Before Dana could answer there was a knock at the door.
"It's open," Lola yelled automatically and then received glares from the other girls that said "you shouldn't have done that in case it's a certain someone".
Luckily a girl came in and greeted as she came over to the girls, "Hi I'm Rachel. I'm your new DA. I just transferred here and it will be my only year here because I'm a senior."
The girls introduced themselves to the friendly red head, until Dana was the only one left. Rachel said, "Dana, I remember from earlier. It was a bit of an awkward situation. I made up that rule and so you guys know I'm pretty flexible with the rules usually. But earlier I hope I did the right thing by getting him out, I wasn't sure."
"Yeah, that was lucky that you came in or we'd be having a really different and a lot worse conversation," Dana replied trying not to think about the what ifs.
"She knows something," Nicole said wide eyed, "now you have to tell us what happened, no more waiting."
"I'll see you guys around," Rachel said as turned to leave.
"Wait," Zoey said and explained, "if she was part of whatever happened maybe she could help. Right Dana?"
Nicole jumped in before Dana could answer, "And she's older and probably has more experience then us, because honestly so far I'm confused. I'm not seeing a problem."
"Yeah, all I need is more people knowing," Dana replied sarcastically.
"Actually, I already have a pretty good idea of what was going on," Rachel added uncomfortably.
"This is so embarrassing," Dana said as she once again buried her face in her hands.
Rachel approached cautiously as she said, "I'm good with problems. Not my life, but my friends lives, back home, they were like soap operas. I was always the go to person for help. And I'm usually good at reading people. I mean I knew to get him out of here earlier. I don't want to pressure you though. It's fine if you want me to leave. Just, everyone, know you can come to me for help."
Dana decided and asked, "Well, if you're not busy would you mind staying?"
"Nope, not busy," Rachel said taking a seat on the arm rest of the couch Dana was on.
"Before I continue," Dana said delaying still, "Rachel should be caught up. Nicole would you?"
Nicole squealed took a deep breath and began, "So the guy is Logan. Two years ago when they allowed in girls Dana and Logan met. She was new obviously and he wasn't. First Dana helped Zoey prove to Logan that girls should be on the basketball team; that pissed off Logan. And Logan was always asking Dana if she wanted to make out, but she always said something mean and rejected him. He asked other girls too, but not as often as Dana, but other girls also weren't as brutal to him as Dana. Then at the end of the year dance we were paired up by personality test results and Logan and Dana got paired together and they were dancing, badly, and Logan asked her to make out and Dana told him to close his eyes and she stomped on his foot and ran away. Then the year ended and she didn't tell him or any of the guys actually, that she wasn't coming back. She went for a semester abroad in Paris. Her parents signed her up for the program. So Logan started writing to her. He said he didn't have anyone to argue with without her around, but he usually only ended up arguing with her because he would say something without thinking first. So they wrote to each other at least once a day all year. Oh, and this one time they were talking about what was sexy and Logan wanted to know what was his sexiest quality and Dana gave a medium flirtatious response because it was early on and that was appropriate, but Logan, his was fantastic. He wrote to her, 'Dana Cruz every single thing about you is sexy as hell'. And he kept a count at the bottom of his e-mails until she would come back. And he got really upset when her parents extended her stay. She didn't want to stay either, she hated it. Then he kind of told her he missed her. Then they played this super flirtatious game and he was really sweet in that too. And then she started this really, really flirtatious conversation about snogging, which was what her English roommate called making out, and she ultimately let him know that her answer to his infamous question wasn't a no anymore, but she didn't say yes either, it was a maybe. Then he called her on her birthday and he got her a few tickets to see David Gray, who she told him had the perfect slow dance song, 'This Years Love', and he got it dedicated to her and sent a message along with it, another happy birthday and he said it will; which meant that he was saying that this year's love will last. Oh, by the way he could do that because Logan's really rich, his dad is Malcom Reese the movie producer. Then he wanted to come visit her at her home in Ohio over the summer but his dad eventually killed those plans. They were both upset about that. Then he wrote to her yesterday and said that today would be a life changing day and he said love Logan and he's never ended an e-mail with love Logan before. Then something happened today and Dana was just getting to that." Nicole took a breath and addressed Dana, "Is that everything?"
Quinn added, "Oh, and earlier, after Dana was done hyperventilating, we established that she didn't hit Logan like she wanted to before she left because subconsciously she didn't want her hitting him to be the last memory he had of her for an undetermined amount of time."
"Yeah, I think that's it," Dana said reluctantly.
Zoey got up and crossed the room to sit next to Dana as she asked, "So what happened today?" Dana didn't say anything so Zoey added, "Dare you to tell us?"
Dana doesn't back down from a dare, and unfortunately for her Zoey knew it. She took a deep breath and began, "So Lola went to lunch and I was all alone so I…I went and re-read the last e-mail. It was weird and cryptic and it really bugged me. Then I heard a knock and I heard Logan say, 'Hello? Anyone here?' and I got up and I stopped just outside the door way to mine and Lola's room to see Logan, he had come in. And, God like an idiot I just stared at him. I mean we once talked about how our respective appearances had changed and he told me his hair was a lot shorter like less than an inch in length and I told him I cut my hair too…"
"I really like your hair by the way," Nicole interrupted, "it's so cute and bouncy and curly. I wish mine had your volume."
"Thanks," Dana said before getting back to her confessions, "Anyway he told me he was taller too, but I didn't expect him to look that good. I mean, I wouldn't have admitted it and never will again, but I knew he was good looking before, but now he's got me staring at him like an idiot. Then I snapped out of it and said, 'Hi' and he said 'Hi' back. Then I tried to ignore the awkwardness and I started to walk over to him, I don't know what the plan was when I got to him, I wasn't really thinking well. Then after a couple steps, like a klutz I tripped over my own feet. Logan is either really fast or he was walking towards me and I didn't notice, because he caught me. I was leaning against his lower stomach and his arms were tightly wrapped around me; that was when I noticed he must have spent a lot of time at the gym in the last year. Then he got that stupid smirk on his face and he said, 'I always knew you'd fall for me Cruz'. I resisted the urge to slap the smirk off his face and simply stood up, but my feet didn't really move so we were still really close and I retorted, 'That is such a bad line, but I see you haven't changed.' Then he smiled at me. He smiled, I've never seen him smile. He always just has that stupid smirk. I mean has anyone seen him smile? Is this new?"
Zoey, Quinn, and Lola all agreed that they'd never seen him smile.
Nicole disagreed, "Actually, I've seen Logan smile. It makes sense now too."
"What? When? Why?" Dana quickly questioned.
Nicole was practically jumping out of her seat with excitement as she said, "I was at the boy's room looking for Zoey and Michael and Logan were there and Michael said Zoey was with Chase and he asked if I wanted to stay and play video games with him and since I didn't have anything better to do I did. Logan was at his computer and he was in his e-mail, I know because I saw the MSN Hotmail thing at the top of his screen, and he was smiling. I nudged Michael and asked why Logan wasn't playing and he said Logan was always on his computer and usually, as Michael put it, 'grinning like and idiot'. Michael and Chase found it really creepy and so did I actually, until now, now it makes sense."
"Okay so you're what makes Logan smile. Continue with you're story," Zoey urged.
"So he was smiling and it took me by surprise and I just froze there and then he said, 'Actually I don't ask anymore'. Then before I could even blink he kissed me," Dana said not noticing the fact that she was both blushing and smiling, "but it was just a kiss. It was sweet. Then he moved his hands from my face; when he kissed me he had cupped my face in his hands, then he wrapped his arm around to my back and his other hand…he kind of slowly brushed it down the side of my body."
"What do you mean?" Nicole needed clarification.
"I don't really know how to describe it," Dana started.
"Show us," Lola instructed.
As Dana copied Logan's hand movement as she said, "He just lightly brushed the back of his hand all down my face and my neck and my chest and my stomach then he turned his hand over and placed it on my hip. Then he leaned in and whispered, 'I missed you'. And I don't know… I wasn't thinking and then I kissed him and started to make out with him."
Dana paused, she didn't want to continue. The girls didn't know she was just pausing though and Zoey said somewhat confused, "That's it. You made out with Logan."
Wincing a bit in anticipation of their reactions Dana continued, "We didn't exactly stop at making out."
Four jaws dropped as Rachel said, "Yeah I heard that part."
"Oh God, that wasn't in my head," Dana said cringing, "this is so embarrassing."
Finding her voice Zoey asked what they were all thinking, "You slept with Logan!"
"No," Dana replied quickly. She cringed again as she continued to tell the truth, "But if Rachel didn't show up…I think it was a definite possibility."
"Dana!" Zoey said shocked.
"I told you I wasn't thinking," Dana said defensively.
Nicole raised an eyebrow as she said, "What exactly did you guys do?"
"Yeah, what did Rachel hear?" Lola said on the edge of her seat.
Dana shut down again, "No, you know what, this isn't helping. Talking about it isn't helping. Forget I said anything. I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen, I need to pretend it didn't happen."
"No Dana, bottling it up and avoiding it isn't helping; you not telling us everything isn't helping. I'm not just talking about what happened, but why it happened. You said you weren't thinking, but why weren't you thinking? What was going on?" Zoey said concerned as she took Dana's hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
Dana could feel tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she said in a low shaky voice, "I hate this. I hate him. I hate that he can do this too me." Dana put her head down and covered her face with her hands.
Zoey started rubbing Dana's back soothingly as she asked, "Do what to you?"
"This," Dana said sitting up. Tears were flooding from her eyes as she continued, "Have you ever seen me cry?"
"No," they all replied quietly.
As she continued too cry she said, "That's right because I don't cry, but I've cried more in the last year than I have my entire life, and it's all because of him."
"What does he do to make you cry?" Zoey asked cautiously.
"I don't know," Dana said shaking her head, "it doesn't make sense. I didn't cry when my parents extended my stay, not until I had to tell him I wasn't coming back and then again when I read the e-mail from him. It made me cry that he seemed to be upset that I wouldn't be back. Then I cried every time I read that e-mail from January 3rd and every time I listened to that song. And it took all my strength not to cry in the crowded café after my birthday, but when I got outside I couldn't fight it anymore and I walked around crying for hours. And I'm crying now because he didn't mean any of it. And I'm an idiot because for me it became everything and he didn't mean it. And I'm crying because what am I going to do if I'm wrong and he did mean everything?"
After a couple of minutes Dana stopped crying and Zoey cautiously asked, "Dana what happened today? Why do you think he didn't mean anything he said?"
Looking down at nothing Dana answered, "Everything with Logan has always been…intense. I don't know how to describe it really. Like even before I left I could tell if he was around, it was like I could feel his presence. And I could always tell if he was looking at me, because it was like his eyes would burn into me, and he looked at me a lot. Actually for a while I thought that there was something wrong with me, like I thought that I was constantly getting food on my face or something. Then he kissed me and that was the most intense feeling I've ever experienced. It was like I couldn't breath again, but I didn't care as long as he kept kissing me."
Nicole raised an eyebrow again and asked, "So because of this intensity what did you two do?"
Dana let out a big sigh, but accepted that she wasn't going to get out of telling them. She started to blush even before she began, "Well, it was intense and he kept pulling me closer, but I really couldn't get any closer, but I wanted to be. Then, I don't really remember how I did it, but I wrapped my legs around his waist and he stumbled a bit and put his hands on," Dana said very quietly, "my butt."
"What was that? I didn't hear?" Nicole said loving the moment.
Growing frustrated at the situation Dana said angrily, "He grabbed my ass, okay? And I always thought I would knee any guy who tried that in the groin, but I honestly couldn't have cared less. And we were still making out all this time, it was actually really fast and he backed me into the wall over there," Dana gestured to the wall near the door, " and since his hands would have been crushed by the wall if he kept them where they were, his hands began to roam. Although, to be fair, my hands seemed to have a mind of their own also; that was when I confirmed the thought that he had been spending a lot of time at the gym." Dana stopped and cleared her throat, she knew her cheeks must have been really red at this point because they were really burning. She looked toward the ceiling, avoiding all eyes, as she continued, "Then his hands came to a stop, kind of. Well, since I'm wearing a skirt, when I wrapped my legs around him, my skirt came up around my waist, kind of. So his hands ended up on the lower part of my bare hips. And he's pretty well coordinated because while he was kissing me, which by the way he's really good at, he was moving his thumbs in small little, thrilling circles. Then he started kissing my neck and I'm guessing that's what Rachel heard. I'm pretty sure he caused me to…moan a few times, but it wasn't out loud it was into his mouth, but when he was kissing my neck, well, then it was out loud. But before Rachel interrupted I pulled him back and started making out with him again. Then Rachel knocked and we stopped and jumped apart and when Rachel came in he was really far away and he wouldn't look at me. She told him he should be in his dorm and he left and I thought he would call or come back or something and now it's been like five hours and I guess he's not coming back because I already gave him what he wanted. I fell for all his tricks and made out with him and now he's done with me." Dana was crying again by the time she finished.
"Do you want to know what I saw when I interrupted?" Rachel began. She didn't wait for a response before she continued, "I saw both of you standing about four feet apart and both of you were staring at your shoes and blushing immensely and looking very uncomfortable. And to be fair I told him he had to leave and I didn't leave until he did."
"Doesn't change anything," Dana muttered.
Zoey determinedly said, "I admit that it wasn't like Logan to actually leave. I would have thought he would have just waited around the corner until Rachel left and then came back and suggested you pick up where you left off. But I know him writing to you all year wasn't some kind of ploy."
"Really Zoey? Enlighten me then," Dana said harshly.
Zoey ignored Dana's tone and said, "Logan wouldn't do that because Logan's lazy. I mean even his pick up line isn't really a line, it's just a blunt question, he doesn't even bother to think of anything new or girl specific. He sleeps in most of his classes and he pays people to do a lot of his work. Someone that lazy would not spend an entire year writing thoughtful things to a girl who was half way around the world on the very slim chance that she would stop hating his guts."
Dana was silent and Nicole said frightened, "Please don't kill me for saying this, but according to your account of events, you started the making out, not him."
"What!" Dana exclaimed.
Nicole winced but continued, "He kissed you once and told you he missed you, but then you kissed him. If you hadn't of done that you might not have ended up making out with him and your theory about why he wrote you wouldn't work."
Dana scrambled to come up with, "Well if he wasn't there to make out with me then he could have stopped."
Rachel chuckled and said, "Guys can't stop, guys are pretty much never the ones to stop."
Dana looked around at all the girls and asked, "So all of you think he really meant everything and the fact that he hasn't been around since…the incident, is just some weird thing?"
All five girls reassured her that they thought he was being sincere. Dana was silent, deep in thought.
After a couple of minutes of silence Quinn asked, "Dana can I ask you some real and some hypothetical questions?"
"Sure Quinn. Why not," Dana said completely confused at this point.
Quinn got out a notebook and pen and asked, "Did you miss him?"
"Yes," Dana said quietly.
"Can you describe how that felt?" Quinn asked softly.
Dana sighed and said, "It was different from how I missed you guys and my parents. It was like emptiness. I missed him so much it hurt, it was literally painful. Took me a while to figure out what the pain and emptiness was caused by, but it became a little better when he wrote to me and I started to realize it was him, missing him hurt."
Quinn kept her voice soft still, "So you missed him over the summer before you left for Paris?"
"Yeah," Dana said nodding.
Quinn scribbled something down and asked, "So do you think you would have missed him even if he didn't write? Would you have missed him the entire time?"
"Yes," Dana said quietly.
Quinn maintaining her soft voice asked, "If he didn't write and you spent over a year missing him what would you have done when you came back, when you saw him?"
Dana thought about it for a minute then smiled weakly as she said, "I would have, with Zoey and Nicole's help, made sure he didn't have a girlfriend. Then some day no more than a couple of weeks after I got back I would have just been walking down a hall and he would be too. Then I would have grabbed him and dragged him into a storage closet or something and pinned him against the wall and then I would have kissed him, hard and made out with him. Then when he was sufficiently into it and confused I would have left without a word. I would have been both mean and flirtatious to him in person, just to mess with his head. And I would repeat the dragging closet move at random times, but I would never let him get too far. The last time I do it I will speak though and whisper seductively, "Your move," or something like that. Then I would stop completely, avoid him, make it like I left his life and waited to see if he wanted me back in it." Dana shrugged and continued, "Or something like that, I probably would have thought of something better if I had spent a year thinking about it."
"Right," Quinn said nodding and scribbling in her notebook.
"I want to try that on a guy," Lola commented.
"I'll help you pick one out," Nicole said excitedly.
"Okay!" Lola said but then calmed down and said, "we'll go guy hunting tomorrow."
Quinn stopped scribbling and asked, "Can Logan make you happy? I mean, has he ever caused you to feel happy?"
"Yes," Dana said with a reflective smile.
Quinn questioned, "Would you say he has made you feel happier than anyone else has?"
"Yes," Dana said without needing to give it a moment of thought.
Quinn scribbled as she talked, "And we've established that he makes you cry, so he causes sadness and pain too, which other people don't cause you. And from what you described of today's…events I'll put a yes for physical attraction and chemistry. So what was the best thing about Paris?"
"Logan writing me," Dana said automatically.
Quinn scribbled and asked, "What was the worst thing about Paris?"
"Logan wasn't there," Dana said automatically again, but became alert suddenly and continued with a groan, "Holy crap! My life depends on him."
Quinn was still scribbling in her notebook as she replied, "No, your life doesn't depend on him, just your heart."
"What?" Dana said as her heart skipped a beat.
Quinn looked up and directly at Dana as she said, "You're in love with him. That's what all the questions were about. A simple test and it one hundred percent proved that you love him."
"What!" Dana exclaimed again feeling as though she was losing her grip on reality. She started shaking her head despite the fact that she felt dizzy and said, "No, you're wrong. The test was just one of your Quinventions and those are always wrong."
Quinn defended, "The test wasn't a Quinvention. I broadened my studies over the summer and I studied love, its existence, its expressions, its complexities. Then I studied human psychology and I created this test as I went along based on what I've learned." Quinn crossed the room and sat on the coffee table making her face to face with Dana. She said softly, "Dana, he's the only person who can make you cry; he makes you happier than anyone else. You spent over a year away from him and not only did you not forget him, you missed him every second of it. You talk to each other like best friends and if you didn't have a passionate relationship then Rachel wouldn't be sitting here with us." Dana gave a small laugh and Quinn continued, "If that intense feeling isn't love what is it?"
Dana was silent for a minute before she started shaking her head and said, "It just can't be, that's crazy."
Truly not knowing the answer Zoey asked, "What's so crazy about it?"
Dana was surprised that anyone had to ask and replied flustered, "For one I'm 15, I can't be in love."
Rachel said wisely, "You are never too old or too young to meet the love of your life. Just don't be too scared to go after it, sometimes you don't get a second chance at love. Don't let this just pass you by."
Dana was silent, she was deep in thought again. The rest of the room stayed silent and waited. After ten minutes that seemed like an eternity Dana took a deep breath and concluded, "Okay, fine you're right. That intense feeling, it must be love, I can't come up with anything else. And I'm not afraid of anything so I'm going after it, but I'm not saying it first. I don't care how long I have to wait I'm not going to be the one that says it first."
The girls all squealed with excitement and Zoey and Nicole came over and hugged Dana. Dana tried to shake them off while blushing, "We've spent way too long talking about this, can we just change the subject?"
"Before we do," Quinn began, "I wanted to let you know that I've read about this, people with your personality type. See you don't let anyone in, you always have your guard up so you don't get hurt and you hate not being in control. Even in your hypothetical situation you were the one in control. I just wanted to tell you, if it makes you feel any better, your reactions to the fact that all of this causes you to lose that control are completely normal. Everything you've been feeling is completely expected for someone like you in this situation."
"Thanks Quinn, that actually does make me feel better," Dana said but she didn't want to dwell. She knew she wasn't the only one in the room with relationship confusion, "Let's change the subject. So Zoey what are you going to do now that you know Chase gave you that?" Dana asked pointing to the bracelet Zoey was wearing. She wore it everyday.
Zoey was absently playing with it as she said, "I don't know. I like Chase, I've always liked Chase. Chase loves me, that's what everyone says. I know I want him to be more than a friend, but I don't know if I love him. When Quinn was asking those questions; Chase makes me really happy, just always. Then when I thought he liked someone else, he can make me sad, more depressed than I had ever been. I had never even been depressed. It's just the physical attraction part and the chemistry. I mean both are there, just there only there as much as they are with any cute guy. I've never felt that intensity that Dana was talking about. I'm hoping that I haven't felt any of it because Chase is a good guy and he's never crossed the friend boundary. We've just never had one of those moments, you know?"
"Yeah," the girls said, knowing exactly what she was talking about.
Zoey sighed heavily and continued, "I don't really want him to tell me he loves me, I just want to have one of those moments. I want him to just cross the friend line and have a moment, so I'll know that it is love. Then I don't care, I'll say it first, I'll tell him I love him and he'll finally tell me he loves me. I just want that moment."
Lola decided to play the pessimist, "What if he tells you before you have a moment?"
Zoey shrugged and replied, "I don't know. I'll just have to figure it out if it happens."
Lola continued the role of pessimist, "What if he never tells you and you never have a moment?"
Zoey shrugged again and said, "I don't know. I don't really want to think about the what ifs. I think I'll just deal with everything as it comes."
There was a moment of silence, Nicole was the one to break it, "So what are you going to do about Logan?"
Dana knew they would get back to this topic eventually, "Well, what time is it?"
"It's 5," Quinn answered.
Dana thought for a minute and decided, "I think I'll give him another hour to come back or call or something. Then, if he comes or if I have to go find him I guess we'll just have to figure things out. He's going to be sorry though if I have to find him. Then I need to know why he really wrote me and what he thinks about what happened earlier and why he wouldn't come back. I need to know how he feels." Dana groaned and laid down more on the couch, "This day just keeps getting longer."
A/N: First of all, thank you for reading. Second, the next chapter will be about what Logan's been doing while Dana's been spilling to her friends. It should be up next week. I hope you're liking the story!