Disclaimer: I do not own this show in any way or form. If I did, I would've rallied with the staff to overthrow the evil men who got it canceled.
Author's Note: This just came to me last night. At 10:43 PM, I just got one phrase of this story in my mind and immediately wanted to write it. To all my fans of my other stories that may be reading this one, don't worry- I'm still writing them, just at a slow pace. It's been hard to fit writing into my life lately, and I'm glad I'm doing so again.
A small note on the italics. There are some moments when it's used to emphasize some things, others when it is used as a flashback. Several moments, however, are neither. I'm not telling what they mean, but see if you can figure it out before it's explained in the story.
This story takes place after 'Things Change'. It's a One-Shot, so no one ask for an update, all right?
Memories
"You look in the mirror, but someone else looks back. You remember a life you never had, one that cannot be yours. You are the piece that doesn't fit, you don't belong in the game. The board has been knocked over, you shall be swept away…"
-El Goonish Shive, Wednesday, October 2, 2002 issue
Two crystal blue eyes sprung open in fright. They darted around fearfully, taking in their surroundings. A bright golden sun rained down rays of warmth onto the Earth. Green trees and foliage were abundant- everywhere- and creatures played in them, scampering and racing. The scene was one of joy and happiness.
An ice-cold field, almost frozen in time- no signs of life. Blue cold leaves cracked off once luscious trees, falling to the rigid grass below and shattering into a thousand shards. Clouds held the sun in their icy grip, keeping it from view.
The girl the eyes belonged to smiled softly. Just as she'd left it.
The world was an odd place- she'd found that out only seconds after waking up. Memories had run throughout her mind like a stream of water cascading through her brain. The light had tickled her face and made her blink, the air gave her skin a prickly sensation. Everything was familiar, yet different. She left like she'd been walking and smiling and breathing just the day before, but she knew that was impossible. The memories- those damn cursed memories- told her otherwise. Because of them, she knew she was a horrible, horrible person, but a hero as well. Because of them, she knew she'd known the greatest life had to offer her, but also the worst. Because of them, she knew she'd had a great power, but a terrible curse. Because of them- because of them,- she knew she'd had wonderful friends, but an evil master as well. Memories… Those damn memories…
She knew she was in the wrong place as soon as she'd registered life again. She was supposed to be in a rocky cave, but she was in a warm and sunny, bright, happy- cold and icy- canyon. That wasn't right. She'd been imprisoned- more like died- in a cave, surrounded by lava. She'd died and then… and then…
More memories. People came and left. Seasons changed. Everything was a jumble- nothing in order. She remembered everything and yet nothing. She knew every single moment, but not in the order she needed. Her friends- they still called themselves that?- told her things, but none of them made sense. She knew everything, but… The last few moments… They were lost…
Memories. They'd done her no help at all. She knew who she was, but they didn't help her get to where she belonged at all. She didn't even know where she was. For weeks, she'd been wondering around, trying to find a familiar site. She'd found many, but not in the right places. She saw the old pizza place, - a run-down building- Ben's café, -a rusted shack, slowly collapsing- the bank she'd helped save, -the house of a frightened child who never slept- and even the amusement park she'd gone to with Beastboy, her dear, dear friend –a graveyard filled with mourners-. But they were all mixed. She knew she was in Jump City, or at least somewhere close to it, but everything was all wrong! Titans Tower, it should be there! It should-
The girl started walking. The girl knew everything about her life before the stone. She'd lived with her parents and older brother and sister in a little town. She didn't have much, but she had them.
"I wanna see her!"
"Shh. Stop crowding, all right?"
"What's her name, Mama?"
"We've decided to call her Tara."
Tara… When she'd started traveling, she'd changed it to Terra- still the same, yet different. When she'd started traveling… After they died…
Because of me.
The girl- Terra- continued her walk. People smiled and waved –stared at her in wonder- but none of them talked to her. She'd tried asking about Titans Tower before, but they'd looked at her strangely. She felt oddly out of place when they did that, but she continued on her way. She remembered life on the road. She'd traveled everywhere. People liked her. She'd been easy to get along with. But then they hated her. All of them did. She ended up killing people they knew; she'd gotten quite a number of bruises from them.
She didn't care, though, because the next part of her life was the one that really interested her. She'd met the Titans- people like her- and they'd become her friends. Life was odd after that. To make a long story short, she met her master, Slade, ran away, trained with him, betrayed her friends, got betrayed by Beastboy- Beastboy…-, turned into a villain, took out her friends single-handedly, was struck down by them, betrayed- Slade, that madman-, and become a hero, all in the span of a few months. So much. It was almost hard to take in when she'd first remembered it, but she'd somehow managed and decided to make her way back to the Titans- Robin, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, and Beastboy, oh, definitely Beastboy- and… and then what? Do something, she knew that. Talk to them, make amends, anything. She couldn't leave it as it had been.
Terra walked on, out of the warm, sunny –cold, dark- field- more like a park, actually- and into the city. Jump City was different. Same buildings, different places. No Tower…
The geomancer walked on, whistling a soft tune to herself. People walked past her, like wax dolls, not caring where they were going –watching her every move. She'd done this for the past few weeks- walked, that is. She'd eaten at random places, finding money in her pockets so suddenly. She assumed people just thought she was some sort of hobo, but why didn't the recognize her? That's what made Terra so confused. She would think they'd have recognized her, at least after all she'd done.
Terra wasn't completely sure how, but when she'd woken up, she found herself dressed in her old Titans uniform, goggles and all. She was sure she would've been in the outfit she was in when she was petrified in the stone, not that she really wanted to be. It was just odd. She decided to think nothing of it, though. Her whole life was odd, after all.
Terra sighed to herself as she spotted another building out of place. Why was the city so different? She couldn't have been away for that long, could she? She decided to rest for awhile, so she leaned against a black metal fence. She frowned deeper.
"When did this get here?" She wondered aloud. She turned around out of pure curiosity and gasped. "A school!" She didn't remember that either! She read the name off the front. "'Murakami School.'" She crossed her arms. "What's going on here?"
A bell rang and students poured out from the building like stampeding bison. They chatted and giggled with their friends. One girl, however, caught Terra's eyes. She had short black –long blonde- hair and crystal blue eyes like hers. Their eyes met for a moment, like friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time. That's when it happened.
"Titans, Go!"
The yell echoed throughout the streets. Terra knew it anywhere. She spun around and grinned excitedly.
"It's them!" Her cry was lost in the crowd of people, some stopping and others continuing on their ways. The girl she'd seen earlier paused, as if debating whether to stay or not.
Lo and behold, they were there. The Titans, the protectors of Jump City. There they stood, gleaming in the sunlight. A large white creature stood in front of them. Terra hadn't remembered that, either. The Titans charged the creature, and as they did, it changed into the concrete below it. Terra gasped.
"It can change itself!" She breathed, almost fascinated.
The battle played out before her eyes. The flying Tamareanian, Starfire, zoomed down close to the creature and threw Star-bolts at its feet, trying to knock it off balance, so it appeared. The creature, however, seemed unfazed. Through the dust Starfire's blasts, Cyborg came like an ox, punching the creature with his sonic cannon. Or, he attempted to; the creature grabbed his arm and swung him in a circle into a nearby building. Robin now through a freeze disc at the creature. It swung out its right arm to block its body. The disc collided with its arm and froze it in cold ice. Robin delivered a strong kick to the arm and shattered it.
What happened next confused Terra to no end. The creature suddenly re-grew its stone arm and tried to knock Robin out with it, but the Boy Wonder back-flipped away. The creature ran at Raven, who put up a shield to block it. She blocked every hit the creature got, giving Beastboy, in rhino form, a chance to ram into it. The thing was smart, though. Just as Beastboy was a foot away from it, it turned from Raven and swung its arms like bats and slammed into his head, sending him spiraling to the side of the street where Terra stood.
"Beastboy!" Terra cried, taking a step toward him. Beastboy turned to look at her, as did the girl from before. Both gave her the same odd looks everyone else did. Why did they do that?
At that moment, Terra realized something- the creature was stone! She could help! Terra smirked and focused her powers on the thing before her. It glowed a dim yellow and rose into the air. With a twitch of her wrists, the creature flew far, far away. Terra put her hands on her hips, proud of herself. She glanced toward the four Titans across the street. They gaped at her in astonishment. Terra expected as much. She then looked at Beastboy and the girl and- what? She blinked. The girl, for a moment, looked just as she did! This moment ended and she saw Beastboy, confused and- what was that emotion?- hurt?
Terra took a step towards him slowly. "Beastboy? What's wrong?" Stupid, stupid question.
Beastboy leaped up, taking a step back from her. "B-but…" He turned to the girl behind him, "y-you're," he looked back at Terra, "and she has,"
The girl frowned and began to say something, but stopped.
What was going on?
The other Titans had made their way across the street by now. Raven had a look in her eyes that freaked Terra out especially. The others were looking at her and the other girl in confusion, especially Starfire.
"Friend Beastboy," the alien girl started softly, "is this the girl you told us you saw?" She gestured to the other girl, who looked away nervously. Beastboy nodded. "Then why does this girl have Friend Terra's powers?"
Terra's mouth dropped open. "But I am Terra!" She yelled.
Silence. No one said a word.
Terra broke it. "Can't you tell? It's me! I know it's a little unexpected but I'm back! I really am!" She waved her arms around.
Robin's eyes narrowed.
"Rob?" Cyborg asked.
Robin nodded. He addressed the two non-Titans in front of him. "Both of you are coming with us to the Tower."
Part of Terra was confused, but part of her danced inwardly. The Tower! She got to go back to the Tower!
But the girl protested, "What! You can't make me go with you!"
Robin turned his harsh gaze to her. "You're coming with us." He said flatly. "This involves you, whether you want to believe it or not."
The girl backed away slowly. Terra felt sorry for her. She would've said something to Robin, too, but Beastboy got there first.
"Take it easy, Robin!" The changeling stepped in front of the girl and Terra felt a sudden jealousy over take her. "This isn't her fault!"
Terra frowned. "Would someone please tell me what's going on here?"
Raven now inserted herself into the conversation. "I don't think you should be asking us that question."
Terra glared at the dark-haired girl. "Why not?"
Robin put his hands up before an argument could start. He turned to Terra. "You'll explain everything at the Tower," he then looked at the girl, "and you'll come with."
The girl could do nothing but nod nervously. Beastboy looked at her warily and coughed a bit.
"I can fly you there if you want." He offered.
I don't believe this! Terra almost cried, hurt and angry. How could he just-
The girl turned away from him, though, looking at the ground. She started following Cyborg, who was walking to the T-Car. "I'll go with him." Her voice was dry and emotionless.
Beastboy seemed to sink, saddened. Terra had only seen him act this way when he was with her, so why…? Terra walked toward him, reaching out a hand. He suddenly turned into a hawk and flew toward the Tower. Either he hadn't seen her or he'd just ignored her- Terra wasn't sure which. Raven gave her a hard look before levitating herself and flying after the green Titan. Robin had already started on his way and Cyborg had just begun driving with the girl in his car. Starfire gave Terra one long look before taking to the sky after her friends. Terra followed on a slab of earth, but felt completely and truly alone.
The trip to the Tower was odd. She just saw the Titans in front of her- none of the scenery around. It was like traveling through a wormhole, she supposed; just a bright light swirling on all sides. The Tower, however, looked just as it always had. She smiled in spite of the situation. She felt home.
They all met in what could be called the main room, the kitchen, the living room, anything. Terra sat by herself on the far side of the couch. Starfire sat in the middle, closer to her than any of the others, and Cyborg sat on the far side. Raven was off toward the entrance to the room, still keeping a close eye on Terra, while the girl from earlier sat at the kitchen area, lost in thought. Beastboy sat close to her, but not close enough to make her uncomfortable. Robin stood in front of Terra, pacing a hole into the floor. She'd told them her story, but they wouldn't buy it. They even thought the girl- that plain, ordinary girl- was her! How could they be any more crazy?.!.
"Look," Terra said, standing up. "I told you what happened- I remember waking up in a canyon."
"Why did you not come and look for us when you awoke?" Starfire asked hesitantly.
"I tried!" Terra cried. "I looked everywhere, but Jump City had changed so much! Everything's different!"
"And why didn't you ask anyone how to get here?" Cyborg said skeptically.
Terra groaned. "I did! I told them who I was and asked them how to get here, and they just stared at me!" What was wrong with them? She was back! Why didn't they believe it was really her?
Beastboy's voice came next, raspy and soft. "Then why don't you look like her?"
Terra tried to talk, but her voice box wouldn't work. She stood there, her mouth open and closing like a fish. She swallowed hard. "Wh-what do you mean?" She asked fearfully. "Of course I look like her! I-I am her!" Terra looked around at the other Titans. They no longer looked at her with skepticism, but pity. Pity? "What's wrong with you guys! I'm Terra! I-I'm Terra!"
She laid eyes on the girl-
A face looked back at her like a mirror. Crystal blue eyes, long corn-silk hair, a small nose, round lips. She was looking at herself.
The girl was the way she was before again and Terra backed away slowly, her eyes wide and shocked. "Wh-who are you?" She looked around at the Titans. "You think she's me?.!. What the hell is wrong with you?.!." She continued to back away. She was shaking now. "I-I'm Terra!" She turned to Beastboy. "You have to believe me, Beastboy!" Silence and a sad face answered her. "You have to!" Her eyes pleaded- begged- him. "The night I betrayed you, we went out on a date!" She was desperate. "We went to an amusement park! We almost-" Terra trembled and staggered. "We almost-"
She looked down at her shaky palms and then back at the Titans. Her legs collapsed beneath her and the floor rushed up…
Head. Throbbing… Voices?
"I've scanned her mind, and it's true that she has Terra's memories," Raven, definitely Raven. "But there are more in her head I can't decipher; they're all cluttered around- nothing's in order."
"I've taken a DNA sample, and it says it's not her." Cyborg now. "But Beastboy's friend over here matches perfectly."
"Hey!" The girl- the one they called her. "There's no way I'm the person you say I am. I know what it looks like, but-"
"Relax, please," Starfire's soothing tone. "We are merely running through what we know. We do not know why you and Terra have the same DNA." A pause. "Though you do look like her very much."
"How do we know who really is her?" Beastboy cut in, sounding almost angry.
A sigh, one from the leader. "I don't know. While that person in there insists she is Terra, her story is pretty unbelievable. She said she woke up in a canyon and has been sleeping in the park, but how could she? After Icicle attacked the city, it's been freezing outside; she wouldn't have slept in the middle of the park."
"In any case," Raven's voice again, "she's an odd girl. She looks nothing like Terra, but she acts like her. She seems to have all her memories, but they aren't in order, and several don't fit with what's really happened."
"Perhaps we could talk to this girl once more," Starfire suggested.
Terra blinked. She heard everything. They were right outside. She was in the Titans medical center, lying on a bed. Her head was aching… She couldn't take it. She gripped it tightly, groaning softly.
"Whatever we do, we need to hear more from, um…" Robin started to talk, but trailed off.
"My name is Ashley." The girl retorted. "Ashley Johnson. And for the record, my parents told me I've lived here all my life."
"'Your parents say'?" Beastboy asked.
Ashley responded, "I only remember high school."
"So you meant that?.!." Beastboy again.
"What did you think I meant?" Ashley rejoined. "I told you all I know." Her voice softened. "As I said before, I hope you really find your friend, but please, can I just go home?"
A long pause. "Yes." Beastboy was the one who answered, completely dejected.
Terra couldn't take it… The pounding! She pushed herself up, knocking over things on the table next to her. The window… It was right in front of her… Slowly… Slowly…
She ripped it open and pushed herself out, smiling as she fell. A boulder moved to catch her and she was vaguely aware of people calling to her, yelling. Her friends? No, she couldn't call them that anymore. To them, she was a different person. She wasn't Terra- she was some other girl. Not even Beastboy believed her…
She had to go away… She had to go far, far away…
A week had passed since the Titans had seen the girl who claimed to be Terra. She had flown so fast they didn't even know where to start looking. Who was she? Why did she have Terra's memories? They had no answer to these questions. Raven had shut herself in her room all week, hardly coming out. The other Titans had no idea why.
Beastboy, however, had done the same. He didn't come out at all, though. He seemed heartbroken all over again. Starfire had made several attempts to get him to come out, but none worked. He just said he wanted to be alone and the poor girl obliged.
The three Titans outside their rooms were quite surprised to find that night, when all the snow had finally thawed and the city was getting back to normal, when a loud knock came from the door. They answered it and were extremely surprised to find Ashley, standing at their door, panting heavily.
"I-I remember something!" She cried, walking in slowly. "Get Beastboy and Raven out- I remember something that can help you find your friend!"
Terra hadn't eaten in days. She'd been wondering again, but not really caring where. She wasn't sure how far she'd gotten from Jump City, only that everything was one big blur. She'd gone from city to city, passed by countless faceless people, and what did she find? Nothing. She had nowhere, no one.
She found herself in a very odd town. It was filled with crime and crooked men and women. She really didn't seem to care, though. She should've, but she didn't. That life was behind her now, right? … If it really was, then why did she feel like crying every time she thought of her old home?
Terra was so lost in thought that she didn't notice the men sneaking up behind her…
The little group all sat around Ashley, who drank a cup of hot chocolate on the couch. She glanced around at them and took a deep breath.
"When I first saw that girl who claimed to be your friend, I immediately recognized her from somewhere. I tried to forget about it, but it was driving me crazy! I started to get glimpses of times in my life. Just little things- my old friends, a dinner with my parents- stuff like that. However, a few nights ago, I recalled looking in a mirror." She took another drink of her hot chocolate. "I looked just like that girl does!"
"What?.!." Beastboy exclaimed.
Ashley nodded. "I had to be sure, so I asked my parents why we didn't have any pictures of me around the house, and they didn't tell me anything. I pestered and pestered until they finally cracked and showed me one."
"Was it…?" Cyborg started to ask.
Ashley looked him hard in the eyes. "Yes. It was. They told me I just came home that way a few months ago- they had no idea why, and when I woke up, I had no memory of what had happened. I just wondered home in a daze, completely naked, might I add. They enrolled me at a different school for good measures."
"How did they know it was even you?" Robin asked.
"I remembered a few things." Ashley responded. "My name, where I was born, some family secrets and such. And…" Ashley looked away. "Mom said she knew it was me… She told me… She told me when you love someone, you just know." She was silent for a moment. "Last night I had a dream. I think this is how I lost my memories in the first place…"
"…I was out with some other girls -I think they were my friends- a few months ago."
A group of three girls sat in the park, laughing and talking. One girl was a brunette with fair skin. Another was an orange-haired girl. Ashley was the last one.
The brunette said, "You know what we should do?'
"What?" The others questioned.
"We should go down to that cave," she turned to her friends. "You know, the one with the statue."
The orange-haired girl responded, "But isn't that Titan girl the statue? You know, the traitor?" She seemed to be acting, as if her words were rehearsed.
"Yeah!" The brunette nodded. "That's what they tell us at least! I think it's all a bunch of nonsense! One of us should go down there and prove the rumors false!"
Ashley rolled her eyes. "Please! Why should we? I mean, it's not like we'd be doing anything that great. Besides, how would we know?"
"There's a plaque." The brunette chimed. "If that's there, the statue's really a girl!"
Ashley shook her head. "I still say it's stupid. It's just a statue."
"Then you won't mind going down there, would you?" The orange-haired girl smirked.
"Huh?" Ashley blinked.
"Oh, yes," the brunette had a sly grin, "You can go down and tell us, right?"
"I don't really think I should." Ashley replied.
"But if you do this," The orange-haired one said, "We'll do anything you want all week!"
"…Anything?" Ashley asked.
"Anything!" The two girls responded.
Ashley eyed them. "Why do you two want to know so bad?"
The brunette cringed. "Um…"
The orange-haired girl looked away quickly.
Ashley stood up, grinning down at them. "What'd you two do this time?"
"It was just a bet!" The brunette cried. "We said we could find out without going down there ourselves!"
"And if you go, we won't be breaking the rules!" The orange-haired girl added with a bit of hopefulness.
Ashley sighed. "And you'll get 'The Usual' if you don't find out?" They both nodded. "Oh, fine."
The girl cheered and followed Ashley to the tunnel that led to the cave. When they arrived, the two thanked their friend repeatedly. Ashley sighed and walked inside. After a bit a trek, she found herself in a large chamber.
In the center stood a statue of a girl, looking as if she was standing a pedestal. Ashley walked up to her, staring in wonder. At her feet was a plaque, reading the inscription:
TERRA
A TEEN TITAN
A TRUE FRIEND
"Holy- she really was the Titan!" Ashley murmured in awe.She looked her up and down. "I wonder how she ended up like this…"
The ground beneath the girl suddenly began to shake and rumble. She grabbed the statue for support.
"What the-?.!." Ashley cried, gripping it tightly.
The statue began to crack, a yellow glow emitting from the grooves. It spread over the statue's entire body and then to Ashley's, making her gasp in surprise.
"Wh-what's-" She could say no more, as the light blinded her and she knew no more.
"…And then I woke up." Ashley finished.
The Titans all let the knowledge soak in slowly. Raven was the one who broke the silence.
"I've been researching revivals in my room lately," she started in a low tone. "It's possible when Terra's powers finally woke her up, you two switched bodies somehow." The other gawked at her. "Don't ask me how- it's only a possibility, and, at the moment, the most likely one. Perhaps even some of your mannerisms rubbed off on each other."
"That would explain why you reminded me so much of Terra." Beastboy muttered softly. His eyes lit up. "Terra!" He stood up and looked at his team. "If what Ravens suggests is true, then that means-!"
Starfire stood up. "We must find her at once!"
"We have no idea where she went, Star," Robin said sympathetically. "She could be anywhere."
Beastboy gazed at his team. "I'm not going to let her get any farther!" He cried, eyes wide. "I'm going to find her!" He dashed out of the room and then out of the Tower.
"Beastboy-" Robin yelled. He let out an annoyed sigh. "I'll call the other Titans across the country. We can ask some of them to help us look for her." He turned to Ashley, who sat silently on the couch. "Thank you. If this really is what happened… We may be able to find a way to get you into your own body and Terra back."
Ashley simply nodded, now looking at the floor.
Robin addressed his team. "Titans, come on! We should help too!"
They left the girl sitting alone in the room with only her thoughts to keep her company.
Terra's fist slammed into the face of a man who was trying to grope her. He and his buddy had snuck up behind her and tried to take her with them for only God knew what, but Slade's training had, she hated to say it, paid off. She'd fought off one of them, and then the other tried to get behind her. A lot of good that did him.
She took a defensive stance and bared her teeth angrily. "You really don't want to mess with me right now."
One of the men smirked and chuckled. "C'mon, pretty girl," he whipped some blood off his nose- maybe it was broken (served him right). "Why don't chya come with me an' meh buddy here t' have some fun, huh?" His words were slurred a bit; it may have been a result of the nose, or that may have been how he really talked. Terra wasn't sure.
The other man sneered at her. "This one fights, Jay- may be more trouble than she's worth."
"Aw, c'mon, Ty," The first one said, looking at Terra greedily. "Young, pretty girls are hard t' come by dese days." He grinned slyly. "We done all of 'em before."
Terra eyed the man disgustedly. "Come one step closer, and I'll smash your head in." Her eyes were narrow slits, her fists clenched tightly. Her voice was low and scratchy. The last few days hadn't been good to Terra at all; they'd brought out the beast in her, the part of her Slade had trained. Her fists took on a gold hue, foreshadowing disaster.
The first man chuckled again. "Lookit, Ty, she wan's t' fight us!"
The other man, Ty, took a step back as he observed the geomancer's hands. "Jay…"
"Wha'?" Jay responded, looking pointedly at his partner. Ty pointed at Terra's hands, but his attention was drawn to her eyes, eyes that now glowed harshly, illuminating the shadows on her face. "Holy-! Wha' da hell are you!"
Terra glared at them cruelly. "Terra. A Titan." How could she even say that? She'd threatened to kill these men and she still called herself a Titan?
Ty stared at her, bewildered. "You can't be a Titan! There aren't any Titans around here! Plus, I here that Terra girl's dead, and you don't look a thing like her!"
Terra glared at him, taking a menacing step forward. "I am Terra! Would everyone just stop saying I'm not!" The ground rumbled and shook. Pebbles clattered noisily. "I am Terra! I am!"
The two men, backed away from her slowly and then ran, tripping over themselves as they did. But whatever they did, it wouldn't help… It wouldn't help at all…
Light… It burned her soft eyes… It made them water and itch. Terra coughed and groaned, straining her muscles as she sat up. She lay on a table in a dark room with a single swinging light bulb above her.
"Wh-where am I?" She murmured frightened as she pushed herself off the table. "How'd I get here?" Her eyes were drawn to her hands, which- oh, God, her hands. Blood stained them, hugged them tightly. And they were just her hands as well. She was no longer wearing her gloves. "What's going?.!."
Resounding footsteps resonated throughout the room. The swinging light gave Terra a glimpse of a man with a diagonal scar ripping through his face from his left ear to his chin. "This is where you end up when you kill one of our men, girly."
"K-killed?" Terra choked. "N-no, I would never- I couldn't- I didn't kill anyone!" Irony seemed to be strangling the young girl, as the hot memory of Slade filled her mind.
The man took a few more steps around the room. "That's not what our friend tells us. He didn't say the how, but he was able to tell us the who." The light swung back so Terra could see the man's hate-filled face. "Of course, it doesn't really help him now. Whatever you did, you little monster, drove him mad."
"I am not a monster!" Terra cried, taking a step forward. She had to get out of there… She could use her powers to help her! She strained to feel the earth around her, but… Nothing! Her eyes scampered around the room in panic. "What's-?"
The man chuckled. "You trying to use that little 'talent' of yours, huh, kid? Ty did tell us you had that much. He couldn't say what it was, but he told us you had it, all right. We took the liberty of making sure you couldn't use it." The light showed the man gesturing to his neck.
Terra's hands felt up to her own to find a device almost like a collar constricting around it. How could she not have felt that? She pulled on it hard, her memories slowly washing over her, comparing the moment to Slade's horrific uniform she wore.
No control… No powers…
"We had to make sure you couldn't do that again, little missy." He'd moved from his previous spot so Terra could no longer see his face when the light bulb swung. "Now, why did you kill one of my men?"
Terra turned around in a circle, trying to find the man. "He tried to- he was going to-" Terra took a deep breath, shaking slightly, "Your man was going to 'have some fun', as I recall."
A low chuckle answered her. "That's what my men do with young girls around here, little freak."
"I'M NOT A FREAK!" Terra yelled, running toward the voice and swinging her fist. She felt skin and was satisfied to hear a thud a moment later. It seemed he was near the wall.
The light bulb swung once more, just in time for Terra to get a glimpse of the man's own fist before it slammed into her face. She fell backwards, her head colliding with the table. Bright stars blinked in front of her eyes before darkness embraced her in its icy arms.
Terra awoke hours later in a cold dark room. This one didn't have the comforting light from above. She could barely see anything as she stumbled around in the dark, trying to find a wall or a door. She eventually gave up and lay on the floor face down, feeling the cold concrete against her skin. It was oddly comforting to feel a form of rock. She shut her eyes and aloud a few warm tears to trickle from them. How could all of this have happened? She just wanted to go home…
Voices? Terra's ears twitched at the sound. She held her breath as they got louder.
"So what should we do with her?" Male, a voice she couldn't recall.
"I say we leave her in there." Another unfamiliar voice, a bit higher than the last one, but still male. "Serves her right for what she did to Ty and Jay."
"Maybe we should let her go." A soft voice, younger, maybe a few years older than Terra herself. "I mean, she's just a kid."
"Are you crazy, Dan?" A female one, hard. "That 'kid' killed one of your fellow gang members, one of your brothers! And the other- how can you even say something like that?"
"But she was just defending herself!" The younger voice spoke up again. "I mean, Ty and Jay wanted to do things to her- I think-"
A familiar sigh. "Dan, Dan, Dan…" The man from before! "Considering you're new here, I won't give you much grief, but you see this is our turf. When a new person drops out of nowhere, we gotta explain the rules to them in what ever way we can. When a new girl drops in, Ty and Jay give them a little 'welcoming'- that's just the way it is, understand?"
A pause. "But… Why does it have to be like that?" The younger voice questioned.
"Because," the man responded, "it just is. And you're going to learn to live by it. You want to make your old man proud, right?"
A longer pause. "Yes, sir… I do…"
"Good."
Footsteps started up and the voices began to fade. They continued on, chatting and discussing. Terra heard a small clang and glanced up, seeing two sad eyes stare down at her through a little hole.
"Dan! You coming!" The female voice called.
A gasp came from the eyes and they tore themselves away from Terra, the hole disappearing from view. "Yes, Rebecca! I'm coming!"
Loud footsteps. Terra was alone once more.
Days and days passed for Terra, each one slower than the last. She always woke up with a little food in front of her, and more was tossed in later, most likely at night. It was always bread and crackers and a cup of water. Not very filling, but it was something. Terra honestly didn't know when night began anymore. She'd gotten used to the darkness and now could see she was in a small room with no bed. The only thing in the room was a sink and toilet- thank God for that. No mirrors, no windows, no way to the outside world. She guessed there was a door, but she couldn't tell where it was; in any case, a small dog door was directly under the eye hole- no one had used it since the young boy, by the way- that was most likely how the food got into her cell.
Terra didn't know how long she'd been there exactly when it happened. Everything went by so fast. But she was glad it did.
Light flooded the room and Terra half-screamed, clutching her eyes in pain. She curled into a tiny ball and clawed at them, trying to stop them from watering.
"Shh." A soft voice entered her ears. "Keep it down. We don't want anyone to hear."
Terra opened her eyes for a second, but shut them immediately. "Y-you're the boy who looked in here…" She murmured in realization.
"Yes, now be quiet." He whispered, grabbing her arm. "I'm going to get you out of here, just stay quiet, all right?" He took her arm and pulled her to her feet. Terra saw him peek out the open door through her hands, which had planted themselves in front of her eyes at the moment. "Okay, come on!" He pulled her gently and led her down the hallway at a quick pace.
He was, indeed, only a few years older than Terra. He was a head and a half taller and his features seemed more defined than ones of someone like Robin or Beastboy. She couldn't tell the hair color or even his skin tone, as the light distorted any colors she saw and made her eyes scream.
"Why are you helping me?" Terra hissed out in a confused breath.
He turned back to look at her for only a second. "Because." He stated, leaving that as his answer. He opened his mouth to say more, but Terra never heard the full explanation. A loud yell cut him off.
"THIS IS THE POLICE! ALL PERSONS INSIDE THE BUILDING WILL COME OUT WITH THEIR HANDS UP!"
"Oh, shit!" The boy swore. He pulled Terra harder, breaking into a run. The geomancer stumbled in trying to keep up. "We have to get out of here, now!"
Terra couldn't get a good look around where she was running; she didn't even want to. She just wanted to get out of this horrible place.
Run, run, run.
The hallways twisted and turned. She heard yells and shouts from various people, from behind various doors.
Run, run, run.
"I REPEAT, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP IMMEDIATELY! WE WILL NOT HESISTATE TO SHOOT!"
Run, run, run!
The boy stopped abruptly, causing Terra to collide with him. She fell backwards and slowly pushed herself into a sitting position. She stared at him through her fingers. He was crouched down by the wall, fidgeting with something. He suddenly pulled away and yanked Terra forward just as a loud crash came from the direction they'd just came. Sounds of guns echoed through the halls, yells and screams entered Terra's ears. The boy shoved her toward a hole in the wall. A vent was sitting near it, implying the boy had taken it off.
"Crawl down there." He instructed. "It'll lead you outside. When you get to a dead end, just push. The brick there is very loose." He looked at the collar around her neck. "I'm sorry I can't do anything for you there, but you have to get out now."
Terra blinked. "What about you?"
He didn't answer her. He just shoved her into the hole and roughly pushed the vent on, covering it. "Go!" He hissed and turned around, running as fast as he could.
Terra watched in horror as a pair of legs belonging to a police man darted past the vent.
"Hey you, stop!" Called a voice belonging to the legs.
She quickly turned away and shut her eyes as the sound of a gun resonated in her ears and a loud gurgle followed. She started crawling down the tunnel, tears stinging her blue orbs. She pulled herself through the musty passage, trying not to look back, trying not to think of the poor boy who'd given his life to save her. The path stopped abruptly and Terra lurched forward, shoving a brick out of place and falling out into the fresh night air.
Desperate to run away from that wicked place, she pulled her body out of the tunnel.
I have to get out of here! I-I have to go back to the Titans! It's the only place I can go! Terra told herself.
She hadn't even gotten a foot away when there was a loud yell of, "FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!"
Terra complied, turning around slowly. Her eyes were wide and frightened.
A cop stood with a gun pointed at the geomancer's heart, his eyes cold and unfeeling. "You're coming with us, young lady." His eyes were focused on her hands.
It was then that Terra realized her hands still showed some of the stains of blood, no matter how faint they were. She gulped.
"P-please, sir, it's not what you think," She tried to find some way to explain what had happened, but couldn't.
She hung her head sadly and walked forward, allowing him to stick the gun against her back to get her to keep walking. It was then that Terra knew she was never getting out of this town- not without a fight or a miracle.
"How many times do I have to tell you," Terra growled at the officers "It was in self-defense! I don't even remember what happened!"
She sat in an interrogation room at a small table before two police officers. The cops in this town were, indeed, crooked, and she had spent the last hour telling and retelling them what had happened the last few days with little result.
"What your tone, kid!" Snapped one of the men in front of her.
The other man stared at her with hard eyes. "We've been told by a reliable source that you don't seem mentally stable."
"What?.!." Terra cried, standing up. "Who told you that?.!."
"That's none of your business, girl." The first cop snarled at her with a great deal of malice.
"Of course it's my business!" Terra responded. "I am not mentally unstable!"
The other cop's eyes pierced her, staring deep into her soul. "A person of mental stability doesn't go around telling people she's a Teen Titan."
That man! That damn man that had her locked away in that horrible building! He was responsible for this!
"B-but I am!" Terra protested. "I can even prove it! I can show you my powers!" She held out her hands to try and make the ground beneath them rumble, but nothing happened. Her eyes widened when she realized the collar that was somehow preventing her from using said powers was still around her neck. She eyed the men, both of whom were staring at each other warily. "N-no, please, it's not my fault… I-I'm not crazy, really!"
The second man sighed and walked to the door, the first following him. "You sleep here tonight. We'll get you to … a place where you'll fit in."
Terra took a step forward. "I'm not crazy! You have to believe me! I'm not!" Tears stung her eyes again. This wasn't happening… It wasn't… The door opened and shut and Terra's knees gave way. "You have to believe me… I'm not…"
The Titans had been searching for Terra for a week straight and they'd had no luck. They'd gotten all the Honorary Titans they could spare to help with the search, but they hadn't reported back anything of use. Beastboy barely stopped. He scanned the skies as a bird, looking for the girl they'd declared couldn't be their friend. He blamed himself, mostly. He couldn't get what Ashley had said out of his mind. "…when you love someone, you just know." He should've been able to tell it was her! He should've been able to tell that girl was really…
"Terra…" He murmured softly, staring at a picture of the two of them from their date at the amusement park. How long ago had that been? Months? Years? Lifetimes? The last one seemed closest. She'd been gone for so long… "I'd give anything just to talk to her one last time…"
Beastboy slowly set the picture back in its drawer and walked out of his room and into the Titans large room. He spotted Robin and made his way over to him.
"Any news?" He asked hopefully. Robin shook his head solemnly.
"I'm sorry, Beastboy. We're doing the best we can. We provided a picture of Ashley before the … change, but none of the other Titans have had any luck." Robin put a hand on Beastboy's shoulder. "We won't give up, though. She's out there somewhere, and we'll find her."
Beastboy tried to smile, but he found it too hard. "Thanks, Robin."
Just one last time…
Terra was led down the halls of an insane asylum. Cells with windows where specialists could look in on the patient but the one they were observing could only see themselves surrounded her- cells that she would soon know very well. Her hands were bound and two guards stood on either side of her. She was 'a dangerous child', they'd said. They 'couldn't take any chances', she'd heard. She didn't care. She knew she wasn't crazy, and she'd somehow get out of that building.
A guard eyed her suspiciously, to which she glared back. "I don't know why you're putting me in here…" She grumbled. "I'm not insane…"
The man shook his head. "That's what they all say, kid."
"I'm not!" Terra turned her head to him. "I'm not insane! This is all a misunderstanding! I'm perfectly in my right mind, and I have friends who can vouch for me!"
"Who? The Teen Titans?" The guard on her other side snickered. The first man gave him a hard look.
Terra gave the one who made the joke a disgusted look before turning her eyes front again. After a minute or so of walking, they stopped abruptly at a door. One of the guards opened it and the other pushed her in and closed it behind her. She fell to the white floor with a thud and turned around, ready to yell at them.
"I'm not-!"
Terra stopped suddenly. She stared into the mirror, her eyes wide.
You look in the mirror,
She slowly reached forward and touched the reflection.
"Th-that can't be…" It was of the girl who was with the Titans.
But someone else looks back.
She backed away from it, stumbling as she did and losing her footing. She landed on her back. Her memories slowly shifted, sorting into place. She found two sets- one that she thought was hers, the other that belonged to the face she now had. Life of the past few weeks- no, months- sorted out, showing her what she saw hadn't been what really was.
You remember a life you never had,
Terra stared at her hands, now knowing why she no longer had her gloves. She'd never had them in the first place. She'd only deluded herself into believing she did. Was she Terra? Were these memories even hers?
One that cannot be yours.
She pushed herself back up, looking into the mirror again. The face stared back with the same expressions, the same movements. She couldn't believe it.
"No… I'm Terra…" She repeated to herself. "I'm Terra…"
You are the piece that doesn't fit,
But no matter how many times she told herself that, part of her said no. Part of her said she was the other person. She only believed she was Terra. She wasn't, though. That other girl… She had to be Terra… But she said she wasn't Terra… She said she was Ashley. Ashley… The other memories she had belonged to her! But then… If that girl was Terra and Ashley… Who was she?
You don't belong in the game.
She didn't have a life… She didn't have anything… All she had were two sets of memories and no way to know if either was hers. She was a freak, a person with no identity. No one would take her, she had no home…
The board has been knocked over,
And she was insane. She couldn't be Terra or Ashley. She believed herself to be Terra, but she didn't look like her. The other girl looked like Terra, but knew she was Ashley. So "Terra" was neither. She wasn't anything. She wasn't anything but a girl without anything but a bunch of tattered memories, neither of which were hers.
She felt her knees give way. Her shoulders shook. And she broke down in uncontrollable tears.
You shall be swept away…
Ashley fidgeted as she stood outside "The Forbidden Room", the room of the Teen Titan Raven. This was a place few were allowed to go in, yet she was invited into. She knocked softly, biting her lip and glancing around. When Raven had formally invited her to talk, she didn't think she meant in her room, of all places!
Raven answered the door and looked at the girl with an indifferent expression. "You're here, good. Come in."
Ashley obliged. She stood, not daring to sit on anything in that room, a little off to the side of Raven, peering around the dark, dreary space. Raven was muttering to herself and seemed to be preparing something, maybe some sort of spell or ritual.
Finally, Ashley couldn't take it anymore. "Um, not to be rude or anything, but I have to know: why'd you invite someone who looks like a girl you hate into your room to talk?"
Raven didn't look at Ashley. She responded, "'Hate' is a very strong word," and left it at that. Ashley didn't want to push her luck. When Raven finally looked at her again, she'd made a strange symbol on the floor inside a circle with a white powder. "There. Now, step into that circle."
On the contrary, Ashley took a step back. "Slow down here. I have to know what I'm getting myself into first."
Raven sighed. "I'm going to use a spell that will at the very least help you if worse comes to worse." Ashley gave her a blank stare. Raven rubbed her temples and started to explain. "We know that Terra has your body, correct?" Ashley nodded. "And you don't have your memories, correct?" Another nod. "But Terra has hers, correct?." A third nod. "Now, we've had little to no luck in locating where Terra has gone, but I think this may help both us and you at the same time. What if when you two switched bodies, Terra not only received your physical form, but your memories as well?"
Ashley stroked her chin. "That would explain a few things… But why is it that I'm remembering some things?"
"She couldn't have gotten all of them." Raven suggested. "Or maybe she only received a copy, and the shock of it all sent you into an amnesiac state. In any case, it's safe to assume Terra has, in some way or form, your memories. It would explain, for one, maybe why her memories are jumbled and why she's seeing things that aren't there. Are you following?" Ashley nodded once more. "Good. Now, in my research, I came across a spell that may be able to return your body and memories, as well as, in theory, give Terra back hers."
Ashley did a double-take. "What! But how is this possible?" She asked.
"The spell would, in a way, reshape the body you're in to the one on the other end of the spell. Everything changed back to the way it was before, but without the person having to be in the same room. Technically, it would be the same body you have now, but in reality, it wouldn't." Raven explained. She went on to say, "And the memories would simply be transferred from her to you. You would remember everything about your previous life, and Terra wouldn't have them cluttering her mind. We'd be able to search for the Terra as we know her, and you'd be able to live your life and forget about us."
Ashley stared at Raven, amazed. "How can it do all this? How can you even find her?"
Raven frowned. "I can't find Terra, per se, but I can locate her mind. This may even help me get a general idea of where she is, killing two birds with one stone. This can only work if you cooperate, though, as we need someone on the receiving end."
Ashley stared hesitantly at the circle, but the thought of living out her own life chased away all fears she had of the witch's magic. She stepped willingly into the circle and gulped.
"I'm ready when you are."
Nightmares plagued Terra's sleep. She'd gotten to bed early, trying to convince herself this was all a twisted dream, but only fell asleep to discover she hadn't been wondering when she first woke up for weeks, but months on end. Time had gone by so fast she hadn't realized it. It frightened her.
As she slept, her body underwent an amazing transformation, and the memories that belonged to Ashley were stripped from her mind. She didn't know any of this, however, and neither would the men and women of the asylum. They'd never seen her before- her appearance before or after made no difference.
Ashley gripped her head and groaned as the conversion took place. She was slowly shifting from form to another. Her insides and outsides morphed and shifted, yet she felt no pain. It all felt weird, as if someone was molding her like clay. Memories rushed into her mind and were welcomed with open arms. She knew everything about her old life. Her friends, her family, everything! It felt amazing…
When she looked up at Raven, she found two eyes staring curiously down at her. "How are you feeling?"
Ashley blinked. "Fine." Her voice was back to normal. "In fact, I feel great!" She was herself again! At long last!
Raven smirked. "Good." She ushered the girl out of her room and followed her. "I have to tell Robin the spell was a success. Beastboy's already waiting for the instructions on where Terra may be, and we have to send them to him."
Ashley stopped her. "Raven?" She asked.
"Hm?"
"Why'd you do this? I mean, you don't even know me, and yet…"
Raven stared at Ashley long and hard. "Because I'm a Teen Titan. Helping people is what I do."
And she continued on, leaving Ashley to ponder what she'd said and relive her old life.
When Terra awoke the next morning, she didn't even bother to look in the mirror. She didn't want to see a different face staring back at her. She noticed the memories from before weren't jumping at her, but she supposed she had just suppressed them.
The door to her cell opened and a female nurse walked forward, putting a hand on Terra's shoulder. "Come with me, all right, dear?" She had a nice, soft voice. It reminded her of Starfire's. "We can get you some breakfast."
Terra nodded dully and followed her out the door, her eyes on the floor. Her hands were allowed to be free, but mainly because she looked too darn depressing to do anything about it. She was led to a large room with many other patients, talking to themselves or jerking, or just plain acting weird.
Am I like them, now? Terra thought bitterly as the lady told her to wait by the window. Am I suddenly one of the crazies? Or had she always been one? She saw things that weren't there, her mind played tricks on her, and she had no identity. It was obvious that she wasn't like everyone else.
She stared out into the world sadly, wondering if she'd ever be able to feel the warm earth beneath her feet again.
When Robin had told Beastboy Terra was in this town, he'd been a little skeptical. The city was filled with gangs and he had a sinking suspicion the police weren't all on the straight and narrow. The whole place had a weird feeling to it. He'd been scanning the streets as a hawk for a blonde head, but he hadn't had any luck so far. Anyone he'd seen didn't fit the Terra description.
He sighed and sat down on a bench outside a large white building on the outskirts of town. He was so close to finding her, but yet so far away as well. How would he know if she even wanted to come back, either? After all that had happened, maybe she didn't want to see them ever again…
All he knew was, he just wanted to see her, to talk to her, one last time.
"One last time…"
Terra's eyes lit up when she spotted a green-skinned boy outside the asylum. She felt her blood run cold and her body tense. Was it another illusion? Or was he really there? Should she even care? Despite the facts stacked against her, Terra couldn't help herself.
"Beastboy!" She cried, trying to wrench the window open. Other patients turned toward her, some of the leaped back in shock. "Beastboy, I'm here!" The nurses and doctors now had her attention as well. "Beastboy!"
"Someone, calm that girl down!" A doctor cried as he tried to settle his raving patient, a man in his thirties.
"Beastboy!" Terra tried again, seeing he hadn't heard her. She drew back her fist and, after a moment's hesitation, punched the glass. Amazingly, it cracked every so slightly. She pulled back to try again, but felt hands grab her around the waist. "Let me go! Someone I know is down there!" She turned back to the glass, kicking and yelling. She aimed a kick and created a good sized hole. "BEASTBOY!"
Beastboy's head snapped up as he heard a familiar voice yelling his name. "Terra?"
"BEASTBOY!" It called again.
"Terra!" Beastboy spun around, looking for the source of the voice. "Terra, where are you?.!."
The shouting got softer and Beastboy saw no place her voice could have came from. All he saw was a large building…
Terra was being dragged down the halls to her room, reaching out for the window in the large room and still calling Beastboy's name.
"Please, take me back!" She begged. "Let me see him!"
"Someone give this girl a sedative!" A voice yelled.
Terra was pulled forcibly back into her room, her eyes burning. She spied the kind nurse, who was looking at her sadly as she held a needle in her hands. "If you have any shred of humanity in you, you'd let me see him! Please!" She was pleading now, fully and completely.
Doctors held her down on the bed as straps constricted her movement. The young girl thrashed and pulled, desperate to get out. The needle, however, had other plans. She felt herself drifting off into slumber, her thoughts slowed, as did her racing heart.
"I want to see him…" A small tear escaped her eye before she fell into a deep sleep…
Beastboy stood at the entrance to the building.
"An insane asylum? Why would Terra be here?" He asked aloud.
This was, however, the only place her voice could've come from. There wasn't a single other area around the bench he'd been sitting at where she could've been hiding.
Maybe he had just imagined her voice. He'd wanted to see her so bad… But if he hadn't, he would just be abandoning her. But still, why would she be in an insane asylum.
Beastboy sighed, weighing the facts in his mind. He'd made his decision. He just hoped it was the right one…
END
Author's Notes: Now, before I get a thousand reviews telling me to update, let me tell you the original story ended a whole lot meaner. In that, the Titans never had a clue where Terra went, Ashley never got her body back, and Terra was doomed to a life in the asylum for sure, a total nutcase. This ending, however, I like better, as the readers can decide what happens, and it gives a bit more plot and closure to the issue with Ashley. Let me tell you, though, that I did not, in any way, have an ego trip when naming her. I named her after the voice actress, not myself. My name isn't Ashley Johnson, after all. I have a different last name. And she looks nothing like me, either.
Now, that said, I spent a long hard time writing this, and I hoped you all enjoyed it. And any who tell me to update clearly missed any point to these Author's Notes. ;smile; Thanks for reading.
Digital-Dragon-Master844
"Digi-Dragon"
Goddess of Victory
"Goddess-Chan"
Cagalli
"That Cute Chibi Girl"
Evil Empress Alchemist
"EEA"
Ash-twee
"Creepy Chibi Girl"
Dragon Ninja
"Lisenceplate Head"(- -)
Monofied Midget
"Mono-Chan"
(Ashley)