jack."
"Mom too…"
Todd smiled softly, "Yeah you're mom too. There are some things we need to talk about?"
"What's that?"
"I can't stay her shorty. I need to get some things straightened out hun."

Starr shot up and glared at her father, "Leaving this house is not the way to do it."
"Listen Starr…"
"NO! You listen. I'm sick you and mom making all kinds of decisions for this family without thinking about how it affects Jack and I! You are going to stay in this house and work it out! I've been through way to much for you to just walk out on the both of us again."
Todd smiled at her, her spunk, gumption to give him hell was one of the things he loved most about her. She was like him in that right. Sitting up on the bed and watched her glare at him with her hands on her hips. She was becoming her mother right in front of him, powerful, demanding, and wanting what she wanted and now! "I'm sorry shorty. I know what I have to do hun. Right now being here isn't where I need to be."
"So what you're just going to run! Run from me!"

Todd walked over to her and pulled her into a hug holding her tight as Starr tried push him away, "Stop it! You can't leave me, us…" she said sadly chocking her tears back.
"I'm not leaving, I just need to work some stuff out Starr. I'll be around you know that. I love you too much shorty to let you go." He said kissing the top of her head.

Starr pulled back from Todd wiping at the corners of her eyes. "I don't want you to leave me."
"I'm not leaving you…" he said softly.
"Then stay."
"I can't not right now. Maybe at another time shorty, but now I can't…"
"Fine, run! Be a damn coward." She hissed.
Todd shook his head smiling at her, that was his daughter for ya.

"Hold on I'm coming!" Evangeline yelled grabbing her crutch and hobbling to the door. Her body hurt all over but she was glad for the pain medicine that Michael had gotten her. "Who is it?" she asked placing her hand on the door.

"Open up please…"
Evangeline gasped at the voice, her hand shaking over the door knob. "Please I need to talk to you." John said softly placing both his hands on the door resting his head in between them.
"John just go, I don't want to talk to you. It's over, please stop this…"
"I'm not leaving, I'm not running from you, from us. Please just let me in. I'm only asking for five minutes."
"Five minutes?" she questioned clicking the lock on the door. John heard the door unlock and let out a soft sigh of relief. He needed her right now, just to see her, hear her voice smell that soft scent that still lingered on his pillow months after she left him.

Pulling the door back she eyed the man in front of her. He was some how different yet the same, his eyes downcast to his shoes his hair falling around his face when he looked up at her his heart broke.

Evangeline's face covered in bruises her hand in a cast as she leaned against a crutch, "Can I?" John asked taking a step forward. Hobbling backwards on the lone crutch she moved out of his space as he tried to move closer to her. John slipped his hands in his pockets to prevent from touching her face, hair, her skin anything to get the contact he so desperately desired being next to her.
"Sure…" she mumbled turning around and moving back to the couch.

John watched her slow movements and it broke his heart. If he had just listened to her about Manning she wouldn't have been on that damn crash and broken and bruised the way she was. Closing the door he walked over and stood in front of her hovering over her desperately wanting to wrap his arms around her and just spill everything, everything that kept him from truly loving her and giving himself over to her from the very beginning.

"What is it you want John." She said raising her foot up on a stack of pillows.
John sat down careful to avoid her foot. Looking at her leg in an air cast he reached out to touch her foot softly, "Does it hurt?"
"Not any more." She said shaking her head sadly. "That gave me a lot of drugs. You're five minutes is ticking away John, what brings you here and why?"
"I started seeing Dr. Crosby today." He said letting his eyes wonder over her body.

Evangeline felt expose from his stare, exposed from the way his lips parted as he breathed the same air as her. Covering her chest she scooted back against the couch, "You know I love you right." He said scooting closer.
"I told you it isn't enough John, nothing will be. It's over between us you need to move on."
"Not going to work… You can push me away as much as you want but we both know it won't ever work." He said scooting closer to her.

Evangeline held up her hand as he narrowed in on her, "Please just go. I'm not ready to have this conversation with you now or ever." She said sadly shaking her head as a tear streamed down her cheek.
"God I hate making you cry." He said touching her face softly, wiping the tear away.
Evangeline pushed his hand away and it broke his heart a little more, "What do I have to do to get you to believe in us again?" he said softly leaning his forehead against hers, "I need you Evangeline."
"Please John, go." She said in a shaky voice as her eyes fluttered closed.
"You don't want me to go, I know you don't. You need me too, not as much as I need you, not as much as I love you but it's there and it won't ever go away." He said letting his lips graze over hers.

Evangeline sucked in her breath felling his hand move slowly into her hair pulling her head closer as he gently parted her lips with his tongue. He could feel her giving into the kiss, giving in to them to everything that they shared and more. John uncurled his tongue into her mouth inhaling the taste of her again, nothing compared to the way she tasted, the way she felt.

He put his hand up under her legs pulling her from the couch into his arms. Her arms went around his neck as he carried her from the couch to the bedroom. The kiss never broke as he moved slowly with her in his arms and gently lowered her onto the bed. John hovered over her as he kissed down her neck, as it arched exposing the soft tender, bruised flesh to him.
"I promise to never hurt you again."
"I can't, we can't…" she moaned.
"We can… It's so right." He moaned against her ear as he parted her knees and slowly moved his pelvis against hers, "I love you and nothing will change that. I need you to say you love me, please…" he cried as his hand gently massaged her left breast.

Evangeline put her hand against his chest to push him away and John grabbed her left hand as he looked down at her, "I'm right here…. Right here waiting for you, I know I've made a lot of mistakes Evangeline but I want you to see me, to see that I'm trying to change."

She reached up and touched his face, that is what was different he was changing and for her, it was all of her. Feeling her palm on his face John lost all of his sense and kissed her hard against the lips, deeply passionately Grabbing at her pants John pulled them down and over her air cast. "I need you to tell me…" he whispered pushing her knees apart, "Tell me you love me, tell me you never stopped." He said holding back tears as he moved against her, not wanting to take her until she said it.

"I never stopped." She said crying as he clung to him with her good arm. "I never stopped."
John pulled at his pants pushing them down as he worked his way out of his boxers and slid slowly into her. Evangeline gasped at the intrusion getting used to the feel of him again. Her tears ran down her cheeks as his did the same pushing his way in and out of her he grunted, feeling at home, feeling in heaven as he held onto her, and her love, their love something that no one could take from either of them.

"I'm right here waiting…" he moaned pushing in and out of her slowly, not wanting to release ever. John clung to her holding her against his chest careful of her injuries. "I need you, I always will…" he said desperately.

Evangeline stared at the ceiling as his words trickled into her ear and found her heart, the one place she never wanted him in again. "I love you too John." She said softly as she felt the fierce orgasm taking control of her. "I never stopped." She cried softly.

"MCBAIN!" Dr. Crosby snapped glaring at him.
John shook his head and ran a hand over his face, "Yeah…"
"Where were you?"
"Did you say something?" John asked staring at him.
"Yeah I asked why now, what has changed?"

"I almost lost her, lost my life." He said softly. "When I lost her, I lost everything that matter most and never knew it until she was almost gone from this world."
Dr. Crosby shook his head understanding his finally decision to come back to therapy. He knew another loss could cause him to break, and from the look on John's face he was about to fall apart without Evangeline in his life. "You rescued her right?"
"Yes…."
"Even after Commissioner Buchanan told you to stay out of it."
John looked up at him and rolled his eyes, "Yeah, even after."
"Why can't you take orders John?"
"He was trying to keep me from her!" he snapped.
Dr. Crosby held up his hand and shook his head, "No, he wasn't. He was doing his job, something that you need to learn to separate."
"What?"
"This job John… it's all about the job for you isn't it. What are you trying to prove and who are you trying to prove it too?"
"No one!" he hissed.
"Bull! I saw how you were when she went missing. You were ready to kill Bo because of it. This need of yours to avenge the people you lost and to take it personally is clouding your judgment John."
"So that's why you took my badge and gun?"
"Yeah, partly, and the other part is that you have some deep routed trauma that you never got over. I'm guessing it all stems from your dad."

John stood up and shook his head, "Not ready for that yet." He said walking to the door.
"Fine, same time tomorrow John! If you want her back, your job back you're going to have to open up some time or another, hopefully sooner rather than later!" Dr. Crosby called out to him.

"Where are you going!" Blair asked as Todd moved his things from their bedroom to the foyer.
"I need to get my head clear Blair."
"So stay, stay with me and the kids we need you Todd." She said reaching for him.
"I'm sure you did, so that's why you slept with Spencer."
"I apologized for that, are you ever going to let me live that down?"
"Right now no! I don't care what you're feeling right now Blair. You screwed everything up by taking up with the man that framed me for Margaret's murder."

Blair reached for Todd's bags and Todd pushed her hands away, "Don't! I'm going and it's over between us."
"The hell it is Manning, there is no way we're over and you know it!" Blair snapped staring at him.
Todd shook his head as he opened the door, "I'm gone Blair, and since Spencer is dead I guess that leaves you all alone huh?"

Todd pushed his bags out into the hallway and smiled at the bellhop in front of him, "Get me a cab would you." He said handing the guy money.
"Sir, yes sir…"

Todd turned to look back at Blair and to see Jack and Starr coming up behind him, "Where are you going daddy?" Jack said holding his frog close to his chest.

Todd looked up at Blair and then down at Starr and Jack, "I just need to get some things straight Jack."
"But why are you leaving us, you just got home." He said sadly.
Todd reached out and wrapped his arms around his son, holding him tight to his chest as he looked over at Starr, "You two keep your mom safe, she needs you right now."
Starr held her arms across her chest holding back tears as Blair stood behind her sadly sniffling and wiping her eyes.

"I don't want you to go daddy… please." Jack said softly crying.
"It's okay bud, We'll still hang out like normal okay?"
"NO daddy don't go!"

Todd looked up at Starr as he slowly stood and grabbed his bag. Putting it on his shoulder he reached out for Starr who snatched her arm back and ran up the stairs. Blair reached out to touch Todd and he turned his back on her, for the last time. "Since Margaret is alive I'll get some guards for you and the kids okay."
"Thank you, but I would feel safer if you were here with us."
"I can't Blair, I can't look at you the same way."

Walking out the door Blair reached for Jack and held him against her as Todd left them, but it wasn't over it never will be over, "I'll be right here waiting for you Todd!" she called out after him.

"Coming!" Evangeline yelled grabbing her crutch and moving slowly to the door, "Hold your horses. " She mumbled as the pounding on the door became insistent.

Looking through the peep hole she closed her eyes and let out a deep smile. Opening the door she took a step back, "What are you doing here?" she asked tilting her head to the side.
"I need a place to stay." Todd said holding his bags up in the air smiling at her.
Evangeline hobbled backwards as Todd lugged his stuff into the apartment.
"Why here, why not the Palace, "She asked watching him bring in bag after bag.

"What you don't want me here Princess?" Todd asked pouting.
"I didn't say that, it's just that you've got all this money. Wait a minute, what does Blair thing about this!" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Does it matter because right now I don't care about what she thinks." He snapped.
"Oh okay, we'll lay off the Blair subject for the time, but seriously Todd the Palace?" She said falling back on the couch propping her foot up.

"How's the wrist princess, the ankle too?" Todd asked avoiding her question as he sat down next to her. Todd gently picked at her big toe smiling, "They are good, I'm good." She said smiling at him brightly.

"You need anything? Some more pain meds, what they got you doped up on any way?" he asked reaching for her pill bottle, "Wow Tylenol with Codeine, good stuff man." Todd said smiling.
"Give me those!" Evangeline laughed snatching the pills away from him. "Those could get ya a whole carton of cigs in Statesville." He said smiling
Evangeline shook her head ignoring his comment, "You know I don't have much space here." She said looking around.

Todd stood and walked around her apartment taking it all in, "It's not as big as the penthouse but it will do."
"My sister stays here too Todd, we don't really have the room." She said looking over her shoulder.
"I could sleep with you." He said smiling and raising his eyebrows at her.
"Not going to happen." She said laughing and turning away from him.
"Oh why not, it will be just like our little home away from home."
"What the ranger station?" she said looking over at him.
"Yeah that. I mean we've already slept together once might as well do it again."

"You what!" Layla snapped slamming the door.
"Layla…" Evangeline said shocked to see her.
"You slept with him!" She said heated glaring and pointing at Todd.
"Best I ever had." He said smiling as he leaned against a table placed under the window.

Layla narrowed her eyes on her sister and then back at Todd, "Please tell me he's kidding Vangie." She said placing her hands on her hips.
"I'm not Layla. We slept together and it was amazing." Todd said smiling.
"Todd stop it!" Evangeline said shooting him daggers. "Layla we did not sleep together, Todd stop joking around."
"Then what is going on here! What is he doing here Vangie?"
"I'm your new rommie!" He said smiling.
"What on god's green earth are you talking about!" Layla said staring at Todd as she moved across the room to stand in front of him. She looked at Evangeline and then back at Todd, "What is going on here. I thought that John told you that he loved you." She asked confused.

"What does McBain, have to do with me living with you?" he said leaning over into Layla's face. Layla pushed Todd away and walked over to Evangeline. Kneeling next to her Layla ran her hand over Evangeline's face careful of her bruises. "Sweetie, what are you doing?"
"It's not enough Layla."
"It's what you wanted." She said softly.
"It's what I thought I wanted, but now I know I need more, I deserve more, I want more Lay."
"That's right Princess. You deserve someone that is devoted to you and only you." Todd said walking over to them.

"That's John damnit! You didn't see how he was when you were missing either of you!" Layla said clearly irritated not only at the situation but at Todd being a little bird in her ear telling her the complete opposite of what she needs in her life.
"No it isn't Lay…" Evangeline said softly.
"The hell it isn't! I'm going to prove it to you."
"You sound like John." Evangeline said laughing, "Cris too."
"That should tell you something Van. I mean the man was out of control! He loves you Evangeline and he's telling anyone that will listen!"

"I don't care!" Evangeline snapped glaring at her sister. As Evangeline tried to stand up they all heard a knock at the door. She looked up at Layla and then back over at Todd, "I'll get it." Todd said rushing to the door.
"The hell you will." Layla snapped jumping up from the floor.
Todd pushed Layla out of the way and walked over to the door. Flinging it open Todd smiled a sly smirk, "McBain." He said grinning.
"What the hell are you doing here Manning." John said glaring at him.

By: Oltlfantimes10

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Chapter 9: Lost Souls

Todd smirked looking John in the eye, he had to admit he was enjoying this too much. "Come in McBain." he said opening the door wider.

John with his hands in his pockets scowled at Todd stepping past him into his lady loves place. Layla was on the other side of Todd, looking relieved that he showed up. For a minute she thought she'd have to talk some sense into her sister alone.

The air was thick with tension as John and Evangeline communicated without words. John had to admit he didn't like the look in her eyes. Those eyes used to stare back with such adoration and love. Now she stared at him as if he was a stranger.

"Why is he here Van?" John asked softly his heart beating in his chest by the way she continued to resist him.

"I live here now!" Todd said closing the door. It was those words that made him take in the suitcases that were near her feet. It seemed to be some kind of sick joke. "What.?" he mumbled unable to hide his discomfort.

Layla had, had her full of Todd's unwelcome visit and decided to put an end to the stupid game he was playing with her sister. "The hell you do! I'm on to you..there's no way in hell you're staying with me and my sister!" Layla snapped glaring at Todd.

"Tell me he's joking right?" John asked taking a step toward Evangeline giving her a weak smile. The cast on her arm and the bandaged foot, made her appear more vulnerable to him. Whatever happened as a result of this plane crash had really taken its toll. His Vangie would never let Todd Manning move in.

Evangeline glared at him finally coming out of her shock at his reappearance. She didn't believe in his sincerity and was even surprised by a return visit. Why wasn't he brooding at the station with that preschooler at his feet? And who did he think he was looking at her as if she lost her mind. "I don't owe you any type of explanation John." she said moving from the sofa carefully on her crutches.

"The hell you don't!" he said stepping in front of her, blocking her way. This madness had to stop and if she didn't put an end to it, he would.

"Why don't you get out.the lady isn't in the mood for one your whiny sessions!"

John glared over his shoulder pointing at Todd with rage all over his face. "You shut up Manning before I shut you up!" he snarled.

Layla came over to Evangeline, standing in front of her. "Van, please what are you doing what is going on with you and Todd? You can't possibly want him here."

"Lay don't you have to be at work now?" Evangeline asked tired of them both implying that she's loosing her mind.

"I'm not going anywhere until you throw him out!" she said folding her arms across her chest.

"Layla, leave! I mean it." Evangeline snapped back, fixing her eyes on her sister with a serious stare. Layla stood her ground as John ran his hands through his hair. He had come because he heard Bo say that Nora was going home today. He thought he'd surprise her by taking her to see her.

He had no idea that Manning had gone this far. Looking at the two sisters staring each other down he noticed Todd smirking devilishly from the corner of his eye. The asshole was enjoying the standoff.

John decided to orchestrate peace, touching Layla softly on the shoulder, he spoke to her comfortingly. "I'll take care of her, there's no way Manning is staying here."

Todd sucked his teeth and walked around John to stand next to Evangeline "You really are a egomaniac..didn't the lady tell you that she didn't want you? So go jump back in that bat mobile of yours and chase after that Joker you've been keeping time with, while her husband rotted in jail."

John smiled "Oh so now you're an expert on what the lady needs, I'm supposed to believe that she wants you?"

"No, Johnny boy..I want her. Something you never seemed to be able to commit to with your obsessions with the teen queen!" Todd said smiling.

John took a step toward Todd and Evangeline moved in front of him. "Back off John! You don't tell me what to do in my own damn home!" she hissed

Todd stood behind her smirking, touching the strand of her hair so lightly she didn't notice but Layla and John did. Their distrust of his motives was proven by his obvious glee at the melee he caused.

Evangeline looked over to her sister "I said go to work, I can handle myself!"

Layla shook her head sadly, then turned to John. "Get him out of our place, please" she said then looked at Evangeline "I know you think that you two have some kind of bond Vangie, but please remember that those that love you are standing on this side of the room."

The words echoed through the now silent apartment that was charged with tension. Layla sighed then turned to get her things before heading for the door. John didn't even watch her leave he stared at Evangeline with a wounded look on his face.

"You can leave now too John.." Evangeline said standing her ground.

"Are you going to tell me that you will move that animal in with you!"

"I'm telling you that, you have no say in who stays or goes in my place. Whatever I decide to do with Todd is none of your concern."

"I need to talk to you Van, I'm not leaving until we do." He said looking back at Todd and clenching his jaw. He looked back over to Evangeline with love. "I love you dammit and I won't let you push me away, because my love scares you."

Todd burst into laughter stepping from around her "Scares her? Boy you really haven't been listening. She's not afraid..she's over it. She's on to you McBain, your free pass into her heart expired, when you became an adulterer, rubbing her face in it."

"Todd! Stop it now!" Evangeline shouted turning on him "I mean it! I can handle this by myself and your taunts aren't helping."

Todd blinked at her somewhat hurt by her outburst. "I'm sorry princess."

"Can you excuse us please.I'd rather talk to John alone."

Todd went and touched her hand "I don't want to leave you alone with him, he'll just try to manipulate this and make you feel bad about our friendship."

John saw him touching her and lost it. He moved swiftly, shoving Todd away from Evangeline with so much force he almost knocked the crutch from under her arm "Don't you ever put your hands on her!" he growled as Todd stumbled back.

"John!" Evangeline gasped at his jealous outburst.

Todd glared and shoved John back with just as much force "Come on McBain, take your best shot, I'm not some junkie for you to shoot down. You push I push back!"

"Stop it now!" Evangeline screamed at them both, giving them pause. She had enough of the testosterone in front of her. She wasn't going to get anything accomplished as long as they remained. Turning she looked at Todd. "How's Blaire and the kids.really.."

Todd frowned "I have a guard on them."
She smiled "Todd, Margaret is loose.do you really think leaving them now is such a good idea?"
"I plan to get Starr and Jack everyday.."
"And what? Bring them here?" she asked
Todd looked at her "I can't be around Blaire now, and I know you can't be around him! We can help each other.figure it all out" Todd said touching her cheek.

John watched them clinching his fists trying to restrain himself. He'd never seen another man touch her. He barely saw her and RJ together before they hooked up. The sight of her allowing Todd's touch made his stomach clench with knots.

Evangeline touched Todd's hand "I love you for being the friend I need. But I'm my own person, neither you or John can control me. Now I need you to do the right thing and see about your family. Then together we'll take care of the rest of the charges if any are lingering against you. You know you are only here because you're hurt."

Todd sighed "That may be true, and it's killing me that Starr and Jack need me now and I'm not there, but I learned some things Evangeline. You taught me some things."

"What?" she asked confused.

"I learned that it's the goodness in people you should hold on to. My relationship with Blaire is rooted in pain, we've done so much to each other. At first I didn't even blame her for not believing in me. But my time with you, at my side fighting for our lives, changed all that. I saw it in you. You never gave up on me. That is the type of devotion that he'll never understand. It the devotion I want in return, when I share myself with someone." Todd said looking over at John.

"Don't pretend to know me Manning, on my worst day I am nothing like you!" John snapped.

Evangeline took Todd's hand "Go home, don't run away. Remember we agreed that we would fight. You give up on your family now and cling to something that you've romanticized will only make things worse."

Todd inhaled deeply and let go a slow breath. "It's over with me and Blaire, but I do need to make sure Starr and Jack are okay."

"No guard can protect them like you can." She said smiling
"I'll be back, maybe take you to dinner?" he said smiling at her and then glancing up slyly at John.

Evangeline nodded "We'll see, call me later. I need to contact the ADA to find out what is the standing on your case. He has you walking around town free so that has to be good"

Todd nodded and kissed her forehead. Letting go of her hand he knelt and picked up his suitcases. John slipped his hands in his pockets and stared at him angrily. Todd walked over to him smiling "Care to follow me out? The lady sure as hell won't be asking you to stay."

John cut his eyes "Get out of my face."
Todd looked back at Evangeline, "I'm going to check into the Palace first, then I'll check on the kids. You call me if you need me..promise."

"I promise"

Todd nodded and headed out the door.

John watched Evangeline as she moved back to the lavender sofa to sit down. Placing her crutches on the side she shook her head causing her long locks to fall in her face. "John you can go as well"

"I came to take you to Nora."
Evangeline looked up shocked "Nora! Is she okay?"
"She's home today and I'd thought you'd like to see her" he said smiling

Evangeline nodded "Oh yes.I would"

Before she could rise John sat on the long lounge cushioned bench to the side of the sofa in front of her. "Can you tell me what's going on with you? Give me some clue as to why you look at me with such detachment...have I really lost you?" he asked his voice cracking

Evangeline lowered her face "I explained this to you when you brought me home..what else do you want me to say?"

"You also kissed me.I was here remember. That kiss wasn't a goodbye kiss."
"That kiss shouldn't have happened, I was weak."
"Weak? You aren't weak, That word shouldn't be in your vocabulary."
"Then what the hell do you call it!" she snapped looking up at him with tears in her eyes.
"I call it love.you love me."
"John here's a news flash..I loved you all along, it never made a difference to you then, why should it now?"

"Because I'm learning myself..because then when you loved me I was a broken man, who didn't love himself. I'm fighting to get back to you, to get back what he had"

"What we had was you taking and me giving."
"That's not fair."
"I tried to change you" she said wiping her eyes "I just couldn't believe that you were this man you are. My nana told me once When a man shows you who he really is, BELIEVE him. You showed me that you were a man that didn't want love, and I convinced myself otherwise. I was a fool."

"NO...that's not true..You saved me. I may not have wanted your love, but I found out when I almost lost it your love is all I ever wanted. I want to give it back to you in return."

"You did loose it" she said sitting back pulling her hand from his.
John stared at her his heart breaking "Don't say that, don't ever say that!"

"It's true, I no longer believe in us."
"Well belief and faith are the same things and I know that's it's my actions that will restore both. I just can't have you closing doors and not giving me a chance."

"Its too hard and I'm tired of being selfless in this. I need to protect me."

"Something happened between you two.I see it when you're together" he said bitterly in reference to Todd.

Evangeline looked up at him angrily "Don't you dare accuse me of sleeping with him again!" she snapped

John sat up straight and shook his head sadly "I wish you had, sleeping with him I can deal with. Hell I wouldn't like it, but I'd survive it after all I've done to you. What I see now scares the life out of me."

"What is it that you think you see?"
"Intimacy..you're intimate somehow. He's seen a part of you that I haven't. I'm right aren't I?"

"You never tried to know everything about me." she said looking away. She shared her deepest pain with Todd. She'd never told anyone about her father and her fears of failing people. Her fears about love.

"Then that's where I'll start"
"Start what?" she said aggravated.
"That's where I'll start to get your faith back, I'll get to know you, not the iconic woman I've made you into, but all of you."

"John please.why can't you just let this go." she asked shaking her head.
"I did that once Vangie, I let go and it destroyed the best thing that ever happened to either one of us. I may not have you now, but I won't let it be because when I decided to fight, I let go. I won't let you slip away from me like that again."

Before she could speak the phone rang. They both looked over at it as if it was the third person in the room. John rose to get the phone passing it to her. She smiled weakly before answering.

"Hello"
"Hey sweetie" Nora said in a soft voice.
"Hey you..John's here and he said they brought you home."
"Yeah, I'm home and I need to see you"
"Something wrong?" Evangeline asked looking at John frowning.

"You've been on my mind heavily after I saw you in the hospital. I just need to talk to you..plus, I'd rather your company as oppose to this nurse that Bo has positioned over me."

"Sure thing, I'll get dressed and pack an overnight bag. We'll make it a night" she said smiling
"I'd like that"
"See you soon"
"Bye"

Evangeline clicked the phone off and looked to John "Guess I will need that ride after all" she said reaching for her crutches and struggling to rise. John helped her to her feet and she flinched from the contact. Her stiffening instead of softening from his touch hurt him. She looked up at him shyly "I just need to change."

"Can I help!" he asked quickly before realizing how inappropriate it was.
She frowned at him. "No, I think I can manage"

"Of course.." he said moving out of her way.
She headed to her room then looked back at him "I can't stop you from making changes in your life John. I really do want you to be all that you should be. I will say that what you saw in me and Todd is genuine, he's my friend and I won't let go of his support in place of your empty promises."

John sighed and nodded "I won't let him hurt you"

"And I won't let you hurt me" she shot back before turning and going to her room.

John shook his head in frustration "Manning..you won't use her. I'll stop you and prove to her that our love is real.." he mumbled to himself.

He knew that she was scarred from the kidnapping, his inability to love her back and now plane crash, but he now knew that some of her scars went further than that. Since he was in the process of his own self healing, he decided to become more vested in hers.

Mavis, was in her late sixties. She spent most of her days in front of the TV watching her soaps and doing cross road puzzles. The only living relative she had in Llanview was her hot tempered nephew Hector.

He visited regularly and paid her utilities. To her he was a good boy, but she'd bailed him out a couple of times to know that he wasn't as angelic as she hoped. Earlier today she got a call from him, he said he needed a favor and she had to come through. Mavis didn't know what on earth that favor could be?

"Look I just can't leave TJ with some old woman that you claim is okay!" Margaret hissed in a hush voice to avoid drawing attention to herself.

Hector looked at her "My auntie is cool, and every news station in this town is broadcasting your face. You asked for my help and this is the only place you can leave him safe so you can get the money you promised me!" he snapped back

Margaret glared at him and then smiled evilly "Are you toying with me?"
"Of course not! You contacted me!" Hector said confused by the way she flipped in and out.

"That's right, I did. But if this is some kind of trap I promise you I'll make you pay!"

Hector shook his head. If he hadn't have helped this crazy broad in the past to a substantial financial gain, he'd turn her ass in just because she creeped him out. "Look, if you have a better idea on what to do with your kid, let me know. I don't need this!"

Margaret looked at TJ sleeping her arms then up at the door to the apartment of a woman she didn't know. "It will take me 72 hours at best.and she better be on the up and up for both your sakes"

"Fine" he said going to the door and unlocking it. Mavis looked up from her soaps to see her nephew with a woman wearing shades and shoulder length black hair. The woman was holding an infant and a baby bag.

"Mijho, what is this?" Mavis asked standing up.

"Hola tiíta, I'd like to introduce you to Senora Manning and her little niño TJ."
Mavis nodded and extended her hand. Margaret just stared at her through her dark shades refusing it.

Hector touched his aunt back affectionately. "I need a favor tiíta"
"Of course Hector, anything for you mijho"
"Can you watch the baby for a couple of days?" he asked smiling
Mavis frowned "Watch him?"

Margaret sucked her teeth "Maybe this wasn't a good idea."
Hector went to stop her, she had promised him $50,000.00. He wanted that money. "Wait, please.my aunt can help. Please." he said stopping her.
Mavis stared at the both of them. Something about the woman was unsettling and she couldn't figure out why. Part of it was her wearing shades during a snowstorm, the other part was the menacing way she felt her staring at her from behind them.

Margaret turned and smiled slyly "Mavis, let me explain to you how important it is that you take care of my TJ" she said in a menacing tone that let Mavis know right away her suspicions were right.

Christian walked into Rhodi's with his hands in his pocket. He saw Evangeline earlier and was glad she was okay. Spending the rest of the day painting he decided to weather the snow storm and get a beer. Looking over to the bar he saw his ex wife cradling hers. She looked to be lost and part of him felt lost with her.

Staring for awhile he contemplated leaving, he wasn't up for another sparring match with her. When she came to his place for comfort he threw her out so quick he barely processed it. Now she sat alone mourning the lost of a love that was never hers in the first place. He hated McBain for reducing her to this. He hated her for letting him.

"Hey, how you doing Chris?" Layla asked walking up.

Christian looked over at her surprised "Hey yourself, what are you doing here? I heard you worked in the Buchanan Corporate Palace downtown"

She laughed and stared into his penetrating almond colored eyes "Yeah I do, but I'm on a shoe string budget, me and some folks from work decided to meet over here, since they are sending everyone home early from work because of the storm."

"Why didn't you go home?"
"I did, but it got a little crowded. Called some friends for a drink. Want to join us? They are pretty cool.." She said smiling

Christian looked back over at Natalie "Yeah maybe."

Layla looked over to see where he was staring "Please don't tell me you are going to go over there.." She said sucking her teeth. Christian was to fine to be wasted on her.

"Save a spot for me, I'll join you soon." he said smiling and walking away. Layla watched him make his way over to Natalie. Shaking her head she rolled her eyes "A waste." she mumbled returning to her friends.

Natalie ate some of the peanuts from the round brown little bowl on the bar. She didn't notice the guy leaning in on the side of her and didn't care. It was beginning to dawn on her how big of a joke her life had become. The man she had all but turned herself inside out for now clearly wants another. The husband she cast aside is also chasing the woman she hated the most in this world. The irony of her loss in choices was not wasted on her.

"Care to share those?" Christian asked pointing at the peanuts.
Natalie looked over at him "what are you doing here?" she asked bitterly
"I guess I could ask you the same question, but I pretty much have your answer committed to memory, John. Am I right?"

"Please, just leave me alone" she said turning up her beer and drinking it down. It was her third and she was becoming numb.
"Let me ask you something" he said sitting down on the stool staring at her.
"Couldn't stop you if I wanted too"
"Guess not" he chuckled "Do you wish I stayed gone, honestly. That I never returned the first time..that I'd died in that van when it went into the river"

Natalie looked at him hurt "God no. Do you think me capable of that?"
"I don't know who you are anymore. For me our love was timeless, but you fell in love with the man that was responsible for my supposed death. How is that possible?"

"John never meant."
"Doesn't matter! You saw the setup and what happened. Was I that wrong about us?"

Natalie dropped her head "Christian, I can't explain my heart to you."

"You know I loved you Natalie, and I've loved you for so long that you were apart of me. But the woman that I loved was strong and knew who she was. You have turned into something unrecognizable. I no longer long for you the way I did. I can't, I don't know who you are anymore." he said rising from the stool.

Natalie grabbed his arm "Listen to me. Inside I am that woman, and yes I miss her too. I need you to give me a chance to find her again. I need to find my way out of what I've become."

Christian nodded "I hope you do find her for your sake, as for your chances..well I'd say you're fresh out" he said turning and walking away, his heart breaking at finally closing the door on something he longed for, for so long. Evangeline was right, he was a man before her and he'd be one after her.

Layla smiling with her friends looking up in time to see Christian leave the bar, she then looked at Natalie who sat at the bar crying.

Smiling she drank her beer "Couldn't have happened to a nicer chick."

Blair sat in their barely lit penthouse nursing her gin and tonic. Todd had two guards stationed outside of her door and one living with them full time. He thought that was enough when in actuality the only thing that would make them safe was to have him home.

The door lock clicked and guard sitting in front of it rose sticking his hand in his jacket pocket. Todd opened the door, to both their surprises. Blair stood up smiling, a sense of relief washed over her at his reappearance. Todd closed the door and looked at the guard "Any trouble?"
"None, sir"
"Good" he said walking in. Blaire came over to him wearing jeans and a green sequined tank top, she tossed her blonde curls and smiled at him bashfully. He stared at her with a disenchanted look on his face. It broke her heart

"Where are Starr and Jack?" he asked dropping his key on the desk to the left of him.
"One of your henchmen went to go pick them up from school." She said coming over "I'm glad to see you"

"I need to be here when they get home, to let them know that it's going to be okay"
"So you're staying?" she asked excitedly
"No, I'm at the Palace. I will be coming over frequently to see about them."
"What about me? The mother of your children and the love of your life." she asked walking toward him. He stared at her unmovable. Blaire took that as an opening and went for it. "Todd, we need to talk, this is silly. Its time to get our life back."

"You mean, the life you gave up when Dr. Frankenstein took you to bed?"
Blaire put her hand to her forehead "I can't make that up to you if you won't let me."

"Well, then we do have a problem, because I have no intention of letting you!" he snapped going to the bar.

"Don't you stand there and pretend that you haven't done things, cruel and unforgivable things to me in the past. In spite of it all we have always found our way back to each other."

Todd laughed "Well I will admit that I'm no paragon of virtue, and we have our equal share of pain between us. But you know what I am?" he asked turning around to look at her.

Folding her arms across her chest she shrugged. "No, tell me."

"I'm devoted. I have always been devoted to you. Funny thing is I thought you were the same way. But when I was facing death and needed devotion, you showed your hand. You let another woman stand in your place and fight at my side. Now I know what faith and devotion is, and I know I can never have that with you!"

Blair burst into tears. Putting both hands to her face she cried in them destroyed by his words, because she saw the truth in them. She failed him miserably. The guard at the door looked away embarrassed by the whole scene in front of him. He didn't understand what was wrong with the couple but he knew that Mr. Manning's cold behavior was destroying his fiancé. It was hard to watch.

Todd swallowed at her tears. His hand shook as he lifted his glass to his lips drinking his whiskey. It took everything in him not to comfort her, seeing her this way reminded him that he loved her so.

Thinking of Evangeline lying in his arms shivering telling him of how she just wanted to do right by people, his resistance of the love he once shared with his ex-wife grew. He wanted out, and he was determined to escape her.

Nora looked up from the sofa, as the nurse home with her, opened the door. Evangeline came in on crutches with John carrying her bag. She looked over to Nora smiling and Nora felt a sense of relief to see them together.

She couldn't rise to greet them, still confined to a wheel chair. The coma had her partially paralyzed and she would need physical therapy to recover the feelings in her legs.

"Looks like you handle those things well" she said smiling as Evangeline leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I'm getting the hang of them" she said letting them go to sit on the sofa. John brought the bag in and laid it next to the lounge chair, before taking a seat. "How are you Nora?"

"Better, John. Thank you for bringing her"

He looked over to Evangeline who avoided his eyes. He tried talking to her on the ride to Nora's, but she had shut him out She was no longer willing to debate their love and he was desperate to reach her. "You know there isn't anything I wouldn't do for our girl" he said smiling

Evangeline ignored him leaning over to touch her hand "Is Mathew here?"

"He and Bo just left. I miss him already, he grew some Van.." She said her voice cracking

Evangeline rubbed her hand "Its okay sweetie"
She nodded "Its scary, time stood still for me, but so much has changed." She then looked over at John smiling "Then again the love you two share seems to be as strong as ever, and once again you both are fighting it."

Evangeline frowned and John winked at Nora grateful for the endorsement. He figured leaving her here for the night was actually the best thing. Not only did it put her out of Manning's reach, but she got to be with someone who knew how much he loved her. "Well I think I will go now" he said rising

Nora shook her head "Do you have too?"
"Yeah.I need to get back to the station. I have another session with Dr. C."
"Dr. who?"

Evangeline avoided his eyes "Long story, I'll fill you in."

John went to Nora and kissed her cheek. "See you again soon"
He then looked at Evangeline "I guess a kiss is too much to ask?"
Evangeline shot him a mean scowl and he chuckled "Call me if you need anything, including a ride home."

"I won't need anything, but thank you" she said coolly
He smiled weakly "Thought you might say that" he said turning to leave.

Nora watched the exchange, narrowing her eyes on her friend. John said another goodbye heading out the door. "Okay we need to talk"

"Not about him!" Evangeline snapped immediately regretting it.

Nora smiled "Oh sweetie, this talk is all about you."

Margaret drove on the interstate checking her rearview mirror for cops. She was sick to her stomach about leaving TJ. She would have to find Todd and soon so they could get out this damn town. Figuring Todd had a fortress around him and Blaire, she had to put plan B into motion. She knew exactly who to go too to get the help she needed.

John walked into the station looking down at his watch. He had another session with the doctor in 20 minutes and he figured he'd catch up on some paperwork before they met. Walking with his head down he ran directly into Natalie.

"Sorry."
"Excuse me.."
John looked at her and saw she'd been crying, she smelled of beer. "Hey you okay?"
"No and we need to talk" she said her speech somewhat slurred
"Natalie I really can't do this with you"
"John, listen it's not a ploy to get you back. I want my life back, the place to start is with you. So can we talk or not!" she shouted at him her eyes tearing again.

John saw several officers stopping to stare. Shaking his head and blowing out a defeated breath he nodded on." He said heading to his office. The sooner he finished this with her the better.

Dr. Crosby standing off to the side watched the confrontation. He heard the outburst from Natalie and saw the missing link he needed to further understand McBain.

"So you want one woman, but find it hard to let go of another. There has to be a reason behind that. I think its time figure out what it is" he thought to himself sticking his hands in his pockets. He was really looking forward to this next session.

Paige took off her jacket going through the mail. The storm was creating a nightmare at the hospital. She'd been on call for 72 hours straight. Coming home was a welcomed relief. She even cancelled on Bo, for the needed time and space. Hearing something to her right she jumped. A woman came out of the shadows in all black with dark shades. Paige looked at her confused. "Who the hell are you?"

Margaret took off her shades and tossed her thick black mane. "Hello Dr. Miller.are you happy to see me?" she asked smiling devilishly at her..

Back to Index

Chapter 10: Lost Souls

John stood against his desk with his hands on his hips as Natalie slowly closed the door and turned to look at him, "What you said in the hospital was that true?" she asked with staring straight ahead at John, her eyes focused solely on him.

John shook his head and ran a hand over his tired face. For once in his life he knew what he wanted and it wasn't standing in front of him. She was back at Nora's talking with her, hoping that Nora could talk some sense into her and make her see that he was changing for her. "Natalie please… I can't do this with you."
She looked up at him her bottom lip and chin quiver tears glistening in her eyes, "All I wanted from you was love John." She said softly.

John stood and took a step to her and then restrained himself. This wasn't the way to handle her. "Natalie… yes, what I said in the hospital was true. I love her."
"But… we've been through so much, Haver, Hayes, Walker Lawrence how can you stand there and tell me that you don't love me."
"I never said that, I said I'm not in love with you. I will always care about you Natalie; we're friends."
"I can't just be your friend John." She said reaching out to touch his face. John turned his head and Natalie sucked in a breath at his rebuff of her advances, "Please Natalie. I was there for you when Cris died because I felt guilty, I thought… I thought it was more than that."
"It is!" She snapped, "We have this thing…" she said motioning between them, "This connection I know it John. You're a part of me, that's why you save me, you love me…." She said walking closer to him.

John stood there in shock at her saying all this. She said it wasn't a ploy to get him back but she was playing games. Why didn't he just say no he couldn't talk and leave it at that? She claimed she was just trying to get her life back, shaking his head he stared at the girl in front of him, lying again to get her way.

John shook his head and then lowered his gaze from hers, "Natalie it isn't what you think. I don't get it myself, but I just can't do this now or ever. It isn't healthy."
"Healthy! I don't understand."
"I'm a screwed up guy Natalie, and you know that, but I'm getting help."

Natalie narrowed her eyes at John, "She talked you into this didn't she!" she snapped, "Trying to change you! Why doesn't she just see that you're fine the way you are, I love this John."
"I don't…" he mumbled, "This isn't who I am."
"Yes it is! You are a police officer you save people, you save me."
"I'm more than just a cop Natalie, at least I want to be more than that. Evangeline sees that in me."
"The hell she does John! She just wants you to be someone she can parade around on her arm show off to her family and friends. Like some damn project."
"Stop it! Stop it now!" He snapped, "Like I said all those months ago you know nothing about Evangeline, you know nothing about Evangeline and I! So stop insinuating that you do." John growled.
"Oh please, I know all about her high and mightiness. She comes into this town prancing around in her designer clothes, waving her fancy degree around and you fall at her feet like she's some damn Goddess or something."

John smiled a weary smile and looked up at her, "I get it… I finally get it." He said laughing to himself.
"What!" Natalie snapped getting angry her face bright red from the beer and her confrontation with John.
"You're jealous…" he said laughing.
"The hell I am! She can't compare to me and you know it. You're just running from your feelings for me, running back to her bed."
"I'm done with this conversation. I honestly thought that we could talk as adults, but I'm sorely mistaken. Natalie what you thought we had wasn't. You are right I was running from my feelings." He said walking past her to the door, "But not my feelings for you, my feelings for Evangeline. I'm going to tell you this for the last time. I'm in love with Evangeline and nothing you do will change that." He said sadly.

"The hell it wont!" she snapped grabbing his arm and spinning him around. She pulled John into her chest and opened her mouth and planted it over his. Forcing her tongue down his throat she grabbed the back of his head and held him in the kiss.

Evangeline raised an eyebrow and looked at Nora with a curious grin, "Me? What about me?"
"I want you to promise me something Evangeline, I mean absolutely swear to me this one thing before we talk and get back what we've missed out over the past months.
Evangeline reached out and held Nora's hand with her good hand, "What anything…" she said nervously.
"That you will not only be completely honest with me about some things I have to ask you but honest with yourself. I can see the pain in your eyes something is eating away at you and until you can face it, and really open up about all the pain then you can't heal. So honesty is the name of the game today okay?"

Evangeline pulled back and let out a deep sigh, "Okay… I think I can do that. "She said smiling slightly at her.
"Good, how are you really? I mean physically, not emotionally."
"I'm okay, still banged and bruised and stuff they gave me some medicine for my foot and wrist, but I don't need them as much as I first thought I would."
"Okay good… I can't be worrying about your physically health when your heart is in what a million confused pieces right now I'm assuming."
"I've missed you so much!" Evangeline said laughing softly.
"I'm sure you have. Okay well we know your body is okay for the time being how about that heart of yours?"

Evangeline raised her hand and placed it softly over her chest and smiled faintly at Nora, "You're right still in a million pieces. I can't do it Nora…" she mumbled holding back tears.
"Do what hun?"
"Let him go, I know I deserve better I know I need better but there is this pull that he still has over me after all these months. Even after he was with her, he still gets to me." She said as tear fell down her cheeks.
"It's not easy to get over the love of your life Van."
Evangeline shook her head, "I thought he was, I really thought he was the one Nora, but now I know he's not. He can't be… how can he love me when he doesn't even love himself?"
"I don't know about John and I'm not going to claim to know about him. Like I said I want to talk about you sweetie and how you are handling everything. I've been gone a long time and you haven't had anyone to talk to about all this."
"Oh I had Cris and Layla to talk about it."
"Cris! What!"
"Oh that's right you've haven't been around. Apparently the man that came back and we all thought was an imposter turned out to be the real Cris Vega and John knew the whole time. I worked to get him out of jail, now he's free and living the life that was robbed from him."
"With Natalie?"
Evangeline shook her head no, "She divorced him…"
"Wow… I really have been out of it, so you say Cris has been helping you get over John."

Evangeline fell back on the couch and pulled her good leg up to her chest, "He tried, we've had fun times and stuff, but no… I can't get over John no matter how hard I try."
"That should tell you something sweetie."
"How can I be with him, I don't even know him and he doesn't even know me. I mean I told Todd more about myself in those short days we were together than I've ever told John."
"Todd, I see… well you two were in a life or death situation unsure if you would survive. Of course you two would become close, but that doesn't negate your feelings for John."
"Oh no! I never said that. It's just that Todd took an interest in me, in what makes me, me… John never did that."

Nora smiled and blew out a slow breath and shifted in her wheelchair as she looked over her friend. It had been months upon months that they've been separated and she had changed so much. The strong determined woman that she knew still sat in front of her but now that exterior was cracking and the vulnerability was showing through. Was this all of Todd Manning's doing, or was some thing else at play. "He told you right?"
"Yeah… like I said in the hospital it's not enough. It will never be enough. I deserve more, I deserve unconditional love and support, I deserve to be put first in his life if he truly loved me and as long as Natalie is around that will never be the case."

"Okay say he cuts off ties with Natalie, then what?"
"He still has issues that prevent him from opening up to him."
"We could say the same about you counselor."
"Objection, relevance."
"Overruled…" Evangeline blew out a frustrated breath and let Nora make her point, "All I'm saying is that you want John to open up to you… to share what keeps him that dark and brooding man yet you won't do the same."
Evangeline looked away from her friend biting her lower lip. Nora had a point, she never shared with John the things she shared with Todd. "You kept him a bay just like he did to you. You both are guilty of closing off from one another."
"I tried!" Evangeline snapped.

"No you didn't! The man risked life and limb for you, said those three words that you longed to hear, and from the looks of things is trying to win you back, but you don't believe it. You don't trust him…"
"I can't Nora! After all the crap he did to me. You honestly expect me to just fall back in line with him like nothing changed?" she said angrily.
"No, and I never said that, but I know you Evangeline. You're not the type to walk away from a fight. John's fighting to get you back, he's fighting to show you that you're love that deep down love that you yourself have admitted you can't get over is enough to start with. It's enough to work through to build a connection, a foundation that could make you two the most powerful couple ever yet you run and hide from it. You two are more alike then either of you know." Nora said laughing.
"We are not!" Evangeline said narrowing her eyes into tiny slits.

Todd set the glass back on the bar and stared at Blair as she cried in her hands and stumbled backwards to the couch. Falling down she looked up at Todd who stood stoic over her, "I love you Manning, nothing or no one can change that. Why can't you just forgive me so we can be a family again?"

Todd shook his head and smiled weakly at her, "I want out Blair… I can't do this any more. You don't know what love his, hell I'm not even sure I know what love is."
"You do too!" She snapped getting angry now, "You love me, you love our kids. Everything we do to each other and for each other is because we love each other. We are loyal to a T- Todd Manning!" she said yelling at him.
"Oh I know all about loyalty Blair and it's not a trait that you possess. Evangeline now on the other hand, she is loyal to a T."
"I'm sick of hearing about Evangeline. Evangeline this, Evangeline that! She wasn't always there for you Todd, not like I am and not like I will always be."
"You there for me are you kidding me. You jumped into bed with Spencer the moment you found out that I was going to death row. I'm sick of rehashing this. I just came to see about Starr and Jack. We are done Blair, there isn't anything you can say or do to change that."

"We are meant to be Todd and you know that!" she said heated grabbing at his arm.
"Stop." Todd said shaking free, "We used to be Blair, but now… I don't know. I can't say that I can ever trust you again, that I can believe in us again."
"I'll prove to you that we are supposed to be together Manning, I'll fight."
Todd laughed as he drank the last of his drink, "So now you want to fight. When it suits you that's when you'll fight huh?"
"That's not what I'm doing Todd and you know it! We are a family and there is no way in hell I'm letting you walk out on this family for some alleged feelings you have for Evangeline. Damn it Manning she was paid to belief in you nothing more nothing less!" she screamed.

Todd smiled and shook his head, "Fight all you want Blair but it's not going to work. I'm going to find a place to stay and Starr and Jack are going to come stay with me. What we have is over." He said sadly.
"The hell they are! You're not taking my kids from me Todd. I'll fight, be prepared to fall back in love with me Manning." She grinned and then turned to run up the stairs.
Turning around she stared at him, "You can't honestly say in your heart that you don't love me. Think about it Todd. We've been through hell and back to be together, and you're just going to through it all away like that!"

Todd shook his head and looked over at the guard and raised his eyebrows as he poured himself another drink, "Women…"

"Excuse me…" Dr. Crosby said standing in the middle of John's office, "I didn't mean to interrupt."
John forced Natalie off of him and glared at her as he wiped his mouth, "Don't you ever…" he hissed leaning in to her
"I was just coming to see if we were still on for our afternoon appointment McBain, but I see you're busy,"
"No!" John said quickly, "Let's go." He walked after Dr. Crosby leaving Natalie still in his office dumbstruck that he left her yet again. Turning she grabbed the door and stormed out of the office her read hair swishing back along her back.

Dr. Crosby closed the door behind John as he took a seat and continued to wipe at his lips, "Sorry about that…"
"Don't be…" John mumbled looking up at him.
"Can I ask what that was about?"
"You can ask but that doesn't mean I'm going to answer."
"McBain, drop the damn wall. We were making progress what happened?"
"That!" he said pointing to the door indicating he was talking about Natalie, "And Manning." John seethed.
"Todd?"
"Yes."
"What about him?"
"He's moving in on Evangeline. I'm…" he lowered his head into his hands.
"You're what? Worried that he's going to hurt her, take your place in her heart?"
"Yes… I think he already did." He said looking up at Dr. Crosby with tired eyes.

"What makes you think something like that?" He asked writing on a legal pad.
John shifted in his chair and leaned back in it, "She's been intimate with him." He said softly.
"Evangeline?"
"Yes…"
"Slept with Todd."
"NO!" John snapped, "She shared her life with him, her fears…"
"I don't understand what the problem is. You spent a year with her correct?"
"Yes."
"And I assumed that you both opened up and shared with each other her more likely than you."
"No."
"Okay… well now we have a place to start." Dr. Crosby said smiling and leaning back in his seat.

"A place to start?" John questioned looking at him with an inquisitive look on his face.
"Yeah a place to start, you need to open up with me, with her, with yourself and let it all go. I'm assuming this closed off behavior started with your fathers death?" Dr. Crosby asked.
John looked up at him and frowned, "Yes."
"Good, well let's start there, you were ten right?"
"Yes."
"How did he die?"
"He was shot and when they took him to the emergency room for surgery one of the doctors didn't know what they were doing and he died on the table."
"How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know…" John mumbled.
"You have to have some feeling about it John. I'm guessing your father wouldn't have died if it wasn't for that surgeon?"
John stared at the floor and then looked up at Dr. Crosby and let his eyes close as he blew out a soft sigh, "He wouldn't have died if I would have listened to him."
"I don't understand?"
"It was my fault all of it was my fault." He said with a shaky voice.

"We are not alike Nora and I resent that statement." Evangeline said glaring at Nora.
Nora smiled and reached out to touch her hand, "It's okay for you to admit something like that really it is. I mean it's not necessarily a bad thing Van."
"It is! I don't hide my feelings, I don't run from them."
"What do you call what you have with Todd, a convicted Rapists and murderer?"
"He didn't do it! The murder at least, Margaret is still alive."
"Okay fine… but he's done the other things and you are opening up to him, when you should be doing that with John."

"What is this thing with you and John? I mean not only you have changed your opnion of him but so has Layla and Cris. You three were adamant that I get over the man, now you're playing his champion!"
"I saw the way he reacted to your disappearance and supposed death. He was lost with out you."
"So! I mean we haven't been together since before you got sick. You were the one that told me I needed to get over him. Cris hates the man for what he did to Natalie, and Layla hated the way he treated me."
"True, but I've seen a change in him. He's working Evangeline he's working so hard. You need to give him a chance. Share with him your fears, your passions, your desires and everything in between." She said honestly.

"No…" she mumbled shaking her head, "It's not that easy. Some of the first words out of his mouth were I love you! I mean after all this time, all the crap he put me through he just opens up and says I love you Evangeline!"
"Yeah and…"
"And I can't handle it, I can't handle what loving him does to me Nora. It's all consuming yet I get nothing in return."
"You do now… right?"
"No I don't! He's still hiding from me, running from whatever it is that kept him locked in darkness for all those years."
"He's working on it."
"No…"
"Dr. C?" Nora asked with a raised eyebrow. "Tell me about him."
"The LPD's shrink. Bo made him go see this guy because of everything that happened to him, the KCM, the Music box murders, his dad, Caitlyn all of it not to mention that John shot a guy and killed him while the guy held Michael hostage."
"Oh god! Is Michael okay?"

"He's fine…" Evangeline said faking a smile, "In shock but fine now… It hit John really hard, I mean he lost his gun and badge because of it."
"Wow Van hun… so now he's seeing this Dr. C to get his job back?"
Evangeline smiled and shook his head, "No he has his gun and badge back, he was supposed to be on the plane too Nora. I honestly don't know why he's seeing Dr. Crosby."
Nora laughed and rolled her eyes, "For being one of the most smartest woman I know you sure are slow at times. He's doing it for you Evangeline! For you! TO get you back damn…"
"No he's not." Evangeline mumbled staring down at the ground.
"Why can't you believe that he would do something so drastic to get you back?"
Evangeline laughed throwing her head back and then looked over at Nora with a you've got to be kidding me look "You're not serious Nora! You've known John longer than I have. The man does not do grand gestures of anything. He's subtle."
"So he's subtly working his way back into your heart, making you see that he loves you with everything right?"
"No… I don't know why he's seeing Dr. Crosby but it's not because of me, or him for that matter."

"Okay step out of the box here for a minute Evangeline. What if he is, what if he is doing all of this for you. Learning to open up so that he can be the man that you deserve?"
Evangeline looked away holding her breath and then turned back to back to her friend. "He wouldn't… would he?" she said staring at Nora.
"He would and I bet you anything he is. He loves you hun and he's going to show you."
Evangeline let off a light laugh and shook her head, "You hungry? I'm hungry."
"Oh nice change of subject…" Nora said rolling her eyes as Evangeline hobbled on her crutches to the kitchen, "This isn't going to change the topic at hand! We still have to talk about what's keeping you from opening up from John!" Nora called.
"Whatever!"

Dr. Crosby sat his pen down and looked at John shaking his head, "It's not your fault John."
"It is, if it wasn't for me he would still be live."
"No if it wasn't for that doctor that operated on your father for the man that shot your father, he would still be alive. I don't understand where this is coming from McBain."
"I know what happened that night, and it's my fault. It's always my fault. From my dad's death to Caitlyn's death and everything that happened with Natalie, and why Evangeline left me."

Dr. Crosby stood up and walked around his desk and sat in the chair across from John, "Speaking of Natalie, I want to address that subject."
"I thought we were talking about my dad."
"We are, your sense of loss around your father and your fiancé is why you do the things you do. Why you claim to love one woman yet you can't let go of Natalie. What is it she means to you?"
"She's a friend or so I thought she was a friend."
"What makes you say that, you were with her right?"
"Can we please talk about something other than Natalie?" John asked exasperated.
"No we can't! We are talking about Natalie now, you feel guilty and responsible for her I see that. But Cris is back yes?"
"Yes…" John mumbled.
"Well, what's the problem? I don't get it… you want Evangeline you have admitted that to me, to her and to Natalie I assume, so why do you feel the need to keep up this thing with her."
"I care about her damnit!" John snapped.
"So you care, but are you in love with her?"
"NO! I'm in love with Evangeline I've told you that! Damn it…" he said pacing back and forth, "I've tried to end things with Natalie she just won't get the hint that it's Evangeline that I want. No matter what I do she is there in my face."

Dr. Crosby laughed and stared at John as he walked back and forth, "I see that… but you play into it. I saw you two earlier… you knew that we had a meeting yet you still gave her the time to plead her case again. Let her go John, move on man."
"I'm trying! You don't know how hard I've tried to. I tell her that I want Evangeline, that there is nothing between us yet she is still in my face!" John snapped.

"Well then… sounds like she needs to be seeing me as well." Dr. Crosby laughed.
John smirked and sat back down, "You know I see my dad."
"What do you mean you see him?"
"He comes to me, we talk… "
"About what?"
"Letting go, changing, living everything really."
"How often John?"
"Every once in a while, he's always there when I need him. I don't know he just shows up."
"Where?"
"At the gym, in my office… where ever."
"Okay John… so you see your dad and he's telling you to let go and move on, why can't you do it?"
"I don't know, I want to. I want to let go of him, of all of it but at the same time I can't. I can't move on in my life I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Losing her."
"Evangeline?"
"Yeah." John mumbled.

"So if you let go move on with Evangeline you're afraid you will lose her why?"
"All of my stuff everything that keeps me from her isn't pretty and if I tell her, if I open up with her she will leave."
"Why?"
"Because I'm responsible for my dad and Caitlyn's death, I'm afraid that if she knows she'll leave…"
"But she doesn't know and she is still gone."
"True."
"So what's the harm in talking with her about it because John, technically you don't have her."
"I do, she still loves me I know she does, it's just a matter of us opening up. Becoming intimate really intimate sharing, talking about everything."
"Well start… that's why I'm here McBain, open up to me. Explain things to me tell me why you feel guilty about your dad's death. What are you holding back?"

John stared at Dr. Crosby and then at the floor, "Everything… I'm holding back everything dammit." He mumbled.

Evangeline sat against Nora's sofa laughing at the movie that Nora had turned on, "I can't believe them!" Evangeline said laughing as she covered her mouth.
Nora smiled at her friend and then sat down her glass, "I'm tired I hate to do this, but a girl needs her rest."
"Oh no! I'm sorry I shouldn't have kept you. Get your rest I'm going to hang here and watch some tv and worry about Todd, that's all I can do right now anyways."
"What do you want for dinner?" Nora asked as the nurse came out and wheeled her up the small ramp.
"I'll do dinner Nora don't worry about it!" Evangeline said waving her hand in the air.
"Okay, something greasy okay I've missed greasy!"
"Deal." Evangeline said giggling.

John stood in the hallway to Dr. Crosby's office emotional exhausted. He had said so much but at the same time said so little. It wasn't that he couldn't or wasn't ready to spill his guts, it was who he was spilling his guts too. Evangeline had invested so much into their relationship as she said she really did do all the heavy lifting that he owed her that much to talk to her about his dad, Caitlyn and everything else he held back from her.

Hopefully in doing so she will feel comfortable sharing and opening up with him, as John walked down the hallway and out of the station he sunk his hands into his pockets and looked out into the world. It was a new day for him, and a new day for her as well.

He rounded the corner to the diner to grab a cup of coffee before he started in on trying to prove to Evangeline that he deserved her and he was the man and could be the man that would love her through everything. He greeted the waitress and got his coffee and then headed out the door. Bumping in to his brother on the sidewalk he looked Michael up and down, "Hey bro!" Michael said smiling at him.
"Mikey, how's it going?"
"Good, guess what."
"What's that?"
"I finally asked Marcie to marry me and she said yes!"
"Oh that's great man! I'm happy for you." John said giving Michael a quick hug.
"Yeah I know… Did it just a few moments ago man, she's in heaven so am I."
"That's great, where is my future sister and law."
"She had to run into the PD for something, said she would meet me here. You wanna stick around and have lunch with us, celebrate?"
"Can't man… I have some plans."
"With?"
"No one actually, I'm trying to get my life back in order."
"By?" Michael shaking his head.

John smirked, "Getting Evangeline back." He called as he started to walk away.
"What!"
"I'll explain later I've got to get some place."
"Okay…"

"Evangeline Williamson…" She said answering her cell phone.
"Princess!" Todd said in an enthusiastic greeting.
"Todd, what's up? You and Blair okay?"
"I'm fine thanks for asking. I called you place and no one answered are you okay?" He said dodging the Blair question.
"Fine, I'm at Nora's she's home now."
"Well that's great, I just wanted to give you my room number at the Palace in case you needed anything."
"Sure, let me grab a pen." She cradled the phone on her shoulder and found a pen and paper and quickly jotted down Todd's room number.
"So I guess that means we're not having dinner huh?"
"No, I'm sorry I really want to spend time with Nora. Tomorrow night?"
"Yeah sure that's fine. Get some rest Princess, I don't want you getting worse because you can't seem to stop going."
"I will Todd and I have a call in to Hugh's office to see what the hold up is on the official dismissal of your charges."
"Thanks… talk to you later?'
"Yeah Later." Evangeline snapped her phone shut and threw it next to her on the couch.

She turned back to the television propping her foot up on a bunch of pillows and her arm on some as well. Slowly she drifted off to sleep as the television played softly in the background.

"Thanks for seeing me, Mr. Frisby." John said shaking the man's hand. Craig Frisby an African American man in his late forties with salt and pepper hair stood in front of John with a frown on his face.
"What can I help you with Mr. McBain?"
"Please John, I was wondering if you had any apartments for rent. See I'm trying to make a few changes in my life and I a new place would be the best place to start."

Mr. Frisby flipped through John's application and list of references and then a list of open apartments in the complex, "We do, and so far your application looks solid. You'll have to put down a security and first month's rent."
"I've got that covered." John said grinning as he rocked back and forth on his heels.
"Well then let me show you the place." Mr. Frisby turned to walk away and John reached out and grabbed his arm.
"There's no need sir. I know what the place looks like."
"Excuse me?"
"Yes, I'm a police officer and when one of your tenant's apartments was broken into over the summer I was the responding officer."
"Oh yes Ms. Williamson."
"Yes she and I have a rather close relationship." He said smiling.
"Oh okay… well then come with me and will get the paperwork started."

Back to Index

Chapter 11: Lost Souls

"What are you doing here?" Paige gasped to see Margaret cloaked in black grinning at her. Margaret tossed her shades to the table to her left and undid her coat. "Nice place you have"

Paige looked around and saw that her cordless phone was on the coffee table closest to Margaret. "What do you want?" she asked her heart beating fast. She had learned of Spencer's death and she was trying to put it out of her mind.

She knew the crazy woman was running loose and she felt if she kept her nose clean she would not get caught for her part in the delivery of her child. She hoped anyway. Now with Margaret standing in her living room she knew that her world was about to fall apart.

Margaret laughed pulling off her gloves "Come on doctor you had to know that you'd see me again."

"I had nothing to do with whatever you and Spencer did. I want no parts out of this so you either go now, or I'll call the police!" Paige snapped her voice and hands shaking

"Whoa wait a damn minute!" Margaret said putting her hand up and leaning over to glare directly into Paige's eyes. The corners of her mouth curled up into a snarl baring her teeth. "You are in this up to your bony little neck and I'll snap it in two before I let you turn me in! Are we clear!"

"I..I."

Margaret chuckled to see her hesitation, she smelled fear on her and found it quite amusing. Dr. Miller will do her bidding she was sure of it. "Besides aren't I do for a follow up! I mean when Todd comes home, well you know he'll be expecting me to fufill all my wifely duties if you know what I mean"

Paige shook her head "You're crazy.."

Margaret raised an eyebrow "Dr. you have no idea" she sneered

"I can't help you"

Margaret tossed her long black curly hair and looked around the apartment then back at Paige "Now see, I happen to think you can. The sooner you start thinking the way I do Dr. Miller the healthier you'll be" she said sweetly

"You murdered Spencer.every cop in this state is looking for you!" Paige said frightened.

"And I'll kill you next if you play games with me!"

Paige wished she hadn't told Bo not to come over tonight. She desperately needed to find a way out of the mess. Frowning she looked at Margaret "Where's the baby?"

"He's safe! Now enough questions!" Margaret hissed coming toward her.

Paige turned to run to the kitchen to get the gun she kept hidden there. She'd gotten one after Spencer was found dead and hid it in the kitchen to keep it from being discovered by Bo. He never ventured in her kitchen and she lived in fear of this moment.

Margaret moved swiftly catching her by her short cropped blonde hair and yanking her back. Paige screamed in pain and falling into her captor swinging her arms behind her to claw her way free. Margaret grabbed her throat holding tightly with inhuman strength.

"Listen to me doctor! You get one shot at this, and if you fail.well let's just hope you don't fail" she said snickered.

"Please, I can't help you. There's nothing I can do for you!"

"You can help me, You can be my eyes and my ears. My beloved Todd is desperate for me and TJ, he needs us and I NEED him. So here's what you will do"

John sat on the roof of his hotel drinking beer and looking at the leasing agreement. Tomorrow was moving day and in the three years he lived in the rat hotel he called home, he owned nothing but a couple of suits and a busted TV.

Smiling he felt a sense of relief, as if he was turning a corner. His father's death and then the loss of Caitlyn made him want for nothing really. When he met Evangeline and they spent a night of unexpected passion in Mary's basement something shifted. She touched apart of him that he forever kept closed off, and it wasn't the way she shared herself physically. It was the way she opened up apart of her life and gave him room to open a small part of his. Funny how he just realized that in this moment.

Now a 100 mistakes later he wanted to feel her in that way again. Yet this time he didn't want her physically but intimately. He realized that's what troubled him about her friendship with Manning. They were intimate.

Sighing he looked over to his right at his cell phone as he turned up his beer. She was at Nora's now probably getting ready for bed. Images of the nights they spent together came back over him and he once again wondered what he ever did right in this world to garner her love.

He needed to reach her, and he needed to show her his life changes. He wanted the trust he lost when he bedded a woman he told her for over a year, meant nothing more to him than a friend. Gaining her trust again would be a bigger challenge than finishing training at Quantico. He chuckled at the thought.

Then his smile faded as images of Natalie came to mind. Today Natalie pulled one of her infamous stunts and he finally saw her for the immature tortured woman she is. Her lack of self respect or love had her as emotionally crippled as him. How he could ever think that the two of them could share anything of substance astounded him.

Dr. Crosby was right about him taking a stand. Tomorrow he would not only rise but jump at the opportunity of a new beginning. Leaning back in the chair the winter air chilled him but he didn't flinch. He put down the bottle and reached for his cell phone. Intimacy is what he wanted, he just had to figure out how to get it.

Evangeline finished dinner with her friend and they laughed as she caught her up on politics and celebrity gossip. Nora told her that Brad Pitt left Jennifer for Angelina, when she told her that Angelina Jolie was carrying his baby. Evangeline had to give her props for being right on that score.

The nurse came down to help Nora to bed and Evangeline assisted as best she could, she said her goodnights and thanked her friend again for coming back to her, and caring. Having Nora back was a sign to her that there was hope and life did go on.

Now she lay on the bed in the guest room unable to sleep. She didn't really dwell on John and the promises that seem to be hollow to her. She thought about Todd, and what they went through. Todd Manning was the man that hurt her best friend and has terrorized this town on one or more occasions with his manipulative and deadly ways. But he was also her friend, and he was the only friend that she had that was solely focused on her protecting her.

She knew Nora, Layla and Christian meant well with being supportive. But Todd was giving her a chance to be selfish, to for once not be the bigger person, and believe in the greater good. She trusted him because he saved her life. He put her life before his own freedom. No one had ever gone that far for her.

Hearing her cell phone in her purse she reached for it opening it.

"Hello"

"Hey"

"John, it's late" she said quickly not in the mood for another debate with him over how they can start again.

"I know..sorry were you already gone to bed?"
"No, why are you calling?"

John sat on the roof with the wind blowing his hair. He had finished his six pack and wanted to hear her voice "I was thinking about you. Well about us, and I don't want to argue, or debate what went wrong. I just want to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"You, something new or something old."

"John.." she sighed "I'm tired and."

Tell me something I don't know about you."

Evangeline frowned "Something you don't know?"

"Yes, something that you never told me before" he said closing his eyes and envisioning her face. He remembered the first time he learned something new about her. He had forgotten it was valentines day and she was again saying that he was keeping his heart guarded from her.

Tired of the debate he went to the bar to get something to drink. That's when he heard her. He turned to see the woman he thought he had pegged, reveal something remarkably enchanting about herself. She sang her way into his heart.

Swallowing his guilt he remembered how beautiful she was and how he never even asked her where she got the talent from. Who taught her to sing like that, had she sang always? He just took what she gave so freely, selfishly. That was one bad habit he was determined to break.

"I'm tired, can we table this for another."

"Please Van, talk to me..tell me something, anything. Hey I got it, tell me something about your life in Philly. Even better, tell me what you did after
you graduated from high school" he rushed out quickly trying anything at this point to initiate dialogue with her. It sounded corny but he knew she must have graduated top of her class and the memory of that day with her father should be a cherished one. He thought it was a safe enough question.

Evangeline sighed "What is this about?"

"Come on, we all did something to celebrate graduating, what did you do?"

"Fine, I was valedictorian so my dad took me, my mom and Layla to Bennihana's to celebrate."

"Bennihana's hunh?"

"Yeah a Japanese restaurant. They cook your food hibachi style."

"So it was a special night, you becoming valedictorian. I bet your parents were proud."

"No." she said her voice drifting off.

John frowned "Why not?"

"My dad was upset"

"Why would he be upset?"

"My graduation speech, I froze, look I don't want to talk about this."

John was leaning back with his eyes closed listening to her story and opened his eyes to the tension he heard in her voice. She said she froze? That made no sense. One thing his beloved was, was a talker. He could never imagine seeing her freeze up. "Please Van don't stop, why did you freeze?"

Evangeline grew quiet and said nothing and John listened to the soft sounds of her breathing in the phone. "Hello..you there?"

"Yeah I'm here" she said sadly

"Why did you freeze?"

"My dad, he was so proud and he expected so much. I got up there and my classmates that I never really got to know because I spent all my time buried in a book snickered at me. I looked out at them and saw their happiness. They weren't happy because they'd graduated with a 4.0, or because they got a perfect score on the SAT's. They were happy because they were free, and in that moment I realized I wasn't, so I froze."

"Your dad was upset with you after that?" he asked

"That's putting it mildly. I made it up to him though; I always came through for my dad."

"Thank you for telling me that"

"Why?"

"Because I sat out here tonight and I thought of you. Not the you I know, but the you I want to know. I wanted to be intimate with you, and now I feel that I am."

"John, I don't know what you hope to accomplish but."
"Good night Evangeline."

She smiled at the way he cut her off "Good night."

"Hey"

"Yes."

"That speech you were going to give, what was it called?"

"One moment in time."

"One moment in time." he repeated. "I like that, maybe you can give it to me one day."

"Good night"

"Night"

Hanging up the phone she looked at confused. That was the first time in a long time when he asked her about her, and it felt good. Looking back up to the ceiling she smiled slowly and then sighed. "One moment in time." she said softly then turned over to go to sleep.

Next Morning

"Ms. Kramer you have a visitor" the guard Jason from below called up the stairs to her. Starr and Jack had left for school and Blair had just gotten dressed. She'd chosen a pair of designer jeans and low cut black v-neck sweater to wear. She was trying to put on something flattering for her ambush visit to Todd at the Palace. She wasn't about to give up on him. And she sure as hell wouldn't let this thing he had for his attorney progress any further.

"Thank you Jason, I'll be right down" she called out brushing through her long blonde curls that sprung back to life vibrantly.

Blair approving of her look turned and bounced out of her room heading down the spiral stairs. Her hand on the railing she stopped to look at her visitor frowning. Paige Miller was standing in her living room looking around suspiciously.

"Hello Dr. Miller"

"Blair I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you, I should have called first."

"No, its fine. I am surprised that you visited"

Paige smiled sweetly "Well I know that Todd has been released and I wanted to check in to see if everything was okay."

Blair came off the landing of the bottom step and folded her arms tilting her head. "Why would you care if we're okay?"

Paige swallowed. She needed information and she needed to remain calm when she got it. She didn't want to make Blair suspicious. "Well." she said moving around the living room casually opening her coat. "I was married to Spencer and he's dead. I know you two were."

"We weren't anything!" Blair snapped glaring at her "I stand to loose everything because of the way that man tricked me!"

Paige frowned "So you believe he knew about Margaret?"

"Don't you?"

Paige chewed on her bottom lip "Why do you think he would help her?"

"I don't know! I don't care all I care about is Todd and finding away to get him back!"

Paige frowned "Back?"

Blair laughed "Look around Dr..do you see him?"

"Is he in jail?"

"No, but I might as well be, since he has sentenced me to a life sentence of banishment for ever trusting that monster!"

"He's left you?"

"Yes, and get this. He left me for his lawyer, now if that don't beat all"

Paige eyes narrowed on Blair with suspicion "Evangeline? Todd and Evangeline?"

"That's right. I got a psycho killer lurking ready to pounce and two kids to protect but all he could think about is if that self-righteous legal eagle, and I have Spencer to thank for that!"

Evangeline stepped off the elevator with Todd. She got a call from Hugh this morning to have him brought to the station to sign release papers. Glad she brought some overnight clothes she showered and dressed heading to the police station in a cab.

Todd met her there of course and she got him officially released from prison. He wanted to go out to celebrate, but she just wanted to go home and rest. Coming off the elevator with her crutches she passed him the key to her place so he could open the door. Walking behind him she saw the door next to hers was open.

That condo had been empty for months and from the boxes outside of it she figured that she now had a new neighbor. Todd fidgeted with the keys complaining that he couldn't find the right one. "You are such a big baby" she laughed coming up and snatching the keys from his hand.

Todd looked at her and smiled putting his hands in her hair smoothing it. "Thanks Princess.." he said starting to thank her for helping today.

"It's the round silver one." a voice called out behind them interrupting his little moment.

They both turned around to see John standing in the hall with a box. He had on a black t-shirt and slacks and he smiled at them.

Todd looked him up and down and frowned "I thought they gave you back your badge? What you now a delivery boy to supplement that wasted salary of yours?"

"Morning to you too Manning"

Evangeline stared at him "What are you doing here?"

"Moving."

"What?" Todd asked alarmed looking at the box he held.

"M-o-v-i-n-g" John said slowly giving Todd a imbecilic look.

Evangeline looked over to the empty apartment then at him "Are you serious?"

"You told me that I need to be a property owner. Decided to take your advice"

"So you move across from her? How pathetic!" Todd snapped

"No more pathetic than hanging around her like some love sick puppy. And what's with the cutesy names? The lady has double your IQ but you talk to her like she's four!" he said rolling his eyes.

"Jealous much?" Todd asked smirking

"No, manning I know what she likes to hear and."

"Okay enough!" Evangeline said putting her hand up. "You two stop"

Todd rubbed her back "Sorry, but this is really an invasion of your privacy. He's so desperate to control you that he moves across from you?"

John sucked his teeth and turned to go into his place. Evangeline moved on her crutches to follow him. "John why are you here? Why did you do this?"

"To be near you, Manning is right. I am desperate. I'm desperate because you are constantly pushing me away. I plan to do everything in my power to win you back. I can't do that with you running away from me."

"I wasn't running."

"Okay, I can't do it with you walking away"

"This changes nothing." she said turning and leaving out of his front door.

"We'll see!" he called out after her.

John watched her walk out and went to his door. He saw Todd open her condo door and hold it as she walked in. He looked up at John and smirked then went in behind her. John grinded down on his teeth and went back into his place slamming his door.

Natalie walked into the station heading straight to John's office. She was going to finish what they started last night. Seeing the lights off and the blinds drawn she sighed turning to leave.

"Looking for someone?" Dr. Crosby asked coming up with a folder in his hand, her personnel folder. He was glad she arrived today since it looked like she was keeping her own schedule. With the ongoing false arrests and stress levels at the LPD, his office had received clearance from the Mayor and Commissioner to clean house, jobs and all.

"Not you!" she snapped trying to walk around him.

"We need to talk Natalie" he said preventing her escape.

"What? No! Get out of my way" she said dismissively tossing her red hair.

"I'm not asking for your permission. Now shall we" he said opening John's door and allowing her to enter.

Natalie glared at him and then walked in. Dr. Crosby walked in behind her flipping on the light to see her toss her purse on John's desk. She faced him bobbling her inflated head and glared at him with her cold blue eyes. "What the hell is this about?"

"Its about you Ms. Vega, see I've been charged with the task of making this place a better working environment for the officers here. I am also in the position of dealing with work assignments and details. Now.." He said opening the folder he was carrying "I've been reviewing your file and the ongoing search and rescue missions you help create for Lt. McBain, and this force."

"I what?"

Dr. Crosby looked up at her "You heard me."

"Now wait a.."

"I think that your talents have been wasted here in the bullpen. I think that we can use you elsewhere"

"I work for my uncle Bo"

"Not anymore, effective immediately you will be working with dispatch on the third floor. If that assignment doesn't work out during your probationary period we will have to let you go. Carla, I believe that's her name, has been filling in for you since the prison riot, while you find yourself?" he asked frowning.

"Uncle Bo knows I've been through a lot!" she shouted at him her eyes tearing and her head bobbing from side to side frantically.

"That's right, you've been kidnapped forced to wear a bomb, buried alive, held hostage in a prison riot. I'd say me and you should be in sessions wouldn't you agree."

"My uncle runs this police force, there is no way in hell you can reassign me!"

"Your uncle is a civil servant Ms. Vega, I not only can reassign you, but if I find out that you can't handle the new gig, I'll fire you!"

"You can't do that!"

"I just did" Dr. Crosby said turning to walk out. He didn't pull her off her current job assignment because of McBain; he actually did it for her own good. She had created more turmoil and conflict in here with her presence, than the dangerous men downstairs in lockup. Besides it was his job to clean house. Natalie Vega was the trash that needed to be swept up.

Paige came back in to find Margaret at the window looking out of it. Her jet black hair was unnerving it gave her an Elvira type of appeal. Paige just wanted her out of her place and far away from her. Margaret turned and fixed her icy brown eyes on Paige. "What took you so long!" she said in a low angry voice.

Closing the door and locking it she looked at Margaret with disgust. She shouldn't be helping her but she was in too deep to turn back now. "After I give you this information you promise to leave, right?"

"I won't make any promises to you!"

"Look, you can't stay here. The commissioner is my boyfriend, he has a key Margaret. You can be discovered at any moment." She said desperately

"What did you find out?"

"Todd left Blair"

"You're lying!"

"Lying? Wasn't it you last night talking about how hot he was for your body!" Paige said incredulously.

"He wouldn't leave Blair unless he knew I forgave him and wanted him back!" Margaret said angrily advancing on the doctor. "You're setting me up!"

"NO!" Paige said stepping back "He left her because she slept with Spencer!"

Margaret stopped and smiled "Oh, she did, did she?"

"Yes, and he's apparently found a new love" Paige said nodding; wanting to give Margaret any reason to direct her anger at someone other than herself.

Margaret whose head was turned as she grinned at the good news swung around angrily. "What did you say?"

"He's with his attorney Evangeline Williamson; Blair says they have something going on"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Margaret shrieked scaring the hell out of Paige and charging at her, Paige backed up terrified ready to receive her wrath.

"Can you believe that guy?" Todd asked watching Evangeline move over to the sofa and sit.

Evangeline sighed "Can we not talk about him."

"Of course." he said going over and sitting down next to her. "What I started to say before he interrupted us earlier was thanks."

She looked at him confused "Stop thanking me." she said shaking her head and looking away.

"What? I will not. I owe you more than thanks for believing in me, and seeing me through all of this. Today was great and I owe my life to you"

"You owe it to the truth. You didn't kill anybody" she said smiling "I just did what any lawyer would do"

"No it was much more than that. It was deeper than that. You were the only person who believed in me, and I must say that your belief is what helped me survive that crash and carry you through that storm. Because I could never let a gem like you suffer or die. The loss would be to great."

Evangeline looked over at him. "Todd that's beautiful" she said surprised.

He reached and touched the side of her face "You're beautiful" he said in a low seductive voice letting his eyes wash over face and then lower to her exposed breasts that heaved with quick breaths she was taking.

She reached and touched his hand "What are you doing?"

"Fantasizing." he said softly

"Well fantasy over" she said smiling removing his hand.

Todd stared at her wanting to speak and decided not to push. Evangeline looked away to avoid what she saw in his eyes.

"So what do you want to do now?" Todd asked.

"For you to go home and work on things with Blair" she said looking back at him.

"I got a better idea, how about I fix you something to eat?"

Evangeline frowned "You cook?"

"Nah, but I'm sure you got some sandwich meat or something" he said heading for the kitchen. Evangeline smirked and watched him. She felt safe with him around and she couldn't explain it. Looking toward the door to her place she thought of John leasing the condo outside of hers, she felt safe with him there too. What was going on with her?

John opened the door and smiled at his brother "What's up bro?"

"Please tell me this is some kind of joke" Michael said coming inside

"Nope, check out my new space." he said closing the door.

"You leased the place across he hall from your ex?"

"Something wrong with that?" John asked casually.

"Wrong? Hey I don't know if it's wrong, but damn sure is strange"

John laughed "Want a beer?"

"No, does Evangeline know?"

"Yeah, she just left to entertain her new side kick"

"Side kick?"

"Todd Manning, apparently she can't take a step forward without him at her side, to battle off the evil me that may be lurking to steal his princess." John said irritated.

Michael frowned "When did that happen?"

"Crash, rescue, somewhere in between there" John said smiling drinking his beer.

"Why are you smiling?"

John lowered the beer "Because I finally see the light at the end of this damn dark tunnel I've been in since dad died"

"You do?"

"Last night I spoke to her and I realized something"

Michael walked around taking note that his brother was in desperate need of a decorator. The fold out chairs and TV on the crate would have to go. He didn't bother to look in the bedroom, he was sure it was as aesthetically pleasing as the rest of the place.

"What did you realize?" he asked turning around and staring at his brother.

"What she needed, and how I needed the same. It's just a matter of time." He said smirking drinking down his beer. Glancing back at his front door he smiled "Only a matter of time"

Christian went to the door of his loft and pulled it back. Layla stood with a brown bag holding it up in front of her "Hungry?"

He looked at the bag and then her "What is it?"

"Let me in and find out?"

Christian stepped to the side and let her walk in. He closed the door and watched her carry the food to the counter. Layla was wearing a dark chocolate three quarter inch leather jacket with a soft lavender v-neck sweater and jeans underneath. She pulled the long multicolored scarf from around her neck and tossed her hair to look back at him. "I hope you're in the mood for Chinese"

Christian smiled looking her over, she was Evangeline's sister, but they couldn't be more different. Her bold approach was refreshing. "Why are you here Layla, seriously?"

"Because I saw you the other day, you look like a man that's making changes in his life. I happen to have a thing for boxers; I find the sport to be you know, cool."

Christian smiled and walked toward her "You find it cool hunh?" he asked moving into her space. Layla now pressed against the breakfast bar looked up into his brown eyes. She smiled slyly. "Extremely" she said softly

After lunch Todd got a call from Blair that she was in trouble, asking that he meet her at the Palace. Evangeline saw the panic in his face when he got the call and told him to go. He tried to tell her that he just wanted to make sure they were okay. Evangeline smiled sweetly, she knew better. Todd didn't see it pass his hurt but he loved his family, which meant he loved Blaire.

Telling him to call her later she walked him out. Her foot feeling a little better since the swelling had gone down from the sprain made her able to move around without her crutches so much. Picking up the plates with her free hand she limped into the kitchen.

As she put the dishes in the sink she heard knocking at her door. Figuring it was Todd she moved as quickly as she could to open it. Turning the lock she pulled the door open to see John.

He stood before her, leaning in the door frame smiling. "Can I borrow some sugar?"

Evangeline laughed in spite of herself. "It's a cup of sugar and where is your mug?" she asked looking at his hands.

"Don't need a mug!" he said grabbing her and kissing her by surprise. Evangeline eyes grew wide at the kiss and then fluttered as his tongue slid inside her mouth. 10 seconds into it she pushed away and swung to slap him. John caught her hand. "Don't ruin a kiss that way!" he said smiling.

Snatching her hand she glared at him. "You and I need to get a few things straight!"
John nodded "Yeah we do" he said coming in.

She stepped back and glared at him slamming her door. One minute she wanted to kill him and the next she wanted to be in his arms. He turned to look at her challengingly and she shook her head "Why do you keep doing this?"

"Are you ready to listen, because I want to tell you."

She shook her head and looked away "John, you can't keep forcing yourself on me."
'It's not what I'm doing?"
"Then what do you call it?"
John walked toward her. "You think its my ego, or my new obsession. You think I want to control you or just win you from your new suitor. It's deeper than that. You're apart of me and for the first time since we decided to attach strings, I'm going fight to prove it."

She looked at him shocked and he smiled "Now about that sugar?"

Margaret sat outside of attorney Evangeline Williamson's place. She saw Todd come racing out of the front and the tears began to flow

"Todd! How could you turn to another woman? Do you really feel that lost without my love?" she whimpered.

Watching him start the car she looked up at the building "You want have him bitch! I'll take care of you!" she said starting her car and pulling away to follow Todd. Wiping at her tears she gripped the steering wheel. She would fix this if it's the last thing she'd do

Back to Index

Chapter 12: Lost Souls

"What are you doing!" Layla giggled as she sat across from Cris eating the Chinese she brought for them.
"These damn chopsticks. How do you know how to use those?"
"My dad." Layla said smiling as she slipped some lo mein noodles into her mouth. She chewed them and winked at Cris as he fought with the chopsticks, "Do I seriously have to use these!" He said throwing them across the island.
"Oh come on, Cris be good and use them. Here…" Layla put her chopsticks down and picked up his and handed them back. "You put your finger and your thumb like this." She said demonstrating the proper technique.

Cris laughed and so did Layla as they rolled off his fingers onto his plate, "You want me to have fun right? That's why you came here."
"Yeah, and a girl's gotta eat." She said chomping down on her food.
"Then let me use a fork." Cris whined.
"Fine, go ahead and be a baby, use a fork." She said looking up from him with her mouth half full.
"I'm not a baby, just smart!" He snapped and reached for a fork behind him. "Much better." He mumbled slurping up the noodles.
"Whatever, you're loss!" She shot with a soft smile.

Cris winked at her and they continued to eat laughing as Layla's food rolled off her chopsticks, "Want a fork? It's much easier." He said grinning.
"No these are fine thanks. So tell me about this boxing thing."
"What about it?"
"I mean like when's your first match?"
"In a few days why?"
"Just wondering that's all. So you're really into this boxing thing huh?"
"Yeah, why does that surprise you?"
"Just didn't think you would want to damage those hands of yours." She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Cris dug into the cartons pulling out more food on to his plate and smiled, "My hands are fine, thanks for wondering though."
"Well I know how much you like painting too."
"Yeah that's the old Cris. This is the new one, who boxes."
"If you say so, but I've seen your work Cris and it's fabulous."
"Again the old Cris. The one sitting here having lunch with you is the new Cris."
"Oh, what the does the ex-wifey think of this?"
"She doesn't want me to box, but it's none of her concern anymore." He said softly.
Layla looked at him and a small smile crept across her lips as she drank her water.
"What's the smile for Layla?" Cris asked grinning at her.
"Nothing, nothing at all, can you pass me the egg rolls." She said looking at them sitting next to him.

Cris picked them up and handed to them to her, their fingers brushed and she pulled back quickly, "Thanks."
"No problem. So shouldn't you be at work or something."
"Mental Health day."
"What!" he asked confused.
"My mental health is being jeopardized at the moment, I needed a day to regroup."
Cris laughed and shook his head, "That's something I've never heard before. How is your mental health being threatened?"
"Manning."
"Todd?"
"Yeah the man is all over my sister. It's disgusting." She said shaking her head.
"He saved her life Layla."
"And for that I'm grateful but he can go back to his wife and kids now and stop hanging all over my sister. You know he tried to move in with us." She said annoyed.
Cris coughed on his water as it trickled down his face. Layla laughed and threw him a towel that sat next to her. He winked at her and wiped his mouth, "Thanks, but Manning what!"
"Yeah he tried to move in with us. I can't believe him. We got into it about that too. Then John came over."
"McBain and Manning in the same room, I'm sure that wasn't pretty."

Layla stood up and dumped her plate in the trash and turned to look at Cris with a hand on her hip, "Ugly would be an understatement. Those two have such hate for each other it's not even funny."
"The one thing they do have in common is your sister."
"You too." She said smiling.
Cris nodded and handed his plate to Layla, "She's an amazing person."
"Don't you think I know that?" Layla said smiling.
"She has this way of making you fight even when you think there is no fight left and all hope seems to be gone."

Layla followed Cris over to the small couch and tucked her feet up under her, "That's my sister for you. She can create miracles."
Cris looked her up and down and smiled, "What was it like."
"What?'
"Growing up with Evangeline as an older sister what was it like."
"Why do you care?" Layla smirked as she narrowed her eyes on him.
"I care because I care about Evangeline and you for that matter. So what was it like to grow up with her?"
"You mean grow up in her shadow?"
"Was it that bad?"
"No…" Layla said quietly, "Just difficult at times. I mean how would you feel being the younger sister to an accomplished dancer, pianist, singer, and some who get straight A's all the time."
"That rough huh?"
"Not all the time, I love my sister don't get me wrong. She means the world to me and when I thought I lost her I couldn't fathom not being able to talk to her, make fun of her, have her boss me around. Just the idea was painful enough." She said holding back tears. Layla turned her head and wiped at the corner of her eyes, "Sorry." She mumbled staring at the wall.

Cris touched her shoulder and she turned around to force a smile, "No need. I don't know what I would have done if I lost Antonio or thought I lost him." He said softly as he squeezed her shoulder.
"Thanks Cris… "
"Hey don't mention it." He said smiling at her.
Layla smiled back and bit the inside of her lip as his lips parted showing that soft half smile he loves to give.

Evangeline stood staring at John his blue eyes sparkling as they roamed over her body. She felt exposed under his intense glare and draped her arms over her chest. "Stop doing that." She said shaking her head.
"What?"
"That look. That damn look." Evangeline moved past him favoring her good leg and took a seat on the couch.
"What look?" John questioned standing over her sliding his hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth.
She looked up at him, his mouth in a half smile his eyes glistening with love, the love she had always seen when they were together but this time with more fire, more fight behind it. "That damn look that makes me think you're undressing me with your eyes."
"If I was?"
"I would tell you to put the clothes back on me because there's no way you're ever going to see me like that again."
"All I have to do is close my eyes." He whispered.

"Go!" she snapped pointing at the door.
"Wait I'm sorry! I'm pushing, I promised myself I wouldn't and I'm going to promise you now that I won't push."
"Too little too late for that John, now please go. I have a mountain of work to get caught up on."
John shook his head and sat down next to her. Evangeline moved away from him pushing her back up against the arm of the couch as he stared at her, "I see that…. But shouldn't you take it easy? I mean you were in a plane crash for goodness sake."
"That I was but I need my work."

John laughed and shook his head, "You and I are a lot alike." He said smiling up at her.
"That's the second time I've heard that." She said rolling her eyes.
"Maybe it's true. We both push ourselves too hard and when things get rough we dive into our work." He said fingering the files that sat on her ottoman.
"It's not true, I can open up." She shot back.
"Touché…." John mumbled staring down at the ground, "I guess I deserve that."
"You do." Evangeline said shooting him daggers.
"Doesn't mean that I can't change."
"Yeah you can't, because you don't want to."
"I do." He said now getting annoyed with her. "I'm changing for me, for you, for us." He said reaching for her hand.

Evangeline pulled her hand back crossing it over her chest and glared at him, "Bull… you don't care. If you did you would have opened up a long time ago."
"I tired! Damn it, and now I'm trying again. I realized that when that plane went down and I didn't tell you everything that I was feeling that I might have just missed out on the best thing to ever happen to me."
"I tried to tell you that."
"Yeah and I didn't listen. I ran from you."
"To Natalie."
"This has nothing to do with her."
"The hell it does John! You ran to her after I told you that I still loved you. You slept with her after everything that we shared. Do you know how that fells? To know that man you gave your heart and soul too, could just throw it away like that. Like it didn't matter." She said choking back tears.
"I'm sorry… I don't know how to explain it all, I really don't."
"Could you please just go John, I lived through this once and don't want to do it again."

John stared at her and saw her resolve, she was sick of the whole thing and so was he. He was sick of hiding from her, hiding all of it. John stood and stared pacing the room.
"John I'm serious could you please just go!"
He looked at her and ran a hand over his face and through his hair. He headed to the door and stopped at the site of it. It all came flooding back like a rush and caught him completely off guard. Walking to the to table he picked up and held it tightly in his hands.

Todd walked into the Palace in a huff searching for Blair. He saw her pacing in the lobby and their eyes locked, "What's wrong!" he said anxiously walking over to her.
"Thank god you came."
"What is it Blair, what do you want?"
"You." She said smiling.

Todd glared at her and stared to walk away. She reached out and grabbed his arm pulling him back and kissed him hard on the mouth. Her thin nimble fingers ran through his blonde locks as she felt Todd give into the kiss, give into her. Pulling back she kissed him softly, "Now tell me you don't love me." She whispered kissing his lips over and over again.
"Stop it!" he shouted pushing her away.

"Todd, I don't get it." She said wiping the corners of her mouth and staring up at him hurt.
"Same ole Blair."
"And you're the same ole Todd! So what! Come back to us and our family. We need you."
"I need my kids yes, but you no." He said glaring at her as he wiped at his lips.
"That's a load of crap and you know it."
"The hell it is."
"Then why are you here Todd?"
"What?"
"You came when I called why! If it's over between us then why did you come to me."
"You said it was an emergency! I thought it was Starr or Jack."

Blair walked up to him running her fingers through his hair. Todd turned his head taking a step backwards and frowned at her, "You said it was an emergency." He said softly looking up at her.
"Yet you still came to me because you love me. No matter how much you try to deny it Todd it won't work. You love me and I love you. You can't use Evangeline to try and drive a wedge between us. It won't work and you know it. I will always be here and so will Starr and Jack."

"Don't you dare use our kids to try and prove your point. I will always love them and there isn't any thing you can do to change that. I'm going. This was a set up, and I hate set ups." He snapped.
Blair watched as Todd tried to walk around her and she stood in front of him, "Have a drink with. Let me prove to you that this can work Todd." She said squeezing his arm.
Todd pried her fingers from around his arm and pushed her away, "No… I'm not playing these games with you any more Blair."
"It's not a game damnit. We are supposed to be together!" She yelled after him.
"If that's the truth then you wouldn't have slept with Spencer. You would have believed in us, in me!" he said turning to stare at her.
"I'm sorry Todd okay. I've apologized already. I need you back Todd, I need us back. Just a drink, that's all I'm asking for."
"I can't." he said sadly.

"Can't you Williamson's keep your hands to yourselves!" Natalie snapped slamming the heavy sliding door behind her.
Layla jumped and Cris turned around to glare at her, "What are you doing here." Cris said standing up and walking over to her.
"I came to talk, but I should be asking what is she doing here?" Natalie said her eyes rolling in her head as she pointed toward Layla.
"Cris and I were just having lunch." Layla said with a bright smile as she rose from the couch.

"Lunch huh… what were you having?" Natalie asked scanning the small kitchen and living room.
"Layla and I were having Chinese, what do you want Natalie!" Cris snapped getting her attention.
"I needed to talk to you."
"What did you find out that my sister and John are back together?" Layla questioned folding her arms over her chest as she stood next to Cris.
"They are not!" Natalie squealed.
"Oh I think they are and let me guess he told you that he didn't want you." Layla snapped rolling her neck and pointing at her.
"I told him that I wanted Cris back!"
"OH you did, did you?" Cris piped in.
"Yeah, that's why I'm here Cris." She said softly touching his arm. "I want to work things out with us, with you. I want us back."

"He doesn't want you Natalie. Like he would want a spoiled rich brat like you."
Natalie turned her head and glared at Layla, "I suggest you mind your own damn business before I put you out."
"This isn't your house Natalie, you can't put me out. I'm not going any where unless Cris tells me too."
"Cris tell her to go. Tell her to go so we can make this work with us." She whimpered pulling at Cris's arm.
"I've had this conversation with you before Natalie. It's over. I'm not some damn fire hydrant that you can run back and forth between and piss on!" he snapped.
"You bastard!" Natalie snapped stepping back from him, "How dare you."
"No! How dare you." Layla offered up stepping in front of Cris, "You throw yourself at my sister's boyfriend for a year and then she dumps him and starts shacking up with you for what reason I don't know." She said rolling her head. "But when she goes missing god forbid he finally comes to his senses and realizes that you! Aren't the one he wants, and never wanted. I would say you were what, a stand in for something better!"

"You Bitch!" Natalie squealed and lunged for her. Layla took a step to the side and watched as Natalie went stumbling after her. She spun around ready to slap Layla when Cris grabbed her hand, "Natalie go. You've worn out your welcome." Cris said gripping her wrist tightly.
"But Cris…" She whimpered her bottom lip quivering.
"I'm not the same as I went in Natalie. I don't need you to feel like a real man. Now if you don't mind, I was in the middle of something that I'd like to get back too."
Natalie looked over Cris's shoulder and to Layla who was glaring at her with a wicked smirk on her face, "You want her…"
"We were having a nice time until it was rudely interrupted. If you want something, next time call before you come barging into my place." He hissed releasing her and pushing her backwards.

He turned his back and walked to the door, pulling it open he stood in front of it staring at her, "Go Natalie…" Natalie looked at Cris holding back her tears and walked past Layla and out the door, "Don't come crawling back to me when Layla over there decides she wants something better than you."
"I'm sorry Natalie but I'm nothing like you!" Layla snapped walking closer to the two of them.
"Whatever…" She mumbled pushing past Cristian and out the door. He closed it shut and turned to stare at Layla, "That was un called for."
"She attacked me!" Layla said shocked.
"You still didn't have to go at her like that."
"I can't believe you're defending her?" Layla said annoyed and walked to grab her coat, scarf and purse.
"I'm not defending her, where are you going!" He called as she stopped at the door.
"I'm not going to stay here and listen to you defend that little witch. After everything thing she did to ruin my sister's relationship with John and then still chased after him even though you fought to come back to her. She makes me sick." Layla said glaring at him.
"Stay…"
"What?" She asked confused.
"I want you to stay." Cris walked over and closed the door and took Layla's purse and coat from her and set it down on the island. "We were talking about your childhood. Come tell me more…" he said nodding at her.
Layla stood at the door watching as Cris sat down on the couch and propped his feet up on the trunk that was his coffee table. He looked over at her and smiled as he drank his water, "You going, or staying?"
She smiled and took a step forward, "Staying."

John looked at the pinky bunny in his hands gently holding it unlike how he held it the last time, "You still have this." He whispered looking over at her.
"Of course I do… Why wouldn't I?" Evangeline said shaking her head and raising her eyebrow.
"I don't know… I mean, it's just…"
"John don't go there please."
He set the bunny down and looked up at her and smiled weakly, "You know I remember everything about that night."
"So do I!" she snapped.
"That was the first time that I was able to tell you some things openly and honestly."
"You were drunk." She said dismissively.
"Not drunk enough to not know what I was saying and doing. I was telling you the truth, all of it."
"You didn't say anything that night."

John took a step forward and then placed his hands on the arm of the couch, "I tried too."
"You couldn't."
"I can now."
"Yeah I'm sure you can." She said rolling her eyes.
"I can, what do you want to know."
Evangeline looked up at him shocked, "What?"
"What do you want to know? You shared with me last night now I'm going to do the same. So what do you want to know?"
"Nothing John…." She mumbled pulling at a blanket.

He looked down at her and then took a seat at the end of the couch. John pulled a pillow onto his lap and pulled at the corner of it. "You ever ride your bikes around town when you were little?"
"What?"
"Your bike did you ever ride it around town?"
"Not really, why?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, a lot of my friends didn't live in the area so if I wanted to play my mom or dad took me."
"Oh well where I grew up all the kids lived on the same block you know."
"Yeah…
He smiled at her, glad that she was letting him stay. "So my best friends and I would always ride our bikes around the neighborhood.
"What were you like in a gang or something." She said chuckling.
John smiled and let go of a soft laugh, "You could say something like that."
"So why are you telling me this."

He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and blew out a slow deep breath, "I wanted to tell you this back then." He said looking behind him at the bunny on the desk.
"What stopped you?"
"You just kept coming at me with all the questions. I hate when people do that." He said honestly. Evangeline cut her eyes away and bit her lower lip, "But I shouldn't have snapped at you back then and I'm sorry I did."
She nodded her head and John took that as a sign for him to continue, "There is so much here." He said gripping his chest, "So much I want to tell you but I don't know where to start."
"The beginning." She said looking at him.

"That's a good place to start." He said smiling at her, "Was Layla ever a pain?"
"She was my little sister of course she was a pain!" Evangeline said laughing.
"Mike too, but nothing like this girl named Kelly Ryan."
"Who's that?" She questioned shaking her head.
"The first person I ever failed." John replied looking up at the ceiling.
"What?"
"Like I said I had this group of friends we went everywhere on our bikes."
"Was Kelly a part of this group?"
"No but she wanted to be. Always tagging along, chasing after me you know the little girl stuff."
"Oh…"
"Yeah, I tried a lot of things to get rid of her. But I mean she was only 7 and I was 9 at the time."
"Was this before you dad?"
John nodded and lowered his head, his dark hair falling down over his face, "Yeah…" he swallowed looking up at her. "Just few months before dad."
"I'm sorry what happened to her?"

"We were all playing down the block from one of my best friend's house. When she came riding up on her bike. It's so weird how you remember the little things. But it's so clear even now I can see her red hair in a high ponytail swishing back and forth as her pink bike with purple streamers came flying down the street. You never would have known she was only seven by the way she acted."
"Tough?"
"Very and acted like she knew everything. But at the same time innocent and really vulnerable. She would always look to me to help her out of jams."
Evangeline sucked in her breath as John talked of Kelly, she was so much like Natalie it wasn't even funny. "So you played her hero."
"Yeah I guess."
"Oh…"
"Yeah. Well that day I was sick of her hanging around me. I just got in a fight with my mom about something what I don't remember and then here she comes and starts talking about some new toy her dad got her. Her dad was some bigwig in town, like the assistant to the deputy Mayor or something like that."
"What happened John?" Evangeline said softly.

He looked up at her and frowned as he ran a hand over his face, "I ran her away."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I yelled at her and told her to get lost and leave me alone. I was sick and tired of her always around me. I liked it at first you know someone that looked up at me, but she would get in the way of this older girl that I liked and I would always have to go after Kelly to help her out of some stupid jam she got herself into."
"Sounds like someone else we know." She mumbled.
"I know… I know that Evangeline." John snapped.
"Hey!"
"This is hard enough for me to tell this. No one knows this, I mean no one. Mike, my mom, dad didn't know either."
"John…"
"I pushed her away and she died! I killed the girl, I ran her away. All she wanted was for me to be her friend at the least. But no! I was sick of her in my face so she ran." He snapped closing his eyes.
Evangeline shook her head finally understanding John a little bit more, "How did she die John?" she asked softly.

John opened his eyes and looked over at her. Her hair had fallen across her face and he reached to tuck it behind her ear and then gently caressed her face before pulling his hand back. Evangeline relished in the simple contact and wanted to do the same to him, but wasn't quite sure she of her feelings for him. "I yelled at her, told her that to go away, to get lost. She got on her bike and peddled away while all of my friends and I laughed at her."
"Go on…"
"She got hit by a car. We all heard the squealing tires and the glass crunching and her bones breaking from where we were."
"Oh god!" She said softly covering her mouth.
"If I just let her stay with us, hang out with us, she wouldn't have gotten hit by that car. I wouldn't have…"
"What? You wouldn't have what John."
"I don't know." He said softly looking down at the pillow he held in his hands, "I was so used to being able to help her, to be there for her. The one time she needed me, really needed me to be there for her I wasn't."
"Oh John…" Evangeline said softly reaching out and touching his hand. He turned his hand over to lightly hold hers. "It was so hard to stand there in the middle of the street and watch her die in front of me."

"You didn't help her?"
"I didn't know how! I mean I could always before help her, it was my job to help her, to get her out of the trouble but the one time she need me Evangeline, the one time she really needed me I couldn't help her!" He snapped. John pulled his hand from her and stood up from the couch. Evangeline watched as he walked to the door opened it and closed it behind him.

She let a few tears fall down her face as she held her hands close to her chest. John stood on the outside of her door breathing deeply he held back the tears of that day. He could see the image of her lifeless body flash before his eyes as he walked back across the hall to his apartment. Sliding the key in the door he pushed it up and stood staring at the empty apartment, "John!" Evangeline called from her doorway.

Back to Index

Chapter 13: Lost Souls

John turned in his doorway hearing her calling to him. He considered going back but what would be the point. He couldn't open himself up any further than what he did now.

"John…" Evangeline said coming to the door. She braced herself against the frame with her good hand. "Come back, I need to talk to you…"

He closed the door to his place then moved toward her "Why? Why do you want me to come back?" he asked his voice racked with pain and guilt.

"I…we…you're upset…what you said…"

"So What!" he shouted "So what Van! Why would you care? I mean you gave yourself to me for a year right. You waited and waited offering nothing but support and love for what? For a guy who caused a little girl to run off into the street and get her life snatched away because he was to busy to be concerned about her feelings! The same guy that took a woman to bed while her husband remained locked up away from her. The same man that flaunted it in your face with no remorse." he shouted tears coming down his face, as the pain he's caused her overwhelmed him again.

Evangeline stood in her doorway unable to speak. She didn't want to pull back the scabs on those wounds again. Each word was like a dagger in her heart. But to see his pain over failing her made her truly believe in his sincerity to make it right.

He stepped into her space, bringing his face to hers and she saw the final threads that held him together all these years unwound. His vibrant blue eyes darkened as his face turned a deep shade of red, as his body began to shake and breakdown from all the burdens he's carried.

She was so frightened for him now, she began to let go of tears of frustration. Her man, this man she loved with ever fiber of her being so broken and tortured, she didn't know what to do.

"John…it's okay…" she said reaching for him.
"I can't do it Van, I can't rip myself apart any further….I can't relive this over and over just to get you to believe in me! I don't even know if you should after the things I've done to you."

Evangeline reached for him initiating a kiss that shocked them both. He immediately pulled her into his arms and kissed her back careful of her cast on her arm. Holding and lifting her off her feet he stepped into her place pushing the door wide open and not bothering to close it.

Her eyes fell shut under the seduction within his kiss and she felt a weightless feeling as her body responded in ways she forgot it would from his touch. John so desperate to have her held her with both hands kissing her face and neck "I love you so much Evangeline, you can trust me! I'm so very sorry for hurting you." He said carrying her deeper into her pace toward the sofa. They were loosing control and not aware of anything around them but each other.

Evangeline moaned "John…slow down…" she said panting trying to get her bearings. He didn't hear her, the sound of his own thundering heartbeat pounded in his ears. Walking her back to the couch he pushed her down gently still kissing her. Her eyes rolled into her head as he bit down on her bottom lip softly controlling their kiss.

Enjoying the softness of her body and the taste of her skin he was extra careful of her ankle as he put his weight on her. She wanted to comfort him, and she needed comfort in return, but she knew that this way wasn't the way.

"John…wait…" she said breathlessly smiling trying to get his attention. Sliding his hand up her shirt and grabbing her breast, he squeezed it then forced his tongue back into her mouth as he ground his hips between her parted legs rubbing his stiff manhood on her through their clothes. Evangeline's hips lifted in response and she felt her self grow wet with desire.

Turning her head she broke the kiss as he stuck his tongue in her ear trying to undo the button to her jeans. "No John, stop…" she said trying to resist her burning need for him pushing at his chest with both hands. "Please stop…" she moaned.

"You heard her asshole!" Todd shouted grabbing him roughly and throwing him off her. Evangeline sat up shocked pulling down her shirt to see John fall back against the floor on his back.

He looked up at Todd enraged leaping to his feet, then charging him bent over taking Todd in the gut with his left shoulder forcing him down to the floor.

"Stop it!" Evangeline screamed buttoning her jeans with her free hand, crying in frustration.

John jumped on top of Todd punching him in the face. Todd stunned from the blow threw up his left arm to block the next blow and flipped John off him.

"You were trying to rape her! She didn't want you and you couldn't handle it! I ought to snap you damn neck!" Todd shouted rising swiftly and running over to deliver a powerful kick to his gut.

All the air escaped John lungs as the force of the kick caused him to bend inwardly fighting the urge to throw up. Instead of letting go of his lunch he ignored the pain, grabbing Todd's right foot yanking hard bringing him down on the floor.

"THE BOTH OF YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Evangeline screamed as the fight got out of hand and they rolled around in front of her attacking each other with their fist. Evangeline swiped her wild hair from her face and tried to get them to stop. "Please! Please stop! Todd, John what the hell is wrong with you!"

John threw Todd off him sending him crashing into her end table breaking it. His rage so strong he went in for the kill but Evangeline stepped in front of him "Stop it dammit!" she shouted in his face pushing at his chest with her free hand. Suddenly loosing her balance she went falling to the floor.

It was enough to snap them out of it. John went to his knees rushing over to her side "Evangeline you okay…" he said breathing hard tasting blood in his mouth from the cut inside of his mouth.

"Don't touch her!" Todd shouted going to her side, shoving him away.

Evangeline shook her head "Get out!" she said crying uncontrollably.

Todd smiled smugly "You heard her get out!"

Evangeline glared at him "You too! The both of you I want you out now!"
Todd frowned "What?"
John reached for her and she backed away dragging her still sore foot. "Don't touch me! Just go…I want you both to go!" she said weakly, crying, frustrated that she couldn't get up from the floor on her own.

"Princess, I'm sorry…I'm so very sorry. When I came to your door it was open and he was on top of you, while you begged him to stop. I couldn't let him hurt you!" Todd said genuinely pained at seeing her cry.

John looked at him as if he had completely given in to insanity. "Are you out of your damn mind? Do you think I would attack her? Of course you do….that's how you do it right? Keep going when the ladies say no"

"Why you robo cop reject…." Todd growled ready to pounce.

"ENOUGH!" she shouted through her tears. Reaching above her she grabbed the door knob on her open front door, pulling herself up. Struggling but refusing their help, she rose and stood on her foot solidly, before opening the door wider "NOW! GO!"

Todd stood and so did John. They glared at each other for a long moment, then Todd rolled his eyes. He walked over to Van. "Remember the promise I made to you? I told you he wouldn't be allowed to hurt you again. You showed me the beauty of that little girl inside of you that won the spelling bee. I see you for who you really are and expect nothing for my devotion to you. I know you don't need protecting, but you told me it felt good to have someone that cared. That someone is me Van."

Evangeline kept her head down "Leave…" she said sadly
Todd touched her face forcing her to look in his eyes "I care…"

She bit her lip and nodded "He wasn't going to hurt me Todd and I can't have you hurting him. This has to stop. I want you to go until I invite you back okay?"

Todd didn't conceal his hurt. "You don't mean that"

"I do.." she said moving her face from his hand. "Good night"

He leaned into her and kissed her forehead. John winced from the sight. "Good night Princess." He looked back at the destroyed end table. "I'll replace that" he then looked at John and winked "You and I will finish what we started Batman."

"Looking forward to it" John said glaring back at him with his hair in his face. Todd smirked at John then walked out of the open door. Evangeline avoided John's eyes. "Its late, go home…"
"What happened earlier…"
"Just go John"

He walked over to her "Evangeline I love you, I need you back. It would take two lifetimes to make up for all the pain I've caused you. I'd gladly die and come back to do it all over if I could have you. But the truth is life is too short. Everyone I've loved has died before I was able to express my feelings to them. Please….don 't keep pushing me away."

Evangeline looked in his eyes "You move to fast and you leave me behind John. It's not that I don't think that you love me. I just can't believe until you truly love yourself that you can give me what I need."

"Then help me baby….show me."
"I can't" she said shaking her head "I can't do that again, you don't respond well to that. This is your journey, you have to take it alone John."
He touched her face lovingly "And when I've completed my journey and come to you as a hole man, will you be here?"

She stared at him sadly "Good night John"
He leaned in to her face and kissed her lips softly, putting his forehead to hers "Things have been complicated, painful, and torturous for us. Mostly that's my fault, I know that now and I'll never hurt you like that again. Believe in me…."

She said nothing but his blue eyes conveyed a sincerity she hadn't seen in so very long. John let her face go and walked out. The door closed in his face and he sighed. When will she trust herself with him again? Will she ever?

Looking at the door, he heard a noise to his left. Turning he saw a woman with black hair and dark shades on, with a scarf around her head. She nodded and headed out of the side exit door. John frowned at her finding it odd she would use the emergency exit on the 14th floor as oppose to the elevator.

Hearing the elevator ding he looked over and saw an older woman with her cat step off walking slowly up the hall. Shaking off his suspicion he headed to his condo going inside. He needed some ice for his jaw.

"I really should be going Christian" Layla said rising from the sofa.
"So soon?" he asked disappointed.
Putting on her jacket she looked at him amused. She had a wonderful time just sitting and talking about her life with him, learning about his. He was a remarkable man. "You have to be kidding right; I've been here over four hours. I have two jobs you know"

Christian touched her hand, pulling her closer. She moved over toward him and looked down at him smiling shyly. "You aren't ready for this Chris.."
"How do you know what I'm ready for…"
She swallowed "Then I'm not ready…" she said weakly
"Ready for what?"

"Ready to be your rebound girl" she said pulling her hand free and going for her scarf. Christian stood up approaching her. She kept her back to him fishing for her keys nervously in her purse. Feeling him pressing into her she closed her eyes "Chris don't…"

He moved her hair from her shoulder "I'm not going to lie to you, I've loved Natalie for so long so hard, I barely remember who I am anymore. I was so lost in the man I thought she wanted, I forgot to be the man that I needed myself to be. But you Layla, so full of life and fire, you make me want to know myself again. You make me want more for myself." He said kissing the inside of her neck and sliding his arm around her wais pulling her close.

Layla turned around in his arms dropping her purse and placing her hands in his curly hair bringing her mouth to his. Christian kissed her tenderly and then more feverishly as his passion for her increased with the feel of her. Layla lowered her eyes and said a silent prayer that the choice she was making wouldn't come back to hurt her in the long run.

Margaret leaned back on the emergency exit door, waiting a solid thirty minutes before opening it. She had to contain the rage that boiled inside of her. Taking the Emergency stairs earlier she came into the hallway in time to hear screaming and shouting from Evangeline's.

She found out what floor and apartment she was on easily through the internet before she left Paige's. Silently creeping down the hall she stopped just outside Evangeline's door to listen to the battle in side.

Todd and that cop spared over the pretty attorney to her disgust. Hearing Todd fighting and struggling for the love of someone less worthy enraged her. Paige's words came back to haunt her. It was all true, her Todd had feelings for another woman. "As if that bitch Blair isn't enough….." she hissed clenching her fist tightly.

"Todd, have you been that desperate without me?" she asked her chest burning with jealousy, her eyes wide with the madness that dwelled in her skull.

"Well someone needs to let Ms. Evangeline Williamson esq know what her place is!" she grunted stepping into the hall. She walked over to Evangeline's door and knocked on it, keeping her head bowed.

"I'm okay really Nora…"
Nora sat up on the couch and accepted the medicine from the nurse. She was no longer in the wheel chair but she did tire easily. "I know physically your fine but my god Van, emotionally you must be exhausted."

"He's trying…"
"That's a good thing."
"Part of me wishes he wouldn't. I think too much time has past. We're both different now"
"Different is good, because you could never have anything they way that you were. He was too selfish and you were too accepting. This time both of you have grown. You won't loose yourself sweetie, you have to believe that.

"I believe that time is still needed, then maybe"
Nora sighed smiling. "Well maybe sounds a helluva lot better than your previous 'hell no!' " she said laughing

Evangeline laughed too "I'm so glad you're my friend and I have you back"
"Me too…take care"
"I will, love you bye."

Evangeline turned off the phone, sitting on the window seal to her large picture window facing the front of the condo watching the cars go by in the night. Several times she fought the urge to go to him and tell him her feelings and fears. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. Whenever she was near him she lost herself.

Nora said she could trust her feelings again. Her mind said differently and she didn't know what to believe. Hearing a knock at the door she smiled slightly. He just couldn't stay away. Rising to her feet she limped over to the door dropping the phone to her sofa before unlocking and opening it. She didn't bother to ask who it was, thinking he was back with his lame cup of sugar excuse. Evangeline saw a woman with dark hair covered by a Burberry scarf and large oval shades. "Can I help you?"

Margaret stepped in forcing her back and slammed the door. Evangeline gasped stumbling back trying to remain standing on her good foot. "Oh God! Margaret?" she screamed loudly hoping that John could hear her across the hall.

"Shut your damn mouth! Scream again and I'll shut it for you!" Margaret hissed pulling off her scarf and removing her shades. She looked around the place and then back at Evangeline "Are we alone?"

"NO!" Evangeline said bluffing.
Margaret smiled evilly and tilted her head "Liar!"
"What do you want Margaret?"
"I want to get some things straight with you!" she said advancing on her. Evangeline refused to cower to the insane woman and stood her ground. "Get out of my house!"

Margaret laughed "I guess I'm not making my self clear. Todd is mine, he has always been mine, he will always remain mine. We have a child together and we plan to spend our lives raising TJ in a loving secure family!" she screeched moving into Evangeline face. Evangeline now with her back to the wall moved to the right to gain a better advantage over her nemesis.

Margaret reached and grabbed her by her good arm shaking her "Did you sleep with him! Did you sleep with my Toddy!" she snapped.

Evangeline snatched her arm loose and slapped Margaret, who in turn delivered a back hand slap sending her to the ground tripping over her bad ankle. Evangeline winced at the pain and looked up at Margaret towering over her.

"Answer me bitch! Did you sleep with him!" she said pulling a gun from her purse. Evangeline gasped "Oh my god you are crazy!"

"And you're dead!" Margaret said aiming the gun at her.
The door to Evangeline apartment burst open with John leveling his gun at her "Drop it Margaret!" he shouted at her.

Margaret immediately reached down and forced Evangeline to her feet. Putting the gun to her head she used Evangeline as a shield. "I don't think so cop, you drop it and do it now!"

John looked into Evangeline eyes and his hands holding the gun firmly began to shake. He thought about Kelly, his dad and Caitlyn. If he lost one more person he loved to violence it would be the death of him. Breathing through his nose his eyes turned into desperately angry blue slits. "Fine….just let her go"

"Drop the damn gun and kick it over to me!" Margaret hissed
"John don't she's crazy!" Evangeline said afraid she'd shoot him or worse. She was once again facing death and the fear of the moment had her legs feeling as if they would go weak.

John smiled weakly at her "I can't let you be hurt, I can't loose you"

Margaret watched the exchange between the two of them. "Wow this is sweet….so he's the one you want hunh? Why are you teasing my Toddy then? Are you a skankmonkey like Blair?" Margaret asked snatching on her hair.

"I'm not!" Evangeline said wincing. "Todd's my client and friend, nothing more!"
Margaret thought it over. She looked back at John "Drop the gun!" she shouted again releasing the safety on the gun she had pressed against Evangeline's temple.

John lowered the gun to the floor and then kicked it over to Margaret's foot. Margaret shoved Evangeline to the couch and picked up the gun. She smiled at them both triumphantly as Evangeline sat up straight wincing from the way she strained the muscle in her ankle when Margaret pushed her down.

"Now move away from the door!" Margaret said instructing John to step away. He nodded keeping his hands up. A great sense of relief came over him because the guns were pointed at him and not Evangeline.

Margaret kept the guns in both hands trained on John as she moved her way to the front door. She looked over at Evangeline "Tell Todd, that I will be contacting him soon with instructions on how and where to meet me and TJ. If I hear about this visit on the news I'll be forced you to teach you some lessons that I had to show Blair, and I won't be as generous as I was then."

John shook his head "You have to know that you can't get away with this. You killed a man, woman and baby among other things. Plus you're a mother think about your child!"

Margaret's eyes grew wide "You jerk I didn't kill that woman and baby! Spencer got bodies from the morgue stupid cop! As for getting away with it, I'd say I'm smarter than you since I got your gun asshole!" she said grinning manically.

"Besides I do all of this for TJ! He means the world to me and his daddy. That's why I will get away with this. It's our destiny" she said backing out. "Don't try to follow me because I will shoot, and shoot to kill!"

John watched her disappear into the hall. Turning he rushed to the door to follow "John no! Please don't, she's crazy…"

He stopped and looked back at Evangeline "I have to go after her, you'll be okay wait here" he said sweetly

"NO! NO!" she screamed shaking her head wildly and John saw the stress from the experience was causing her to breakdown. Going to her he pulled her sobbing into his arms. "Okay, okay I won't go…." He said rocking her.

She clung to him "I don't want to die!"
"You won't die, I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry you had to go through this all over again"

Several minutes passed as he calmed her. "I have to at least call it in, okay?"
Evangeline nodded letting him go. John rose and went to the phone in the kitchen looking back over his shoulder at the fear still in her eyes. .

"Bo, it's John Margaret was here at Evangeline's" he said closing the front door and then going back into the kitchen with the long phone cord.

"What? Is she okay?"

"Yeah but she has my gun, and she got away"

"What is she driving, where did she go?"

John went to the window of the place and saw nothing on the street "I couldn't follow her, I'm sorry I don't know"

"I'll send some officers over there right away!" Bo said alarmed.

John looked over at Evangeline who had her face in her hand with her head bowed. "Bo do me a favor, let me take care of her. We will come in, in the morning to give you a statement. She's been through a lot"

"Sure John, whatever you say. I'm sending a unit over there to keep an eye on her place, he won't disturb her. Have you seen Manning?"

John sucked his teeth leaning against the counter. "Yeah, he was here earlier. I think he's staying at the Palace not the Penthouse."

"Fine, I get some units to both places. She hasn't gone far."
"I agree. Thanks"
"No problem, bring her in the morning."
"Sure thing"

John hung up, blowing out a frustrated breath he ran his hand through his hair. Evangeline was sitting back on the couch now with her head tilted back and eyes closed. Going to the drawer next to the sink he got out a ziploc bag. Opening the freezer he scooped up ice cubes to fill the bag with.

John went to Evangeline and smiling softly "Hey you okay?"
She looked up at him "Never ends does it?" she asked trying to stop shivering, the fear of that gun pressed to her head made her life once again flash before her eyes. John sat on the coffee table in front of her lifting her bandaged foot. "It does baby, this visit wasn't your fault."

"How did you know she was here?"
"I didn't, I came back to beg to some more….heard you two arguing outside of the door." He said looking up at her sheepishly massaging her ankle.

Evangeline smiled "Glad you did"

"Does it hurt?"
"Only when I smile" she said softly chuckling
He smiled at hearing her humor return, he didn't want her tortured any further. Rolling up her jean pant leg he applied the ice to the outside of her bandaged foot. She stared at him "Thank you for saving my life"

John looked directly into her eyes "Care to tell me about this spelling bee?"
She frowned "What?"
"After Todd saved your life he made a comment that stuck with me. A comment he repeated here earlier today. I knew that you two were close because of the near death experience and I figured that remark was related to it. For a long time it made no sense, now it does. Especially after you told me of your father's demands for excellence, so tell me about the spelling bee…"

Evangeline stared at him. "Why? We almost died tonight John."

Lowering his voice he looked at her with love. "I know that sweetie, tonight you went through another horrific event and I don't want you to dwell on it. I want you to open up to me and let me back in so I can help you through your fears. Simply because I love you."

Evangeline told him of what her childhood was like and how great her accomplishments made her feel when she saw them through her daddy's eyes. The difference being that he is no longer at her side to keep count and being the perfectionist that excels no longer satisfies her.

John massaged her ankle with one hand keeping the ice on it with the other. The pain began to subside and she relaxed under his touch. John told her of the good memories with his dad, fishing and going to Yankee Stadium. Soon the horror of Margaret's visit subsided and she felt safe in his company.

Rising he lowered her foot and went to the door and locked it. Evangeline watched him confused. "What are you doing John?"

"I'm putting you to bed." He said taking the icepak to the sink.

Evangeline sat up staring at him in disbelief. "That's not necessary…"

"I think it is…I love you and you love me, finally that feels right" he said going to the sofa and scooping her up in his arms. "I won't spend another day without you in my arms."

She looked into his face as he lifted her effortlessly from the sofa. Slipping her arms around his neck she soften, and allowed him to carry her to her bedroom. He was right, and she wouldn't fight it any longer.

Christian pushed Layla's jacket from her shoulder and allowed his kisses to travel to her neck. "Chris, I don't think we should…"

"Stop thinking….stop talking" He moaned reaching between them and undoing the buttons to her shirt. Layla tilted her head back completely swept away from his touch. Bringing her face back to his she kissed him again passionately, feeling her feet leave the ground as he lifted her. She wrapped her legs around him holding on tightly.

As he carried her through the loft they devoured each other. He wanted to be free of his pain over lost love and she wanted to finally have a love of her own. Lowering her to the bed he stopped kissing her to stare down into her face "This isn't about Natalie or anything else. This right here is about you, the remarkable vibrant woman you are…"

Layla looked up into his brown eyes smiling "I don't want to get hurt…"
"I'll never let that happen…" he said seductively.

Running her fingers through his hair she smiled "You haven't been with a woman in a long time, have you?"

He chuckled "Is that a problem?"
She giggled "I hope not…"
Looking down at her, her blouse open revealing her lacy black bra and perfectly shaped breasts he blew out a deep lustful sigh "You are so beautiful I want you so bad…."
She pulled his face back up to hers "Then indulge yourself…." She whispered taking his tongue back into her mouth.

That was the approval he sought and with permission granted he acted on what he'd suppressed since she arrived at his door and she gave into it willingly.

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Chapter 14: Lost Souls

John kicked open Evangeline's bedroom door as they continued to gaze at one another. He moved slowly into her room careful of her foot and wrist. Evangeline ran her good hand through his hair and leaned her forehead against his, "I've missed this." She said softly as he lowered her down into the bed.
"Not as much as I've missed you." John whispered releasing his arms from around her body.

Evangeline sat up in the bed tucking her hair behind her ears as John moved across the room to her dresser, "Lavender or light blue?" he questioned pulling at her bottom drawer.
Evangeline smiled as she shifted on the bed, he still knew where everything was. "Blue." She said grinning. John nodded and pulled out her light blue silk pajamas and handed them to her. Setting them on the edge of the bed she shifted and lifted her arms above her head, "You mind, it's still a little sore." She said looking up at John.
"I don't think I should."
"I want you to."
John moved to stand between her legs and ran his fingers along the edge of her shirt bringing it up over her stomach. He sucked in a breath as his fingers grazed her stomach and inched the shirt over her round full breasts. John adverted his eyes looking down at the ground, still uncomfortable in what she was allowing him to do. Evangeline smirked as she watched his gaze move down to the floor. John pulled the shirt off over her head and threw it to the bed next to her.

Taking a step back he turned completely around as Evangeline slipped off her bra and put on the silk tank top to her pajama set. She unbuttoned her jeans watching as John fought the urge to turn to her and take her right then and there. "You mind?" she questioned trying to get John's attention.
"Never…" he mumbled turning back around to look at her.
Her hair scooped around the left side of her face fell gently across her collar bone and down over the top of her pajamas. The tops of her pants flared open revealing the soft black lace he was sure matched her bra. He knelt down in front of her as Evangeline raised up and slid her jeans off her hips and down her thighs. He placed her sore ankle on his shoulder as he rolled down her jeans and slipped them off. He did the same thing with the other leg and then stood taking a step back.

She smiled as she slipped her pants on and then turned into the bed. She threw the covers back on his side of the bed and nodded at it, "I don't think I should."
"Didn't you just tell me that you aren't going to spend another day without me in your arms. Today is that day John, get in…." she said patting the bed next to her.
John grinned that boyish smile and pulled his shirt over his head as he kicked off his shoes and socks. He pulled down his pants slowly watching her watching him and then walked around the bed to join her. Sliding into the crisp cool sheets he felt at home, "Just hold me tonight please." Evangeline whispered rolling over to wrap her arms around John's body.

John let his eyes close as his heart began to race from feeling her arms and legs drape over his body. He never thought after she left him that he would every have this feeling again. Opening his eyes slowly he stared at the ceiling of her room, one he would stare at many times when they were together and he couldn't sleep. A huge weight had finally been lifted off his shoulders when he told her about Kelly and how that deeply affected him. All that was left was to find his father's killer and to heal with her.

Evangeline tightened her grip on John as she kissed the underside of his chin and felt his hand run up and down her back and then through her hair, "This…. This is right where I belong." John said looking down at her.
"You better believe it McBain." Evangeline said with a light laugh.
The sweet sounds of her laughter filled his ears and his heart slowed down to a restful state. He could hear Evangeline's breath slow and her light snore started to fill the air as she drifted off to sleep in his arms. John continued to play in her hair wondering how in the world he got back to this point, of being in her arms and having her love. He had done everything to drive her away and fall into the darkness, but as soon as she went missing he knew that it was the light where he belonged. The light that was only present when she freely and openly gave herself to him, the light where he freely and openly gave himself to her.

Settling into a restful sleep one he hadn't had since she left him John felt calmed by the presence she brought, the soft sounds of the street noise filled the room as his eyes fluttered close.

Layla let her head tilt back as Cris pressed his body deep into hers. It had been a long while for the both of them, she clawed at his back trying to free him of his shirt. Cris sat up and smiled down at her as he pulled his shirt off, "Let me help you with that." He said as a smirk crossed his lips and he threw it to the side.

She sat up on her elbows running her finger tips across his rippled chest and defined abs. Cris grabbed her hand and brought it slowly up his chest circling his nipples before sliding her fingers into his mouth. He sucked on them seductively as he watched for reaction.

Layla swallowed hard and let her mouth slowly open and her tongue moved over her lower lip as she watched Cris's eyes gaze into hers and the feeling of his tongue circled her fingers. He pulled her fingers free and pushed her back onto the bed. Layla laughed as Cris moved down her and unbuttoned her pants and pulled them free. He positioned himself over her and parted her legs with his free hand and moved slowly down her body kissing and running his tongue over her navel. Layla gasped and threw her head back against the pillows as Cris moved to kiss her inner thighs.

Pushing her silk panties aside Cris licked his lips and slowly dove into her center. Layla tried to move back from him as Cris grabbed her hips and pulled her back. She squirmed under him as he stuck his tongue deeper into her, taking in all of her. She moaned and groaned his name as he gently sucked on her clitoris. Layla felt her impending orgasm and let it go shocking both herself and Cristian. She panted heavily as he climbed up and pushed her knees apart.

Cris climbed back up and ran his hands over her breasts freeing them of her bra. Her breasts bounced into his view and Cris said a silent prayer thanking his lucky stars that he had a real woman in his bed. Lowering his face he kissed the inside of her breasts before giving each pointy nipple the attention it so sought. He felt Layla raise her hips up pushed her panties off and then moved to pull at Cris's boxers. His throbbing member released from the constraint of his boxers and he grabbed Layla's butt raising her up to dive deep into her center. He gasped at the overwhelming way they fit together.

The thrusts slow and deliberate sent Layla closer to the edge with no sign of being released. Cris moved slowly against her hips circling his in a slow motion. He pulled at Layla's leg raising it high in the air as he thrusted into her further. Her flexibility shocked him as her leg stayed high in the air and he was able to command her body in ways he never knew were possible.

Her moans grew louder with each thrust as she wrapped her leg around Cris's waist pushing him deeper into her. He fell on to her chest grunting into her ear, how good she felt, and how he knew this was right, how right it felt to be in her arms. Layla tilted her head back and squeezed her walls around his member bringing them both to climax. He shot into her with such force that the bed hit the back wall in a loud thud. Releasing her leg from around his waist Layla let out a deep satisfied moan and rubbed his back.

Cris rolled over to the side, his hair in his face, his breath heavy and labored he stared at the ceiling and then looked over to Layla who a soft smile on her lips. He leaned over and kissed her lips softly and slid his tongue into her mouth, wanting to taste her again. Her hand went into his hair pulling his face closer to hers as she indulged in the feeling of his tongue in her mouth, his soft hands on her hot flesh. Pulling back Cris stared down at her, "This isn't just a one time rebound thing you know that right."
Layla ran her fingers through Cris's hair and down his face and shoulder, "I know…" she said softly before kissing him again.

Later that night

"NO!" Evangeline screamed as she shot up out of the bed. Looking to her left she didn't see John and then looked out into her room. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room and saw John walking over to her, "What!" he said nervously sitting down next to her.
"I had a nightmare, and I almost lost you." she said throwing her arms around her neck.
"I'm here, I'm right here." he said stroking her back and hair.

Eva pulled back and kissed him softly, "What were you doing all the way over there?"
John looked over his shoulder and then back at her, "I don't know…" he mumbled.
"I thought you would hold me all night?"
"I tired, something just didn't feel right?"
"Oh…" Evangeline lowered her head and pulled her feet to her chest.
"It's not you…" he said softly as he caressed her face with the back of his hand, "It's me, I guess I just…"

Evangeline looked up at him her eyes glistening with tears, "Are you sure you want this."
"What's this?"
"You and I, us…"
John smiled and kissed her lips lightly, "There is one thing I know for certain in my life."
"What's that?"
"That I love you, and I want you. I just don't know if you feel as strong as I do."
Evangeline brushed her nose against his and smiled, "I need you John, more than you realize. It may not be the same as…"

John put his finger to her lips to silence her, "She's not in our lives anymore. If she can't respect how I feel about you then I have no use for her."
"But you love her."
"No, I care about her. Her life was a mess because of me, and my life was a mess because of me. But that is all going to change."
"How?"
"I have what I've longed for, for so very long."
"What's that." Evangeline questioned as she ran her fingers through his hair.
"You're love… I finally can learn to love myself because I have you."
"I'm always going to be here John."

He pulled back and stared at her, "You said that last time, and you still left me."
"There's a difference now…"
"What's that?" he questioned tilting his head to the side as his eyes roamed from her head over her eyes and lips down to the swell of her breasts and back up.
"You love me…" she said grinning.
"I do, I do love you."
"Show me…" Evangeline said softly raising her arms in the air.
"What?"
"I need you to show me John. It's been so long for the both of us, show me you love me. Let's heal together…" She said scooting back on the bed. "Make love to me John."

John stood from the bed and leaned over pulling up the night shirt and laying it on the bed. Evangeline pushed the covers from around her body and laid back on the bed. She watched as John moved around and crawled back into bed with her. He laid next to her and Evangeline turned to gaze upon him, John ran his hands down her face and over her shoulder with the tips of his fingers before cupping her breasts, "Are you sure about this?" he said tenderly as he rested his forehead against hers.
"Make love to me John, show me you love me…"
"You and only you." He said kissing her lips softly. Evangeline melted against his body as his arm pulled her close and his tongue found it's way into her soft mouth. His eyes squeezed shut as he relished in the way her nipples brushed against his chest. He could feel his member start to throb as he moved slowly against her. Evangeline smiled through the kiss as his hand traveled down her bare back and into her pants.

Holding her tighter as John pressed himself deeper into Evangeline pushed John onto his back and broke the kiss. She laid against his chest kissing him slowly down his neck. Her hair grazed across his body sending shock waves through his flesh as her kisses moved down his chest. Pushing up on his elbows Evangeline trailed kisses down his chest and onto his stomach. She pulled at his boxer shorts pushing them down as she crawled back up to his level.

John watched closely as she positioned herself on top of him and stroked his member room behind. His hands ran slowly over her hips and thighs still in shock that she was here and this was real, "This is real right?" John asked running his hands over her breasts as he massaged them slowly. Evangeline nodded as she grabbed the base of his member and slid down onto it. She arched her back placing her hands on his lower legs as she rocked back and forth on his lap

He let his hands move wherever they desired as she continued to move slowly over his lap remembering what it was like to love him, to make love to him once more. "Evangeline…." John moaned looking up at her.
She smiled and moved her head to look at him, "mmmm…" She groaned as her motions picked up pace. Looking down at John she stopped suddenly as she caught his eyes staring intently back at her. The look was one she had never seen before and she held his powerful gaze. He gripped her hips and moved her back and forth as he continued to hold her gaze.

John held her tightly as Evangeline started her movements again rocking back and forth slowly and seductively still holding John's intense gaze. She mouthed she loved him as her mouth fell open from the pleasure rippling through her body. John closed his eyes and rose up and wrapped his arms around her body pushing himself deeper into her. He missed the feeling of being at home in her body, he never felt more loved and desired than in this moment. Pulling back some Evangeline rested her forehead against his and her mouth against his as they breathed in and out together in unison.

John slowed the motions of their love making as he rocked and bounced her on his lap trying to become a part of her, body, mind and soul. The grunts John emitted as he made love to the only woman that filled the whole in his heart after Caitlyn, filled the air. Evangeline turned her head to the side as John buried his head in her neck and fell back against the bed holding her tightly to his chest. She moved her hips and body faster over him, letting her walls vibrated with such intensity she was overwhelmed that she still hadn't orgasmed yet.

John rolled them over careful of her wrist and ankle and rose up to stare down into her eyes. Throwing his head back John grabbed her knee and pushed it against her chest as he pumped in and out of her, enjoying the warmth and love that she provided. Her back arched and John slid his arm underneath her as Evangeline wrapped her legs around his waist digging her heels into his lower back, "Oh God…" She cried out as John pushed deeper into her. "John…oh…god… Please….don't… stop…." She moaned as he thrusted back and forth into her.

John lowered his face to capture Evangeline's lips in a searing kiss and to silence her moans, and cries of ecstasy. Evangeline clawed at his back digging her nails into John's back as her walls shook and quaked around his member. Kissing him harder as he felt her stomach tighten from the orgasm she finally released as John released her. He watched her body quake under the force of her orgasm and released as well. Letting go of all the passion, desire, and love he had pent up over the past months John collapsed onto her chest panting heavily as he kissed her neck over and over again.

He lavished in the feeling of still being inside of her as Evangeline stroked his back and ran her fingers through his hair. John snuggled against her ear as he moved slowly from on top of her. He rested his arm across her bare chest as Evangeline turned her head to face his. John looked at her with tired eyes, "I love you, you know that right." She said softly letting her fingers travel the outline of his face.
"Yes, and I love you and only you…" he said kissing her finger tips as they grazed across his lips. Evangeline let her eyes flutter close at the feeling his lips on her finger tips. She rested her forehead against his as her breathing slowed. He held her close running his fingers up and down her hips her flesh still sticky with the sweat of their love making. "I'm going to prove to you, that I love you and only you…. I'll do whatever it takes to make you believe in me, in us again. I need that, I need you."

"I need you too John, I will always need you." Evangeline whispered kissing his lips. John's soft smile spread against his lips and Evangeline felt it too as her lips spread into a smile. "Good..." he said as let his lips brush against her neck and then drifted off to sleep wrapped in the security of her arms, the loving embrace that would always let him truly sleep.

"Good morning…" Cris said sitting on the edge of the bed holding a cup of coffee under Layla's nose. She stretched and looked up at him as she ran her hands through her tangled hair, "Morning." She said shyly pulling up the sheets to cover her naked body.
"It's not like I haven't seen it." Cris said with a smirk as he stood up and got back into bed next to her.
"It's just…." She stuttered and sipped the coffee, "Wow this is good."
"It's what happens from working in a diner so long."
"Thanks." She mumbled lowering her head and setting the coffee down next to the bed. "I should get going." Layla reached for her bra and slipped it on as Cris watched her from behind.

He moved in letting his lips graze across her back and neck, "I meant what I said last night." He whispered against her ear before sucking slowly on the lobe.
Layla moved away from Cris as she slipped her panties on and searched for her shirt and pants, "Where are you going." Cris said with a raised eyebrow.
"I have to get to work."
"At least have breakfast with me."
"You don't have to do that." Layla said looking over her shoulder as she slipped her pants on.
"It's not a choice, sorry." Cris hoped out of the bed and grabbed some clothes. "The diner sound good?"
"Umm…. Okay?" Layla said softly as she buttoned her shirt back up.
"Great, give me a few, gotta brush my teeth."
"Okay."

Evangeline felt his kisses travel around her neck and collar bone as her eyes opened to the light of a new day. She played in John's hair and he looked up and winked at her, "Morning beautiful." He said his eyes sparkling with something new in them.
"Morning handsome." She spoke kissing his lips. "Hey you cheated…"
"What?"
"You're breath… it's minty fresh." She said laughing.
"I had to go to my apartment and get something."
"What's that?"
John moved back and pulled Evangeline up from the bed. He moved behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder, "Close your eyes." He said softly.
"Why?"
"For me…"
Evangeline closed her eyes and John leaned forward to make sure they were closed, "Good." He pulled the pearls from behind his back and fingered them in his hands. "You told me once to give these to the person I loved, and I told them I gave them to you."
"John…" she said as she felt his hands move her hair from around her neck.
"Shhh….In my own way I was telling you that I loved you, I was trying so hard even then to say the words. Now they come so easily it's because I know that in my heart of hearts that I will always love you and I feel whole now that I can say that."

Evangeline felt her eyes well with tears as they finally trickled down her face as she felt the cool gems fall upon her neck. John clasped the necklace and kissed her back lightly where they rested. Evangeline raised her fingers and turned to look at John, "Right where they belong." He said letting his fingers graze against her neck and collar bone.
Speechless Evangeline nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck kissing his shoulder over and over again.

Caressing the back of her hair John held her close and smiled as he felt her tears drop on to his shoulder, "Happy tears right?"
"You better believe it McBain."
"Good… I'm starved why don't we go to the diner before I take you into the station to give your statement."
"You'll be there with me right?"
"Every step of the way." He said kissing her nose.
Evangeline giggled and hoped up out of the bed and hobbled to the shower. Winking at John she ducked into the bathroom and stared the water. John ran his fingers through his hair laughing softly as he heard the soft melodious sound of her voice float through her bedroom. He missed this, all of it.

John held onto Evangeline's hand tightly as they stepped into the diner. He slipped off her coat and hung it up as Evangeline stopped in the middle of the diner staring. John turned and almost ran into Evangeline as his gaze found what she was staring at, "Is that your sister?"
"With Cristian." Evangeline said stunned. She looked back at John and they both strolled over to the table. Crossing her arms over her chest she looked down at her baby sister holding hands with Cristian Vega and leaning in so close they could kiss. Evangeline let out a cough when Layla and Cris didn't look up to see them. Layla pulled her hand back and placed it on her lap, "Are those the same clothes you had on yesterday, and aren't you supposed to be at work?" She said narrowing her eyes onto her sister.

John laughed softly and rocked back and forth on his heels as he slid his hand around Evangeline's waist, "Be nice." He said laughing and whispering in her ear.
"Yeah be nice! Listen to the man!" Layla said glaring at her sister.
"Care to explain what's going on here." Evangeline questioned pointing between her sister and new found friend.
"I don't have to explain anything to you!" Layla snapped shaking her head.

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