CHAPTER 36

The next couple of days were blurred from grief for Miguel, all of them blending into one heartbreaking blob. Him and his mom were both racked with devastation so the two of them merely attempted to survive the onslaught of emotional stabs they would feel whenever they thought about Rosa. Miguel survived it though for one simple reason: he had new fire inside him. A new goal. A new path. A better one. He was done with Cobra Kai and he had no clue what dojo he was going to join, if he even joined a different one (one possibility he had floating through his head was training with his fight club and then entering the All-Valley as an individual). The uncertainty about his future was a welcome distraction for him from the misery he was feeling over his yaya.

Eventually, the day of the funeral came around, and it was a day Miguel had been dreading since his grandma had passed away. He knew she was gone but still… saying goodbye was something Miguel didn't know if he had the strength to do. To make things worse, he knew he would have to give a eulogy in his yaya's honor. Sure it was a very small funeral with just Johnny, Carmen, Miguel, George and Mary (who had driven in from San Francisco), but Miguel was still terrified. He felt, given how absolutely awful his last words to his yaya were, he owed her a worthy eulogy. It was an extreme amount of pressure he had placed on himself, and it was definitely taking its toll on him.

From the first moment he woke up, he knew exactly what day it was, and he immediately felt an extreme nausea crash through his body. He shot out of bed and sprinted over to the bathroom, barely making it in time before his body gave out on itself and he hurled the contents of his stomach into the bathroom. Miguel closed his eyes. Shit start to what would undeniably be one of the worst days of his life…

The day dragged on extremely slowly for Miguel. He spent most of it locked in his room, not eating, not speaking to anyone, but inevitably it soon came time to get ready for the funeral. Miguel's hands trembled as he tied the tie of his suit that afternoon, his sweaty fingers slipping around too as he attempted to button up his shirt. As he took in a deep shaky breath, he could feel his heart rattling against his chest. He hadn't even left the house yet and he was absolutely terrified of the events to come that evening…

As he stepped into the funeral hearse alongside Johnny and his mom, Miguel's mind went numb and it felt like it had floated out of his body. The whole thing felt like an out-of-body experience for him, his mind refusing to catch up to his body. He barely registered as they arrived at the cemetery and saw his yaya's casket being carried into the chapel. Miguel just compressed all of his emotion deep down inside him and followed his mom and Johnny into the chapel, where George and Mary were also waiting. Miguel's numbness continued through the priest and his mom's speeches, both of which Miguel caught the minimum of. He knew he was up next and so his whole body was shaking with anxiety. He could practically hear the blood pounding in his temples as he fidgeted in his seat, unable to sit still as he waited to be able to give his goodbye. He needed this goodbye to go well SO BADLY - he needed the closure with his yaya once and for all. Soon, after what in Miguel's mind was an interminably long time, the priest finally called his name…

There was a quiet, supportive applause from Miguel's loved ones as Miguel walked up to the podium. Because he was so desperate for this to go well, he had even written a pre-prepared speech and he took it out from his breast pocket. His eyes quickly skimmed the hand-written page, and he winced, not speaking for a few moments. Every time he tried to begin reading the speech he had written, he felt a stabbing pain in his heart, a pain he knew the cause of. Eventually, he sighed.

"You know what? I can't do this." He said, ripping up the sheet of paper. "I can't give some lame-ass, heartless, pre-written speech. It would be an insult to my yaya. She deserves a proper goodbye."

Miguel took a deep breath and closed his eyes, the vivid image of his yaya imprinting itself in his head. Weirdly, although his pre-prepared speech had taken him 4 days to finish, suddenly he was having no trouble finding the words to say.

"For those of you who don't know me…" Miguel began, immediately causing eyebrows to be raised. Everyone sitting in the pews knew Miguel well, so they didn't really need him to introduce his name. Miguel ignored them and continued though. "For those of you who don't know me, I haven't been the best person these past few months. I went down the wrong path, became a bully. I got into more fights that I can count, with people who definitely didn't deserve it. I stayed out late and slipped into seedy bars every couple of nights, going home with girls I had never met and probably never would meet again."

This comment resulted in a slight scowl from Carmen, but she knew he was obviously building to a bigger point so she stayed quiet.

"And my yaya knew all of this. She saw me at my very, very worst. But she didn't care at all. She loved me so much that she overlooked all of my flaws and gave me nothing but so much affection and kindness. She was my best friend. The best friend I've ever had. And the best friend I'll probably ever have. She was the kind of person who rather than scolding you for getting into fights, would ask you 'did you win?' She saw me as the bullied nerd, the popular kid, the bully and aggressor, and through everything she stuck by me. And I… well, I failed to live up to my end. I pushed her away, refused to listen to her whenever she tried to show me the error of my ways, and became a, pardon my french… just became a real jackass."

It was the priest's turn to glare at Miguel and was about to speak up, but a killer glare from Johnny shut him up real quick. At this point, Miguel looked slightly upwards at the ceiling, talking directly to his yaya, who he knew was watching.

"You tried so, so hard to turn me back on the right path but I wouldn't listen. Well I'm listening now, yaya. I'm listening. But I just wish… I just wish it didn't take so long for me to do so, and take this happening to do so. But it's like you always used to say, it's not about avoiding the fights, it's making sure you win. Well I promise yaya, this is one fight I promise I'm going to win. I won't let myself get sucked back down that path. I'm going to stay floating, stay fighting, because I know that's what you'd want me to do. And you know I'm not crying today because as far as I'm concerned, you're not 'gone'. Or 'deceased'. Or any of the other bullshit words I've heard in the past week. I know you're always going to be watching down to guide me and protect me, so I know you'll be with me always. Te quiero, yaya…"

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"Nice speech."

Miguel abruptly looked up from his seat on the familiar bench outside to see Johnny sitting down next to him. The funeral had ended and they had all moved to Miguel's compound for the wake. The wake had also just ended, with George and Mary going home and leaving just Miguel, his mom and Johnny in the compound. After his speech, Miguel hadn't really spoken to anyone. He was congratulated by those at the funeral for a great speech, but other than that he hadn't talked to anyone. He was actually feeling a lot better after the funeral. It was like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His life was like a never-slowing train and since the school fight, a landslide had covered the only exit to the tunnel. He had been barreling full pelt for the rocks that had covered his exit and was millimeters away from crashing into it when suddenly, the rocks had cleared up slightly and exposed an exit out. And Miguel had dived through it and come out the other side to see a beautiful horizon in the distance.

"Thanks." Miguel grunted.

"How are you feeling?" Johnny asked.

"Okay. Not great but better than my mom for sure. Thank you so much for everything you've done to help us this past week and a half." Miguel replied.

"Come on, it was nothing." Johnny shrugged it off. Miguel shook his head.

"No. I mean it. It really means a lot to us." Miguel murmured. "And um… I'm really sorry for everything I said to you these past few months. I was angry and I…"

"Forgotten." Johnny interrupted, and Miguel nodded gratefully. The two sat in silence for several moments before Johnny asked the question weighing heavily on both of their minds.

"So… what now?" Johnny asked. Miguel sighed and looked at Johnny. He shrugged.

"I don't know, Johnny. I really don't know." Miguel murmured. "I know I want out of Cobra Kai, but I don't know much else than that."

"Have you considered joining Miyagi-Do?" Johnny asked. "I'm sure they could use some firepower amongst that group of pussies."

Miguel shook his head.

"Look, I know you're all good with the Miyagi-Dos now. That's great. I'm happy for you. But I'm still not. I might be trying to be a better person, but trying to join Miyagi-Do is only going to enhance this insane thought Miyagi-Do all have that they are the 'good guys.' Besides, you really think Miyagi-Do are going to let me in after less than 3 weeks ago, I beat the crap out of the core 6 people of their dojo?" Miguel remarked. Johnny chuckled.

"Guess you have a point there. And not going to lie, I might be okay with some of the Miyagi-Dos now, but I am seriously proud of what you did to Big Mouth."

"Big Mouth?" Miguel asked, before realisation dawning on his face. "Ohhhhh, you mean Demetri?"

"Yeah. What a pussy that kid is." Johnny commented. Miguel chuckled.

"While I don't disagree, I still might have gone a bit too far. I kinda clobbered the panties off of him." Miguel said. Johnny laughed and nodded.

"Damn right you did. So anyways, not Miyagi-Do I guess." Johnny said. Miguel nodded.

"Yeah, I might just continue training with the group of guys I'm currently training with outside the dojo and then enter the All-Valley as unaffiliated." Miguel said. Johnny furrowed an eyebrow in confusion.

"Huh? What group of guys?" Johnny asked.

"Oh, right, sorry, I guess I didn't tell you. After we made that bet for the All-Valley, Kreese decided that I needed some extra training so he took me to this shady, skeezy, underground fight club to fight with the grown men there."

"Damn." Johnny whistled in respect for Kreese. That was actually a clever move by his enemy.

Yeah, so I might just do that. At this rate, with the level of Miyagi-Do and Cobra Kai, the All-Valley will be a breeze. It's just going to be kind of sad not training with a dojo anymore."

Johnny looked at Miguel for several moments, before a small smile broke out across his face.

"Hey, I have an idea." Johnny said. Miguel cocked his head curiously.

"What is it?" Miguel asked. Johnny took a deep breath.

"Why don't you and I start our own dojo?" Johnny stated. Miguel's eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" Miguel stammered.

"Let's start our own dojo. Together." Johnny repeated. "We take the best parts of my old Cobra Kai. The best parts of your street fighting training. We recruit anyone we can from Miyagi-Do and Cobra Kai. We'd be unstoppable in the All-Valley."

"We would be pretty insane." Miguel admitted. Johnny grinned.

"Damn right we would be! So… are you in?"

Miguel looked at him closely for several moments, internally weighing up the benefits and consequences in his head.

"I'm in." Eventually, he nodded and held out a hand, which Johnny shook, smiling from ear to ear. "Let's do this…"