As Shay and I sat in my room and caught up I couldn't help but to think about Embry and how he ran off earlier. I was so worried that something was seriously wrong I couldn't focus on anything Shay was saying. Thankfully she's got a special talent for not noticing when people stop listening to her, it's a real gift. As she kept rambling on about the wedding I felt my phone vibrate next to me on the bed. When I picked it up and looked at it I saw a message from Embry. My heart jumped in my chest. I was nervous and happy and excited and terrified… too many emotions at once. I opened it and tried to contain my smile as I read it.

Hey Kai, sorry about earlier! Had to deal with an urgent work issue. How about I make it up? Usual spot?

I smiled at the reminder of our special retreat.

When we were little kids I had beat up some bullies that were harassing Embry about not having a father. He hadn't shown up for school and I heard them laughing about it. I waited until after school and followed them as they walked out. Then when I heard them make another comment, this one about Embry's mother, I grabbed the biggest one by the strap of his backpack and yanked him back so hard he toppled over and smacked his head on the sidewalk.

After I was finished with them and their sobs could be heard echoing down the street they were sprinting, I made my way home to give Embry the present I had gotten him. I remember the strange look on his face and the way he stared at my busted lip. When I got home my mother and father were livid. They'd already received calls from all of those boys' parents and they were demanding I explain myself. Once I did they smiled gently, wiped my face, and took me out for ice cream.

When we got back from getting ice cream there was a note left on the door addressed to me. It was from Embry asking me to meet him at the treeline in an hour. I ran inside to tell my parents and then made a run for the treeline behind our houses. He was standing there smiling at me.

He wordlessly grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him down a hidden, but well worn, path. I felt my cheeks heating up at the fact that Embry hadn't let go of my hand, but too soon we had come to a stop and I felt my mouth drop open in awe.

Before me was a small spring surrounded by big moss covered boulders. The space was clear of trees but the branches from surrounding trees created a canopy over the spring that allowed rays of sunshine to break through and bounce off of the calm water. Peace washed over me and I felt at ease. He turned to me with a shy smile. I could feel he was nervous, and then it clicked.

This was his special place. This was his sanctuary. He was sharing an intimate piece of who he was with me, and I was touched.

Shay didn't know about the special place, and I had never brought it up around her. We went there almost every day as kids, but when we grew older and he and Shay started having feelings for each other and spending more time together we visited the spring less and less… until it was just me visiting.

Shay was still rambling as I snapped out of my flashback. I made up an excuse and Shay left with the promise that we would have breakfast tomorrow. I sent Embry a quick text back.

Hey Em. It's ok, I understand. And yeah, I'm leaving the house now.

I felt my palms start sweating.

DING*

I quickly looked down at my phone to see a new text from Embry.

I'll be waiting…

My heart skipped a beat at that sentence. I knew not to read too much into that message but I couldn't help but blush. I pulled on my shoes and made my way downstairs and outside. I thought it would be difficult to find the path again, since it had been so long since anyone had used it, but oddly enough it was still as visible as ever. I made my way down the path and smiled at the familiarity of it.

It didn't take quite as long as it used to feel and before I knew it I was stepping out into the clearing and staring at the spring. Nothing about it had changed… well maybe except for the new hunk of beef sitting on a boulder by the spring. He seemed to have heard me approaching because he extended his hand for me to take and hoist myself up onto the boulder next to him. He never turned to look at me but I was thankful for that because for some reason I could feel my face heating up as his hand remained in mine even after I was firmly situated.

"I'm glad you came," his voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. I chuckled.

"I'm glad you asked me to… it's been a really long time since I've been here… even longer since we've been here together." At that his head swung in my direction and his eyes displayed guilt.

"Kai I'm so sorry I basically abandoned you! I never intentionally did that and I swear if I could go back in tim--"

"Embry!" that caught his attention. I moved my hand up to cup his face and smooth the worry lines around his eyes like I used to do when we were little. He closed his eyes and slowly leaned into my hand and I felt the tension melt away.

"Embry you don't have to apologize to me for anything. I'm just glad I'm back and I can reconnect with you guys and be here for your wedding," even I could tell by my voice that I wasn't being completely honest. His face told me he heard it too.

"Kai, what's wrong? And don't tell me you're fine because I felt it in the car and I feel it now, something is really upsetting you," he was not shy. I felt my face flush again.

"It's -- well it's just that -- okay so…" my heart was hammering in my chest and I felt sweat dripping down my neck. His hand squeezed mine and when I looked up into his eyes I felt my body relax and I knew I could tell him anything.

"For some reason whenever I hear about the wedding I get these -- I don't know -- INTENSE feelings of jealousy!" His eyebrows shot up and I immediately started to panic. "I mean not over you guys I'm super happy for you! I think it's more that I'm jealous because I'm alone. I just have never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone or anything and… I don't know I just want what you guys have," his face was emotionless, but his eyes were hard. They were angry. I couldn't understand why, but I didn't have a chance to ask.

"So are you saying you're going to start dating around then?!" he seemed angry, but like he was trying to reign it in. I shrugged.

"I don't know Em, I just… I just want to be happy…" at that his eyes softened a bit.

"What would make you happy Kai?" He asked. It almost sounded like a whisper. His hand was still in mine and I felt my face heating up. My mind was screaming at him, "YOU! YOU WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY!" but I shook that thought out of my mind. It was ridiculous, he was my best friend's fiancé! I pulled my hand back from his and I saw his face drop.

"I'm not sure Em… but I need to find it," my voice wavered a bit and I saw his hand move like he wanted to reach for me again but instead he paused and after contemplating he pulled his hand back into his lap.

"I hope you find it soon Kai… you're too smart and funny and beautiful to be alone for long. I just hope whoever wins your heart is worthy of it." His voice was strained and his eyes looked sad. My heart felt heavy at his comment too. I didn't understand why I was feeling this way all of a sudden, after all these years, but I felt guilty.